Erin's ttc journal-since 1/1/05

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Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7
Erin's ttc journal-since 1/1/05

I have opened up this thread three times trying to get up the courage to post in it, and get all these feelings out. Sometimes trying to get pregnant all this time feels selfish. I, unlike many other stories I have read, have been blessed with three beautiful children, two by birth, and one by marriage. But, as I toil and fret each month, I can't help but ponder why I can't get pregnant.
I have been pregnant three times by accident, and I suffered one miscarriage. Now, when the plan is in place, and the timing seems perfect, we cannot seem to get the job done.
So my ttc journey began in January of 2005. We thought we knew the magic combination. Just stop using all means to prevent pregnancy. After three months of that being unsuccessful, we began to be a little more proactive. I began timing cycles, which turned into temping, which turned into charting, which turned into obsessive cm and cervix placement checking, which turned into complete meltdown. I had become a charting maniac, and I had to stop. So now, after 4 months of not charting, I am one again charting.
I have tried everything natural under the sun including Vitex, Zinc, Green Tea, vitamin B6, red raspberry leaf tea, natural progesterone cream, etc etc. I have tried giving up coffee, alcohol, sugar (well sort of). I have tried taking cough syrup, the pelvic tilt, and strategic sperm depositing. Nothing.
So, after all this time, I have made a doctor's appt. It is May 8th. I am very proud of me. I have not been to a doctor since my daughter was born, and she is 4. I am a Chrirstian, and I have really struggled with whether or not all of this ttc business is taking things out of God's hands. But, I have been praying about it and the Lord had placed a desire in our hearts for a baby. I have so much more to say as far as all of this is concerned, but I think this marks a good beginning.

Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7

Well, it's less than one week now until my doctor's appt now. My appointment is next Monday at 1:30.

I was gone at a scrapbooking event over the weekend, and praying that I didn't O over the weekend while I was away from hubby. I am temping and I didn't think that I did O, but I am now on CD18 and I have not had a temperature rise.In fact my temp was 97.27 this morning, which is really low! Well, maybe tomorrow. I was sre I O'd yesterday when I got a twinge of pain in my left ovary, but apparently not.

Any way, still keeping track, and hoping this appt will set me straight.

Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7

Well, this cycle is really dragging. And temping has not at all alleviated my confusion. I finally had a temp rise yesterday, but today it fell again. And after entering my temps into fertility friend, they first had me o'ing on 5/2, and now not at all because of the plummet. Oh well, my dr.'s appt is now only 2 days away. I will bring my little log and see what he thinks.

Getting pg right now would be so great. I have very hard early pregnancies and the rough stuff would fall in the summer, when my kids are out of school, and I could get help from local kids on summer vacation. I really wanted this last year in the summer. I really hope I don't miss it again.

Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7

My doctor's appointment was GREAT! My doctor listened and he already ran some blood tests. I have an u/s scheduled for June 6th for my ovaries. He doesn't think I am ovulating at all! What a concept. Since I always have a temp rise eventually, I assumed I ovulated! Wow! So, by next month I will know if my progesterone levels are out of whack, whether or not I have a thyroid problem, whether or not I have graves disease, etc etc.

He also wants my hubby to get his sperm count tested. Dave is not excited about this! In fact, at this point he is saying a resounding no, but we'll see. Doc wants all info in front of him by next appointment.

We even talked about my HG, and it sounds like he will be very proactive about it. But, I will have to get pregnant first.

I am hating fertility friend right now. They moved my O date for the third time, now to CD 22. If that is the case, we are not pg, because we were too busy bding between days 13-20 and now we are tired, and taking a few days off. Perhaps I just never O'd this month like doc suspects.

Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7

Well, I haven't posted in awhile because my last cycle was very difficult.

I had a 34 day cycle, and on day 35 when af finally came, I had had it. I was sick and sleepy, so i was sure with a late af I was pg. But, I wasn't. I am doing better now on cd 13. I am starting OPK's tomorrow and my u/s is on Tuesday 6/6. I am pretty excited about that. Here is my protocol:

Cycle #18

Temping throughout cycle, charting on fertility friend
Taking 150 mgs of B-6
Taking 400 mgs of Vitex
Taking a B-complex (100 mgs)

At CD14:

Start OPK's
Start Robitussin (1 tsp 3x's per day)

After O:
Use Natural Progesterone Cream 1 x nightly
Stop Robitussin & OPK's

Upon late af:
Start HPT's 1 time per day!

Taking Zinc
Taking folic acid

That;s it for now!

Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7

Well, it has been almost a month, and a lot has changed.

At my 6/6 appt. I found out I have PCOS.

I started Clomid this cycle days 5-9. 50 mg. But on my CD 10, we had a very painful situation arise, after which I have been physically ill from emotional stress. I wonder if the stress will supress my Clomid-induced O.

So now, I am stressed about that too.

I am only on Cd13, but haven't much hope for this cycle. We are wondering if we should go on a ttc break.

Hubby's SA was normal, so that was good at least.

Joined: 04/25/06
Posts: 7

Well, things began changing drastically in July. First of all, I ovulated on July 1st. I had a very strong temp rise, and a goos day 21 progesterone. We were camping, so that made ttc interesting. But apparently we did the job :oops:

On Wednesday 7/12 and 11 dpo, I got the faintest line on a hpt you have ever seen. So faint, I was not sure it was really there. But, it was the first faint line in 18 months, so the next day I took 2 more and they were still faint. Friday, still faint, but visable to people who were not obsessive line hunters. And Then yesterday, at 16 dpo, a very positive positive.

I have an appt on Monday. I really hope they give me an u/s so I can see a heartbeat. My last mc was at 7 weeks. I am 4 1/2 weeks now.

I still feel like I am pretending to be pg. After this long, I just expected to not get pg.

Since I get SO incredibly sick with pg, I am really trying to focus on getting ready for that. Also, our other personal situation concerning our oldest child is what is currently occupying my mind and time, so I have not had time to dwell on mc.

And, I just don't want to get too excited yet.