I've been thinking about starting my TTC journal, and now is a good time to do it. My background is that I married my husband, Joe, in December of 2002, so we're coming up on 4 years. We dated almost 5 years before we got married and we knew each other for 4 years before that. I got baby fever pretty much as soon as we got married, which surprised me because I didn't know for sure that I wanted kids at all. It's funny how we can change our minds. We wanted to be more financially secure before we had kids, so we did wait to try. We went through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University at our church and became completely debt free except for our house. No more credit cards for us--EVER! Anyway, I went off bc pills in June of 2005 and we weren't really trying, but we weren't not preventing pregnancy either. I was diagnosed with PCOS in college, so we figured it wasn't likely for me to get pregnant either without a good deal of effort. I had experienced problems with my period since I was about 15 and things just got worse from then on. I gained 50 pounds in one year in college. It was horrible! Now I am taking metformin, and some of the weight is beginning to come off. So, a year went by with no form of birth control and I wasn't pregnant. In that time, I think I had only two periods. In July of this year we decided to really ttc and I went on 50 mg of clomid for the first time. My ob/gyn didn't do a progesterone test so I don't know that I ovulated then, and I'm pretty sure I didn't because I went two months without a period and I wasn't pregnant. In August, I had three kidney stones and ended up in the hospital for 5 days! I had a $35,000 hospital bill--luckily, insurance only made me pay $1,000. That kind of broke up our ttc plans for August because I was in such bad shape. After that, my ob/gyn gave me 50 mg of clomid again for September, but this time she did the 21 day progesterone check and I had a 5.7, which is really low! I was super disappointed! They told me to wait until day 35 and see if I had my period by then or if by chance I did get pregnant. Today is day 28 and I've had a very light flow. I started spotting yesterday afternoon. We'll see if it is actually AF or not. I hope it is because it's amazing if my body is working on its own. If it is my period, I'll start 100 mg of clomid this week. Plus, I'm seeing a new ob/gyn who will keep a better check on me. Anyway, that's a brief overview of my history. I'll write more later!
I've had an interesting couple of days. I mentioned that I started spotting on Saturday, October 7th and was having very light flow on the 8th. Well, it had stopped by yesterday morning (9th), but then I started spotting again around lunch time. I was beginning to wonder what was up. I called my ob/gyn's office to get a refill on my metformin and to let them know about my bleeding. The nurse said even though I wasn't having a "normal" period, I should still start my next cycle of clomid for today (10th). That was great news because I didn't have to take provera this month to make AF come and I can start clomid sooner. She told me to take a pregnancy test just to make sure I wasn't pregnant before I took the clomid. I was going to take my hpt this morning, but I decided to take it last night. To my shock and amazement, my digital test came back positive!! I about fell in the floor, because with the bleeding and the low progesterone count, I was sure I couldn't have been pregnant. I almost ran to the living room to tell Joe, but I held back because I had always imagined surprising him with the news in some cutesy way. Anyway, I called my sister instead. I could barely sleep last night thinking about expecting a baby. I knew though that I needed to take a blood test at the ob/gyn's office to make sure since things seemed a little weird. I called this morning and went in at 9, and my best friend got to take my blood. She also snuck me a urine pregnancy test to do while I was waiting to hear back from the blood test. Well, the urine test was negative so I really started thinking the first hpt was wrong. I called the ob/gyn's office about 3 and they told me that the blood test was negative. I was certainly disappointed, but I had been preparing myself for it. The nurse told me that it was highly unusual to get a false positive with an hpt, but obviously it can happen. So anyway, I'll start my 100 mg of clomid tonight, and we'll see how things go this cycle. I'm feeling pretty positive that this cycle will go better than my previous two cycles on clomid at 50 mg. I just want to ovulate so that I know my body will, even if I don't get pregnant the first time I ovulate. I believe that this is in God's hands and we will get our little blessing when it is His time. Anyway, until next post...
I took my 100 mg of clomid last night and I haven't had any side effect yet. I was afraid that I would since the dosage was doubled. I had told a few people about my false positive hpt and I'm getting some great support from my friends. I'm especially thankful for my friend Deanne who teaches with me and who goes to my church. She was with me when I got the call about the negative blood test. She came down to my classroom this morning to check on me. She's so sweet! I did tell Joe last night what had gone on with the tests. I really don't think he was really disappointed or anything since he didn't have his hopes up to begin with. My sister was super disappointed though! I'm doing fine about it. I was disappointed, but I prepared myself and didn't want to get too excited until I had a positve blood test. Anway, let's hope I don't have bad side effects with the rest of my clomid!
I did start having some side effects from my clomid today--pretty much the same as before. The blurry feeling vision is not great, but it will be well worth it if I get my bfp! I haven't had a hot flash yet though. I started seeing some cm today that was kind of sticky/creamy looking. I know that's gross, but we're supposed to observe that anyway. Hopefully it will progress to eggwhite looking in a week or so. Joe and I had sex two nights ago and hopefully will tonight too. The past couple of cycles he's had a problem with bding when we're supposed to--he can get it up, but he has a problem ejaculating--tmi I know. Anyway, he has OCD and I think he just thinks about it too much and he's only focussig on making a baby and not also making love. It's been very frustrating for me, but I try not to get too upset because that doesn't help matters. I'm not going to tell him when I'm supposed to ovulate this time so he won't think about it too much. He may get suspicious though when I want to bd a lot--he knows I'm not a big fan of sex. Anyway, I'm just praying that I ovulate this month!
By the way, I don't know why the picture of my dogs is so big on these journal pages--on my normal message board posts, it's not that big. Let me know if there's something I could do to fix it.
In my last post I made the comment about the picture of my dogs. When I check my posts at home it is huge, but when I'm at work, the picture is small like it should be. Anyway, just disreguard my comments about the picture.
Also, Joe and I didn't bd last night because I was super tired and went to sleep at 9 while he went to Lowes and Walmart. Oh well, I shouldn't be ovulating right now anyway.
I've finished my 3rd round of clomid now--at 100 mg. I don't think the side effects were as bad as my cycles on 50 mg. I did have some blurry vision and some very short and mild hot flashes, but I don't think they were quite as bad as before--and they really weren't that bad then.
I'm a little frustrated with some ttc products I've ordered. I order a bbt on ebay and it's taking forever to come in. Meanwhile, I'm just using my regular digital thermometer. Hopefully, it's acurate enough. I also ordered 100 ovulation test strips on ebay. I'm hoping they'll be acurate, but who knows when you order them that way. They are a lot cheaper. On FertilityFriend.com I've seen pictures of "internet test strips" that people use, so hopefully they are alright. I'm waiting for them to come in too. My cycle started sooner than I expected this month so I'm getting this stuff a little late.
I bought an $12 dollar pack of Answer ovulation sticks at Walmart today to use until I get the others. I did one test at 4:25 today and it was negative. I'm predicting I'll ovulate on Thursday, so we'll see. I read that it's more accuate to check ovulation in the afternoons rather than in the morning, so that's what I'll be doing.
Joe and I did bd last night with no problem. I'm hoping to do it everyday this week, or at least every other day. My temperatures are going fine. I did have a pretty big temp. dip today after a good rise yesterday. I'll see what it does tomorrow.
My temperature stayed the same today as yesterday, so that's okay I guess. I took another ovulation test today at about 4:30 pm and it was negative like the one yesterday. However, I started having watery cm today. This is the first time I've ever noticed watery cm. When I first started reading about all of the fertility signs I was perplexed about watery cm. I knew what sticky, creamy, and eggwhite cm was like, but I had never noticed watery cm before. I don't know if I've just never had it much--since I don't usually ovulate, or if I just never noticed before. That's a really good sign though!! My cm has really progressed like it should. After AF, I had a day of sticky cm, then several days of creamy cm, and now today the watery kind. Hopefully, it will turn to eggwhite soon, and hopefully, Joe and I will bd tonight. We didn't last night, but that's okay. Anyway, I guess that's about all for now. Until next time...
I'm still having the watery cm. I thought it was going away yesterday because I didnt' feel any until I actually checked in my cervix. Today, I've had a lot though that came out on its own. I took another ovulation test today, like I have in the past few days, and it was soooooo close to positive! It was just a hair lighter than the control line. Hopefully, it will be positive tomorrow. I'm not sure if I should I should take anoth opk in the morning or if I should do it tomorrow afternoon. I know they say to take them in the afternoon, but the one I did today was so close that I'm thinking it might show positive in the morning. Either way, we'll see how my temperature goes tomorrow anyway.
I haven't written in a while, but I've got a second right now. My cycle sucks I think. I thought it was going really well at first, but then it went weird on me. My temps are up and down and I don't see a pattern that shows I ovulated. Last week I really had a problem with my temp. because I kept waking up during the middle of the night. I'm in Washinton, DC right now for a conference for school, so who knows what will happen. I'm still having cm, so who the heck knows. I had my progesterone check done Friday, so I should hear back tomorrow or Tuesday. I doubt I ovulate, but maybe I'll be surprised. I hate ttc!!! I just ordered the Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor, so hopefully it will make it easier to see ovulation if I do ovulate. That's all for now; I've gotta run!
I'm still in Washington, DC today--we're going home on Thursday. Anyway, I called and got my progesterone level today and it was between a 1 and a 2--that is so horrible, and obviously I didn't ovulate. I'm wondering if I'm going to though. Today I had a ton of eggwhite cm that I haven't really had before. There were a couple of days when I thought I some earlier in the cycle, and maybe I did, but it was just a tad. Today there was a lot and it was definitely stretchy. I also had some creamy cm today. What sucks, though, is that if I ovulate within the next few days I'm away from Joe! Oh well. If that happens, I guess I'm not meant to get pregnant this cycle. Maybe it will hold off until the end of the week when I'll be back. I took an ovulation test yesterday and today and they were both negative, so that's a good sign that maybe it will hold off a little longer. I didn't take my temperature this morning because I woke up off and on all night and it just wouldn't have been acurate this morning. Hopefully, I'll sleep better tonight and I can take it in the morning. That way I can see a temp. drop or rise if I do ovulate soon. Anyway, we'll see what happens...