I'm back home now, but I think I'm coming down with a cold. I've taken an opk everyday this week, but they've all been negative. I'm having lots of cm but I'm not sure how to classify it. It's really stretchy, but it's white--so I guess that's creamy. I don't know, but I had a huge temp. drop yesterday and and huge spike this morning. We'll see if it looks like I'm Oing. If I did O yesterday it doesn't matter because we didn't have sex because I was totally wiped out from my trip. I thought my Clearblue Easy fertility monitor would have come by now, but it hasn't. I hope it shows by the time I have AF.
The last week of my ovulation journey has been interesting. On FF it said that I O'd on day 26 of my cycle. I was pretty excited, even though I figured there wasn't much chance of pregnancy due to my trip. Well, several days went by and then this morning it took my ovulation away. I guess my temps just didn't stay up like they should have. I been having some crampy feelings in the last day or two. I'm wondering if it's AF coming. I've also had some pain in my lower back on the right side. I don't know what it is--hopefully, it's not another kidney stone. My Clearblue Easy Fertility Monitor came in today!! Yeah!! Now, I just need a period to start it. Oh well, we'll see.
I don't think AF is coming on its own. Today is day 37 in my cycle and I haven't ovulated. I'm starting provera tonight for five days to bring on AF so I can start another round of clomid-100mg. This will be my 4th round of clomid-the 2nd at 100 mg. Maybe it will work this time. The good thing is that I'll be using my fertility monitor now. I hope I ovulate and everything goes well this cycle. At this point, I just want to ovulate even if I don't get pregnant immediately. I'm getting pretty depressed about all of this. When I started the clomid the first time, I thought I would handle ttc without it bothering me emotionally. Well, I was wrong. It is very draining. If I just knew I would get pregnant, I might withstand it a little more. I'm just so afraid I won't ever get pregnant. I'm totally fine with adoption, and might like to adopt even if we have biological children, but I've recently had some conversations with my parents and I'm very hurt that they seem totally against that idea. I guess there's no use fretting over that now because we're not to that crossroads yet anyway. Hopefully I'll have AF in 10 days or so and we'll get this next cycle rolling....
Well, FF gave me an O date again today--the put it back on the 26th. My temps have gone back up--especially today's temp. I wonder if taking the provera is making my temp go up. Who knows. I have taken hpts everyday lately and they are all negative. The thing about my chart is that the temps since the supposed O are not a ton higher than the pre-O ones. I dont' know; maybe I just didn't have a strong O and the progesterone is low. My doctor didn't want to do another progesterone check even after I told them I thought I O'd. I think it's because if I says I O'd then they don't feel it necessary to check. I'd like a more involved doctor who specializes in pcos and/or fertility, but I would have to drive to Atlanta to see someone like that. With teaching and all, I just don't have the time nor the energy to do all of that at this point. I'll just pray that I get pregnant soon or at least O for sure where it's obvious to us all
I took Provera to bring on AF, and I think she'll be here Wednesday. I'm unhappy about that because it's the day before Thanksgiving and we're going to Nashville--that won't be fun with AF. Anyway, I'm just ready to start this next cycle so I can use my fertility monitor.
AF spotting did start on Wenesday with regular AF beginning on Thanksgiving. It was managable, unlike what I experienced Fri. and Sat. It's been a long time since I had AF so heavy. Anway, it has stopped now except for a tad bit of spotting this afternoon. I took my first test with my fertility monitor this morning. I hope it's accurate and works to help us see when I'm fertile. I'm charting my temps in the mornings too. I think I will do the regular OPKs in the afternoons when I get home just to double check things. I bought the cheap internet ones so it hardly costs anything. Let's pray that this cycle goes well and we conceive our little miracle!
Well, this cycle isn't going as well as I hoped. I'm 15 days in now, and no O yet. Every monitor test has been low and every opk has been neg. I did have creamy cm today though--it's the only kid of cm I've had since AF this cycle. I was just hoping to O by day 14 because I was hoping to get a bfp by Christmas, but it's not looking that way so far. I'm really down about things right now. My husband struggles with some depression, add, and ocd (not severe) and it really gets me down sometimes. Lately, he's been depressed/moody and I try not to let it bother me, but it does. He's tried various meds., but he doesn't like any of the side effects so he's not taking anything now. He also doesn't want to since we're ttc. I just don't know. Sometimes I just feel like giving up.
Well, this post will be more upbeat than my last depressing one. I continued to have low readings on my fertility monitor until this morning and the reading was HIGH!!! I was so excited. I jumped back into bed and told Joe that we were baby making tonight! He was too asleep to care, I think. Ha Ha! Hopefully, we'll continue with the high readings for a few days and/or jump to peak readings and I'll ovulate. I'm figuring that if I O by Monday (18th) I'll get a pregnancy result by the time our 4 year anniversary comes around on the 28th and we have family visiting on the 29th. I wouldn't know in time for Christmas, but hopefully I could get a blood test in time to give Joe a tremendous anniversary present. If we do get pregnant and I know by the 29th, I'm going to do something really cool to tell all of our family members at once. Maybe something like "save-the-date" cards for my due date (Save the date for September ?, 2007 when you become a grandmother, uncle, etc.) I think that would be really cute. Joe and I are going to Ruth's Chris for our ann. and it's really swanky--it would be so romantic to tell him then. Anyway, I'm just hoping and dreaming. If anyone's reading this, keep us in your prayers!
Today makes three days now that I've gotten a high reading on my fertility monitor!! My gut feeling is that I'll O on Sunday the 17th. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get a peak reading on the monitor. From comparing this cycle with my last cycle, they are extremely similar. This cycle seems to be one day ahead of my last one. Last month I O'd on day 26 according to FF so this time I think I'll O on day 25, which will be Sunday. Well, we'll see how it goes. I really hope and pray for a Christmas miracle!!
Well, life sucks at the moment. I'm really irritated at my fertility monitor! I got high readings 4 days in a row. Then yesterday, I got a low reading! When I did the test, I thought maybe I did something wrong because I did the test with only a night light on. So now, I wonder if the low reading was accurate or if I just didn't get enough urine on the test strip. I thought this morning it would ask me to test just to make sure my hormones were low, but it didn't ask me to test at all. It just gave me an "m" to show that AF could be on it's way--which it's not because I haven't Oed yet! I'm so mad-partly at myself and partly at the monitor. Now all I can do is the opks, and I have the cheapo ones so they may not be accurate. My temp is still low, so maybe I'm Oing today. I'll need to bd tonight and see if I get a much higher temp soon. All I can say is that this really, really sucks!!!!!!!!!