I've been deciding for days if I should start one of these or not, but it seems like a good idea to have all my thought, worries and wishes in one place.
Story so far...
I'm 29, Hubby is 38. Married for almost 5 years. We knew we wanted kids even before we were married but waited to have all our ducks in a row( pay off the car, buy a condo, get health insurance) to start trying. Finally this past June everything fell into place( got that health insurance) and we decided to start TTC.
I made a dr. app. in early July. My menstrual cycle was out of wack for years. First thing dr. said to me( without barely looking at me) was "you're not ovulating". This made me worried but also gave me some hope that I don't have some unusual undiagnosable problem.
Dr. said that I most likely have PCOS , so I had to do some blood tests and U/s. Dr gave me bc pills to restart my period, and he put me on 50mg of Clomid.
That month I had the worst period, I lost so much blood that I passed out and ended up in the emergency room. Of course with all that there was no ovulation that month.
Next month no AF.
So again mid September I go back to dr. office, he gives me some progesterone pills (Prometrium) to start the period, and ups my Clomid to 2 a day.
That month I had a perfect 28 day cycle, with day 16 O.
October was uneventful, so uneventful I didn't even O.
AF didn't show up in November or December.
I took a break from all the dr. app, pills, counting days and peeing on strips over the holidays.
I'm starting anew in a new year. First thing was going to see the dr.
He said my uterus feels enlarged(like in someone who has had children already), so he send me to do pregnancy blood test.
Test came negative ( I knew it would but i was still hoping that maybe I was pregnant ) so I started progesterone pills again for 10 days ( day 5 today, can't wait to finish them , i get so loopy from them), and also I started metformin for my PCOS.
Hopefully this will do it to start ovulating and finally catch one of those eggs.
If not next step is infertility specials.
Hopefully everything will work out and we'll have a little bundle of joy by the end of this year.
The worst part of all this was not all the poking and proding, all the pill taking and their side effect, but lack of understanding of people around me. Everybody is telling me to relax and let it happen. I hate that nobody seems to understand that there is a real problem I'm dealing with and that it is not all in my head. I hate the advice like "oh you need to work on a baby for at least 2 years" from women who have had kids one after the other.
My friends keep announcing their pregnancies, and it's such a source of conflict for me. On one hand I am so happy and excited for them, but that dark side in me gets so jealous and almost mad. Why them and not me? It's hard not having anybody to talk about it. Every time I bring it up I get either "don't worry. it will happen" or " don't feel that way.it's not good for you". I still haven"t mastered that "don't feel that way" part, it's like trying not to feel hungry when you haven't had anything to eat in 3 days.
In any case, I am trying to be positive, I take my medication, I drink my "fertility tea"(cinnamon and mint-my boss swears by it), I take my vitamins and have fun with my hubby
2010 is our baby year