Hi there! Thanks for peeking at my TTC journal! Hope you enjoy this journey with me!!
Some background on me and my DH before you get into my TTC journals:
Me: 21 (almost 22) years old
DH: 22 years old
Last Depo shot: Jan 05
Skipped Depo shot: April 25, 2005
US Air Force Family!
The following is a post I made in an online journal elsewhere, and then thanks to Amy (AFrenzFan) I realized I can just start my own TTC journal here! So my first post is a copy and paste from somewhere else, but here goes!
I never thought I'd say this, but I WANT MY PERIOD!!!! LOL, I know that sounds crazy, but I cannot wait for my cycles to get regular so I can start TTC with my darling husband! It seems like when you really want something, it takes forever to get to you. But I think I can try to be patient. I guess I don't have a choice anyway, do I?
I have registered on pregnancy.org, and now that we are going to be actively TTC, I have started posting too. There's a user called AFrenzFan, and I really enjoyed her pregnancy journals! She ended up having a very difficult C-Section birth, though. But anyway, she had a beautiful little girl named Natalia Jolie. So it was all worth it. I want to start to PM her occassionally, so I can keep in touch with her. For some reason, I really identify with her. I think it's because she is a young mom and she seems to have a really good relationship with her husband.
I have also decided to get more involved in the community to start meeting more people. I have a core group of friends, but I think it'll start to stagnate now that I'm not working, and am not meeting new people. I signed up for an online yahoo group of military wives on Mountain Home AFB! It seems pretty cool, but you have to be authorized to gain membership, and I haven't yet gotten an authorization. Hopefully the moderator hasn't abandoned ship! The group seems to be posting messages though, so it should be active. Who knows what's going on with that?
But besides that, I have decided to become more active in my church. I think I am going to start going to a women's bible study at night. I called the lady who's in charge of it and left her a message. I am also going to start volunteering on base, preferably at the Gunfighter's Attic a few times a week, and then once a week when I am in school. I think that'll be a good way to meet other wives too.
I watched this really cool video on pbs.org called Life's Greatest Miracle. It was so fascinating to see how a baby is made! They actually had photographs of the egg and the sperm, and the inside of the uterus and everything. And at the end, it showed how a woman gave birth vaginally. That was kind of scary, but also really cool! It didn't look nearly as terrifying as I thought it might. The woman also had a natural birth, so she was screaming and that made it sadder. But all in all, a very good series of videos. I recommend that to anyone who is TTC for the first time!
Well, I better go blowdry my hair now! See ya later!
Okay, so I know it's still the same day and you're supposed to wait a day between journal entries but so what? :P
I am so excited! Tim and I had decided at first that we were going to wait until next spring to start TTC. But then as the months progressed, we started getting more and more impatient (me more than him!). So we moved the date to the end of this year. And now we're just taking it as it goes, and it's all up to my O and how regular that is. So it could be as soon as 3 months, from what I've been reading! My periods were pretty regular before I got on the Depo, and since I only had two shots, I should be getting my fertility back pretty soon. I cannot wait to be pregnant! It is going to be a fun ride!
I am really for the first time since we've been married, starting to see a difference between Tim and I. I guess for men, it isn't really *real* until it's happening, whereas for women, just the *dream* of having a baby makes it real! I am sooo excited about this, and have to browse in the baby section and look at baby clothes at every dept store, but Tim is more like, "We'll do that when we're pregnant." I mean, he loves talking about what our kids will be like, and what kind of stroller we'll get, and all that sorta stuff, but as far as baby clothes and other things, he's more removed than I am. It's just so interesting to see. And I am so glad he's not one of those husbands that just freak out when they hear their wives talking about babies! That would be quite a problem, because that's a lot of what I talk about nowadays!
That's another thing too; I try so hard not to let this consume me. If I'm already like this and AF hasn't even come yet, I can just imagine what I'll be like when we do have a chance of getting pregnant! I don't want to become an obsessive wife/mother-to-be, and I really don't want to pressure Tim. I am just so ready to shower a baby with love and attention!! I think we'll make great parents!
*Edited To Add*: I just went over to the Women's Health Clinic at the base hospital, and they had a ton of brochures for me to take with me! This is so exciting!
Yay, I feel so happy! I just talked with my friend Rachel (she has two kids, and I really wanted to tell her we're TTC, but she was out of town), and now she knows! She is excited for us! I loved speaking with her about this because she has one of each - a boy and a girl, and for the first one she didn't find out the sex of the baby and for the second one she did. So it's a perfect mix of everything she's been through! And she's really sweet, and great to talk to, not to mention! I also spoke with my other friend Tabitha who I hadn't spoke with forever, and we are getting together next Saturday or Sunday to do something. I really connect with her, and I am also planning on telling her we're going to be TTC! I know she'll be really surprised! She's known me through my baby aversion days!
Tomorrow I am going to my women's study group at church. The lady who's in charge of it called me back, and she seems really nice! I can't wait to meet the other ladies. It'll be so much fun!
Wow, my third post of the day! I'm addicted! LOL!
LOL, I really love reading Mrs.J4's TTC journal. She's a hoot! I totally understand what she's going through, though. Right now I am tearing my hair out about AF! I want her to come visit me! Then we can FINALLY start BD'ing with a chance of actually getting pg! Right now it just seems like we're practicing, LOL.
Well, I went by WalMart last night to check out their prenatal vitamin collection. They had something called OneSource, but I wasn't really sure whether to buy it or not, since I had never heard that brand name. Apparently, as the awesome ladies on the TTC 0-12 mos board have told me, a generic brand is as good as any. When I go in for my preconception checkup, I'll ask if I need to up my intake or change the pills, or if I can continue on. But for now I think I'll just stick to the generic stuff.
I have to go take another urine test at the Lab today. I hate that stuff! I just keep reminding myself it's all for a good cause, though, so that the baby and I can have a happy and healthy 9 months! I hope that it's just generic high blood pressure, and not kidney disease or anything super serious like that. I had to roll my eyes yesterday when I went to the Women's Health Clinic and the technician there was showing me all the brochures they had available. I reached for the one that said, "High Blood Pressure During Pregnancy" and said, "I'll definitely need this one." She looked at what brochure I had, and said, "Ooh, that's not good!" Gee, thanks, I feel much better about it now! Anyway, I have been doing all the things the doctor said including eating regular meals, drinking a lot of water, and not doing any cardio for now.
As far as TTC, DH doesn't drink alcohol anyway, but I've stopped all of my alcohol intake.
**TMI Alert**: We also have stopped using KY Jelly (to form the habit) , and DH is only wearing boxers now (yay! I think boxers are so much sexier than briefs anyway!). Now once AF comes back I am going to have to convince him to stop taking super hot baths! That is not going to be easy. That man loves his baths! But as supportive as he is, I am sure after a little fussing he'll see the light. After all, I am making major changes to my diet and lifestyle too!
Well here I am, back to post again. Oh, the insanity of wanting to be a mommy!! But it was so cute, Tim is just as excited as me! Apparently, he has told everyone at work that we want to have a baby! I found out by a total fluke. We were at our friend's house (he's Tim's coworker, and our friend) yesterday, and they were talking about deployments (the one not so great thing about the Air Force), and our friend said to Tim, "Aren't you on the deployment list for Jan 2006?" And Tim said, "Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to be going", and our friend goes, "Why, are you having a baby?" I thought he said that because another one of Tim's coworkers got out of a deployment this time because his wife is having a baby the same week that he was supposed to go. So I just laughed and stroked my belly and said, "Yes, yes we are." Well, Rob just looked at me like he didn't understand what was so funny. So it started to dawn on me that maybe he knew something! I asked Tim about it later, and sure enough, he told everyone in the NCC about it!! LOL! And he says it isn't real to him yet! He's even been telling me share with everyone. I just don't want to be hassled with people asking, "Are you pg yet" every ten minutes! But Tim says that people we consider friends wouldn't really say that to us. And I guess he's right. And anyway, I don't think I can keep this from people for very long anyway!
Aarrrghhh. This morning I woke up and was almost sure I was going to start my period. I had cramps, and I had that 'feeling'. So Tim and I went on a walk to try and speed things along (exercising always brings AF quicker, and since I can't do any cardio, this was the closest I could come to exercising). But that didn't do a thing. In fact, I still have slight cramping but feel less like AF is coming than I did before. Blahhhhh. I hope I get it within the week! That would be so great!
I also started taking my prenatals today. Slight nausea, but nothing major. Yay!!!! This is so exciting! I am so ready to be a mommy-to-be!
I am meeting up with another military wife today, who also lives on base (in fact, she lives one street down from us!). She has a 7 month old baby, so I am excited to see how I interact with him/her! I haven't been around a young baby in a while, except for Rachel's son. I also think it will dial up the baby craziness quite a few notches, but oh well! I will come back to update!
Oh my God, she has the cutest kids!! Her little one is the sweetest, gentlest baby I have ever laid my eyes on! And soooo pretty, too! I want one!!!!! I am sure it will happen for us when the time is right, though, so I just have to be patient. Meanwhile, still no sign of AF. That witch.
It was sad because Tim had a little farewell dinner for his friends that are deploying to the desert tonight. It was touching, because this afternoon we were with one of the guys, and he was talking about this air purifyer that he got that works wonders for his allergies and really makes the air so clean. Well, Tim and I were saying how we needed one because our allergies are so bad, and we asked him how much it was. He said about $400! And we just laughed and said that was a leeetle out of our budget right now. Well, after they had dinner, he gives Tim the air purifyer and asks him to 'take care' of it for him while he's gone! That was so touching and sad at the same time. I really hope they come home safe. It's especially touching because they don't have any family around here (they're single) and Tim and I really think of them as being under our wing, so to speak. But at least he got to say goodbye.
I read the most interesting article in Discovery magazine yesterday at the library while I was waiting for my fax to go through. I didn't get to read all of it, though (when the librarian yelled, "Ma'am? Your fax went through!" I just jumped and closed the magazine, dammit), so I'll have to go back and make a copy to read at home.
Anyway, it was about determining the sex of your baby. There are a lot of ways that haven't been scientifically proven, like having sex in certain positions, or having sex during certain times in relation to ovulation, but apparently now they're finding out that a large percentage of women who have girls are physically weaker or thinner than women who have boys. This is because weak women have weaker babies, and if weak women had boys, they might never go procreate, and therefore, the species wouldn't live on. But if weaker women have girls, the girls will definitely have at least one or two children therefore helping the species to live on. And actually, they tested this out on animals first and then switched the study to humans. It turns out it's the same in humans too. Also they noticed that for whatever reason, women with weaker upper arms tend to have more girls! Also single working women in America have more girls than married women in America. I thought that was all so cool! Looks like I'll be having a girl, because I am the wimpiest of the wimpy.
*Warning: Whiny Post*
Well, Mother's Day was crappy. We went to church, and all around us were these sweet little newborns with their happy, glowing moms and dads. I wanted to cry! I went to Bunko last night and there were a ton of kids there too. It was so sad. I am getting really frustrated that we can't even start to try, even though we are ready, because of the stupid Depo messing with my system! I am never ever going back on Depo again! I just really hope it hasn't messed with my fertility for good. I have been reading some scary stuff about women who were on Depo for a long time (years) who can't get pregnant and need to take drugs and other fertility treatments! I am so glad I only got two shots before I decided to stop. But when oh when will AF come pay me a visit????
Another really weird thing that happened to me was that I woke up with a horrible back and stomach ache early Saturday morning. Tim and I decided to sleep on the couch (we're dorks, we do that for fun sometimes! ), and Kaylee, our 6 lb pomeranian mix was sleeping on my tummy (which was already a little sore from what I am guessing are Depo-leaving-my-system cramps; I still have those). Well, I woke up at about 3:30 AM with an awful deep muscle ache all over! My sides were killing me, and so was my stomach and my back! I felt like I was going to cry with the pain. So I took four Motrin and walked around until it eased up a little and then I tried to go back to sleep on the bed. It was absolute agony. I don't know if that was from the couch, or Kaylee laying on me, or my cramps or a combination of all three, but it was bad. I am still having periodic back pains and stomach/hip cramping which feel mysteriously like O pains! Gotta love getting off birth control. Anyway, I am hoping AF will come visit by the end of May! I really want to be able to get excited about, "Is this the month??" And all that jazz.