Thread: Here We Go!!!!

The ladies on the TTC 0-12 months forum have convinced me to POAS! I have been having a lot of weird symptoms, very pg-like. I've been reading online though, and apparently it seems that going off Depo gives a lot of people those types of symptoms. So I am going to POAS and rule out pg. I have a doctor's appt on May 18 anyway, where they will probably put me on high BP meds so I will definitely need to know by then.
So the e.p.t. is sitting in my bathroom drawer right now! I ran to the BX in pouring rain so I could get it (okay, not ran, drove :P ), and then I realized I just peed before I left so of course I have a long wait ahead of me now. I hope Tim doesn't come home before I can pee! I want to be able to tell him either way. If by some miracle it does turn out to be a BFP, I'll go insane with waiting! But then again, I do want to surprise him, so maybe it would give me time to think.
On the plus side, even if this one turns out to be a BFN, I am O-ing today! So I am guessing all the pains in my side were O pains. I am SO EXCITED!!!! We are *finally* going to start making love with a chance of making a baby!!!!!! Can't wait to BD! The ladies have been telling me that if you O, you can still get pg even without AF making her presence known. Maybe I'll get pregnant this cycle!!!!!
I will come back later to post on how my ept turned out. Bye!

Well, like I thought, it turned out to be a BFN. But I only felt a pinprick of disappointment because it didn't really add up that I would be pregnant, so I wasn't really expecting it. But on the positive side, Tim and I BD'd today for the FIRST time with an actual chance of getting pregnant!!!! I am soooo excited!! I have a feeling we might not get pregnant till September (just a strong feeling I have), but at least I know that now we have the chance to become pregnant! I can actually watch for the signs! It's so exciting and also so scary! Tim was saying how BD'ing today felt different to him. It was great, we felt so close to each other.

I am so excited!! I was sleeping last night, and woke up to see that I had my arms wrapped around my stomach. I am already in 'pregnancy' mode. I find myself unconsciously touching my stomach to see if I feel a baby being made in there! I am silly, I know.
When I was younger, I had thought I definitely wanted a girl. After babysitting the sweetest little boy two years ago, and then his baby brother, I decided I wanted a boy. I don't know anymore! Looking at all the baby pictures on the baby boards on this website are making me drool!! I guess I really wouldn't mind either! Just as long as it's a baby and it's Tim's and mine. Tim wants twins! He is so cute; he was asking me yesterday what we can do to increase our chances of having twins. I was like, "Woah, mister!" LOL. I don't know if I can handle two babies!!! But I am sure if God blessed us with twins, we would be the happiest parents in the world anyway!

Well, well, well. I am moving up in the world! Somehow I have gone from being a mere 'contributor' on this website to being a 'supporter'. Woo hoo!! I guess I spend wayyyy too much time on here!
We BD'd again last night! It was fun! I can't wait for this 2ww to pass! I have a feeling I won't be pregnant this time, but Tim was saying he has a feeling we're going to get pregnant really quick. I think he was impressed that I was O'ing so soon after coming off Depo. LOL.
Last night I had all these weird nightmares of people who wanted to hurt me/Tim/our baby. It was really odd, but I am sure it was brought on because I was thinking about having a baby and how I would need to protect him/her from everyone and everything evil in this world. Tim and I were talking (I think we were talking about abusive babysitters), and he was like, "I swear, if anyone does anything to ever hurt our kid, I will beat the s*it out of them." I said, "Baby, if anyone ever did anything really bad to our kid, I will kill them." Then we looked at each other and he laughed and said, "Wow, we sound like such violent people." And we're really not, I promise! I think when it comes to your children, you feel like you would do anything to not see them get hurt. Tim and I have had very close contact with this scenario in our lives, so I think we are just extra sensitive about it.
We were talking more about moving back east when he gets out of the Air Force (less than 3 years to go - woo hoo!), and we would like to move within 2-3 hours of his family. I said I would like to have a ready babysitter (lol!) so that we can go take mini-breaks without having to trust our baby to a total stranger like we would have to do here. Also, I think it'll be nice for the grandparents to be able to watch our baby grow, and spend time with him/her. I am sad that they might miss upto two years of the baby! I am sure they will be flying here a lot, but still. They can't afford to fly out every month or two months. It'll have to be via videos and pictures. And that's sad, because I know they'll want to be involved.
Anyway, I better go get my lunch started. Tim made shrimp scampi - yum!!!! I am so glad he is such a great cook, or we'd have Ramen noodles every day!

Wow, I don't know if it's the Depo leaving my body or AF coming, but along with bad (mestrual-type) cramps, I am also having really scary/weird dreams! It's so odd, like today in my dream, an alien from a planet called Judas was introducing herself to me. She said she was half human and half alien, and that's why she looked 'exotic'. Okayyyy....
Anyway, I am guessing my O didn't take because of the cramps. Oh well, I am only slightly disappointed because I didn't expect it to happen so soon for us after I got off Depo. AF should be here soon, though, and then I can start O'ing for real!
Tim is soooo cute!! He's been asking the guys at work who have kids how their wives were when they were pregnant, etc. He was also telling me a story about a guy in his squadron who has twins, and he was saying how they sound soooo cute, etc. He really won't let the twin thing go, will he? I am so excited that he's so excited! Most guys don't start getting excited about it until their wife is actually pregnant (and sometimes not even then!). This is great!

Wow. I just got done reading 'Taking Charge of your Fertility' by Toni Weschler, and it is such a great book! I have learned sooooo much about my own body that I didn't know!!
Here's a summary of all that I've learned:

1. I did not O, as I thought I did. Turns out women getting off birth control often go through 'patches' where they have sticky CF (I have decided to also call it Cervical Fluid, as it is so much more palatable than Cervical Mucus, lol). While it is not necessarily infertile, sticky CF is also not the most conducive to helping sperm survive, so we probably did not make a baby this past week. But that's okay, at least I know what the heck is going on now!

2. Charting is a lot easier than it looks! I actually think I have a pretty good handle on it now, just from reading about it. Teri says that women who have just come off the Pill (and other methods of birth control like Depo) can chart, but obviously our cycle days will not correspond to those on the chart. But it's still a good way to see what our temps are doing, if they are predictable, and if we do O at all. It'll be a good way for me to get some practice too.

3. The 3 best ways to determine if you are in your 'fertile' time are: Cervical Fluid (slippery and clear/streaked is best, next is creamy, after that sticky or gummy or crumbly, and last is dry), Basal Body Temperature, and Cervical Position. The last one is optional, but can be used in conjunction with the other two to support the 'evidence'.

4. The Shettles method is so far the method that has the most scientific credibility. It basically helps you choose the gender of your baby. You have a 80-85% chance of conceiving a boy if the method is used correctly, and a 75-80% chance of having a girl if the method is used correctly.
The way to have a boy is to wait as close to the ovulation date as possible. Do it the day before, the day of and the day after.
For a girl, do it 4-2 days before, and hold off during O.

I am so amazed! I feel so much more relieved, and this whole TTC thing doesn't seem so scary or steeped in mystery (the bad kind) anymore!! Yay!! I've gotta go post on the boards about this!

Okay, I am back after a LOOOOONG hiatus!! Tim and I had talked, and with me starting a new semester at school, we had decided to hold off TTC for a little while. It was already going to be so stressful that we decided it wouldn't do any good to add this on top of everything else (and I was already so obsessed with it!). Anyway, so I ended up getting a job at the mall, and going to school, and I made an appt with my OB to get birth control pills, since it's been two months since I got off the Depo. Well, I took 3 pills, and then I started to have really weird pg-like symptoms! So I took two tests, and they both turned out to be BFN's. And that made me really disappointed! When Tim found out how I felt, he was like, "So why are you taking the bcp's if you still want to have a baby?" And I just looked at him and said, "I don't know." It was funny, because when I said, I might be pregnant he got all happy and made me high-five him, although we had decided to hold off for a while. He is so cute! He really wants to be a dad. And he'd be so good at it! I guess I'll hold off on the BCP's for now and see if my cycles can regulate themselves on their own. Because right now there is no chance I can get pg. I don't have the CF. Anyway, I'll be back to update!

Okay, my body has got to stop messing with my head! Last night I noticed EW CF and this morning I checked my cervix and it's doing the SHOW thing! Does that mean I can actually get pg?? Of course Tim and I BD'd this morning, but I am utterly confused. Some days it seems like there is no way in h*ll I can get pg until my period starts again, and some days it's weird like today. I also had possible O pain early this morning! My OB says there's a chance I could still get pg, so I am not giving up hope entirely! It's just so frustrating to not know what's going on with your own body. There is no way I am going back on Depo, ever!! But I am still cautiously happy... Of course I am, if we don't have hope, we don't have much else, do we?? Look at me, getting all philosophical! Well, I better go get ready for work!

Well, I have good news!! I started my period yesterday! This is day 2, and if I bleed/spot all day today as well, I'm going to start charting tomorrow! Woo hoo!! FINALLY, it's here!! It was so funny, because I was helping with opening the store yesterday, and when I was vaccuming the carpet, I felt like I was going to pass out! My stomach started hurting and I got really hot and dizzy. Well, I went to the bathroom because I felt weird 'down there', and sure enough, I was spotting! Thankfully my period didn't start until I got home though. Now I'm back to spotting/intermittently bleeding. According to the fertility book, I can start charting now! Alright! It feels so weird, I have waited two months for this, and just as I was giving up hope of getting my period before the fall, this happens! Just goes to show ya, you never know. My OB told me it would take between 3-6 months, especially since my period had stopped as soon as I got on the Depo. So glad he was mistaken in my case.

I told Tim I was excited my period started because now we could actually start to notice my other fertility signs and have a chance of getting pg! Lately I've just been feeling like I'm wasting my time at work or with school - like I need to be spending more time with the people I love, doing things I love. I think I am just sooo ready to be a mom, it's killing me that I have to be surrounded by people I don't even really care about when I could be with my husband and baby. Yup, I'm definitely going to be a stay-at-home mom. Tim feels the same way I do, thank goodness, that we should raise our own child versus someone else doing it for us. And we get to find out in August whether or not he made Staff!! I am so excitedl; I am sure he made it! Nobody deserves it more than him. And with us planning a family, we could definitely use the extra moolah! But even if he doesn't, we'll still be okay, and we'll still be happy and healthy and in love, and that's what counts.
Life is good!

Congratulations, Mrs. J4!!!!! She's finally got her BFP!!!!! I am so happy!!!
It's great how attached you become to other people's lives. I want all the other ladies on the TTC 0-12 mos board to get BFP's just as badly as I want mine! I love the camaraderie (or however you spell that freakin' word! ).
Anyway, there's further cause for rejoicing as well! I am still on my period, so I can start charting my temperature tomorrow!! I already started a chart on FF, but it doesn't have my temps on it yet, just the fact that yesterday was CD 1 and today's CD 2. Can't wait to be able to predict what my body's going to do!!
Well, I'm going to go pamper myself a little bit now... it's been a loooong day! Bye!