Hoping for a little one soon!

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Hoping for a little one soon!

July 3 2003

DH and I had not even gotten married yet when we both expressed that we wanted children. The idea was for me to "adjust" to Belgium before we got pregnant so that we knew I was confortable here. Well, confort came too soon and so the baby itch. After only 4 months of marriage we stopped BCP and we are hoping to conceive our first jelly bean!

We fell in love instantly, we had been in contact before due to work but only by phone and email, he came to Miami after a couple of months to meet me and that was it! In a way it scared me a little bit that this man was so eager and loving, he talked about family and morals and conduct and his background dispate the distance and the language and different cutlures, was almost the same as mine. It is unbelievable how we can connect and understand each other. We got married after 9 months of having met!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

July 4 2003

Living in Belgium has been nice, slowly but steadily adjusting to the language(s), to the weather, to the new lifestyle, the culture. Family life is great, I have been blessed with wonderful parents in law, who at times tend to be a bit nosey, but they help out a lot and teach me a lot.

There are cases though that I feel utterly frustrated, for example going to the doctor. I go to the family doctor, who really doesn't speak english and I really don't speak french :? confusing?? to say the least! Fortunatelly, my gyno studied in the US and is quite fluent in English. I feel frustrated at work also, due to my non-french speaking skills I have been forced to take a lower position, which is sometimes driving me nuts.

I would like to further ellaborate on last comment - Belgium law is as follows, you have a 6 month trial period before you sign a contract with a company (no at-will employees here), and after you are hired you have all benefits immediately. Now, obviously these benefits include 3 months maternity leave plus a 3 month extension if desired. I have been job hunting for the past 5 months but with no further lulck. At this point, finding another job means halting TTC for 6 months!!!! :roll: I am goint nuts because 1, I do not enjoy what I do, 2, I am not sure I will sign a contract, 3, I do not find an adequate job, 4, I do not wish to stop TTC.

We really don't need my job, however, it is always nice to have another income, plus, I cannot stay home, I would just get too lonely and desperate as the only people I really know here are my parents in law and I still don't know my way around so well. :x

On a lighter note and totally unrelated, today is my 6month wedding anniversary, how time flies when you are having fun!!! I would have loved to give DH a BFP today but according to FF I am only 6 DPO and waiting either for AF or to test in a week. I do have some PMS disconfort, so maybe next month!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

July 7 2003

Had a wonderful 6 month celebration, when I got home DH has arranged with PIL to set up the dinner table and surprise me this flowers and a delicious dinner. It was so sweet and special, we talked and talked and talked. The weekend went kind of fast and uneventul, better yet, relaxing. I woke up early every morning and took a 3 or 4 hour nap both Saturday and Sunday, dealing with pre-AF disconfort. I am depressed about this bit, I could have sworn we could get pg this month, my temps were on the rise, but I have ALL AF signs coming my way. I do not feel anything different other than I am sad.

I begin to understand the dissapointment of BFN, you put so much effort and care into taking your temp, analysing CM and all the rest, I have this feeling sometimes it should be guaranteed that you could get pg - but nature has other plans apparently.

Also, I am beginning to believe my mother about NOT getting pregnant when you are "expecting" it, who knows :?: , maybe by thinking so much about it, thus creating stress I do block the possibilities. It is true that I NEED to relax, and probably that is why I slept so much this weekend.

Anyway, here comes a new week and if AF doesn't show up this Friday, I will test ...... :goofy:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

July 8, 2003

A few months ago I was feeling quite dizzy and achy, specially in my stomach. After a couple of visits to the family doctor, the gyno, and the gastro, they concluded I was nervous and needed to relax. That the stress of moving to a new country and adapting to the new culture, being away from family, and trying to find my place here was all stressful, so I went along with their diagnose and started feeling better.

I went back home to visit the family and came back 2 weeks ago. Maybe it is psycological, but the symptoms are beginning again. I wake up at 5 am with a sharp stomach pain, at times I feel queasy, at times dizzy, and I don't know what to think anymore. I am afraid to tell someone as they will immediately tell me it is my nerves, but I am almost sure there is something wrong. I cannot be feeling this way just because I am stressed. There is one thing different that may be affecting me - the water - I have found that it has TONS of sediments. I use tap water to clean the veggies, to cook and for tea - could this be making me sick? Any abnormality should show on a blood test I would imagine.

On the other hand, it is true that these past days I have felt more than out of place at work :roll: , and I have been a bit disappointed because my temps have dropped and I expect AF any day now. Oh well, feeling quite blue today!!!! :help:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

July 9, 2003

And the temps keep droping steadly and ominously foretelling AF :evil: - the PMS has subdued today but (TMI) I found today creamy CM, which I hadn't had in more than a year! I feel my body changing, I see it, after BCP I am not feeling the same. When I first started the pill I had cramps on my right leg, but after a couple of months they disappeared and now, after a couple of months of quiting the pill, I have them again. This is the ODDEST thing, plus, increased headaches and almost 2 weeks, prior to AF of sore bb's and lower abdomen pains. Is it age Wink ?

Anyway, I am in good spirits today. The girls in TTC 0-6 have provided great input and support after a panic attack yesterday, my sister finally confirmed she comes to visit in September for 2 weeks, it is already Wednesday and my boss won't be in the rest of the week, the weather is wonderful, and DH and I have great plans for the weekend.

FIL is having his kidney stone removed today so we will go visit for a little while this evening. He is in good spirits also, so far, I have never seen him down, only a tad nervous (hates hospitals), but it is quite normal I think.

On another note - today I did not drink tea at the office (afraid of the H2O) as an experiment to see if it is that that gives me the "belly ache". We will see how it goes in one week!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

July 10, 2003

Total caos!!! My hormones are playing with me!!!
Ok, I am on CD1, which I was expecting, but not a lutheal phase of only 12 days :? . Anyhow, I do feel the hormone surge as I woke up quite disturbed and emotional, I have cried 3 times alrady today and I need to control myself a little bit more or I'll drive poor DH nuts! He is a sweetheart and has allowed me to explode today and talks to me in a way.... I love him! And passing on to another subject related to DH, FIL is still in the hospital, the poor thing, finally confessed he had not slept for 4 days prior to the intervention due to nervousness and he was so nervous and in such pain that the doctor suggested he remained in the hospital for the night so that they could monitor him. Although the pain is normal (I can only imagine passing a stone!), he was a little shocked and tired. This am he was better and we will go see him this pm, though I am not so sure I am good company today, oh well.

We'll see how it goes the rest of the day, for now, I'll get back to "work" and try to occupy my mind in something else.


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

TGIF!!! July 11

Well, Fabian is home and I get to go to work, how about that!! He will be off for the next two weeks and the poor thing, he will get desperate in the process he will drive me nutz Lol Thank goodness we still need to paint some of the rooms in the house, put up some wall lamps and fix some cracks!! Also, he is very excited designing "our" (his) dream house, so, I gotta get busy and make some "drawings" to submit for approval, :sillywink:

The weekend is here and I couldn't be more relieved!! It has been a tough week, mainly emotionally. I've tried to keep good spirits but I have been also quite depressed, thus, giving way to chocolate binging (4 pralines in 2 days is binging for me!) :goofy:

I am on CD2 and I have a plan for this cycle - basically, NO STRESS!! I'll keep taking temps, but I'll take it easy and won't stress about everything. I am already eating right but I need to excersice a bit more - the weather is wonderful and we are headed for some bike riding this weekend, plus I have my yoga workout all ready for me! I just need to keep the motivation! I have noticed that being in motion does relieve a lot of stress - gotta keep that up and a positive attitude.

We would so much love to have an April baby, the weather is already nicer that time of year and not so hot like in the summer, plus, it is my dad's b-day on the 15, so he would go nutz - he so much wants a grandchild, granddaughter if possible Wink .

Anyway, I am off for today, not much to report - going shopping this afternoon for some home decorations and my friend Patricia and BF are coming for a drink, I figured, on CD2 a little alcohol won't do any harm, right!?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
full weekend report!

Again Monday and back to the routine! Today is a "light" day at work, basically like every day lately, and I have not much to do. This week is boss' last week before a 4 week vacation, so, it'll be booooooring around here! Oh well! Kind of uncertain also what will happen, the girl I am covering for (maternity leave) is coming back on September, so, chances are I will be on a 'forced' vacation as of September 1st! I am not really sure what to feel about that.

Anyway, the weekend went soooo fast, but it was soooo nice. Saturday was a crazy day, we were running like chickens without heads all day long!!! We started the day quite early, at 8 am we were already at the hairdresser to pick up MIL and take her to the market. I bought the most delicious, plump, juicy, sweet cherries ever - and I PAID for the indulgence!!! My God, I understood the price when I started eating them Lol !! Then we spent most of the day with PIL and coming and going to the apartment and to Nivelles. I finally got my haircut and I am VERY happy!!!! At the end of the day we went to SIL's house to pick up the bikes and prepared for Sunday's journey!

First we went down south, almost to Luxembourg, but the landscape is too hilly there for us, mind you this is the first time we do this, so we went back north to a place called Lavaux St. Anne, the land is flat and there is a wonderful castle in that town. We took the little roads between the fields, which by the way were COVERED with chamomile, and when there were no cows or horses, the smell was WONDERFUL!! While riding past the cows and horses I has having anxiety attackes trying to "avoid" flies and all sorts of flying vermin that were driving me nuts, but added to the enjoyment of the day!!! We had a little pic-nic and went back to PIL's where we had coffee and cake with them and their friends. The night ended really nicely and I was completely relaxed though exhausted - it was a great way to stop thinking and thinking about TTC!

OT: Parents are doing good, I want to see them!! I want to share with them, and I thank God we talk so much and write to each other so much - I MISS my sisters!!!! Mayte did the parachute thingie on Sunday and I can't wait to learn all details!!!

I am on CD 5 today and feeling quite ready for the BD fest to begin! DH is excited too and we have promised each other that if conception doesn't happen this month, we won't be disappointed!! I hope!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
DH is the CUTEST!

July 16

He has 2 weeks off and has been painting the apartment and re-arranging the furniture, he is indeed a busy bee!!! He can't sit still for 2 minutes, only when I am home and he sits on the couch to watch TV, he immediately dozes off, we can't watch a full fim together Lol

Anyway, when AF arrived earlier this month and I was so depressed he encouraged me to take it "slow" and to be relaxed, that we will be pregnant when we will be and there was no rush. True, there is no rush but I do feel that damn clock ticking! So, he gave me this deep lecture about how when we BD, we don't BD, we make love and that is all that's important, that it has to be spontaneous and unfocused on baby-making. He is probably right, it is a loving moment with the sole purpose of sharing ourselves and if we conceive, all the best. So, I've kept my mind off purposely baby-making when we are together (there is always that deep down feeling - I hope this is it!).

Well, last night was super hot, it was already 10.30 and it was still bright outside and the heat had not come down, the windows were wide open but no cool freeze at all!!! we started getting romantic nevertheless and shut the windows for some "privacy" (the street is narrow and you can clearly hear the voices in the houses across the street), so .... we go on with the deed and I find him wondering and a little unfocused so I ask him what's wrong, he was notably pensive and asked me - do you think we'll really make the baby tonight?? I really want!! - I started laughing so hard we almost "lost" the opportunity Lol after his little "lecture". He cracks me up with his little french accent!!

On the physical side of things, I have been having "little headaches", it seems that I am really tense all the time, my jaw hurts also, like I am shutting my mouth really strong. I guess it all has to do with the situation at work, I feel unconfortable and I do not know what to do, if I should stay here or just stay at home for some months. The problem is that getting a job here without speaking French or Dutch fluently is kind of difficutl. We'll see. Also, I have not noticed any CM, which is really rare as before BCP I always found CM, argh!!! I hate those pills!!! And lastly, my cervix was soft and open, so I guess I might indeed have ovulated yesterday, there was a temp dip yesterday (96.8) and today it came back up to 97.2. I am on CD7 and I am happy!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Long weekend relax

July 22

We had such a nice weekend, we just relaxed and relaxed, no laundry, no cleaning, almost no cooking, just OUT! Saturday we had nice romantic breakfast in Brussels and took a nice little walk to see the "cow" exposition in the streets, quite cute by the way! We went to have a nice lunch at home and then we rode the bikes to PsIL, had tart and tea, and then back home to continue to relax, specially after 1 hour on the bicycle! On Sunday we took off to the Ardenes again and had a nice pic nic in the middle of nowhere!!! I don't even know how we arrived to that place, but there was no one and it was just too peaceful and nice, in the middle of the forest and a little brooke running through it, we sat down and ate and talked! We drove almost all the afternoon from one town to another and finally went back home. On Monday (luckily bank holiday) we went to Cologne to visit a High School friend I had not seen in 12 years!!!! It is funny how time seems to be still sometimes, and just fly by others ... oh well!! Had a wonderful time!

As for BD, well, no luck this week, DH is a tad ill and BD has had to be put on hold for some days, however, I hope things get better pretty soon, we are "entering" the ovulation twilight zone (because it is uncertain as to when if any) and I don't want to miss it. Physically things are not so bad, but not so good, I keep exercising and relaxing, but my stomach is all upset and I get constant headaches - if things continue like so for another week, I will definitively go to the DR.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

July 31

WOW, long time no see!!! Turns out DH and I had this BIG conversation about slowing down on the temping and such because it was putting a little extra stress on the baby making process, which is true, woke poor DH up with the BEEEEP every morning of my termometer and started stressing about when I would ovulate, if I did, and to time BD ... it just didn't seem natural to us anymore. All the better, stopped temping for a few days, and even though I am in CD limbo, we've had some very romantic and beautiful BD sessions, Lol !!

I sneaked on Tuesday am and today and temped again, temps going up, so I imagine I did O, but as I am uncertain as to when it was, I will not stress and won't count the days, I will just follow my instincts and hope for a BFP. We did BD on a day when I found watery CM, so .... we will see.

I am feeling crampy since yesterday and I am completely bloated, which is not necessarily bizarre, since I went off BCP I have those 2WW with all sorts of little aches, pains and discomforts, and this month is no exception. Weird thing is though, the little pains are ALWAYS on my right side (couple of months ago I went to the gyno and he made an ultrasound of my right ovary and everything seemed good - the little cysts around it which he said it was normal - let's say too tiny to be of any concern according to him).

So, nothing else to report for today, just waiting for my cycle buddies to surprise us with their BFP really soon!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

August 5th

I can't believe these people at work, I have never worked with such conflictive people in my life!!! I don't feel confortable here anymore, there is NO communication other than screaming to each other, being sarcastic, or through power trips. I am in such a state of nervousness I am not feeling so well.

Yesterday afternoon I starting cramping like crazy. I am gettig concerned, since I've been offf BCP I cramp for 2 weeks before AF and it is NOT funny! My skin is totally broken, every day I find a brand new spot!!!. Yes, I AM FRUSTRATED TODAY!!!

I have spoken to DH about quiting my job and I think I will at the end of August. I cannot explain the hostility that I feel in this place, and I spend ALL MY DAY here!!! Impossible!!! I have spoken to my Mom and the last couple of times she has been very concerned by the fact that I "sound" tired and discouraged, she emphasizes constantly that I need to relax and take it easy - I don't tell her much, but I gues she senses how uncomfortable I've been feeling.

On the other hand, I focus on this, DH is my life, our world is our relationship and our families, and the hope that one day we can conceive our little belgian waffle!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
secretly temping

August 8th

Yes, I have been secretly temping :oops: and supposedly I am 5DPO as of today ... normal pre AF signs already, cramps, moodiness, funny but no sore bbs, and my skin is completely broken, looks like I am 13!!! Well, it could also be attributed to the fact that I have been quite nervous and stressed at work and my skin is resenting it. Oh well .... not even all the water and the fat OUT of my diet, plus the cleaning and peeling is preventing all the spots and little monsters on my face, YUCK! :x

I spoke to my Dad yesterday, he was very concerned I broke down in the office and cried for hours with one of my colleagues, and he found out because my sister had called me and I was bawling on the phone .... the poor thing!!! I don't understand how she understood everything I said!!! Anyway, I felt so desperate and furious, this one colleague is mobbing me and I have been investigating the law here. I feel so unprotected, and this litte weasel is like that with the other female colleagues also, but stronger with me because I addressed the situation with our boss. In any case, I will talk to my boss today and hopefully I will be able to express all my feelings and facts without getting sentimental. Someone has to stop this abusive behaviour :evil: !!!!

On to more inteligent and worthy things Dirol - TGIF!!!! I can't wait for it to be 6 pm already and be with DH!!! We plan on catching a movie tonite, and tomorrow we have a couple other things to do, and hopefully it won't be so hot as these past days (102°F - no AC!!!) so that we can take a looooong nice walk on the riverbank. Sunday we will go to PILs BBQ party, and I decided I am NOT coming on Monday, I am calling in "sick"!!! Wink


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
an idle mind in DAN-GE-ROUS!

August 20

I got AF on the 11th and I am coming up with a plan to get preggy this cycle. I have bought the OPKs and will start tomorow, first thing in the morning. I am going to the pharmacy to get the baby aspirin and the B6 (might be too late, but heck!). The BD ritual is going according to plan and beautiful!

I am DECIDED to conceive this month! I have stopped temping as discussed with DH, and no "secretly" temping either, I am being good about it and trying NOT to stress so much, but I can't, I want a baby sooooo bad.

MIL suggested last week that if I did not conceive this cycle maybe it was a good idea to pay a visit to my gyno. Will do really, I don't want to delay this much, and IF there is a problem, hands on the job and LET's FIX IT!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

August 22

Been POAS and there is a faint, f-a-i-n-t line ... O should be taking place sometime early next week, so YAY!! I don't think I O last month, at least it did not how on my graphs.

TGIF!!! Tomorrow we go to Cologne to visit Viviana and hubby and I am very excited, a little break from the routine is most welcome!! We are planning to stay both Saturday and Sunday, it is a bummer though, this weekend is the "theatre market" in Ittre and I would REALLY want to take part of it, the celebrations seem to be quite a lot of fun.

Pascal and Natalie are going, they told us yesterday at dinner time. I like spending time with Pascal, he is indeed a funny man, but I just can't get through Natalie. Sometimes I think is because of the language barrier (which does not represent a problem with others by the way), but I don't connect with her at all. Anyway, we were talking about travel and such, and they told us this story of when they went the 2 of them to Barcelona and came back 3!!! They are funny, I told DH we HAD to go there and we asked them for the hotel name AND the room number Lol !!! They have 2 little ones, 3 and 1, boy and girl.

It is only 2.37 and I want to be home already, I want to take a little nap and I want to see DH!! He is taking half the afternoon off, which is very nice, that way I can also catch an earlier train and be home by 5.30!!! MIL is cooking for us today and I think we will pay them a little visit later in the evening. They are cute, specially MIL - I invited them to dinner on Wednesday and made vodka sauce pasta, she had 3 SERVINGS!!! and then she goes on and on telling me how pasta, bread, and the such are NOT good for me ... oh well!! You gotta love the woman!

Ta - ta for today ... I am in a bored, bored, bored state of mind


Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
cramps and things ...

August 25

m-o-n-d-a-y :shootself: w - o - r k ..; jeez, i think Monday's would be nicer if I actually "liked" someone in this office!! Can I complain??!!! I work with the most "sour" group of people one could even imagine - to each their own, no one cooperates, no one helps, but every one demands, yep, not asks, DEMANDS - 8 years of my life working and I have NEVER encountered such hostile people!!!

Oh well - after getting that off my chest, on to the real matter ...

Finally went to Cologne, the highlight?? STARBUCKS, oh yes! :needcoffee: caramel frappuccino and carrot cake!! Did I indulge?? YOU BETCHA!! No guilty feelings whatsover!! The party?? well, sorta, kinda, weird, definitively not our cup of tea, but I was soooo happy to see my friend and bid her farewell, she is a fighter and I am so certain she'll do so good in Australia - I can't wait to visit also!!

On the TTC front, well, OPK is negative, I am thinking I might have a looooong cycle again this month, however, I am having cramps :shrug: , too early I think, unless they are O cramps. If OPK continues negative and I see no CM and AF shows up I have decided to make an appointment with DR :fallingbricks:

Also, since this month I am not temping, I feel a bit "less" stressed, DH feels better too and BD is good! :love3: However, I do have a feeling something is wrong ... why hasn't it happened yet?? :dontknow: 4 cycles so far and I never thought it would take so long .....

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
OPK +++

Yes indeed Wink , last night, and we BD and all!!
I am sooo happy to see 2 lines, even if it is on the OPK!!! Lol Gives me "some" hope, at least that I am Ovulating - now, about catching that eggy, well, that's another story!

I definitively don't want to jump my guns or anything, and I am at times to be overly excited just to be disappointed in 2 weeks with a BFN, but hey! here goes nothing!

Anyway, last night I was thinking, with Mars being so close to the earth and all, IF we were to conceive, the BB would be born in May, and if he:she is a taurus, then he:she would be ruled by mars, how coatic is that!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

And very confussed - after OPK + I started temping again and temps do not go higher than 97.5, which is quite unusual given the fact that after O they are usually 97.7 up. Anyway, I decided to stop temping all together, that is is for this month. I am keeping track on my cycles and as soon as AF goes away I will visit the gyno -ARGH!!! I am starting to believe there is something really wrong with my body.

As for the BD, well, apparently DH has "stage fright" ... after I took the second OPK and it was + and found sound EWCM, I made the "mistake" to share the news with him and he was so stressed, he could not "perform" properly ... my goodness, did we ever get into such a discussion!!! I sometimes get this feeling he tells me he wants the baby so much, but during my fertile days, he "chikens" out - he claims he is Ok and wants the baby as much, and just tells me he is tired ... I don't know what to think, I just hope I am not beeing to pushy with the whole thing. Just to add to my confussion.

So, even though the weekend was good and relaxing in every other way, in the back of my mind I have the baby-making process being disrupted and not going according to plan, to my plan. DH tells me we should have a more "natural" approach and don't time everything, and in a way I think he is right, but also, I want to maximize chances. Sometimes I think I am going about it all wrong, my Mom, my sisters, MIL, they all tell me I should relax and just "let it happen", but hey, I am ME, remember, the little obssessive one who set a goal on her mind and wouldn't rest until she achieved it??!!! I want a baby, I've been trying for 4 months, and although some would believe it is not a long time, I do believe it is looooong, specially when I learn of all those women getting pregnant, voluntarily, or involuntarily, but almost immediately. And when I have waited for such a period of time, I start to believe there is something wrong with me. Better find out .....

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

September 2

... and I am NOT having fun! I woke up with a horrible headache this morning and wanting to throw up, the whole day has been a little of the same, but now I am actually hungry!

On Sunday we ate at PILs, some soup that is kind of heavy and yesterday we had Pizza Hut, which was quite heavy itself and I think the combination of both meals actually created a chain reaction of headaches, bellyaches and nausea, YUCK!!!!

If I keep feeling so, I will stay home tomorrow as when I sit is ok, but everytime I need to stand up, my head feels like a balloon!!! Did I mention my back hurts also?? I am a handful of physical complaints today!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Thursday .....

September 4

And the week seems to LINGER, I just want it to be the weekend and be home!!!

Temps have been wacko, 98 2 days ago, 97 yesterday and 97.7 today. Definitively NOT temping anymore, I don't understand whether my termometer is playing head games with me, or my body, so ... THAT IS IT!!! I am having pre-AF cramps so chances are 0-none that we caught that eggy. Well, there is always next month, or the next, or the next .... bummer!!

I am looking forward to my sister's visit though, very excited to see her again and spend some time together. I am taking 2 days off work (which I badly need) and will just do the touristy thingie!!! That means basically, beer, chocolates, waffles and moules with frittes ... YEAH!!! To hell with the diet!!!!

On the other hand, I do need to exercise more, I need to release some adrenaline before I go nutz - so, since the weather is so pleasant, we should take a nice walk today along the river. Need to "clean" out my mind a little bit - work and not conceiving are heavy burden on me lately - I need to find a hobby!!! Lol

Lisa - you've got one GOOD looking chart there!!! Keeping my fingers crossed and THANKS much for the encouragment!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
blah blah blah

September 8

Stupid cramps, stupid pimples, stupid backache, stupid cravings for carbs --- and here she comes again, slowly but surely .... I DON'T WANT HER, I DON'T!!!! How's that for a crises?!?!?!?

We were having lunch on Sunday, and DH looked at me and say - I have a feeling your are pregnant - and I think he just spoke to soon ... why doesn't it work, why is it taking long? I wonder if I am really obsessing about it?? It has to happen sometimes, but the monthy disappointment is wearing me out. Anyway, I have a GYNO appointment for the 23 and see how that goes, and I am just a little stressed, here is why ...

Last week the accountant in DH office asked him if he wanted children, and if we were trying, so he said yes, but it wasn't so yet. Anyway, she "confessed" to him her hubby and her had been trying for over 10 years now, but that the "enviroment" in her uterus is not appropriate for his sperm so, even if they conceive, the chemistry reaction is fatal and the product is lost - OMG I started to think that that is probably why DH and I can't get preggy!!! I cannot number the reasons I have to explain why we haven't conceived, everything from miss-timing to cancer!!!

Let's go back to normal mode and quickly relate the past days events - I got a haircut (short, went radical) and I love it (so does Fabian), PILs came over for dinner on Saturday night, didn't like the food (mole is an aquired taste, definitively), DH made a GORGEOUS cheese cake with white chocolate and raspberries, Charles (nephew) came to dinner (he had a 'fight' with his mother), waxed (ouch), watched 3 films and a documentary on anorexia (scary indeed), and cleaned up the fridge, the rest, we just relaxed, slept, and talked, talked, talked. So, I DID enjoy my weekend, thank you, and I am getting SUPER ready for my sister's arrival next Sunday - I cannot, repeat, cannot wait!!! I gotta plan tons of stuff to do, and that will 'probably' keep my mind of AF - aarrrggghhhhh!!!! The mere mention of it :evil: !!!

GL to all my TTC buddies - hope we have a BUNCH OF SUMMER BABIES, we will show that silly AF NOT to mess around with ANY OF US!!! TO BD without merci everyone!!!!!