I never thought I'd write a TTC journal... Not for any other reason other then the fact I normally fall pregnant quite easily... Normally I can decide one month that we're going to have a baby and by the end of it I'll be pregnant.
However, when it comes to carrying a pregnancy, it's somewhat harder.
Yesterday I suffered my 5th miscarriage, 4th in a row. I had such high hopes for this last pregnancy - I really thought it'd work out. Unfortunately it didn't so hear I am having to actually plan a pregnancy for the future.
Well, we aren't actually TTC yet... More getting ready to TTC.
I have a Drs appointment on the 7th May. I intend to get my Dr to refer me to a recurrent MC clinic for tests. I want to know... I need to know if there's a problem with me and whether anything can bedone to help or whether it's really just fate smiling (!) upon me everytime I end up MCing again.
I'm going to carry on taking Pregnacare Vitamins, I'm not going to go back to drinking alcohol on a regular basis, I don't smoke so that's not an issue and I've started taking exercise ona daily basis by way of going for a walk with the boys and/or Martin.
Hopefully in 6 months time we'll be all set for TTC again, and next time I have high hopes it'll work out.
So, this is where I'll be writing about our journey! I'll be writing tons of boring stuff about how I'm feeling, my Drs and health and stuff like that!
Hmmm.... Well, I'm feeling pretty ****ty today. Not so much upset about the MC, although that's killing me too... More upset that my body keeps giving out on me and now I have to wait again before we can TTC again... This'll mean that JJ will be over 2 years old when baby #3 joins us and that's just too much of an age gap for my liking.
My Mum thinks I should leave it another year and I'll have a succesful pregnancy, but by then JJ will be almost 3 by the time new baby arrives. And Tristan will be almost 4. Aaarrrgghhhh!
I'm so frustrated. Why me? Why do I have to have a crappy body that won't hold a pregnancy?
Anyways, I'm just waiting for the Drs appointment. The days are really dragging by and I'm getting more and more impatient with things.
I was hoping to start TTC again in September/October time... But I don't know. I'll see what the Dr says. Also I bought a book - can't remember what it's called though that's supposed to help people who have recurrent MCs to kick start their body into holding a pregnancy - so hopefully that'll give me an extra chance too!