Hoping and Praying for Baby #1
Well after reading so many journals, I thought that I would start one. Maybe it will make me feel better about TTC.
My name is Christine and my husband and I have been TTC a baby since New Years 2005. I realize that we haven't been trying for very long but there are some other circumstances that make me very nervous. My husband has Variocelles (sp) and all the information I can find says that it may make TTC more difficult.
My husband has 3 children from prior relationships. They are 18, 17 and 16 years old. My husband is 38 years old and I am 29 years old. They live across the country and it is hard to be away from them. So I know that he can have children, although he doesn't remember when the variocelles appeared. Hopefully they appeared when he was a teenager before he had children.
So that fact alone makes me VERY NERVOUS. So nervous that I panic and start worrying to the point where I cannot do anything. It paralyzes me. I talk about this with him often and he tells me not to worry, that if the variocelles are the problem, then he can have them removed but I don't want to wait for 6 months before they are removed. I want them removed NOW. He would rather wait and see if we can get pregnant rather then have his manhood manhandled by a bunch of doctors. Besides, not all men who have variocelles have problems conceiving.
I was on the BCP for 13 years straight. I am vbery nervous that I may have done damage to myself because I was on the pill for so long. But after talking to my TTC friends here on the board, they say that it should be no problem. My doctor says that there is no problem with being on the pill for so long.
I stopped taking them in November and all of my cycles have been 27 days long. I did have a short luteal phase during the first cycle (11) days, so I started taking Vitex during my next cycle. That luteal phase lasted 14 days. Much better.
Before I went on the BCP my cycles were very regular. I never had problems with cramps or anything like that. When I was on the BCP, I always had horrible cramps. Now that i am off the pill, no more cramps and AF only shows up for 3 days.
Now that I am on my 3rd cycle I am taking my pre-natal vitamin, Vitamin B6, and EPO. I didn't take Vitex so that I could see what my luteal phase will be like. This last cycle I also started using OPK's and preseed. We BD'd like crazy on CD 11, 12, 14, 15, 16 and I had a positive OPK on cd 14. FF says that I O'd on CD 15. So we should be covered. I used Preseed on Cd 11, 14,15, and 16.
I am 5 DPO and hope to test with my TTC 0-12 months friends on Valentine's day.
DH asked me every day if I am pregnant. It is slowly driving me crazy. I keep telling him that I can't think I am pregnant, because if AF shows up I will be devastated. He then asked if I was going to be sad if AF shows. DUH :blowup: Of course i am going to be sad.
The other night we were watching scrubs and one of the main characters is trying to have a baby as well. She is haveing difficulty, and i couldn't watch it without thinking about myself. I hid in the bathroom and cried. I pulled myself together and went to bed. DH went to bed with me and started talking about me being pregnant. I started to cry again and he asked wh I was crying and I didn't really have an answer for him. I had no idea why I was crying. The show didn't make me very sad. I guess I just needed to cry. The he said that I must be pregnant abecause I am so emotional and that he hopes that I don't cry my entire pregnancy. I said of course i won't be crying. I will be so happy to be having a baby.
Yikes, I have written so much. I will try to post again soon.