How It All Began - TTC#1 (pg ment) - Page 2
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Thread: How It All Began - TTC#1 (pg ment)

  1. #11
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    Well, it looks like my dream of returning to a 30 day cycle is just that - a dream. So far I'm on CD 24 with no signs of having ovulated. Either I'm going to have another lllloooonnnggg cycle or I'm not ovulating. Neither is a particularly good option, but I'm rooting for the long cycle.

    I feel like I'm stuck in a holding pattern. I've stopped using OPK's because it feels like a big waste of time and money. I'm still temping, so at least that will show if I did ovulate when this cycle is finally over. At this point I am more concerned with knowing if I ovulate than with actually managing to get pregnant this cycle.

    I do think I ovulated last cycle, even though I only started temping at the very end. My temps were high and then dropped before AF, and none of my temps since AF has been as high as they were prior to it. Which leads me to believe they will become high again at some point, I just don't know when. Aarrgh!

    As frustrating as it can be, I would KILL to be in the 2ww for AF right now. This stupid wait for O is taking forever!

  2. #12
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    And the cat strikes again.

    At 4am this morning, my demon cat decided it was time to play "how long can I walk all over Mom before she goes completely insane". I finally got him calmed down and curled up beside me, and about 20 minutes later he started again. This totally SUCKS! I do my temps at 6:30am so being awake at 5am is not good.

    That being said, my temp was higher this morning than it has been in the last 9 days. It's up quite a bit (from 36.3 to 36.5 Celsius) but still not higher than my temps right after AF (36.6). So I don't know if this is because of my lack of sleep, or if I might be ovulating soon. No fertile CM at the moment. I also feel like I might be getting a cold which I'm guessing would throw off my temps.

    This is very frustrating. I feel like this has been the longest three weeks of my life. I can't even bear the thought that it might be another three weeks (or more!) before I finally get AF. A large part of me is very angry at myself for staying on the pill so long and screwing up my cycles.

    I know it's been said before, but I find it so bitterly ironic that I spent so much time being petrified of getting pregnant when I was younger. Now that I actually want to have a baby, I couldn't find my eggies with a flashlight and a map.

  3. #13
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    Woohoo! HUGE leap in my temps today, I'm up to 36.7 which is my highest temp this cycle. Now I'm just praying they are still up tomorrow, three high temps and I might finally see some lines on my FF chart!

    The only downer to all of this is that I did not have any ewcm at all, except for a tiny little bit last week. I guess being on BCP for so long might have screwed up my cm. So the chances of actually having conceived this cycle are probably pretty slim. (We didn't BD all that often this week either, we've both been really tired and I had no clue when I was going to O.) So, I am going to buy some Preseed for my next cycle. Hopefully that will increase our chances.

    God, I hope my temps stay up. I really want this to be from ovulating. I have been so nervous that I'd be like my Mom and not be able to O without meds. I don't have anything against taking fertility drugs, I just don't want to have to go through a bunch of annovulatory cycles before my doc will acknowledge a problem.

    Anyway, I'm crossing my fingers to see another high temp tomorrow. Wish me luck!

  4. #14
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    I HAVE CROSSHAIRS!!!



    OK, so they're only dotted ones...but I'm happy to see them anyway! My temp was 36.8 today and when I put it into FF my lines appeared. Wheeee!

    But, because of my lack of fertile cm the lines are only dotted. Definitely picking up some Preseed for next month. I was looking up info about Robitussin but apparently that only thins the cm you already have. Since I don't have any, that won't help!

    FF also said my "intercourse timing" was good. For anyone who doesn't use FF, they rank it as either low, good, or high in relation to the timing of your ovulation. Not too bad considering we didn't BD all that much and I didn't know when I was going to O.

    I have no idea how long my luteal phase will be, but I'm hoping it's normal so my 2ww doesn't turn into anything longer! Even though I said I'd be happy just to O this month, of course I'm still going to be hoping that maybe we got lucky and caught the eggie.

  5. #15
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    My charming kitty had me up bright and early this morning, so I figured I might as well make a quick update in my journal. After the last few days of increasing temps, I was surprised to see my temp dip today. It went down to 36.8 from 37.1 (yesterday's temp). Now of course, like any rational TTC'er my first thought was "implantation dip!" But I'm only 6 DPO so it might be a little early to see a dip. I'll see if tomorrow's temp goes back up before I get too excited.

    I'm not having any PMS symptoms yet so I think my luteal phase is going to hold out for another week or so (that's how early I usually start getting PMS). I'm trying my best to be level-headed during this wait, but it's so hard! Right now I'm just hoping that my low temp today is either an implantation dip or a normal variation, and not a sign that AF is on her way.

  6. #16
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    Well, crap. I mentioned in my last post that my temp had dropped and I hoped it was an implantation dip because I didn't have any PMS symptoms. Well, my cramps started about two hours ago.

    I'm feeling very sad and disappointed. Part of me wants to hope it's implantation cramping but the realistic side knows it's probably just PMS. If it is PMS, I hope the cramps last a few days before AF arrives. They usually do but I feel like I don't know what's going on with my body anymore. All I know is I don't want to have to deal with a short luteal phase problem.

    Best case scenario - my temp shoots back up tomorrow and the cramps go away. Worst case scenario - AF shows up.

    Thanks for reading - I'll keep you posted.

  7. #17
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    Well, I just don't know what to think. I got my "best case scenario" this morning - my temps went back up to 37 and my cramps seem to have gone away. But, I really don't think yesterday had anything to do with implantation. The cramps were just too intense and they lasted about 10 hours. I can see getting some pain from implantation, but I don't think it would be as severe as the cramps I had yesterday. Plus, there was no implantation bleeding.

    When I was on the pill I used to get one day of mild cramping, then a few days of no cramps, then one more day of strong cramps before AF would show. Yesterday was far from mild, but if I had to guess I would say that I'll now have a few days of no cramps and then they will return by the end of the week - with AF hitting on the weekend.

    I really admire people who can go through this month after month and maintain their sanity. I am so impatient that all this waiting just kills me. I am also a huge control freak so that's not helping! Why can't my eggies just do what I want them to do??

    Anyway, for the most part I've accepted that I'm out of the running for this cycle. But a small part of me is still hoping there's a chance....

  8. #18
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    Why can't I just accept that I'm not pregnant and move on?

    I started getting cramps really badly around noon and although they only lasted for about 30 minutes they practically screamed "AF is coming!" These were the kind of cramps that take you out at the knees and it's all you can do to stand up without hunching over in pain.

    And yet, can I convince myself that I am 100% out of the running this cycle? Of course not.

    To add onto this, my temp dropped today back down to 36.8. Still above the coverline, but nowhere near as high as it's been. Most likely going to keep dropping until AF hits in the next few days.

    And yet, can I convince myself that I am 100% out of the running this cycle? Of course not.

    Rationally, I know that it can take a long time for this to happen. It could be months, even years. We might need medical assistance. The odds that we would conceive so soon after starting to try are pretty slim.

    And yet, can I convince myself that I am 100% out of the running this cycle? Of course not.

    I hate that I am setting myself up for disappointment. What the heck is wrong with me?

  9. #19
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    OK, so it's a brand new day and I'm going to try to stop feeling sorry for myself. Yesterday's post was pretty bleak. I need to shake this off and look ahead to possibilities of the next cycle.

    I'm 9 DPO and just praying that AF holds off for another couple of days. I'd really like to have at least a 10 day luteal phase, as that seems to be the minimum considered "normal" by the research I've done. I had really bad pains on my left side overnight, I think it was my ovary. The pain actually woke me up and then kept me awake for awhile. It wasn't cramping, it was a very sharp pain. So far today I haven't been having this pain or any cramps, so I'm hoping AF is still a couple of days away.

    While I was awake with my ovary pain last night I started thinking about the positive things that happened during this cycle, even if pregnancy wasn't one of them:

    1. I ovulated!
    2. I learned a lot more about temping and charting.
    3. I learned that I don't produce a whole lot of fertile CM (which isn't a good thing) but that I can compensate for that with Preseed (which is a good thing).
    4. DH became more involved in the process, realizing that perhaps his "waiting for it to happen naturally" attitude was not the TTC approach I wanted to take.
    5. It looks like I might manage to pull off a normal luteal phase length.
    6. I haven't gone POAS crazy. No peeing here!
    7. It looks like my cycle might be returning to a more reasonable length.

    So all in all, there have been a lot of good things gained this last month or so.

  10. #20
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    I am sick. I woke up with a terrible sore throat this morning and it's still bothering me. I absolutely hate the taste of cough drops (no matter the flavor, they all taste like cr*p to me) but it hurts so much to swallow that I might have to break down and have some. In the meantime, I'm sitting here trying to see how long the human body can go without swallowing.

    In addition, I apparently have developed contact dermatitis in a rather unfortunate location. My DH dragged me to the doctor last night after I asked him to look at this "location" and give me his opinion. His opinion was that he didn't know what the hell it was, but we were going to the doctor immediately. The doctor quickly diagnosed it as contact dermatitis (big words for skin irritation) and suggested I switch my soap, laundry detergent, and toilet paper - which should be a BIG hint as to exactly where this location is. Like I don't have enough to obsess about in that general area.

    In TTC news, my temp went back up this morning although I figure that's from the sore throat. Still no sign of AF and no more PMS symptoms. My lower abdomen has been feeling a bit weird lately. Not cramping. It's almost like when you do a lot of ab crunches and the next few days your abs feel a bit abused. Just like that, except I'm feeling it low in my belly (around where I figure my uterus is). It's not painful, but there's definitely a sensation. This started after the ovary pain that woke me up a couple of nights ago ended.

    I am very relieved that I have made it to the bare minimum number of days for a "normal" luteal phase. I hope this pattern continues in the future!

    PS - I didn't swallow the whole time I was writing this! Eventually I'll have to do it, or else I might drown in my own drool.

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