Journal #1 (v.5)

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Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Journal #1 (v.5)

Well I'm back. Not ttc yet, just had my precedure yesterday. Can't ttc until the dr. says ok. I just needed somewhere I can go and get some of these feelings out.
I am sore but don't really hurting. I am taking pain meds, but right now just pretty much taking to relieve the mental pain, which is unbearable at times. Like I told Teresa, I think they took my heart with Little Bit. Or maybe I wish they did. My heart hurts so much. Everyone is tring so hard to help, and they do alittle, but I just think I need time. I can't remember how to feel not being pg. All my energy went into being pg, and now I don't know where to put all that energy. I will feel that joy again, I just know it, but I will never forget my precious Little Bit. He/she tought me how to live for someone other than myself. Little Bit showed me that life isn't all about Dayna, and that was so wonderful. Granny has my precious Little Bit and I know that she will take such good care of him/her.
I have started my crying thing again, having hard time seeing the computer.
Prayers to Troops, their families, Prez Bush, Lisa, Teresa, all the ttc and all the mommies to be.
Lisa so sorry af came, and Teresa, hope Lisa keeps her busy for you. I would just love it if you got the BFP.
Love you all and thanks for all the positive vibes. I am coming back!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

REAL DOWNER, JUST WROTE TO GET OFF MY CHEST. PLEASE DON'T READ AND FEEL SORRY FOR ME. I JUST NEED TO DO THIS!!!!
THANKS!!!!

Well, I came back to work today. Not sure if this was the right thing. Wishing everyone would just ignore me. Act like I wasn't here. I don't want to carry on and chit chat. I feel hopeless. Wish this feeling would go away, I'm not use to feeling this way. Everything I have been looking forward to seems like a waste of time. I wish I could figure a way out of this. Everyone is trying, but nothing is working. I am just making everyone miserable with me. I think that is what is really getting me down. I don't want any to be down on the count of me. I just want to crawl in a hole and let everyone go on without me. Not forever, just for now. I just feel if I could just get this out I would be better. We are suppose to go to a wedding out of town this weekend. I really really don't want to go, but I don't want to ruin everyone elses plans. I just don't know what to do. This black hole is really getting old, very old. I have to figure a way out. I WANT OUT!!!!!!!!!!! I need hope again. Maybe when I go back to the Dr. and he tells me everything is a go. Hopefully I will not have to wait that long.
I miss my Little Bit.
Prayers to the troops, their families, Teresa, Lisa and the rest of the ttcers, I'll be back soon, and all the mommies to be, hope to see you soon also.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well it is Friday. I have decided not to go to the Wedding tomorrow. I just think that this their time in the sun and I just feel like I have nothing to contribute. Alot of people will be there that know and I just not quite ready to face the world with this. I spend the better of last night crying. I just can't quit. I am thankful for one thing, that it is this week and not last week. I don't think I could live through that again. All the bleeding has quit, all of the soreness is pretty much gone. Nothing left of my Little Bit but memories. I just want to get on with my life. I know where my bro was coming from when he said he went into such a depression when Granny died that he just had to make himself get out of bed. That is the way I feel. I really don't want to do anything. Nothing!!
Nick is sick again. He left side of his head is swollen, my poor baby. When it rains it pores. I am taking him to the vet first thing in the morning. I just pray that he is OK. I don't think I could handle anything else.
Prayers to troops, their families, Teresa hope this is your mo., Lisa I'm so sorry AF came, maybe we can get back into next mo together, thanks for the thoughts in you je., prayers to all the ttcers, Kelly thanks for your well wishes, and all the mommies to be.
Joann thanks for all of your help also. It is nice to know that I am not alone and you, Teresa and others are so much help.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

OK, I have done this twice now. Why is this board so hard to get along with?????????????
I feel alittle better this morning, so far just one crying fit. I had to go the dr. they think I have an uti, this really sucks. I started temping this morning. 98.0 I just can't stand being in this limbo land. I feel worthless. I need to find a way out of this negativity.
I need everyone to pray for my Dad, he is having a hernia surgery this morning and Nick goes in of his bone test tomorrow. If these 2 prayers are answered, I will start my way out of this black hole. It just seems everything is coming at once. I WANT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Teresa, looked for you je, I hope af stayed away.
Lisa hope AF went away and you are getting started on next mo.
I am cheering for both of you.
I came in this morning to find out they let the other lady in the office go. I know she was grouchy and had to get along with at times, but she did a good job. She is 59. Life isn't fair.
I want to start loving life again. Maybe if Dad and Nick are OK that will be a start.

Prayers to the troops, their families, Teresa, Lisa and the rest of the ttcers and all the mommies to be.
Everyone thanks for your warm wishes. They have really helped.
Love you all.
((((((((((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

One more day down. My temp was 97.9. I feel like I can see alittle light at the end. Today is one week since they took Little Bit from me. Just kinda numb. I don't want anyone to talk to me or mess with me. I just want them to leave me alone. I don't think that is too much to ask.
I got up at 6:00 to take Nick to the dr. this morning to discover, his food and water was never taken up. I called the Dr. this morning and am waiting for her to return my call. I was just so ready for someone to help or tell us what to do to make him better, he is so pitiful. My Bro bought him some of those water balls, he has been playing with them, he can only open his mouth maybe an inch. He just breaks my heart.
Last night I got the scare of my life. DH let the hairy ones out and I got to missing Lacey, she is the blind one. I asked Chris if she had come in and he said he had fallen asleep. I went running outside and no Lacey. I went straight for the road. Just screaming, Finally here she came just running down the road, that just took the life right out of me. I just went screaming inside and told dh that she was not to go out without one of us watching her. I was so scared, I just can't shake that feeling. I guess I shouldn't have screamed at dh but he should have kept an eye on her. I would just die if something had happened to her.
I am tired of being scared and tired. I just want to be normal again. Or as normal as I have ever been.
Dad's surgery went well, he is just in alot of pain. He was taking some major pain meds. We laughed at him most of the night. He did say that when we get pg again, he was giving me the LHS to carry the baby in. We will see what he has to say about that when he comes to his senses.
Dr. just called, they want to wait to see Nick until tomorrow. Oh well, I guess it will be another early morning.
Please pray for him, I really need for him to be OK.
Better get to work, since I have double the usual.
OH yea is anyone watching AI. GO CLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prayers to the troops, their families, Prez Bush, Lisa, Teresa, all the ttcer and all the mommies to be. Lisa where are you??? Teresa, I am so sorry that af found you. Maybe this next mo will be ours, I pray every day.
Lotsa luck and baby dust!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Good morning all. Temp 98.2. temps really weird. Oh well.
Had a very restless night. Taking Nick to the Dr. is really bothering me. I am so afraid of what they are going to tell me. I really really cannot take anymore bad news right now. I just can't stand my baby being in pain like that.
They put Dad back in the hospital last night. They think it is just him getting sick from his pain meds and not eating, nothing bad, thank goodness.
DH and I had a talk last night. He want to wear protection until I at least get my first AF. I told him to hold off until I go to the Dr. in a week. I told him we would do what the Dr. suggests. I will try anyway.
I tell you what, all of my shows except for AI, pg everywhere. Seventh Heaven, General Hospital, Everwood, Smallville just to mention a few. My gosh, everything I watch, and of coarse they are all unplanned. What is this, are they just trying to make this harder. I am just hopping that when the series come back on in the fall, I will be pg also. That would be ok. More than ok, it would be Wonderfully GREAT!!!!!!!!!!
OK everyone is coming in.
Prayers to the troops, their families, Prez Bush, Teresa hope dh Dr. appt goes well, and you go girl on the new board. I don't know how you find the time. Lisa, we miss you!!!!!!!!!!!
I just want to thank everyone for helping me get through this time in my life. I don't think I would be sane right now if it weren't for Teresa, Lisa, Joann, just to mention a few, but there were many more. All of you have been just a tremendous support, I just thank the Lord for each and everyone of you.
Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I just got off the phone with the Dr. for Nick. She thinks it is a tumor, but they will not know until the pathologist looks at his films. I don't know why all of this is happening to me. It isn't fair. I can't loose my baby, not another one. I just don't know what to do, just when I started seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, someone blows the end of the tunnel up. I hate this. I would love to scream and cry, but it gets me nowhere. Nothing gets me anywhere, nothing. I just don't know what to do next, or if I should just give up. Right now giving up sounds real good. Really good. I am very angry right now, I need time to breath, but that doesn't really matter I don't guess.
I'm so sorry, I just don't have anywhere to go.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.2 temp.
I was driving in this morning after having a crappy day yesterday, I was thinking ok Nick has a tumor, but hopefully it is something that we can fix. I am keeping my hopes up. DH and I are going back to our routine as of today. I have taken all my meds and am free to make love again. I was thinking, ok things are coming back together. RIGHT!!
I came in this morning to work, everyone is yelling at me for everything. Since they let the other lady go, I am the only one that is here to do all the crap stuff, and on top of that, the big boss calls and tells me to get rid of my radio and to do something about my handwritting. I came back so mad I could cry, I came in and unplugged my radio and thought very seriously about throwing it away. And the thing about my writting, I have lost some use of my hand after I had it operated on. My writting is as good as it gets. OH yeah he also said that I need to make sure I have everyone that calls in spell their name, because I can spell worth S---. Can you believe he said that. I am getting where I just don't like anyone around here. No one cares, they are all just out for themselves. I hope I never get that bad that I forget about worring about other people. I will have to type later, someone else is jumping my butt for something else that someone else done.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sorry about that last entry. I made a run to Kinko's and calmed down. I really shouldn't let people get to me like that. I know it is just because they feel bad and try to make everyone around them feel bad too. Well, crap on that. They can all bite my big old white butt.
I am going to try to have a new outlook. I will do what I can and if that isn't enough, try firing me, I would love to see this place run with just the 2 guys, they don't even know what we have filing cabinets for. Ha ha.
I have to go, Teresa, I really really hope you get to feeling better. You take care of yourself. I will pm you later.
Lisa have an awsome time on your 3 day weekend!!! Have some fun for me.
Sheri, I so hope everything works out for you and dh. Keep the faith!!!!

And just by the way, CLAY SHOULD HAVE WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prayers to the troops, their families, Prez Bush, Pray that Teresa feels better, and Sheri gets her wish. Prayers to all the ttcers, and the mommies to be. And I pray that it will be all of us before long.

Peace out!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.2 again. Don't really know what my temps are meaning right now, but anyway.
TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF
Can you tell I am glad it is Friday. I need to get out of this jail. After yesterday, I am so over this place. It is really funny that you spend 8 hours a day with people 5 days a week and they still don't give a rat's tail about each other. I think that is sad. I have cared about this bunch, and I am to the point of why? I am not going to waste my time with people that care about nothing but themselves. And I am not going to get my feelings hurt by them either. So that is that.
Nick had kinda rough night. I think it is mainly because of his operation. I think that is still really sore. I would think if they took a peice out of my jaw, I would hurt for a couple days. It just breaks my heart to watch him in pain.
I go to the Dr. Wednesday. Kinda excited in a way. I am hoping he will give me the green light. I need some hope right now. From somewhere, anywhere.
I got an email from my best friend yesterday. We have been so close since 5th grade. Then she went and married a jerk that thinks he is the only thing she needs, period. I think she is afraid of him. She is absolutely beautiful, but now she has gained so much weight, I just can't believe it. She told me that she would have to email me from work. So far everytime I call her house or email her house, she never seems to get it. I wonder what happens to them. :roll: I wish she didn't live so far away. It takes me about 6 hours to get to her. We have lost touch over the last few years. I just think it is too hard for her to keep the piece with goob watching her every move. I don't blame her, I blame him. I emailed her back, but haven't gotten a response yet. I told her the whole poor Dayna story. Back in the old days, we would go get a 6 pack, and sit back and cry. Well the drinking days are over and she is way to far away for a cry fest. I am hoping with her new job we will get to stay in touch more. I miss her.
OK everyone is filing in. I probably will not post until Tueday, unless someone pisses me off. Excuse the lang.
Prayers to everyone, ttcer and mommies to be.
Teresa, hope you are feeling better. Sorry I didn't get to pm you yesterday, I will try today, just know you are in my thoughts.
Lisa, hope you have a wonderful long weekend. I know you are already gone, but just in case.
Sheri, still thinking of you.
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Be good and if you can't be good be good at it.
Over and out!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.7 Today. Had a pretty good weekend. Didn't want it to end. I just dreaded coming to work, but it really hasn't been that bad this morning. Knock on wood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This board is on my last nerve. I have been kicked off about 4 times already this morning. I really don't understand the problem, and I don't think anyone else can either.
OK, I am feeling better, just need to feel myself again. Maybe after my Dr. appt and Nick's appt Friday, I will feel better. I just have a feeling of dread. I just can't kick it. Maybe a vacation will do, but I don't want to schedule one until I know what Nick's future holds. I am so afraid for him. I just wish he would show some improvement, anything. He does really well as long as he is on his pain meds, but if he misses a dose, he goes back to bed and doesn't want to get up. I just can't stand the thought of something happening to him. He is my cuddle buddy and I really think he loves me as much as I do him. He is one of the few dogs I have ever known that just has love ozzing out of him. He craves it and loves to give it. Everyone that knows him just loves him. He does tricks if you will not pay attention to him, or he just sits as close as possible.
OK, anyway, I think I oed this weekend. I was having pains in my left side. Me and dh got back into the grove. If you know what I mean. :sex: I feel like my body is coming back go life, and maybe I will follow pretty soon. We took no precautions, but I did get up and go to the bathroom soon after. I know TMI.
I crave to have a baby inside me again. I know it cannot replace Little Bit, but I need that feeling again. I need to look forward to the future, not dread it. I want to live life again, I want to want to go out, I want to want to see people. I think it will come someday very soon. I just know it.
I haven't heard from Mel, I know noone wants to listen to a person cry constantly. I really thought maybe she wanted to be close again. Maybe she has just been busy. I am good at jumping to conclusions lately.
Well, I have bored you enough.
Love and prayers to Teresa, Lisa, all ttcers and mommies to be. And newmama, thanks for the mention in you je, it really means alot when others think of you.
Better get to work,
OH yeah, the sun is out, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 this morning.
I went to the Dr. this morning. He said everything looked good and sees no reason why I can't start ttc again. He said he wishes that I would wait until I got my first AF. Like I said I will not try, but I'm not going to try to prevent either. I do feel better about things.
I went into the Dr. office, and of course, everyone is pg, even the ones that you can't tell, are also pg. I did ok, I went back and peed in the cup and they sent me to this little waiting room. There were 2 ladies talking, one was pg and the other had just had twins. The lady that was pg was saying that she was spotting, I just about went into tears right there. I couldn't talk, I just wanted to run over to her and tell her it was OK, but I just sat there. THEN, I could hear these women coming down the hall, very loud. Oh my cow, it was one of the girls that use to run around with the crowd that DH use to hang with. She is very loud, very obnoxious and cusses like a sailor. They send her into the waiting room with 3 other friends she brought along. I smiled just to be friendly, she just gave me the do I know you look. I know she knew who I was. SHE IS PG. She is not married, which isn't that big of a deal, but I can't believe that she would have a baby much less raise a baby on her own. Of all people she is one of the ones that I would never think of. She picks up this book and starts pointing to pictures and saying OMG, this is what I am going to look like. She was making so much fun, I almost had to leave the room.
When the nurse came and got me, I thanked her and went to my room. NOW THAT IS WHAT IS NOT FAIR ABOUT ALL OF THIS!!!!!!
Well enough negativity, I am going to be positive from here on out. Or I am going to try so hard. Positivity is what helped get me pg last time, I am going to try it again.
A special prayer to newmama1. I hope your cycles stay short and you get that eggy before long.
Prayers to Teresa hope she catches that eggy before the surgery.
Prayers to Lisa, Hope your vacation goes great. We are going to miss you while you are gone, but glad your are getting this time away. Hope you catch that eggy. Just stay positive.
I am praying and cheering for all of you and the rest of the ttcers and the mommies to be.
I pray it will not be long before we get to join the mommies to be.
OH yea, it is absolutely beautiful today here, who can be negative on a day like this.
Please pray for my baby Nick, pray we get some type of good news Friday.
Over and out.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.5 today. This is my second post. I am so tired of being kicked out on theses boards.

Ok I am going back to the positive thinks I typed before it erased all of it.

I have found the reason for all my bad luck. I was sitting in my swing looking at the garden and suddenly realized that my turtle was gone. (A turtle in the northern most part of you garden brings you good luck). I looked around and there it was, dh was using it in the garden for a sprinkler(my turtle is also a sprinkler). I ran into the house and got another turtle and placed it in its place. It is working, first of all I got great news at the Dr. The next one is good and bad, according to how you look at it, one of my bosses quite, they are not going to replace him so they are going to give us more $$$$. More work but more money. We are needing it for our remodeling. YEAH. Tomorrow will be the big test. I know Nick's test are going to come back great, but I will be happy and thankful if we have a treatment. I just know it will come out in Nick's favor.

I am trying to figure out when to go on vacation. The weeks that I am sure I will not be Oing, I can't go. I guess I will have to take the chance that I will go at the right time. Because see if I don't get that egg in June, DH will be gone for 16 days in July. That pretty much rules out July. I may just have to do with August. That just sounds so far away. I really feel in my heart that we will get it on the first try. I am just enjoying having this feeling of hope. It has been so long. I was almost certain that I oed last weekend, but now with my temps, I'm not so sure. Who knows, just hard to make plans with not knowing.

I am feeling so much better today, the sun is shining and it truely is a beautiful day.
AND THAT IS A GOOD THANG!!!!!!!!!!

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, all the ttcers, and mommies to be.

Kelly-Kellylusk, I just hate to hear you down on yourself. You are a special and beautiful person. I you need any help remembering that ask anyone on the board. Keep your spirits up!!!!

Lisa, Hope you have a wonderful long vacation. I am so excited for you. Don't worry about Nick and me, we are going to make it through this. Just remember, If you can't be good be good at it.

Teresa, praying of that eggy to be there this mo. I am cheering for you.

Newmama1, still praying for you!!!!!

YOU GO GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Over but not out!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.9 this morning. Lookin goooood!
I was going to wait to type until I heard from Nick's Dr. I called her and left her a message to call me. I am very nervous about the call.
I went and ate lunch with a couple girls that I use to work with. They are so sweet. We were eating and of course they wanted to know how I was and how my Dr. appt went Wed. I really thought I was over the crying part of it. I told them and couldn't keep from crying. I didn't boo hoo or anything, just tears. They are so good to listen to me.
I feel good today. My spirits are high, and I am looking to the future. Even my body it getting back in wack. I have lost a few pounds, just a couple, and I am getting those little pains, you know you use to not notice, but when you are TTCing you notice. I know I am not at the TTC point, but like I said, I can feel my body again. I really think I went totally numb for a couple weeks.

I have alot of work to do so here is my closing.

Kelly - KellyLusk, I was so thrilled that you are feeling better. I worry about you when you are as down as you were yesterday. So you are working the riverbend. I don't think we are going this year. We are going to the Kenny Chesney concert on the 7th. We usually spend way too much money at RiverBend anyway. Hope you all don't work to hard, Enjoy.

Teresa, Yeah to you cohosting. I just think you will be such an asset to the board. I am so thrilled. And by the way, are you practicing?????

Lisa, I am so hyped about your long vacation, we will miss you so much. I just know you are going to have a wonderful time. Hope your doggies have a good stay at the hotel. Be safe.

Parker, I am praying so hard for you this weekend, hope you get good news monday. You too newmama1.

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa and the rest of the ttcer and mommies to be. Mommies to be here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please pray for my baby Nick.
TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF,TGIF!

Have a good one!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sat. 98.0, Sun. 97.9, & today 97.8. I think this morning went down due to my dear dh felt it right to sleep with the windows open. It got quit chilly last night, and I woke up freezing. Oh well, who knows. Babymed said I oed on the 29th, Thurdays, We bded :sex: that night, but I have a feeling they are wrong. We shall see.
Well I knew that turtle was the reasoning for all of my bad luck. I got a call from Nick's Dr. Guess what, they have no idea what it is. 3 labs have analized the sample, and they have never seen anything like it. Story of Nick's life, that is what they said about his skin, his toes and now the side of his head. I have to take him back for some more test on Wednesday. At least they are going to foot the bill, or most of it. He is a learning experience for them they say. They call him their "Autoimmune nightmare". I thought that sounded better than a tumor. The Dr. said not to get my hopes up yet, but I have. Nick and I are going to be just fine.
Well, looks like I am going on vacation 06/19-06/26. I am hoping we are going to get to go to Cancun. I have a call into a buddy that works at a travel agency, she is going to see if she can find us anything. The only thing, I will be away from Dh and the hair ones. The only people I never get tired of. It looks as if it is going to be my bro, and my 2 cousins. It will be fun. I just told them that not to count on me being the life of the party, I will be doing no drinking. I need to keep this body as clean as possible. I guess I will be the dd for the trip. There are worse things, like not getting to go. I am going to have a wonderful time. This is going to be my last vacation without my little one. I just know it. YEAH!!!! How is that for a bright outlook????? Take that you dark dank pit. ha ha. Yes I have gone just a little over the edge. But you girls that have been there, it is such a relief no to want to crawl into that pit but to fight your way out, and I am fighting as hard as I know how!!!
Very quit around the office. 2 bosses out of town, one kinda boss out of town, co-worker on vacation and only me and the other boss. He's last day is a week from today, so he is wanting to do nothing. YEAH!!! What more can you ask for a Monday.

I do have work though, better get to it.
Parker, I am so so sorry.
Teresa, hope this is the oing time, NOW GET TO WORK!!!!!
Lisa, hope you are having the time of your life, you deserve it.
Nickylynnluckes, hang in there!!!!!!!!!!

Teresa, just wanted to add, you and Lori have the board rockin, before long everyone will want to be welcomed to the Hotel California. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope everywhere is as beautiful as it is here today.

Till we speek again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.8 again. Who knows what is going on. Today makes 3 weeks, but I just can't let my mind take me back to those dark days.
Nicky posted a letter to her little one. Boy did it hit home. Especially about the d&c. I still wonder if I made the right decision to have the d&c. I know in my head I did. I just didn't understand if my baby was no longer spiritually with me why was he/she physically still there. I wanted to think that Little Bit was just wanting to stay with me, just to stay with his/her mommy just a little while longer. And I let them take him/her. I just don't know. I have to block it from my mind or I would go out of my mind!!!!
I miss him/her so much. I don't think that part ever gets any easier.
Well, I need to keep my spirits up. The Dr. says I should start AF 4 to 6 weeks after the d&c. A week from now is 4 weeks, I don't feel sore bb or anything. I am having an uncomfortable feeling, like I am going to start. I don't really want to call them cramps, because they are not, just uncomfortable. I wish she would come on. I am ready to get this ball rolling. I just wish my temps would go up or down. Even they are staying in the middle. I think someone is doing this on purpose. The only thing is I have a better chance of catching the eggy if af shows at 6 weeks. If she comes at 4 weeks, I will only have a small window, and that is if o comes at the right time. We shall see.
Well someone just came in.
Prayers to Lisa, and Teresa, the rest of the ttc crew, and all the mommies to be. Watch out here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nicky, thanks again for the letter.
Deb, I am so so sorry.
Lisa, We miss you, hope you are having a great time.

I need prayers for Nick again, he is going in for the other test in the morning. Good news, he is down to only 2 pain pills a day. YEAH!!!!

Under, over but not out!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.0 this morning.
Wow what a day, go go go, run run run. I don't think I have ever been this late posting. At least it make the day go by faster.
All of your prayers worked. They didn't even biopsy Nick today. They said that the knot had shrank by 50%. They saw no reason why it shouldn't just keep shrinking. YEAH!!!!!!! Thanks girls!!!

I really feel good today. I am bloated and gassy, I know TMI. Don't know what is up with that. But I still feel really really good.

I am having to run some end of the day jobs.

I will catch up tomorrow.

Teresa, how's is it going on your end. You are doing a wonderful job on the boards. Yeah Teresa!!!! Hoping for a big mo ahead of you.

Lisa hope you are having a blast.

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, all the ttcers, and mommies to be!!!!

I will see you tomorrow, be there or be square!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.9 this morning. Ok enough of this, I need to get this ball rolling. Tuesday will be 4 weeks, no sign of af, no sore bb nothing. I really don't mind that much because if AF comes Tuesday that will knock us out of this mo ttc. I will be in Cancun without dh while o is here. So I need to just calm down and count my blessings.
Speaking of blessings, except for having a sore ear, they had to clean his ear out real good. He is doing great. He was still pretty much out of it last night. Just wanted to sit with his mom and be a couch potato. Your prayers for him really worked. I don't care what anyone says, everyone that looked at him said it is a tumor, but it is not, it is going away, now that is prayers answered!!!
Feeling good today. This bloating is really getting on my nerves. I have to watch what I wear, and what I eat and drink. If I don't my clothes are just uncomfortable, and the food and drink just make it worse. I need for this to go away. I wouldn't mind it if there was a reason for it, this is the way I felt when I was pg, but I'm not even kidding myself about that. There is no way that has happened, and even if it had, it is too early to feel like this.
Oh well, the sun it out and it is beautiful here. Hope it is where you are too.
Teresa, I am so sorry about your poor foot. That is the worse when your feet hurt. I had to have an operation on mine last year to have a bone straightened. If your feet don't feel good it is really hard to feel good.
What is this about Mel, is she really, that would be so great if she were pg. I watch GH and Anna lost her baby to a heart disease (ok I know it is a soap), but it made me think of Mel. I just have cried for 3 days while watching.
I'm with Teresa, where is newmama1? Niki we worry about you when you are not here??? I will post a search to see if we can find you. OK I think the bloating has gone too my brain. Found your je. Hope af stays away. How long have you been hosting the Feb board? Just being noisey.
Lisa, just thinking of you in that beautiful FL sun.

Got to go, love you all.

And this is the end of my broadcast for today. Check in for more news tomorrow.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 wow really low, maybe the start of something?
TGIF,TGIF and on and on,
It is finally Friday. Yea!!!!!!!!
Nick got up feeling good this morning, he met me in the hall with his ball, and he hadn't even had his meds yet. I know it is going to be a good day when that happens.
I received my book that I ordered the other day. It is called Supernatural Birth. I almost read it all last night. Great book. I read the first couple of pages and had kinda of a hard time with it. I don't know why, but the more I read, the better it got. This man and woman weren't able to have babies, or I guess I should say carry babies. They invested everything in their faith and they now have 4 children. She never took any drugs while having them or anything. It is really hard to explain. I would love to have faith like them. The book was a real inspiration.
I believe in God, but I feel like I have almost my own thoughts of religion. I don't believe that people are bad because they are gay or because they drink or stuff like that. Don't get me wrong, I don't think drinking is a great thing, but I don't think some stuff that people are condimed for is right. I have alot of gay friends, and a few relatives. I have watched one friend almost kill himself because he was gay. He is one of the best people I know. I think God wants us all to just love each other, not put each other down, or judge. I take people by the way they treat me. What they do when they aren't around me, I could care less. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I don't see the problem.
Sorry to get on my box, I will step down now. Sorry again.
We are going to the Knoxville Concert tomorrow. Yea!!!! Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flats here I come. There are going to be alot of other acts there, but they are the ones I am really going to see. And they will be performing in one of my favorite places, University of Tennessee Neyland Stadium. GO VOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weather isn't too pretty, but I know for a fact that I don't melt in the rain.
Well I know I really rambled today, so I will wrap it up.

Newmama1 I can't really help you with your chart, but I am sure someone will be able to. Have you checked with the chart board. I hope you get to feeling better, Have a wonderful weekend!!!!
Parker, I hope your spirits get lifted also. I just hate to hear you talk so down. Let me know if I can do anything!!!
Teresa, you never seem to stop amazing me. Like I told you months ago, you are our inspiration!!!!!
Lisa, still missing you.

To the rest of you wonderful women, here's praying that all our prayers are answered. I know they will.
I hope if anyone reads this, that book is really good, everyone should read it that is looking for guidance or something to believe in.

Love you all,
Peace out!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Monday 97.3 Today 97.6.
Man, I am having some major problems with getting on the boards. It takes me forever to get into one of the boards, not to mention posting to one of them. Yesterday I just gave up. I am so busy now that I am the only indian surrounded by so many chiefs. I only have a couple of minutes at a time to post, now this is making is really difficult. I just wish we could do something about it. I don't seem to have problems with my computer at home, but I don't have stupid AOL either at home.
OK enough of the negativity.
Mom is going in for some test today. She had to wear a heart monitor last week, in which she told us nothing about!!! She has to have a us and an ekg on her heart. I am kinda scared, but I am going to stay positive, Positive energy has to be better for her than negative. Please pray for her.
OH yeah, my good news, AF came Saturday!!!!!!!!! I am so happy, I am on cd 4. On the road again, sing with me!!
I have figured, if I o between the days of cd 12-15 I have a great chance of catching that big old eggy. It really seems like a omen. Those are the only days dh and I are going to be able to bd. He is going to Scout Camp 15-18, he will be back the night of the 18th, and then I leave on the 22 and will be gone till 26th. Talking about a close call.
I told you about that book I have read, Supernatural Childbirth. In the book Jackie talks about having faith to chase away the negativity and fear. I really think it works. My dh has a thing about driving and thinking he can stop on a dime. It really scares me sometimes. I don't say anything because I hate backseat drivers. I tested my faith Saturday. We were driving that big old van to go to the concert and he did it. It like to have scared me to death. Next time I tried the faith thing. You know I didn't have a problem with it the rest of the trip. I have also been telling myself what a wonderful pg I am going to have and I have faith that this will happen soon. POSITIVITY!!!!
If nothing else it makes me feel better about things.
I have so much work to do, I have to go.
Babyfan1234, You go girl, I am so glad you got that BFP!!!!!!
Parker, Your dh must be great, I hope you had a great and relaxing time at the beach. I am just so sorry you are having such a bad time.
Newmama1, I hope you get some good news from your Dr. I am thinking of you.
Teresa, how are things girly?? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Just remember, this is our summer!!!!!
Lisa, we miss you!!!

Type at ya later!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 today. Look-i-n Good!!!
I have such high hopes for this mo. I just know that af came early so that we had that chance of catching that eggy. I just know when I come back from Cancun, I am going to take that test and BAM. BFP. It's going to happen if I have any say in it.
The sun is beautiful today, but it is suppose to rain later, oh well, like they say you have to take the rain with the sun.
I am so glad the board is faster, not really fast but better. At least I am able to catch up on the days I have missed. I was really getting upset.
Mom when for her test yesterday. A week from today, she is going to have an Angioplasty, (I have no idea how to spell that). I probably will not be able to post that day. I will spend the entire day at the hospital. Girls I really need for you to pray for her. I just don't know what I would ever do if my mom wasn't around. Can you believe that when she called, she said for me not to be upset. She is the one we should be worried about being upset. But that is my mom. She is always putting everyone in front of her own needs. One day I am going to be like her. Maybe when the baby comes. I pray.
I have alot of work to do.
Lisa, I am so glad you are back. We missed you so much. I am so sorry that af came. I was so hoping I was going to be able to keep her busy. Let's catch that eggy next mo. Sounds like a plan.
Teresa, I am so glad you all got a go for dh. I hope you all figure out when to have the surgery. I know you can be very creative when you want to be. I have faith in you. I still like the washing machine story. He he. I am rooting for ya girl!!! I know you can do it.
Prayer so all the TTCers and mommies to be.

And I am outa here!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 again today. Talking about a straight line. Ohwell, that is how the charting business goes.
Wow what storms we had here last night. Really did some damage. It looks like a tornado went through Chattanooga. I was really surprised, where I live which is about 15 miles as the crow flies, it was a bad storm but nothing like hit here. When I came to work this morning I was amazed. I know Kelly said she was at Riverbend, Kelly you are very lucky that you all faired that well. I just work on the other side of the river from were they hold Riverbend and massive tree up rooted, major mess, I am glad you all are ok.

Another beautiful day, but they say some of the same type storms are going to be moving in tonight.
We are suppose to go to my dh sister's boys crossing tonight. He is a tiger cub in the Cub Scouts, they are suppose to hold it outside, we will see.

I asked my boss if he had brought it up about me getting more money. He said that he tried to bring it up yesterday, but couldn't get it in. I will not do all this work for nothing.

Well I have alot of work to do.
Teresa, I am still giving you my Baby dust, don't give up until that ugly AF shows
Lisa, still waiting to see how the Dr. appt. went.

Prayers to all the ttcers and mommies to be.

When you gotta go you gotta go!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.4 this morning. Yeah, TGIF TGIF
I am so glad it is Friday. I don't think I could take another day in this place. I am so tired of working. Yea, yea isn't everyone.

OK enough crying. :crybaby:

Yeah it's Friday, oh I said that already.

Going up to Mom and Dad's for Father's day. DH is heading to camp Sunday and will be back Wednesday, and that is when the fun begins. AF is officially gone. For 9 mo I hope. We are just going to bd ourselves silly Wed-Sat. I will get pg again, this mo. I will. I just know that is why AF came earily and DH isn't going to have to stay the whole week at camp. I just can't wait.

We will bd tonight and tomorrow just for fun.

I only have to work 4 days next week, I will be off Wednesday for Moms procedure. The next week Cancun. Yeah!!! and then the next week is the 4th. Wow 3 weeks and not a full work week. I think I can handle that.

Speaking of work, better get to it.

I love you all.

Teresa, I am so sorry you are stressing. I will pm you later.
Lisa, saw your posting, where are you? Pm you later.

Love and prayers to all the ttcers and mommies to be.

And that's all folks!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sat. 97.7, Sun 97.3 Today 97.1. OK I have at least 2 more days I need this temp to stay down. I like to have scared myself to death this morning. I woke at my reg. time and temped. 97.1 but I was freezing, I went and got another blanket and went back to sleep. Later I woke again, only had been 1 1/2 since I last woke. I woke at my reg time to get up and temped, it was 98.1, I about paniced but then noticed I had only been asleep barely an hour. Wow what a scare. Usually when my temp goes to 98.1, o is over.
Had a great weekend. Just kinda bummed around with dh Saturday, Sunday got him off to camp, but not before some practice. I got 2 practice sessions in this weekend, just incase. After he left, I went to my parents. Stayed there until 8 last night.
Nick isn't feeling very good, but I think it is because he had such a good day Saturday. He ran and played and chewed on his bones all day long. I figured his jaw would be sore Sunday, and boy was it. He had all the attention. Everyone felt sorry for him and babied him. This morning he didn't get out of bed, but he ususally doesn't if dh isn't home.
I sure wish Wednesday was over. It really makes me nervous about Mom's procedure. I am sure she will be just fine. If you are reading this please pray for her.
Well I better go.
Newmama1, sure hope this week is better than last. Wow they should have given you a discount at the hospital for being there so much!!! Hope everyone is feeling better.
Teresa, I am worried about you. I read you je this morning. Have you tested?? I just want to know you are OK.
Lisa, glad af is gone, looking forward to all of us catching that eggy this time.

On to another long, but good week!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.5 right on track. I have printed a copy of my pg chart and I am plotting my progress with red on it. It is really simular. I have been staying .1-.3 difference on most days. But the way it is moving, it is very simular. I just hope it follows it on through.
I only have one more day till dh gets home and the game begins, no more practicing, we are in the game. Wed-Sat is the 9 inning and the bases are loaded. I envision a homerun!!!!!!!!! And the crowds roar!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok enough of the daydreaming. I know I am getting ready to O, because, "I'm in the mood for love la la la la la". My temps look good and my cervix seemed softer this morning, but still low. I just know it, this is it!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok enough already.
I probably will not post tomorrow unless we get away from the hospital early. I don't know how long those things take, but I'm not going to leave until they tell me that Moma is going to be just fine. And I know that is what they are going to tell me.
I need all of your prayers, please.
DH just called, he has been having a hard time getting a signal on top of the mountain. He will call and get about one sentence out and he is gone. I need to tell him to say I Love You first thing so at least I would get to hear that. But I haven't gotten enough time to tell him that. It's ok, he will be home tomorrow.
Boy, I am going to miss you all so much next week. Maybe the hotel will have an internet. I will ask, but I will be back Thursday and I am off Friday. I will catch up then. I am still going to miss you all, not as much as I will miss dh and the hair ones, but I will miss you all!!!!!!!!!!
I better get off of here.
Lisa, Wow 3 lbs in one week, you are doing great. I went and bought a bathing suit to cover all my new puggy places. The Dr. wants me to eat 3 meal a day, I bet I have gained 5-10 lbs, but it will all be worth it in the end. You keep up the good work. I am so excited for you oing next week. I really hate that I will not be here to root you on. I know you will catch that eggy, I just know it. Stay positive. You go girl.
newmama1, I am so sorry you are so stressed. Tell everyone to leave you alone!!! I just hate to hear you talking about wanting to curl up and die. You couldn't we all need you. I like keeping up with your je, but my favorite part is the end, where I get to see that great picture of you when you were pg. It makes me smile, you look so happy, and your baby's picture is adorable. Ok sorry to go on and on. Please get to feeling better, let me know if I can help at all.
Teresa, I have laughed at you all day. I love your upbeat outlook. Keep it up!!!

Prayers to all the ttcers, and mommies and especially to my buds, Teresa, Lisa and newmama1. Just remember this is our summer!!

She's at the 15, the 10 the 5 and touchdown. She is doing the baby dance. You go girl, you go!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wed. 98.0 Thurs. 98.1. I just have a few minutes.

Mom had to have a triple by pass yesterday. I have been so scared. We thought at the worse she would have to have a balloon or stint. They took the breathing tube out a little after 11 last night. This morning she is doing wonderful. I will never get that image of my mine of Mom laying there with all those tubes and wires coming out. Sorry so short.

Please pray for my mom.

Hoping I can get a bding in tonight. Last night just too stressed. Hope I didn't miss my chance, but I think I am primed for tonight. My cervix is high and have alot of creamy cm. I know TMI. I am hoping the stretch stuff is on its way.

Prayer to Teresa, Lisa, and newmama1 and all the ttcer and mommies to be.

Again, still need so many prayers for mom!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.4 wow what a jump. Not sure what is going on. All 3 charts say something different. I really think I oed yesterday, but I have cm and a high cervix today also. We will see.
I am going to stay with Mom tonight. So I have to go home and pack, and do the dirty with dh. I am not taking any chances, I plan on getting in alittle tomorrow before I go. I am certain that I didn't o on Wednesday, yeah!!!!!
Mom should get to come home tomorrow, I will be so glad, and I know she will be also. She has done so great, the drs and nurses say that she is doing so good. They are really surprised to find out that she is 60, (she doen't look like it), and they are surprised at her energy. This whole experience has been really wild. It has been 2 days, and I swear it feels like a month.
I have so much work to do before the end of the day. :director:
I better go,
Thanks for all the support, and prayers for Mom and the family. They really worked. Like I said in a posting, If there is anyone that doesn't believe in miracles, you just come and talk to my family!!

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, newmama1, all the ttcers and mommies to be.

Love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Till next week!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

o8 97.7

I'm back, crazy stuff going on with board, can't get to all the sites and then some of them throw me out right in the middle. When I left the board was just wizzing, what happened???
Oh well, my temps have been all over the place. I know it is because I have been on vacation and not in my waterbed. One night I woke up freezing and my temps went way down, another night I woke up sweating and my temps went down again. I know that I oed before I left, I am just hopeing that those little guys did their jobs. I know they did. I read my "Supernatural Childbirth" again, I get more positive everytime I read it.
I have been trying to catch up on everyone, but with the board being so slow I am having a hard time, I have too much to do, just getting home and all.

I had a wonderful time. I just wish dh would have been there with me, missed him and the hairy ones terribly. I never want to take another vacation without him.

It really makes me feel good that you all missed me. I missed you all so much.

Teresa I am so sorry you are so bummed about the job, it really sounded like it was right down your ally, but you would be good at any job you choose!!! You are just so talented. You just have to believe that you made the right chose for you and DH.
Newmama1, I just hate to hear you so down. You are such a special person, you need to remember that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let me know if I can help you in anyway. Thinking of you.
Lisa, you go girl, I know you can do it.

Love to you all, I missed you so much. We can do anything as long as we stay together. Think positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa and newmama1, all the ttcer and mommies to be.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 this morning, really cramping this month and really really heavy flow. YUCK!!!!
I really dread going to work tomorrow, I just know that I will be working 2 weeks to catch up for last week. I talked it over with dh and he said for me not to stress just to do what I can do and if they don't like it to tell them they can find someone else. The most important thing right now is ttc. We are really going to give it our all this month. I feel like af came early for a reason, so we would have a fighting chance to really do it right this month. AND WE WILL!!!!. I really makes me feel good that he is behind me like that.
We went to Mom and Dad's today. Mom was really tired. It is really weird to see her like that. My Mom is usually only sitting down for minutes at a time. Today she didn't get up but a few times and we were there for 5 hours. I really hope she is taking care of herself like she is supose too. She goes back to the Dr. Thursday.
Thank you girls for all your prayers, they really worked.
Teresa, I missed you too. I talked about you while we were on vacation. My cousins said wow it is like you all are best friends, I told them it is not like we are, we are. I told them how much you have helped me get through this last 6 months and taught me how to take care of myself, let myself feel the grief and then look to the future. They are just amazed by all that I have learned from you, Lisa and the other girls.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dh is outside working, he told me to go inside and try to catch up.
I feel bad about leaving him working while I am in here smiling and catching up. I am going back out.
I will be back to my ole posting tomorrow.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, newmama1, all the ttcer and all the mommies to be.
Here's to a new month.
Let me hear Everyone Scream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 this morning.
I have tried all day to write my je. I was so so so busy. I don't think I will ever get caught up. I did really well not letting it get to me. Or I thought I did. By the time I got home I had a killer headache. I think it may just be a sinus headache. I am real close to taking my migraine meds. I am still being visited by af so I don't feel bad about taking meds.
I have a very good feeling about this coming month. I would love to have an April baby. I originally planned on having a spring baby. I went off my bcpills last September. That was before I realized how much goes into ttc. I can't believe I wasted so much time before I found out the facts. Just think, I could already have my precious little one if I had only found this site earlier. Oh well, no use in crying over spilt milk. (Is there any such word as spilt??)
Well, I see that I have a pm, hope it is Teresa, or Lisa. I will type more later.
Love and prayers to Teresa, Lisa, newmama1, ttcers and mommies to be.
newmama1, I wish I could help you feel better. Your je just broke my heart. You will have that new baby!!! Just keep the faith, I have no idea how hard it must be to be in your shoes, but I hope maybe I can help you just a little. I don't think you should belittle your feelings compaired to others. Your hurt is just as real, I just hope you will let us help you through this hard time. Thinking of you!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 again, oh well. I don't think af is ever going away. This is the roughest af I have had since I went on bcpills. Long long time ago. I really think I will live. No really!!!
I came in a little early so I could do a je.
Rain rain go away, come again when we really need you. What is the deal with all this rain. Here I have this great tan and what does it do. It rains and who wants to get out in this crap.
Again, I really think Iwill live, no really!!
Am I being a buttwad or what this morning. Seems everything is on my nerves.
Ok enough, I feel better, just need to vent.
I am keeping my cousins poodle, which happens to be Lacey's baby and Pat's brother. They have all gone on bathroom strick. Even Nick which is really odd. He has never used the bathroom in my house until now. At least he went in the kitchen on the hard floor. I don't know what the deal is, maybe the rain or that Dumpin is visiting? I am going to have to figure something out. I am so sick of shampooing my carpets. I feel like my house smells. I can't stand that.
I need for this headache to go away.
Is there anything I haven't vented about this morning. Can you tell that I hate the week after vacation. Seems nothing is going right.
I am going to change things. As of this minute, everything is going right. I have had enought of this crapy crap. NO MORE!!!!
Teresa, I am so sad that you are feeling so crapy. I wish I had your drive. I would probably just go to bed and lay there till I felt better. How do you do it. I am hoping that when you get up it will all be better. I hope that the back pain is implantation. YEAH, would that be wonderful. That makes me feel better, see I told you as of this minute.
Lisa, where are you. I am going to pm you this morning. We miss you. Hope everything is good.
Newmama1 hope everything is better with this new day. Sending your EXTRA GOOD VIBES!!!!!!!!!
Well everyone is filing in.
Hope this is a good day for everyone. THINK POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!
Prayer to Lisa, Teresa, newmama1, ttcer and all the mommies to be.

And for the forcast, all happy days ahead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.5
Oh my holy cow, I can't see day light, I am lost behind these piles of papers, someone help.
I don't think I will ever get caught up. I just about cried this morning, then I thought, what in the crap am I so upset for. This is just paper work, mostly filing. It doesn't have a time set on it. I then calmed down. I thought I handled that very well!! DIDN'T YOU!!!!!! ha ha
I thought I was never going to get my je entered. I even came in early this morning and still didn't get it in.
Oh well.
It is about time to go home. AF is still hanging around, really really tired of her.
Everything is good, about time to go home and forget all about this terrible terrible place.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, newmama1, all the ttcer and mommies to be.
Sorry so short, really need to blow this joint.

Bye bye

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.4 ok I think this is the last day for AF. Please let her be gone, for approx 9 months. YEAH.
Long weekend, yeah!!!
My bro birthday is tomorrow. My ILs just got back into town and want to cookout. I told them it is my Bro birthday. They said let them know what time. Mom called last night and said she told Bro that we had other plans so she and Dad would take him out to eat for his birthday and we would have the family party Sunday, since my Uncle, Aunt and the girls will also be back. So does that mean that we are not invited tomorrow?? I told her that the IL would schedule around us, but maybe she didn't hear that part. It really made me feel bad. I need to call Bro and tell him what is going on.
Oh well.
Practice begins either tonight or tomorrow. I told dh to get ready.
"Aint no stoppin us now"
I am hoping 2 weeks from now that test will come out +++++++++
I need all the baby dust you girls can spare.

Teresa, have my fingers crossed, you too Lisa.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, newmama1(where are you), all the ttcers and mommies to be.

Maybe I will have a chance to type later.

Later gator!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I know I know this is my second post of the day. Do not read this unless you really really want too. Major venting going on.
I am so tired of everyone doing what they want to do and need to do but when I do, I am a bad person.
My bro's birthday is tomorrow, I told my mom that my IL were back and wanted to know if we would be at my Mom's all day because they wanted to cook out. She evidently did not hear what I said and only heard that the IL wanted to spend the 4th with us. She called last night and said that her and my father were taking my Bro out to eat for me to do whatever I was going to do. That hurt my feelings so bad. Out of all the people in my family, I am the one that never misses a birthday or other occasion, no matter what I have to do. I didn't have my family birthday on my birthday because everyone had something to do. I know people are busy and I have no problem with that, but when it comes to me, everyone gets mad. I have a life too. I shouldn't feel bad because of crap like this. I have always put my ILs on the back burner when it comes to my family. They don't even see that. It really makes me scared, what are they going to do when I have a baby. It is going to be all out war. That makes me sick to my stomach. What really bothers me is that I can't even talk to my Mom about this because of her surgery. I HATE THIS, IT ISN'T FAIR!!!!
I do not need this stress. Between my family, the job and ttc. Wow what is a peaceful life???? I am typing this so maybe I can get rid of this terribe feeling. It has made me feel better, a little.
Thanks for listening.
Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.7
I know i know it is only Sunday.
DH got up early to finish pressure washing the house before we had to take the pressure washer back.
I just had to make a je after reading ParkerA je. It just broke my heart. I wish I knew what to say to lift this burden she carries. I want to give her hope, but I can't do that. I do what to stress that we are all here for you ParkerA, you are such a special person and you so deserve the family you wish for. Miracles happen everyday, and I do believe that your own little miracle will happen. I just wish I could left you spirits and make you feel better.
I am sending ParkerA a special prayer.
Lotsa luck love and baby dust!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 and Monday, Monday, Monday.
OK so I hate Mondays.
We really got a good start on our practicing. Even Dh remembered that the practicing was to start this weekend. Even last night, we were so tired, but we had our practice session. This is going to be our month, I know it. Everything looks good and right on tract. I just am so ready to get this show on the road.
We have yet to turn on our Airconditioning. It really got hot here on Saturday, we went to turn on the Air and nothing. Dh is suppose to get one of the guys he works with to come and check it. I love hot weather and if it were up to me I would live most of the year without AC, but my hairy babies are so hot. I need air for them. I hope they get it fixed before long.
We had my Bro's family birthday party at my Granny's yesterday. This was the first time this year that all the family has been celebrating at Granny's. I thought it was nice. I went into the house and it was really really weird. I really felt like I could call her name and she would be there. In my head I knew she wasn't, but in my heart I felt her right there with us. I didn't tell anyone, I didn't want to upset anyone.
My father apologized to me about Friday. I told him it really wasn't just him, it was the whole week. Mom was really quite yesterday. I feel for some reason that she is mad at me. Even Dad asked her if she was OK. I want my Mom back the way she was. I know it will take time, but I want her back. I miss her!!!!
I am looking for that big O this week. Have had some o pains in my left side. We will see
Well everyone is coming in.
Newmama1, I am so glad you are feeling better.
ParkerA, I hope you are feeling better.
Teresa, I am praying for that BFP. I just know it is there for you. That would just be so great
Lisa, hope you caught that Big Eggy.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, Newmama1, ParkerA, all the ttcers and mommies to be.

And just to add, MONDAYS SUCK, but at least we are getting this one over!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.0, I think it was because I did not sleep 3 hours at a time. I kept waking up every 2 hours. Lacey decided we didn't need to sleep last night. Oh well.
We are off to a good start. Dh was late coming to bed last night. I thought, He is tired and doesn't want to bd tonight. I was getting depressed. When he came to bed the practice began. I was so happy. We are really going to do it this month. I just know it. We are right on schedule. I can't wait to be pg again. Just that feeling of hopefulness. I can't wait. I think dh is really wanting it to happen also. We were at the IL this weekend, all the little ones were there. Dh just got down in the floor with them and played. Everytime we go out there, he has to take a surprise to all of them. They say we give the best gifts. He just loves it. I know he will be such a great Daddy. I just can't wait. I have said that already haven't I. Oh well.
Teresa, I am so bummed about your BFN, but you said your temps are still up, I hope you are keeping your hopes up. It is far from over.
Lisa, have you tested yet. You said if Teresa does. We are waiting. I can't wait until you both announce your BFP!!!!
Newmama1, I am so glad you are back in better spirits. We are all on your side.

Well the boss just came in.
Prayers to Lisa, Teresa, Newmama1, all the ttcer and mommies to be. Hang in there everyone.

Prayers to the adjoined twins, their family and friends. My heart just dropped when I heard they died. We were all pulling for them. They must have been such special people to endure the way they did. They are in heaven now face to face.

Over and out!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

97.6 Seems to be my body's favorite number.
I didn't sleep well again last night. I kinda makes me sad because the only time I have ever had problems sleeping, exculding of coarse when something is wrong, is when I was pg.
I am waiting waiting waiting to o. I am thinking maybe tonight or tomorrow. I know my temp is down but my cervix is very high and very soft. Not much cm, but I have never had alot. I am praying with all I have that I am pg this mo. I just want this so bad I can smell it. I am so ready to get over this o hump. I know that the 2ww can be brutal, but this nothing wait is far worse I think. We are doing everything right and I just know this is it.
DH will be leaving this Sunday at 5:00 in the morning, I have to take him to the Airport. YUCK. I want to see him off but 5:00? Oh well. I really dread him being gone. It may be for the good. I will be worthless this next 2 weeks, and cranky and a witch all the way around. It is good that he will miss that sunny side of me.

Well I have alot of work to do, hope everyone has a wonderful day.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, I am still hoping that you guys get your wish, Newmama1 hope you are feeling good, all the ttcer and mommies to be.

And that is my broadcast for the day.

Just to add. YEAH Teresa, you did it. I am so happy for you. You have made my day.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.1 Looks like I am on 1DPO YEAH.
Teresa I am coming to join ya!!!!!
I was so high all day yesterday. Teresa got the BFP!!! I am so happy for her. I ran home and told DH, He said, that is great now you all can be pg together, which even made me feel even better, if that was possible. Teresa I am so so so happy for you. I just can't put it into words.
Last night dh came to bed late, and when I say late I mean 12:30. I was fast asleep. When he got into the bed and woke me up, I almost paniced. "We hadn't bded yet" I rolled over and it was very apparent that he was tired, I told him he should have come to bed earilier. He new we had to practice all this week. I almost got mad, but we bded and now I feel better. My temps went up so I guess I am on 1DPO, I hope I am not jumping the gun, but my cm is mostly dry, my cervix is lower and of coarse my temps. I was afraid that the air would mess with my temps. We got our Airconditioning fixed, it was really cool in our house. I thought oh no this is going to be a problem, but it wasn't. I so hope I am right about my o day. I am ready for the count down. I just know that it will be this mo.
I also woke up with a terrible sinus headache, my sinuses are draining and makes me feel like poop. But it is all good, I can deal with this.
I am waiting for Teresa to post again and tell us that the pg test was ++++ again. I can't wait.
Well the boss just walked up.
Prayer to Teresa, yeah Teresa, Lisa hope yours is going to be a BFP also, Newmama1, all the ttcers and mommies to be(Teresa that is you)

And the race is on!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.5 yesterday and 98.5 today. Wow what a day I had yesterday. I thought it would never end, but at the same time I had no time to get anything done. I got to check post every once in while, but I never had time to do my je. I hate that. DH is mowing right now so I thought this is my chance.
We got up this morning early, when to the landfill. We had to dump an old water heater from Granny's rental house. Then we went to an Estate Sale. It was a friend of Mom and Dad's parents house. I alway think that those things are so sad. Here you are gone and now strangers are going through your stuff. Wow. Really makes you want to clean your house good. The people were really good people and as far as I knew they were religous. One of my friends and her twins found some frogs. They looked normal until you turned them over and they were suited with all their parts, if you know what I mean. We laughed. I told the girls to show them to everyone that comes to their house and tell them, "Look this is what Mom bought us". He he
I have a little tingling in my bb. I look at that as a good sign. I really think this is going to be our month. I just don't think I will be able to wait until Dh gets home to test. But if I test and it is BFP I will have to wait anyway, I want him to be the first to know.
As soon as he gets back, we are going to start remodeling. I can't wait, really ready to get this place in shape.
I am so sorry and upset that Teresa's BFP turned on her. That really suck big ones. I wish I knew what to say to make her understand how bad I feel. Out of all of us, I think she deserves the BFP the most. She has seen more heart ache that most of us put togeter. Dang it she deserves this!!!!
Lisa, I sure wish I knew if you knew anything yet. We need some good news. From your je I see that you tested. I am so sorry it came back BFN. I don't understand. You are always right on time. I am still praying that you will be the one that lifts our spirits. You go girl. I am cheering for you. :kaos3: :kaos3: :kaos3: :kaos3: :kaos3: :kaos3: :kaos3:
Newmama missing your jes.
Prayers to Lisa, Teresa, newmama1, all the ttcer and mommies to be.

Hang in there girls, here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :kaos16:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.2 this morning. Yeah it is me back on Sunday. Can you tell dh is gone. I will probably be on here every night this and next week. He has hardly been gone 16 hours and I already miss him. i don't like my own company, and miss him terribly.
I went back to the Estate Sale today, I had my eye on a beautiful rocker. I put a bid in on it, but someone beat me out. I could just picture myself rocking my precious little one in that rocker. Oh well. I did buy a baby monitor. You know one of those things that you can go anywhere in the house and listen to the baby. I got it for $5.00, and it was brand new. We couldn't even tell if it had been taken out of the box. Yeah for me. I was planning on buying one and this one cost $37.50 in the stores. I also bought some Christmas ornaments. This couple would make them and paint them theirselves. They are beautiful.
I plan on getting this house back into shape in the next two weeks. Something needs to be done.
I will need something to do to keep my mind off the next two long weeks. I told my cousin that I was waiting for her to call about having a dream about me being pg. She was the one that dreamed that I was pg last time. I tested the next day and +++.
I want to be pg this mo so bad. I really feel like I have a perfect chance.
I went into my Dad's garage today to get my hairy one's pin. He is redoing the family high chair. I just stood and stared at it. It was the most gorgeous thing I have seen and it wasn't even started. I can't wait until we get to use it.
Oh well, enough dreaming
Teresa, I am so glad you are doing so well. You are going in the right direction. I don't know what I would have done without God in my life. I know I have mentioned the book "Supernatural Childbirth" it really is an excellant book. I am still working on my faith. I have a long way to go, but I am coming along. I really think you would enjoy it.
Lisa, just dying to hear from you.
Hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend. Looking forward to reading all about them.
Prayers to Lisa, Teresa, Newmama1, all the ttcer and mommies to be.

Just to add in advance.

MONDAYS SUCK!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.6 5dpo. Here i am. I miss DH so much. I really sucks knowing that I am not going to hear his voice for 12 days. This is the first time since we met that we have gone this long without talking. I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :protest:
I sure wish these next 2 weeks would go by fast. I was thinking of working Saturday, we will see. I just hate to give this place any more of my time. I just can't get caught up! I think if maybe I could spend a day without anyone wanting anything I could knock this stuff out. I just hate to give them my own time.
I am going to start on my house tonight. I will take it one room one day at a time. Surely that way I can get something done. :laughing4:
My bb are tender, not too bad, but tender. I am having twinges in my lower belly. I really reminds me of when I was pg. I know it is way too early to be feeling anything, but that is what it reminds me of. Things like this really make be miss being pg. I know I was only pg for a short time, I remember every litte thing about it. I remember how it felt, the happiness, I treasured every moment. Maybe I am one the road again. I pray I am.
I better get back to work. That is all I need is to fall further behind.

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, Newmama1, all the ttcers and mommies to be.

:evil: Mondays ugh!! :evil:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.5 today 6dpo. Still having those little pains. I try not to let them worry me.
I went on line and went into the chat room last night. That is the first time I have done that. I really had a good time. I kinda felt out to place. Seems everyone was either younger (alot) or pg. So what's new huh!!! They were so nice through, I had a good time.
I would really love to get on the chat with some of you girls, I didn't know any of those girls. It is just nicer if you have an idea about who the other person is.
I chated instead of cleaning, BAD ME!!! I had a dream that my family came over to start our new expansion. I was horrified. My Mom is a neat freak. I thought she was going to have a heartattack. Maybe that is a sign that I need to get to get off my big old bumm!!! YA THINK!!!!
I better get to work.
Shari, My prayers are with you girl.
Teresa, hope AF goes away soon. Sorry she is being such a witch this month.

Prayer to Teresa, Lisa, Shari, newmama1 (missing you lately), all the ttcers and mommies to be.

And she is on the 11 yard line. Fans I think she is going for it. Will it be a TD? And the crowd cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.3 that better get back up. I had somemore of those twinges last night. I wish I knew what they were.
I am just so tired today. I have no energy. I could just lay down at any time and fall asleep. I think it may be because my blood suger dropped this morning. It was really odd. All I was doing was leaving the house for work. All of sudden it hit.
I know it may be early, but this happened last time. I had no idea I was pg. I was also so tired. I am hoping that this is it. The twinges do bother me though. Not going to dwell on it. I NEED A NAP!!!!!
Mel, my best friend that I mentioned a while ago in my je is in. She called and wanted to know if I wanted to go grab a bite to eat. She is still at her Grandmothers in GA, but will be back today. I told her to call me. I'm not going to hold my breath, but it would really be nice to see her.
I got on the Chat last night again. Teresa was on there. I really enjoyed talking to her. There were way too many people on there for me. I would post a response and by the time I hit enter I was a page behind. I talked to a really nice girl yesterday, I think it was at lunch or when I got home. I am so tired Idon't remember. She was so nice. SHe was really young. 21 I think. We had a really nice chat. It is really hard to tell some of these ladies apart. I guess I will just have to get to know them better. I thought that about the boards at first also.
Well, I better get some work done.
T, I am so sorry you are still down. I thought I was having DaShaVo. I know I didn't spell that right. (Just sound it out). I wish I could help you out of this funk. But I know from experience, it just takes time to sort things out. Girl I am here for you. You just let me know if I can help. I would so love to get on a chat with you and Lisa. Just let me know when you feel like it.
Lisa, hope that old af is gone by now. I am so glad that you and Teresa are at the same point in your cycles. I remember when I was in the same as you. It really helped having some one go all the way through with you.
Newmama1 where are you??? WE miss you.
Parker, so glad to see you posting. We missed you.
Kelly, I am so sorry that you are feeling so down. I really hated to hear that you have said goodbye to you buds on 7+, I will miss your je, but at least you will update us weekly right? Please let me know if I can help in any way. Take care of yourself!!!!
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, Newmama1, the ttcers and mommies to be.

And she is at the 9, will she make it. Please tune in later.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.4 a little better. I am so ill today. I had problems with my stupid computer yesterday. I bet it locked up on me a dozen times. UGH!!!! Today doesn't look much better.
I do have some good things going on. Yesterday I walked into our other office. I have to make a run over there everyday to pick stuff up, and Nancy the lady that works in there. As soon as I walked through the door said, "Are you Pg" I looked at her and said I don't know why. She said there is just something about you. I so hope she is right. This next week is going to be a killer. If I didn't have my journal and Teresa, Lisa and all the girls to talk too I would go insane.
I am going to eat with my best friend tonight. I call her my best friend, I guess I should call her one of my oldest friends. We have been best friends since 5th grade. Up until she got married, and everything changed. I hate it. You could tell the distance between us when we talked on the phone last night. Oh well, we will have a good time tonight!
It is unbelievable how much I miss DH. If it weren't for my Hairy babies, I probably wouldn't go home. I miss him so much. I want him home NOW. I am going to tell him this is it. No more. I don't mind these week trips, but these 2 week trip are too much. It will not happen again if Ihave anything to do with it.
Am I being a witch today or what? I am just so tired. I even get more tired looking at all this mess on my desk. Nancy is going to come over this afternoon and try to help me. So I probably will not get a chance to be on line alot.
I have to go and dig through this crap.
Sorry so ill. I am trying to get better, typing in my je usually helps, and it has alittle.
I will be my happy little self when dh gets home and I see that BFP sign. Please pray for me!!!! I need all the prayers I can get.

Love you all
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, Newmama1, all the ttcers, and mommies to be. Oh and not to forget Yeah Shari, You go girl, and Nicky too. You girls are inspirations to us stuck in ttc land.

She is on the 8 yard line, people I think she is going to make it. Go girl go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

WARNING MAJOR VENT. :fu2:
98.1 This morning need I say more. I woke up freezing. The waterbed felt like it had no heat. I checked to see if was working, seemed to be. I don't care if that is what caused my temps to go down, it still really bothers me.
Nick is being a major brat. I think he misses his dad. I don't know what else it could be. He is usually my best baby. He usually listens and does everything right. The last few nights he has gotten me up at 4:30 to go outside to just wonder around. He is eating everyones food, and he knows better than that. Yesterday I let him out when I got home. I called and called. I started to panic I put my shoes on and started searching. He was nowhere. I was starting to run around like a crazy person, then all of a sudden, here he came out of the woods with his head hung. He knew he had been bad. I just don't know what to do with him????????
I am so tired of being by myself. I want dh home and I want him home now. I am so tired of doing everything on my own and alone. This is the end of the long trips, unless it is work and he absolutely has to go. I am going to tell him he better not step forward when they ask who wants to go on the next job. He doesn't want me to get angry. I not nice when I get angry!!!!!
THIS JOB SUCKS. I am so tired of everything being DUMPED on me. I am doing the acct reconciling. I have no idea what I am doing. No one will help. (I'm not sure if any of them know) Everyone comes to me what is this, why did this happen, where is this. I HAVE NO IDEA!!!!
I need the weekend to get here and I need for it to be here now!!
I am so sorry to be this negative, I just feel like I am going to blow up, and no one could give a rat's butt.
I can't do this much longer. I just don't know what to do??
I don't feel in the least pg. I am afraid that I have missed this mo. I will probably just sit down and die. I need this!!!!!!!!
I hate having negative feelings, I want to be happy. I just don't know what to do??

Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, Newmama1, all the ttcers and mommies to be.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow am I sorry for that moaning and groaning this morning!!! That just wasn't me. I feel alot better now. Mainly because I am away from the pit of hell. At least I did make some head way this week. I think with Nancy's help I may be able to get that office back in shape. Maybe things will go more smooth.
I felt of my waterbed when I got home, it is still cool. I am going to sleep on a blanket tonight, maybe that will help! I hope.
I went on the chat line. Not a single person on it. It is very sad when you are the only person in a chat room on a Friday night. Wha. He he. I only have one week and a day before dh gets home. I can't wait.
I think I may test on Wednesday. I was going to wait, but I was just thinking, if I am pg I need to get to the Dr. that way maybe I can get to the Dr. and have answers by the time dh gets home. Please put a little prayer in for me.
Newmama, thank you so much for your pm today. That was the little get over yourself that I needed today. You are so special, I hope your diet goes well. Let me know how the weigh in goes on Monday. You have such determination, you will do great.
I will problaby be checking in all night, yes I have no life. Thank you!!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.6 YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No real symtoms, just tired, not even any sore bb, but that didn't come along until after BFP. Maybe this is a good sign.
Yea, it's me on a Saturday night. I checked the chat room. There were about 4 girls on but no conversation going on. What's up with that???
I have been so productive today I just cannot stand myself. I put my new curtain and rods up, I cleaned 2 rooms, I finally got around to getting all of Granny's feista ware out and displayed it. It really looks pretty. I washed my car and all the cloths washing. I have no idea where all this energy came from. I think it is just from not having to go to that hell hole.
I also went shopping, I bought 4 outfits. I was getting so depressed, everything I put on was either too small or tight. The Dr. doesn't want me to lose any weight. He wants me eating 3 meals a day. I am getting bigger and bigger, I have gained 10 lbs since Feb. He said I am just now looking healthy. I know I always wanted to stay skinny, and maybe I was alittle bit. WELL NOT NOW!!!! I bought nice outfits. I think well, If I get pg, I will be able to wear the outfits the rest of the summer and next summer. It will probably take a while to get my weight back down after I have the baby. Yes I am trying to make myself feel better for spending that money. I will feel better when I wear them, it is worth it. I think anyway.
Well better go play with the hairy ones or they will not sleep good tonight. 4 days until I test. I need some major Baby Dust, please.

Prayer to Lisa, Teresa, Newmama1, all the ttcer, and mommies to be.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.2 12dpo. 98.2 What is up with that???
Just before I get started, I HATE MONDAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BB started getting sore yesterday, I have an af feeling this morning.
I am thinking that this may not be my mo. I don't see how, but maybe not. I have kinda made my self feel alittle better thinking maybe it is inplantation dip, who knows. I will not give up till I see AF period. Ha ha get it period ha ha. Just trying to have a little bit of humor about all this.
Had a pretty good weekend. Got alot accomplished Saturday and Nothing Sunday. I spent all day in Dayton Sunday. Very relaxing. I am so ready for this week to be over with.
Not much else to report. Hope you all had a wonderful weekend.
Lisa hope the Dog Show went well!!!
Teresa, hope you are feeling better
Newmama1, did you weigh?? I hope you lost what you wanted!!
Boss looking at my computer, got to go Prayer to everyone

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Just had to add.
T, I am praying for you and your Granny. I know how precious Grannys are!!! I hope your foot also gets better. That just hurt me reading that.
Newmama1, I just know that scale is going to give you some good news.
Guys, Teresa, Lisa and everyone, thank you so much for giving me the strength to wait until Wednesday to test. I don't know what is wrong with me. I know it will probably be a BPN, but I am still hanging on the chance that is BFP. I just can't stand the thought of another mo. But if so, I will make it and if not this mo, then next mo!!
Thanks again girls, you all are wonderful
Teresa, set up another chat session!!!!SOON!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

98.0, and that is not good. Today has not started good. I am tired of having these days. First I woke up and that crummy temp, then I was late to work, then when I opened my email the first email was ppmail. Congrats, you are 17 weeks. I could have just sat here and cried. Not a good day to see that.
I can't make up my mind if I am still going to test. I keep telling myself that I am still above the line, but I have never had these low of temps this early. My hopes of being pg this month are dwindling. I am trying to hard not to get depressed. I would say ok, not a big deal if I knew that we bded on the right day. That is what bothers me. My temps were also doing well until I started having those small cramps. I don't know maybe just maybe.
I just have a since of dread, I hate having these feelings. You know like you are waiting for something bad to happen.
I could look at it like this, I am a May baby, I have enjoyed being a May baby all my life. If I am not pg this mo then if I get pg next mo I will have a May baby. I wouldn't mind that. I need happy thoughts, it is just hard when I go home there is no one there, just me and the hairy ones. I need dh!!!!
Only 4 days and he will be home.
Unless I get af in the next 24 hours, I will probably test in the morning, unless I wake and my temps are really low, in that case it would be like throwing $$ out the window. We will see
I NEED LOTS OF PRAYERS and baby dust.
I was in tears this morning when I read Teresa's posting. That poor family. Seeing the pictures of him and his family. I just couldn't image. I don't want to even think about it.
My prayer go out to the family.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, Newmama1, all the ttcers and mommies to be.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LOTS OF BABY DUST FOR DAYNA!!!!!!

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