97.7 Today. Had a pretty good weekend. Didn't want it to end. I just dreaded coming to work, but it really hasn't been that bad this morning. Knock on wood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This board is on my last nerve. I have been kicked off about 4 times already this morning. I really don't understand the problem, and I don't think anyone else can either.
OK, I am feeling better, just need to feel myself again. Maybe after my Dr. appt and Nick's appt Friday, I will feel better. I just have a feeling of dread. I just can't kick it. Maybe a vacation will do, but I don't want to schedule one until I know what Nick's future holds. I am so afraid for him. I just wish he would show some improvement, anything. He does really well as long as he is on his pain meds, but if he misses a dose, he goes back to bed and doesn't want to get up. I just can't stand the thought of something happening to him. He is my cuddle buddy and I really think he loves me as much as I do him. He is one of the few dogs I have ever known that just has love ozzing out of him. He craves it and loves to give it. Everyone that knows him just loves him. He does tricks if you will not pay attention to him, or he just sits as close as possible.
OK, anyway, I think I oed this weekend. I was having pains in my left side. Me and dh got back into the grove. If you know what I mean. I feel like my body is coming back go life, and maybe I will follow pretty soon. We took no precautions, but I did get up and go to the bathroom soon after. I know TMI.
I crave to have a baby inside me again. I know it cannot replace Little Bit, but I need that feeling again. I need to look forward to the future, not dread it. I want to live life again, I want to want to go out, I want to want to see people. I think it will come someday very soon. I just know it.
I haven't heard from Mel, I know noone wants to listen to a person cry constantly. I really thought maybe she wanted to be close again. Maybe she has just been busy. I am good at jumping to conclusions lately.
Well, I have bored you enough.
Love and prayers to Teresa, Lisa, all ttcers and mommies to be. And newmama, thanks for the mention in you je, it really means alot when others think of you.
Better get to work,
OH yeah, the sun is out, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
97.6 this morning.
I went to the Dr. this morning. He said everything looked good and sees no reason why I can't start ttc again. He said he wishes that I would wait until I got my first AF. Like I said I will not try, but I'm not going to try to prevent either. I do feel better about things.
I went into the Dr. office, and of course, everyone is pg, even the ones that you can't tell, are also pg. I did ok, I went back and peed in the cup and they sent me to this little waiting room. There were 2 ladies talking, one was pg and the other had just had twins. The lady that was pg was saying that she was spotting, I just about went into tears right there. I couldn't talk, I just wanted to run over to her and tell her it was OK, but I just sat there. THEN, I could hear these women coming down the hall, very loud. Oh my cow, it was one of the girls that use to run around with the crowd that DH use to hang with. She is very loud, very obnoxious and cusses like a sailor. They send her into the waiting room with 3 other friends she brought along. I smiled just to be friendly, she just gave me the do I know you look. I know she knew who I was. SHE IS PG. She is not married, which isn't that big of a deal, but I can't believe that she would have a baby much less raise a baby on her own. Of all people she is one of the ones that I would never think of. She picks up this book and starts pointing to pictures and saying OMG, this is what I am going to look like. She was making so much fun, I almost had to leave the room.
When the nurse came and got me, I thanked her and went to my room. NOW THAT IS WHAT IS NOT FAIR ABOUT ALL OF THIS!!!!!!
Well enough negativity, I am going to be positive from here on out. Or I am going to try so hard. Positivity is what helped get me pg last time, I am going to try it again.
A special prayer to newmama1. I hope your cycles stay short and you get that eggy before long.
Prayers to Teresa hope she catches that eggy before the surgery.
Prayers to Lisa, Hope your vacation goes great. We are going to miss you while you are gone, but glad your are getting this time away. Hope you catch that eggy. Just stay positive.
I am praying and cheering for all of you and the rest of the ttcers and the mommies to be.
I pray it will not be long before we get to join the mommies to be.
OH yea, it is absolutely beautiful today here, who can be negative on a day like this.
Please pray for my baby Nick, pray we get some type of good news Friday.
Over and out.
97.5 today. This is my second post. I am so tired of being kicked out on theses boards.
Ok I am going back to the positive thinks I typed before it erased all of it.
I have found the reason for all my bad luck. I was sitting in my swing looking at the garden and suddenly realized that my turtle was gone. (A turtle in the northern most part of you garden brings you good luck). I looked around and there it was, dh was using it in the garden for a sprinkler(my turtle is also a sprinkler). I ran into the house and got another turtle and placed it in its place. It is working, first of all I got great news at the Dr. The next one is good and bad, according to how you look at it, one of my bosses quite, they are not going to replace him so they are going to give us more $$$$. More work but more money. We are needing it for our remodeling. YEAH. Tomorrow will be the big test. I know Nick's test are going to come back great, but I will be happy and thankful if we have a treatment. I just know it will come out in Nick's favor.
I am trying to figure out when to go on vacation. The weeks that I am sure I will not be Oing, I can't go. I guess I will have to take the chance that I will go at the right time. Because see if I don't get that egg in June, DH will be gone for 16 days in July. That pretty much rules out July. I may just have to do with August. That just sounds so far away. I really feel in my heart that we will get it on the first try. I am just enjoying having this feeling of hope. It has been so long. I was almost certain that I oed last weekend, but now with my temps, I'm not so sure. Who knows, just hard to make plans with not knowing.
I am feeling so much better today, the sun is shining and it truely is a beautiful day.
AND THAT IS A GOOD THANG!!!!!!!!!!
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, all the ttcers, and mommies to be.
Kelly-Kellylusk, I just hate to hear you down on yourself. You are a special and beautiful person. I you need any help remembering that ask anyone on the board. Keep your spirits up!!!!
Lisa, Hope you have a wonderful long vacation. I am so excited for you. Don't worry about Nick and me, we are going to make it through this. Just remember, If you can't be good be good at it.
Teresa, praying of that eggy to be there this mo. I am cheering for you.
97.9 this morning. Lookin goooood!
I was going to wait to type until I heard from Nick's Dr. I called her and left her a message to call me. I am very nervous about the call.
I went and ate lunch with a couple girls that I use to work with. They are so sweet. We were eating and of course they wanted to know how I was and how my Dr. appt went Wed. I really thought I was over the crying part of it. I told them and couldn't keep from crying. I didn't boo hoo or anything, just tears. They are so good to listen to me.
I feel good today. My spirits are high, and I am looking to the future. Even my body it getting back in wack. I have lost a few pounds, just a couple, and I am getting those little pains, you know you use to not notice, but when you are TTCing you notice. I know I am not at the TTC point, but like I said, I can feel my body again. I really think I went totally numb for a couple weeks.
I have alot of work to do so here is my closing.
Kelly - KellyLusk, I was so thrilled that you are feeling better. I worry about you when you are as down as you were yesterday. So you are working the riverbend. I don't think we are going this year. We are going to the Kenny Chesney concert on the 7th. We usually spend way too much money at RiverBend anyway. Hope you all don't work to hard, Enjoy.
Teresa, Yeah to you cohosting. I just think you will be such an asset to the board. I am so thrilled. And by the way, are you practicing?????
Lisa, I am so hyped about your long vacation, we will miss you so much. I just know you are going to have a wonderful time. Hope your doggies have a good stay at the hotel. Be safe.
Parker, I am praying so hard for you this weekend, hope you get good news monday. You too newmama1.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa and the rest of the ttcer and mommies to be. Mommies to be here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please pray for my baby Nick.
Sat. 98.0, Sun. 97.9, & today 97.8. I think this morning went down due to my dear dh felt it right to sleep with the windows open. It got quit chilly last night, and I woke up freezing. Oh well, who knows. Babymed said I oed on the 29th, Thurdays, We bded that night, but I have a feeling they are wrong. We shall see.
Well I knew that turtle was the reasoning for all of my bad luck. I got a call from Nick's Dr. Guess what, they have no idea what it is. 3 labs have analized the sample, and they have never seen anything like it. Story of Nick's life, that is what they said about his skin, his toes and now the side of his head. I have to take him back for some more test on Wednesday. At least they are going to foot the bill, or most of it. He is a learning experience for them they say. They call him their "Autoimmune nightmare". I thought that sounded better than a tumor. The Dr. said not to get my hopes up yet, but I have. Nick and I are going to be just fine.
Well, looks like I am going on vacation 06/19-06/26. I am hoping we are going to get to go to Cancun. I have a call into a buddy that works at a travel agency, she is going to see if she can find us anything. The only thing, I will be away from Dh and the hair ones. The only people I never get tired of. It looks as if it is going to be my bro, and my 2 cousins. It will be fun. I just told them that not to count on me being the life of the party, I will be doing no drinking. I need to keep this body as clean as possible. I guess I will be the dd for the trip. There are worse things, like not getting to go. I am going to have a wonderful time. This is going to be my last vacation without my little one. I just know it. YEAH!!!! How is that for a bright outlook????? Take that you dark dank pit. ha ha. Yes I have gone just a little over the edge. But you girls that have been there, it is such a relief no to want to crawl into that pit but to fight your way out, and I am fighting as hard as I know how!!!
Very quit around the office. 2 bosses out of town, one kinda boss out of town, co-worker on vacation and only me and the other boss. He's last day is a week from today, so he is wanting to do nothing. YEAH!!! What more can you ask for a Monday.
I do have work though, better get to it.
Parker, I am so so sorry.
Teresa, hope this is the oing time, NOW GET TO WORK!!!!!
Lisa, hope you are having the time of your life, you deserve it.
Nickylynnluckes, hang in there!!!!!!!!!!
Teresa, just wanted to add, you and Lori have the board rockin, before long everyone will want to be welcomed to the Hotel California. YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope everywhere is as beautiful as it is here today.
97.8 again. Who knows what is going on. Today makes 3 weeks, but I just can't let my mind take me back to those dark days.
Nicky posted a letter to her little one. Boy did it hit home. Especially about the d&c. I still wonder if I made the right decision to have the d&c. I know in my head I did. I just didn't understand if my baby was no longer spiritually with me why was he/she physically still there. I wanted to think that Little Bit was just wanting to stay with me, just to stay with his/her mommy just a little while longer. And I let them take him/her. I just don't know. I have to block it from my mind or I would go out of my mind!!!!
I miss him/her so much. I don't think that part ever gets any easier.
Well, I need to keep my spirits up. The Dr. says I should start AF 4 to 6 weeks after the d&c. A week from now is 4 weeks, I don't feel sore bb or anything. I am having an uncomfortable feeling, like I am going to start. I don't really want to call them cramps, because they are not, just uncomfortable. I wish she would come on. I am ready to get this ball rolling. I just wish my temps would go up or down. Even they are staying in the middle. I think someone is doing this on purpose. The only thing is I have a better chance of catching the eggy if af shows at 6 weeks. If she comes at 4 weeks, I will only have a small window, and that is if o comes at the right time. We shall see.
Well someone just came in.
Prayers to Lisa, and Teresa, the rest of the ttc crew, and all the mommies to be. Watch out here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nicky, thanks again for the letter.
Deb, I am so so sorry.
Lisa, We miss you, hope you are having a great time.
I need prayers for Nick again, he is going in for the other test in the morning. Good news, he is down to only 2 pain pills a day. YEAH!!!!
98.0 this morning.
Wow what a day, go go go, run run run. I don't think I have ever been this late posting. At least it make the day go by faster.
All of your prayers worked. They didn't even biopsy Nick today. They said that the knot had shrank by 50%. They saw no reason why it shouldn't just keep shrinking. YEAH!!!!!!! Thanks girls!!!
I really feel good today. I am bloated and gassy, I know TMI. Don't know what is up with that. But I still feel really really good.
I am having to run some end of the day jobs.
I will catch up tomorrow.
Teresa, how's is it going on your end. You are doing a wonderful job on the boards. Yeah Teresa!!!! Hoping for a big mo ahead of you.
Lisa hope you are having a blast.
Prayers to Teresa, Lisa, all the ttcers, and mommies to be!!!!
I will see you tomorrow, be there or be square!!!!!
97.9 this morning. Ok enough of this, I need to get this ball rolling. Tuesday will be 4 weeks, no sign of af, no sore bb nothing. I really don't mind that much because if AF comes Tuesday that will knock us out of this mo ttc. I will be in Cancun without dh while o is here. So I need to just calm down and count my blessings.
Speaking of blessings, except for having a sore ear, they had to clean his ear out real good. He is doing great. He was still pretty much out of it last night. Just wanted to sit with his mom and be a couch potato. Your prayers for him really worked. I don't care what anyone says, everyone that looked at him said it is a tumor, but it is not, it is going away, now that is prayers answered!!!
Feeling good today. This bloating is really getting on my nerves. I have to watch what I wear, and what I eat and drink. If I don't my clothes are just uncomfortable, and the food and drink just make it worse. I need for this to go away. I wouldn't mind it if there was a reason for it, this is the way I felt when I was pg, but I'm not even kidding myself about that. There is no way that has happened, and even if it had, it is too early to feel like this.
Oh well, the sun it out and it is beautiful here. Hope it is where you are too.
Teresa, I am so sorry about your poor foot. That is the worse when your feet hurt. I had to have an operation on mine last year to have a bone straightened. If your feet don't feel good it is really hard to feel good.
What is this about Mel, is she really, that would be so great if she were pg. I watch GH and Anna lost her baby to a heart disease (ok I know it is a soap), but it made me think of Mel. I just have cried for 3 days while watching.
I'm with Teresa, where is newmama1? Niki we worry about you when you are not here??? I will post a search to see if we can find you. OK I think the bloating has gone too my brain. Found your je. Hope af stays away. How long have you been hosting the Feb board? Just being noisey.
Lisa, just thinking of you in that beautiful FL sun.
Got to go, love you all.
And this is the end of my broadcast for today. Check in for more news tomorrow.
97.6 wow really low, maybe the start of something?
TGIF,TGIF and on and on,
It is finally Friday. Yea!!!!!!!!
Nick got up feeling good this morning, he met me in the hall with his ball, and he hadn't even had his meds yet. I know it is going to be a good day when that happens.
I received my book that I ordered the other day. It is called Supernatural Birth. I almost read it all last night. Great book. I read the first couple of pages and had kinda of a hard time with it. I don't know why, but the more I read, the better it got. This man and woman weren't able to have babies, or I guess I should say carry babies. They invested everything in their faith and they now have 4 children. She never took any drugs while having them or anything. It is really hard to explain. I would love to have faith like them. The book was a real inspiration.
I believe in God, but I feel like I have almost my own thoughts of religion. I don't believe that people are bad because they are gay or because they drink or stuff like that. Don't get me wrong, I don't think drinking is a great thing, but I don't think some stuff that people are condimed for is right. I have alot of gay friends, and a few relatives. I have watched one friend almost kill himself because he was gay. He is one of the best people I know. I think God wants us all to just love each other, not put each other down, or judge. I take people by the way they treat me. What they do when they aren't around me, I could care less. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, I don't see the problem.
Sorry to get on my box, I will step down now. Sorry again.
We are going to the Knoxville Concert tomorrow. Yea!!!! Kenny Chesney, Rascal Flats here I come. There are going to be alot of other acts there, but they are the ones I am really going to see. And they will be performing in one of my favorite places, University of Tennessee Neyland Stadium. GO VOLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Weather isn't too pretty, but I know for a fact that I don't melt in the rain.
Well I know I really rambled today, so I will wrap it up.
Newmama1 I can't really help you with your chart, but I am sure someone will be able to. Have you checked with the chart board. I hope you get to feeling better, Have a wonderful weekend!!!!
Parker, I hope your spirits get lifted also. I just hate to hear you talk so down. Let me know if I can do anything!!!
Teresa, you never seem to stop amazing me. Like I told you months ago, you are our inspiration!!!!!
Lisa, still missing you.
To the rest of you wonderful women, here's praying that all our prayers are answered. I know they will.
I hope if anyone reads this, that book is really good, everyone should read it that is looking for guidance or something to believe in.
Monday 97.3 Today 97.6.
Man, I am having some major problems with getting on the boards. It takes me forever to get into one of the boards, not to mention posting to one of them. Yesterday I just gave up. I am so busy now that I am the only indian surrounded by so many chiefs. I only have a couple of minutes at a time to post, now this is making is really difficult. I just wish we could do something about it. I don't seem to have problems with my computer at home, but I don't have stupid AOL either at home.
OK enough of the negativity.
Mom is going in for some test today. She had to wear a heart monitor last week, in which she told us nothing about!!! She has to have a us and an ekg on her heart. I am kinda scared, but I am going to stay positive, Positive energy has to be better for her than negative. Please pray for her.
OH yeah, my good news, AF came Saturday!!!!!!!!! I am so happy, I am on cd 4. On the road again, sing with me!!
I have figured, if I o between the days of cd 12-15 I have a great chance of catching that big old eggy. It really seems like a omen. Those are the only days dh and I are going to be able to bd. He is going to Scout Camp 15-18, he will be back the night of the 18th, and then I leave on the 22 and will be gone till 26th. Talking about a close call.
I told you about that book I have read, Supernatural Childbirth. In the book Jackie talks about having faith to chase away the negativity and fear. I really think it works. My dh has a thing about driving and thinking he can stop on a dime. It really scares me sometimes. I don't say anything because I hate backseat drivers. I tested my faith Saturday. We were driving that big old van to go to the concert and he did it. It like to have scared me to death. Next time I tried the faith thing. You know I didn't have a problem with it the rest of the trip. I have also been telling myself what a wonderful pg I am going to have and I have faith that this will happen soon. POSITIVITY!!!!
If nothing else it makes me feel better about things.
I have so much work to do, I have to go.
Babyfan1234, You go girl, I am so glad you got that BFP!!!!!!
Parker, Your dh must be great, I hope you had a great and relaxing time at the beach. I am just so sorry you are having such a bad time.
Newmama1, I hope you get some good news from your Dr. I am thinking of you.
Teresa, how are things girly?? I am keeping my fingers crossed for you. Just remember, this is our summer!!!!!
Lisa, we miss you!!!