Well, I get to have one more thing in common with most of the grads - I get to go in on Friday for the dreaded gestational diabetes test...
First, the doc was great! I can't imagine why anyone would think he wasn't nice. He went through all the bad indications (I'll never be a 15 or 20 egger like alot of girls my age - based on the increased meds in cycle 2 giving the same results) and all of the good (great hormone levels through out my cycles and good day 3) and pointed out potential problem areas...
The big one being he thinks my insulin is too high based on my results even though my 29.5 fasting was just above what the lab considers normal - 27...he said he really likes to see MUCH lower - around 17 to 19. He thinks I am showing signs of being insulin resistant, which 1, would make me a virtual guarantee for GD if I ever did get prego and 2, "could" be impairing my egg's maturation process and contributing to the quality problem...he wants to know more from my doc about what she "saw" in the lab in detail before passing judgement on whether changing the insulin levels in my body could help with the eggs, but the bigger picture is keeping me from developing type 2 diabetes.
So I will go in friday and have the GD Test so he can see what I do and if the results come back like he thinks, I'll go on Metformin to help give my pancreas some help so we can keep it from going kaput. Based on the other info and my body's natural reaction to the metformin, he'll let us know whether or not he thinks we should give IVF another try in a few months to see if the quality is better - he stressed that this is not necessarily the "magic switch" - just a possibility that's worth chasing down before we move on - besides, I need to do it for my health long-term anyway, so we will see what happens!
Wow. OK. So, we still need to talk about it tonight, but the doctor believes he sees enough things about our previous cycles that could have been "tweaked", that he thinks it is worth us trying one more time. He wants me to go on Metformin and wait another 6-8 weeks before we start the cycle.
I guess we are going to give it one more try. Jon says he really thinks we should try, since we both like this new doc so much, we should really give him a chance.
He gave us alot of good info and he discussed donor w/us but told us he doesn't feel yet like we are to the point where that is our only option to have a successful IVF.
I just don't know how to feel yet. I thought I would be excited that there is a chance - not really, but I don't feel closed to the idea at all - just kind of like..."mmm. Ok, yeah." YK?
Well, I suppose everyone can tell by my siggie. We are back in the game. One more try. I tell you what, last week was so frustrating...it seemed everyone in the world was on me about having a baby. I try to evade and deflect so I don't hurt THEM, but it makes me look like I don't want kids or something, which couldn't be further from the truth. I had the first big cry I have had in a long time last night - just tired from all of the frustration and the prospect of another 4+ months of waiting to see what is really going to happen.
I am really happy to see some of my friends who have struggled moving forward with pregnancies and adoptions. It is giving me hope and sometning to look forward to.
I just keep praying and hanging in there and loving Jon and he keeps taking great care of me. I guess that is really all we can do.
Today on his checkup, the doctor told Jon he is considered normal in all areas, except count, where he is amazing - his samples are consistently over 300 million - just 40 million are needed to be considered normal.
So anyway, we are still doing IVF again in a few months because we have since discovered in our first 2 rounds of failed IVF, that I have some egg issues we are working on, but that is at least 2 cycles away...his urologist still thinks the IVF is a good idea and that we have a great new doc, but he encouraged us to try naturally in the meantime and we just might hit it, he told Jon he is "Superman" - he was so pleased! So here's hoping I get a good egg in the next cycle or two and I won't have to do IVF.
I was thrilled for Jon, but also felt a little hurt and he totally picked up on it - when I said I was happy, he said "then why do you sound sad" - I got choked up and said "It just..." and he stopped me and said "I know - you just want to be normal, too....we'll get you there, baby."
He's so great and I love him so much! (on a funny note, he said he guesses he'll have to stop sleeping around now! LOL!)
wow - I can't believe I fell to page 2 - I don't write enough. Not much to report. I am on my full dose of Metformin now. I also am just wrapping up my period, so tomorrow I am temping again! (shock) I never thought I would be doing that again, but now that Jon is a stallion, we decided it's worth a try while we wait to do IVF this summer. I've got to get my FF password and then I'll put my ticker back in my siggy so folks can stalk me again (if you are reading this, you know who you are!!).
wow - so my temp went WAY down this morning - 4 tenths!!! (I know I need to get it in my chart but I can't remember the @$^%ing password!)...anyway, it's only CD 10, so I CAN"T be Oing already...weird. Ok I promised myself I wouldn't get all into the temping again...I am going to go make desserts for my St. Patty's day party tomorrow instead of thinking about my silly cycle.
St. Patty's is FAR more important than my temp...esp since we already bd'ed anyway (sheepish smile)