A Journal for my ICSI Journey - Page 4
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Thread: A Journal for my ICSI Journey

  1. #31
    lilyjo99
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    owie - zowie!!!

    That round of shots hurt like a @&$#^&%!

    I think it is just bc there was so much fluid - the menopur and the follistim and the lupron.

    I ate dinner right after and I guess it was just too much for that area of my bod 'cause I felt like I was gonna hurl!

    Better now, but I am pretty sure my days of being able to say - "the shots don't even make me sore" are numbered!

    That's ok - hopefully so are my days of saying - "oh, we don't have any kids - yet..."

    Can I just say how much I love the girls on the TTC 0-12 board...they have really supported me, even the new ones! I get so moved by the response I get every time I post an update - if any of you read my journal - thank you, ladies!

  2. #32
    lilyjo99
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    Today was ok - 12 follies today - they told me I am a "slow" responder - which they said is good bc it is giving the little follies a chance to catch up.

    I did feel kinda jerked around though bc at first they said they would have to extend my cycle and that if I was going to need more meds to go an extra couple days, to call and let them know, so when I called to order, I guess the doc had looked at everything and told them that this was not the case...that everything is fine and on track for next week...good news I guess, but if I get there on Monday and they decide to extend and I don't have the meds - they better freakin' figure something out...my boss was laughing when I told him (he is so cool) and said that we get way more worked up about our jobs, whereas docs are like aaah, whatever, and their job is life or death and ours is never a true crisis...it made me laugh...

    So, I am on track Monday for my trigger - YAY!

    Tonight I told my roommate from college about what we are doing - it was nice to let her know...we lived together for 5 years and she was in town tonight. She actually hung out with us even while we did my shots - we're that close - and we all talked and laughed about everything. It was great. It's cool, bc she can even tell me that parts of what we are doing "freak her out" and it was still totally cool bc I can tell she's psyched about us having a kid - we're like sisters.

    Jon found out his sis is having another girl - he is totally jazzed about it bc he so badly wants to have the first boy in the family...he wants to give his dad that first grandson...we'll see!

  3. #33
    lilyjo99
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    So, tonight was our last night of stims..if all goes well tomorrow, we should be doing our trigger shot tomorrow night. Exciting, but I think it will all seem more real to me AFTER the u/s tomorrow.

    We spent the weekend with our cousins and their one year old. They are excited for us and impressed (not sure they could do it) with what we are taking on here. They called once we all got back to town and are going to bring us dinner the night of the retrieval - finally some family support of the "hands on" variety!

    Everything was great this weekend - the boys went hunting and I took them up on the opportunity to shoot some very swanky gun. I thought it would be funny at my u/s - "so, Lisa, what did you do this weekend?" "oh, not much, went for a walk, played on the internet, shot an assault rifle..." It made me laugh.

    My hopes are high for tomorrow - I have got to get to bed soon and say my prayers.

  4. #34
    lilyjo99
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    another terrific appointment today!! 15-16 follies all ready to go!

    I gained 4lbs since friday - nurse said it was water - I think it is probably the twizzlers and hot tamales and mexican food I had this weekend, but I'll go with water...other than the bloating, everything seems perfect!!

    Jon is so excited, but I don't think it has hit me yet.

    What has hit me is that we are officially done with shots! YAYAY

    The trigger was another sub-q shot and really no big deal.

    Wednesday morning at 9:30 is the big time! Any kind thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.

  5. #35
    lilyjo99
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    So tomorrow is ER!

    Jon and my friend Kim are going with me. I am tired and nervous about what is on the other side of this - a whole new bag of what if's?...

    Jon is excited and hopeful - I need to follow his lead and expect the best. I'll be saying my prayers tonight for healthy eggs and healthy sperm to come together tomorrow and make perfect little embies.

    I am so ready to be a mom. Everyone - family and friends - are being SO sweet and supportive.

    I truly hope and pray this is it for us. I'll update you on the egg count tomorrow!

  6. #36
    lilyjo99
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    wow - I am getting emotional now - I just want so badly for everything to go well and to end up with my sweet little baby. We have been through so much, though I know it is far less than some. I pray we are nearing the end of this part of our journey and that it is time for us to receive our precious little blessing to raise and to love.

  7. #37
    lilyjo99
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    We got 9 good eggs today - not as many as I hoped base on my u/s's, I was pretty upset when I came out of the anesthesia and the nurse told me, but the RE came back and assured me that the 9 eggs they got were good eggs and that everything went well and that things are good...now we just wait for the fertilization report...I cried a little - now I am just praying that the ones we did get fertilize and grow healthy and strong!

    Jon has been super-sweet, he brought me lunch and dinner and he and the cats hung out with me in bed tonight. I'll be home all day tomorrow and back to the old grind on Friday. Hopefully if all goes well, transfer will be Monday!

    Thanks everyone, for all of your support!

  8. #38
    lilyjo99
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    I can't believe it. Only one egg fertilized. I am devastated. I was sure we'd have more than just one. We are now doing a day 3 transfer. I just hope and pray that this one is THE one and that it will keep growing and grab on tight when it has the chance.

    We so desparately want to be parents. I am just heartbroken. I feel awful for Jon too. I just wish I could understand...


    I wish my mom was here.

  9. #39
    lilyjo99
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    I am somewhat relieved today. Our little embie was graded early this morning - while he was only 2 cells, they said it was early and that the lab was comfortable that he would catch up in time for the transfer. He was graded a 2 on a scale of 1-4, 1 is the best, but the nurse told me that a 2 is good and that this is all good news for proceeding with the transfer tomorrow. I am hopeful right now, but still nervous. Everyone I know (and alot of people I don't) are praying their little hearts out for us.

    I just want my little one to GROW!!!

    I love it so much already.

  10. #40
    lilyjo99
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    And now the REAL 2ww begins...

    Our transfer started out very early in the am yesterday - we met the doc w/good news - she said our little embie looked GREAT! I did not want to get caught up in the details of whether he was still a 2 or had graduated to 1 status, so I didn't push for details - I am sure she didn't want to overwhelm me with any, either...I figure I can ask that stuff when I go in for my beta and what's done is done. The docs enthusiasm was enough for me.

    We got all dressed to go into the sterile environment for the transfer - poor DH had to take his shoes off bc otherwise the little booties would not fit on his giant feet - we all laughed!

    Once we were in, we discovered that my full bladder pushed my uterus straight up to an almost 90 degree angle up above my cervix - the nurse had just brought in a new tool so the doctor could "pull my cervix closer" to her (I didn't like the sound of that), when the doc said - nevermind, I got it...I didn't get a glimpse of what jon described as a giant scissor (I assured him it had to be more of a "tong" as no one was "cutting" anything today) but I did see Jon's face over at my shoulder and he looked like he was going to be ill!

    At the end of it all, they gave us an u/s pic w/an arrow pointing to a tiny white dot and said - "there's your baby"...wow! They put me back on a bed and wheeled me out and as we all left that room, I looked at Jon and said, "oh, sweetie, wasn't that romantic?" Again, we all laughed.

    We rested for a while, scheduled my beta, got reassurance from the doc that even though we only had one, everything looked REALLY good for us today.

    So now I am home, bed-resting for the most-part and giving my lil punkin time to attach - yesterday it was "the blob", but Jon decided to come up with a more inviting term to encourage our little one to stick around. Here's hoping I will be wonderfully miserable w/morning sickness very soon.

    All my IRL family and friends and all of my on-line buddies have been amazing during this entire journey.

    Whatever happens, I am the closest I have ever been to that BFP!

    and, like I told Jon, we made a baby!

    That feels wonderful.

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