Keeping The Faith

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Keeping The Faith

I thought that I was going to go crazy because I couldn't figure out why I couldn't put anything new in my journal.
(I'm a little slow but I figured it out)
Well I was trying to put in yesturday that I had started my Atkins diet again and I am doing great I haven't had one carb in a week as of today. I have two more weeks to go. I haven't weighed myself yet but I will on Sunday when we go to my parents house for Easter. I am hoping to loose 15 to 20 lbs before I O and that is still about a little over 2 weeks away so this should work fine. I am on last day of AF THANK GOD!!! I think DH and I need to start practicing again as soon as we can. I was really happy to hear that a few of our woman got BFP this month. All I have to say to them is MERRY CHRISTMAS Biggrin . Well thats it for now, I will write more later.

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newmama1
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From: Western NY
Posted: 2003-03-21 11:25
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I am 25 and I have one ds and he is everthing to me. I had a real easy time getting pg with him but now my dh and I are trying for #2 and I'm having a hard time, it has been 8 months and nothing. I have a real problem with thinking I'm pg every month and then being REALLY let down when nothing happens. The really hard thing to deal w/ is the fact that the woman in my family get pg very very easy and that they usually get pg when they don't want to be. I want to be now and I am having truble. I am a chrisian and I have faith every month that this is it and then nothing. I know that I'm still young and that I have alot of time but I also had an idea in my head of how I wanted to have my kids and I don't think I can handle the thought that there is something wrong with me. I also have 40 day cycles and that makes it hard because I have to waite a long time to find out if I am and I don't handle stress very well. Then I get scared of being stressed. I have issues!!!!!!!! BIG TIME!!!!!
I am 17 days into this cycle and am a little more then one week away from o and my dh and I are going to bd starting on cd22 and will do so every other day until one day after o. Thats how we did it with our ds. I really hope I have good news in a few weeks.

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Posted: 2003-03-22 09:35
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Well today is going to be a good day. I don't have to think about TTC. I am going to a garden fair with my ds, mother and grandmother. I love spring I started charting at the begining of this cycle that I'm in now and I'm hoping that I will ahve beginners luck. I have a problem with stressing myself out over TTC because I have 40 day cycles so I have to waite longer then most women to even o, then I have to waite forever to even find out if I'm preg. It is really hard. Over the last few months I have read alot about bc and the bad things it can do to your body and it scares me because I have been on it since I was 18 for female reasons. My dh and I agree that after our next baby we will try NFP and I know that I am responsable enough to do it and do it right and that if for any reason I get preg while I'm doing it it must be Gods will. I know that I will follow it perfect so if it happens it happens. My dh is very suppotive of me wanting to try this after we have a baby and that just makes me love him more. Now it is just getting me preg that we are having trubke with. My cycles are getting longer so I don't know when I o. When I went off the pill last June they were 28 like clockwork, then in Nov. they were 31 lcw, then in Jan. they turned to 40 and thats were I am now. My dh doesn't want t know when I'm ovulating because he doesn't want to feel like he is working, so come time I'll just jump him and that will be that. We try to start about one week before o and bd everyother day until three days after so that way we know the are there on time for the party. I just hope my girl show up this month and I don't meen AF. Well I have to go .
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Posted: 2003-03-23 15:16
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CD 19
To most women, CD19 would be past o but in my case it is still a week or so away. I find it really easy now to get my mind off of it with everthing that is going on over seas. I find myself crying alot about all the people that I hear are dying or getting hurt. I don't cry because I don't believe what is going on over there is wrong but because I am a mother and a wife and a sister and I wish that I could comfort the families. I think that the more this goes on over there the more that that phsyco will show his true colors. I just hope that we can get it taken care of soon so they can cme home. I also worry about all my friends that are over there. This makes me really think about how I want to raise my children and the kind of things that I want to teach them. I believe in God and my country and I know that sounds chezzy but I don't care. My son and all other children will be tought to love and respect all people no matter what their rase, religon on political views. I don't care what color person my children want to marry as long as they are loving people that treat my child as if they were the only person on this earth that could make them happy. I know that all mothers want that for their there kids but I hope that I can raise my children to be strong, smart and confident peole that have alot to give other peole. I know that not everything will go the way I want but I also know that the way I raise my child has alot to do with how things will be when when they are adults and with their own children. I think part of the reason that we have so many problems is that parents don't understand that they are the examples to their children. They determine how their children will turn out. Now I'm not saying that if they grow up and go nuts and do bad things it is all their fault what I'm saying is that they teach them how to deal with life when they are very little and most peole don't even realise it. When your child is growing up and even before they can talk they are watching the way we are and learning from that. I know one thing that my husband and I did wrong with our ds,we always figured that it wouldn't hurt him when he was really little if we argued in fron of him but I am starting to see things now tha the is almost 2 that are things that I know he got from his father and me tha ti really wish I could take back. The only thing that I can do now is try to change the way he reacts to certin things. I really hope that I don't screw him up. I also hope that if we ever get blessed with a girl, that I can raise her to be a strong woman with wonderful outlook on everthing and I really hope that they NEVER go through the things that I did. well thats it for today. I hope that I don't offend anyone who reads this but it is my journal and only my opinion.

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Posted: 2003-03-24 10:41
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The start of another day and I have two more days until my dh and I will do the bd. I am feeling weird though, I have been haveing very small pains in my stomach. I have an acid reflux ( hope I spelled that right) and have had ulcers in the past but this if it is one is really small. It all started after I had my ds. He is my first and after a hard preg I was so happy to go home with him. Two days after we wwent home I had to take him back to the hospital, he ha really bad jaundis (hope I spelled that right if not I'm sure you can figure it out). I know that isn't real bad but when it's your first and you just want to be home after a three day stay in the hospital and 8 months of problems. I also have a really hard time with stress. I stress myself out all the time about everything. Like getting preg, because it happened so easy last time and we have been trying for 8 months now and nothing, I think that there is something wrong with me now.I love my dh he doesn't know how to handle me when I get weird.
I have been getting through this waite for o better this month then in other ones though with little stress about TTC because of all you wonderful woman that tell your stories on here. Inow that I really don't have much to get upset about because I have a child, that is true but I'm not upset about that, I'm upset because you think your whole life that when you want a family that it is going to be so easy, Get married, have a baby or two and boom thats it. Then when it happens and you have nothing but one problem after another and you don't have someong to talk to that really will understand, God Bless our DH but they have no clue what goes through our heads. I love that I come on here and I can read about other women feeling the same way I do. You are all a sorce of strength for me, and you keep me from going crazy from having to waite. THANK YOU ALL. To all of you wonderful women that are trying to have your first bundle, Don't loose faith , God can do ANYTHING and He knows our hearts and what we want. I will pray that all you want to be first time mommy's all get blessed with a healthy baby very soon. I want to see +++++++++++++++ across the board. When you stop believing thats when it wont happen. I'm not saying you can't get upset but don't let it beat you. We are all alot stronger then we may think. Woman deal with things that men would never be able to handle. I am REALLY pulling for all of you GL and God Bless all of you.
One last little thing.
I think that that Moore guy on the Oscars last night is a big jerk and should be kicked out of the US. I think it is funny that people didn't protest like this before the war they waited until it started when their efforts were fruitless. Now that we are there I just hope that we can geet this done fast and with VERY little death.
I SUPPORT OUR PRESIDENT AND OUR TROOPS!!!!!!
but that is just my opinion.

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Posted: 2003-03-25 10:21
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Well the start of another day of waiting.All you woman that have short cycles are luckey. I have to waite 27 to 30 days just to o, then 2 wks or so to do an HPT. I am in a good mood today though. I don't know why. I can make myself happy.
I started a OPK yesturday and did another today and nothing really. They were neg. but had fainte lines. I am planning to bd with Dh starting tomarrow and we will do it every other day until April 1. I guess I can't miss that way.I hope. It is really nice here the last few days and I have flowers in my garden already. I love spring!!! If that doesn't get my juices flowwing I don't know what will . I think it is good for me keeping this, it has really helped me with my stress level. I look forward everyday to reading all the other posts and seeing if anyone had looked at mine.
Well thats it for now, I might write more tonight depending how things go today.
GL and God Bless ourtroops and all of the woman trying to have a baby.

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Posted: 2003-03-25 10:21
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Well the start of another day of waiting.All you woman that have short cycles are luckey. I have to waite 27 to 30 days just to o, then 2 wks or so to do an HPT. I am in a good mood today though. I don't know why. I can make myself happy.
I started a OPK yesturday and did another today and nothing really. They were neg. but had fainte lines. I am planning to bd with Dh starting tomarrow and we will do it every other day until April 1. I guess I can't miss that way.I hope. It is really nice here the last few days and I have flowers in my garden already. I love spring!!! If that doesn't get my juices flowwing I don't know what will . I think it is good for me keeping this, it has really helped me with my stress level. I look forward everyday to reading all the other posts and seeing if anyone had looked at mine.
Well thats it for now, I might write more tonight depending how things go today.
GL and God Bless ourtroops and all of the woman trying to have a baby.

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Posted: 2003-03-25 21:53
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I have been really wanting to get into doing my photography again. I love having things I can do to get my mind off of TTC and all the stress of it. I am doing my friends wedding in sept. and my grandparents want their picts done for the family, but what I really want to get into is pregnancy photo's. I think they would be the most fun for me. I think that it is good for woman to have beautiful pictures taken of them when they don't feel so beautiful. I wouldn't let anyone take my picture when I was preg until I was 35 weeks and then I was forced. I am glad I have them now becuse I had my ds 3 days latter. I would love to be able to start doing that. I enjoy it so much that I wouldn't charge for any thing to start but prossesing and film. This way I can get my name and pictures out there. There are so many cool things that you can do to make a woman feel beautiful. I Don't do digital. I HATE digital. I like 35mm. I miss taking pictures. My dh is very supportive of me getting back into doing my pictures. I don't have all the equipment but I know I can make due with what I do have.
Back to TTC.
I noticed a change in my CM and I can't waite to do my opk tomarrow to see if I'm getting close to o. I think I'm going to start the bd tonight because I am horny (TMI SORRY). I really don't think that it going to hurt a day early. It will still get thet job done, I hope. Dh doesn't like it when I talk about "trying" to have a baby because he feels like it is a job and that doesn't make JUNIOR very happy, so I don't talk to him about it and when it happens then he feels like it was a surprise. I am trying to think of a cute way to let dh know IF I get preg. I am really thinking pos. tonight. I must be tired .
Well thats it tonight. I notice that I talk alot even when I write:) .

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Posted: 2003-03-26 08:57
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CD 22:
Yes it says 22, and I'm still a few days away from O. I did my OPK this morning and there is a very light line. This is driving me up the wall.My temp dropped yesturday and again today. I thought I read it somewere that it can drop before o. I hope that in 4 days it shoots up. I should o on CD 27 or 28. I'm charting everything this cycle so I should know exactly when I o. Temp, Cm, OPK, CP, Brests. I know myself better then I ever hoped to. Dh and I didn't BD last night but we do start tonight, I hope he isn't too tired. I have also rea everything there is about how to get preg and it's funny how had it is for 2 normal healthy people to get preg, it makes you wonder why all these little girls can get preg from kissing someone. The woman in my family are all like that, except for my aunt, but thats because she had some of her thyriod removed because she had cancer. Now she is VERY over weight and oesn't get her period. She was blessed with one dd and she misscarried 8 times. It took alot of drugs and crying for her to have her dd. She also had morning sickness the whole 9 mths all day every day, it was REALLY REALLY bad. Then she had 3 days of labor. My aunt isn't the nicest person when it comes to dealing with adults but she loves her dd and if she could she would have a ton more.
Well thats it for now.

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Posted: 2003-03-26 09:04
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If anyone wants to see my chart here it is.

www.pregnancy.org/chart/ShowChart.php?uid=newmama1&chart_id=1

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Posted: 2003-03-26 21:40
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I am going nuts here, I have been watching every sign and now they are getting weird on me.I took my temp today and it was 97.3 and yesterday it was 97.5 before that it was 97.6, I haven't even o yet. I have watching my CP and CM and CP is higher and softer and CM is wet but not GW, I also have been doing the OPK and there is a line but it isn't that dark. Maybe I'm getting closer and that is why I'm showing some of the signs.I hope I get a + OPK tomarrow. I'll have to waite and see. I am having cramping now and thats really messing with me.
I just had to pause in my writing for a sec to go to the bathroom and I have the CM becoming more like the EW that I have heard about, now I'm starting to get pumped. Ireally am feeling better now. I guess I just made myself upset for nothing. This is my first month charting and so I didn't know what to look for or expect. I found this site called Family of the Americas, and it teaches you the NFP method and it even gives you picture of what the CM should look like through the diff stages. That is NFP for Dummies. I hope my dh is up for it tonight. We start the BD tonight and then EO night for the next week. I really hope I can see through my charting when of if I o.

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Posted: 2003-03-27 08:59
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CD 23
Well I still have a - OPK but my temps are showing a dip. I went on the tem and NFP board and asked if someone could look at my chart and tell me that everything was ok that that would help me not go crazy (I didn't say it like that but I felt that way), Someone wrote back right away and she said my chart looked great and it looked like I was getting ready to o, she also said that if the temp dipps for atleast three days and then shoots up that is when I o. According to all the ovulation calculators I have done, I should have the big o on sat or sun. I am getting scared now thoughbecause the OPK is still neg. This is were I really get screwed up, I am going to stress myself into not ovulating.Of the four things I'm watching, three are doing what I thought they should and one isn't.My CM, CP, and temp are doing good, my OPK isn't. I hope tomarrow I get a +. The funny thing is that it feels like my cervix is opening a little or something because I have been feeling these little pains right there and the reason I know that is what it is is because when I had my ds I remember feeling my cervix open with my contractions. It doesn't hurt that bad now but I can tell that something is happening there. I think I read somewhere that it opens a little when o is coming to allow the to get into the "private club". It's a party and they all want to come. ( bad joke).
well thats it for now but the way things are going, I write more latter

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Posted: 2003-03-28 13:04
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CD 24
I had to go to the dr ( not obgyn ) today for my arm and he sent me for a lung X-Ray to see if there is a tumer in the upper left lung, I don't think they will find anything they are just doing it to rule that out as a thing that is causing me to have pain in my elbow. I guess that some peole who have this tumer because of were it is it presses on a nerve that goes down your are and causes you to have these pains that I'm having.
On the baby side of things
Dh and I bd last night, I got up and my temp was down lower today so thats three days in a row that it has dropped. The OPK I took was - so I think that I will o tomarrow. It was darker today then the other days but not dark enough. I will have to get more . I was told by my dr that if I bd every night it will lower dh , so we will hold out until tomarrow. I have been really up for bd lately and I don't know why. I mean more so then usual. I wonder if that is a side effect to the hormones or something?
Well thats it for now.

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Posted: 2003-03-28 15:44
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YEA!!!!!!!!! I got a BFN, the kind you like to get. I just talked to my arm dr and they said that my X-Ray is a BFN, that is going to be the only time this month that I want to hear that. I got scared because I smoked for ten years and quit three years ago when I found out I was preg. I was also raised around it since I was born, both my parents smoked until I was 18, I started when I was 13 so I got nervous because I know alot of damage was done to my lungs. I'm glad I quit and it's funny that now the smell of a smoker or cigaretts make me sick. I can't believe how nasty it is to me now. I haven't smoked in three years and I am so proud of myself. My dr. said that if that was ruled out then they might have to go in my elbow again and see whats going on in there. I had carpotunal and ulnar nerve surgery in june of last year and it sucked because my arm was in a sling for 6 weeks. I told them that I am not putting off having a baby so they can cut me open again, my dr. is gtreat, he said they can waite until I have my next before we talk about that, I have to go to a nerologist ( sorry if I spelled that wrong )
I hate seeing them, they stick little needles between your fingers in the web like skin, IT HURTS LIKE HECK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to have it done so they can see how much damage has been done. I haven't really been able to use my left arm and hand for 2 years now. I have lost most of my strength. They do these strength tests and you have to squeeze this pressure tester and they told me a average man can sqeeze 80 lbs I squeezed between 35 and 40 with my left and 110 with my right. 35 even 40 aren't good. When I had my surgary last year I couldn't sqeeze 10. I hate having to go through this. It is really hard to take care of a toddler with one arm. I am counting on being better by the time we have another baby. I am now since my surg about 40% better then I was before. That is one better then when I had my DS.
Well thats it for now

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Posted: 2003-03-29 08:13
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OK, I don't kow what to think. MY temps went from 97.1 yesturday to 98.2 today. I thouhgt I wasn't going to o until sunday my CM is gone but when I took the OPK yesturday it wasn't dark enough. My body says I Oed but the OPK says I didn't. Should I believe my body or the test? If I did O yesturdy then I only got one day of bd in before I did. I know with most "normal women" that is all they need but I don't think it will be enough for me. I' m not getting my hopes up this month, I don't think this is our month. I really wanted it because DH b-day is on Dec 28 and I thought that would be a great present . I knew we should have bd on the 26th. Well thats it for now, DH is taking us for a drive today so that we can all spend time together this weekend.
GL to everyone else

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Posted: 2003-03-29 18:46
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ok I am REALLY messed up now. My temps say I Oed yesturday and my OPK just turned + today I thought that my CM was gone but it isn't and it is fluid and slippery. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am going to bd tonight just to make sure I can up my chances. I am going crazy.

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Posted: 2003-03-29 19:07
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I am so upset now. I am so mad because I had this plan on how I was going to bd this month and I thought that I still had one more chance to bd before I oed. I don't know what is going on with my body. THIS STINKS!!! I was hopping that it would be really clear when I Oed. I guess this way isn't going to be less stressful on me then going on a site and doing the ovulation calculatores and going by that. I hate this. I know that I wont be preg this month.

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Posted: 2003-03-30 20:07
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Well I guess I am 2DPO, I don't know if I really Oed that day or not. I didn't have any O pains or any other sing of it even my OPK was neg until yesterday. I even still have CM, enough to tell me that the temp thing has to be wrong. I am actually getting a pain in my left side now. I read somewhere that if you put your middle finger on your leg (were you can feel your pulse)and lay your handsflat on your legs still with your middle finger onthat spot, you should have your index finger over a gland in your leg that swells when you O you can feel it, they say it is about the size of a pea, and which ever side you feel it on is the side you Oed on. I can't even find the pulse in my leg so I won't be able to find the pea:(. I am going to bd as much as I can until I get a BFP of AF. I was really hoping to get preg this month. I guess there is still a very small chance.
I really shouldn't complain because I have my DS and he is the love of my life. I am still craving another. It's like chips, YOU CAN'T JUST HAVE ONE . I wish all my baby dust this month on all you wonderful woman. I pray that God blesses all of you with a baby before the end of the year.
I hate that I have to wiate so long between O's. I as mistaken about the length of my cycles though, they are 39 days not 40, I counted CD 1 as 40, MY BAD. I get one day less to stress. YEAH FOR ME.

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Posted: 2003-03-31 08:39
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Well I guess I am 2 or 3 DPO, if you go by my temp, if you go by my OPK then I Oed yesturday or today ( I got a + yesturday and a - today )
I am starting to think that this chartng is going to be OK until I get near O. I have been so stressed out that my ulsar is KILLING ME . I have been havng truble with my arm too. I hurt more then mst people twice my age do. I had a dr. tell me once that by the time I'm 30 I will have a hard time walking but THANK GOD for His healing power, I haven't had any real problems with my lnees in a while. I had surgery in june on my elbow and wrist, since then my wrist is better but my elbow isn't plus there is still the problem with my shoulder. I have to deal with comp for all the problems with my arm. That right there gives me alot of stress. They tell me to go find a job when NO ONE will hire a one armed ging that can't do just about anything with my upper body.
I am so tired, I am starting to wonder if I just say forget it and stop TTC, maybe it will happen faster. You hear about that happening all the time. I just don't know if I can really forget it. I wonder sometimes if any of the women who get preg after they " stop trying " really didn't stop but told their DH they did. If you try for months or years you can't really forget something like that.
Well thats it for now, I'm running out of stupid things to say.

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Posted: 2003-03-31 16:25
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I had to put this in because I was so happy for my mom today. My wonderful mom works at The Univercity of Rochester in NY, she was walking down the hall to fill her water bottle when she saw a man and his daughter walking the other way. She stopped the man and ( to thoes who LOVE him forgive me if I don't spell his name right) said " are you KEVIN COSNER?" he was there looking at the school with his daughter. OMGosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY MOM GOT TO MEET ROBINHOOD

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Posted: 2003-04-01 09:13
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CD28, 4DPO
I am in the 10 day waite. Yes I' m going to jusmp the gun. I got a BFP with my DS 10 days after. I can't waite the 4or 5 more days that I know I should. I kow now that I Oed in the 28th, every chart on three diff sites all say the same thing. I got one REALLY good bd in the day before. I hope the little guys made it up to see my girl.
I'm trying to think of a cute way to tell my DH if it comes out right. I know how I'm telling the Grandparents, I am going to get picture frames and I'm going to put a white piece of papper in were the picture goes and it will say, Place picture of Munson Baby here, and the date the baby will be due. I have had an idea how I was going to tell Dh was I have a long red velvit box that will fit the test perfect and I was going to put it in a gift bag and take him out to dinner and give it to him. I wanted to get a cute little outfit to put in there with the box. I am goiong to stress myself out over the next week. I don't think my stomich can take much more of it. I would love to say that once I find out if I am or not that I can relax nut if I am I will just stree myself out about wondering if I will have the same problems I had with DS. I know I shouldn't think that far ahead and that all preggs aren't the same but thats the kind of messed up person I am.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!

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Posted: 2003-04-01 09:13
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CD28, 4DPO
I am in the 10 day waite. Yes I' m going to jusmp the gun. I got a BFP with my DS 10 days after. I can't waite the 4or 5 more days that I know I should. I kow now that I Oed in the 28th, every chart on three diff sites all say the same thing. I got one REALLY good bd in the day before. I hope the little guys made it up to see my girl.
I'm trying to think of a cute way to tell my DH if it comes out right. I know how I'm telling the Grandparents, I am going to get picture frames and I'm going to put a white piece of papper in were the picture goes and it will say, Place picture of Munson Baby here, and the date the baby will be due. I have had an idea how I was going to tell Dh was I have a long red velvit box that will fit the test perfect and I was going to put it in a gift bag and take him out to dinner and give it to him. I wanted to get a cute little outfit to put in there with the box. I am goiong to stress myself out over the next week. I don't think my stomich can take much more of it. I would love to say that once I find out if I am or not that I can relax nut if I am I will just stree myself out about wondering if I will have the same problems I had with DS. I know I shouldn't think that far ahead and that all preggs aren't the same but thats the kind of messed up person I am.
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME!!!!

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Posted: 2003-04-01 17:53
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I have been cramping all day, not real bad but enough so that I notice it. I hate this part of TTC because every little pain or flutter I start thinking, I'm preg and then a second latter I thnk I'm not. I am also affraid to say that I might be because I'm affraid that I will get my hopes up and then just get upset when it isn't true. I guess there has to be a point were I say " I don't care " and just allow myself to be posative. If I do become preg this month I want the whole thing to be a happy thing for me, I guess that if it doesn't happen I will do my cring and then try again next month. I really do feel that even though we only got to bd once the day before I Oed, there is still a gtreat chance that I can be preg. I want to think + and maybe it will come out that way. I get myself all stressed out every month and most of it comes from me telling myself not to get my hopes up. (hope you could follow that)
I don't want to get preg and start my little angels life off by stressing myself out and then my baby has to live it's first few weeks in a unhealthy environment. I really believe that how you are during your preg, your baby can feel that. If your sad, baby will be sad; if your stressed, baby will be stressed. I want my baby to have the best start and a happy one. I guess if I'm not pre, I will deal with it when AF comes. I really hope I can keep this up for another week or so.
Well thats it for now.

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Posted: 2003-04-02 08:54
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CD29; 5DPO Temp 98.1
Well my temp is still up I am still going to think + about my chances of being preg. I know there is still a good chance that it can happen. We will see in5 or 6 days.
thats it for now WML.

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Posted: 2003-04-02 13:49
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OMGosh!!!!!
I heared the funniest thing on the radio today. There was a study that found that Lilies of the valley cent made sperm swim faster, How funny is that. Dr's need to find a way to spray or gel that were it is needed.
Just wanted everyone to know.

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Posted: 2003-04-03 18:02
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CD30 6DPO,
Well I got really dizzy today and thought I was going to passout but I think that is from the problems I am having with my ulcar. My bb's are hurting today to but I am a DD and they hurt sometime for no reason other then they are tooooooooo big. I have always had a VERY large chest even when I was thin. I went and bought some preg tests though, just in case. I will waite until atleast monday to take them, I got a + with ds when I was only 10DPO sp I am hoping if I am preg that I will get a BFP they same way. I have 2 tests so I guess I can take it the day I'm going to get af, if it doesn't come. I have been VERY tired the last two days and that really isn't like me, nomatter how bad I want to be preg that is one simp. I never bring on myself.
well thats it for now.
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Posted: 2003-04-04 08:55
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CD31, 7DPO Temp98.2
Well my bb's hurt again today but not like they do when I have AF. When I was brestfeeding I could feel the milk drop and the inside of my brest were sore. Thats how they feel now, not brused were they are sensative to touch but like presure pain inside. I'm not going to read too much into it because I know that my milk glands are still making milk, it never compleatly dried up. I still can express a drop from both. BY the way that is something they never tell you in health class or at the dr's. My dr told me after I had stopped for a year, that sometime woman never dry up. I hope that after #2 it will. It's not like it comes out like it did when I was feeding I have to express it to get it to come out. I thik that people go a little far when they tell you how much it hurts to stop nurseing. I didn't have near as much pain as I thought I would. I thought it hurt worse when my mikl dropped. I can't believe how much I miss nursing. I always thought that I could never nurse because I thought it would be too weird. I always thought of my brests as a tool for sex, but the first time I brestfed my DS, it was the most wonderful thing I have ever done. It is so weird because it is like that part just disconnects and then when you are done brestfeeding and your husband getts his boobs back, they work good as new. I never thought it would be that way so I always felt weird about it. I pray that all you want to be first time moms all get a chance to feel that connection with your own babies. I feel like someone is sittng on my chest. This sucks!! I would rather them be sore like normal. I am trying not to think that they hurt because I could be preg. If my milk glands are what is causing me pain then that could mean that they are getting ready to make milk and thats why they hurt. You see that is what I don't want to start doing, not that I am not thinking + about being preg because I know there is a chance but I am not going to get into telling myself because my bb's hurt that that means that I am preg. Follow me?
I think that the 2WW sould be called psycho2WW all of us seem to go through the same thing every month, I am so happy that I am not the only person that is crazy
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Posted: 2003-04-05 20:42
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CD32, 8DPO, Temp 98.4
Well it is still going up and mt BB's are still hurting. The last three days I have been so tired that when my DS goes down for his nap I take one too. It's really nice because he take three to four hour naps. I went out with a friend and her dd tonight, DS and I met them for dinner. I haven't had a very good week as far as my friends go. The friend I met tonight and another one of my friends told me this week that they have cancer. The one I met with tonight has Hojkins ( sorry if I spelled that wrong ) and my other friend has brest cancer. The good thing about both is that they caught them both VERY early so they will both do well. The friend that has BC only has to have the lump removed. I have had so many people that I care about have cancer. I HATE IT!!!! When I was 14 my very good friend who was only 15 found that she had ovarion cancer, she is ok now but she was only 15. Then there was my fav. uncle he died when I was 10 from lung cancer, it started in his testties and was shattered when he was hit there with a baceball and it moved to 80% of his body, it hit his lungs and killed him. I have had two other family members with cancer and my sweet MIL had it too. I hate that disease more then anything.
On baby front, I am waiting until monday to take the HPT, I got really sick to my stomach today on and off but that could be from my acid reflux and ulcar, so I'm not reading too much into it. I am thinking + though because I do feel kind of the way I did when I was preg with DS. I think that I'm doing very well this month with not thinking myself into have fake symptoms. I know that the ones I'm having are real and I now that they could be coming from other problems I have so I am being optimistic but realistic at the same time. I love being able to put my thoughts down in this.
Well thats it for now.

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Posted: 2003-04-07 23:23
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Well not much to say today. I really don't think that I'm preg this month but thats OK. I had a long weekend and I'm glad it is over. I am hoping now to see some BFP from some of you other ladies. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!

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Posted: 2003-04-07 23:23
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Well not much to say today. I really don't think that I'm preg this month but thats OK. I had a long weekend and I'm glad it is over. I am hoping now to see some BFP from some of you other ladies. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!

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Posted: 2003-04-08 16:11
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Well not much to say again today, temp is still up but I think AF is comeing we will see in about 5 days or so. I have been really tired though the last week or so but i took the HPT on sunday and it was - but thats ok. I might test tomarrow or waite till friday I don't know yet. I am ok though, I am just really hoping to see some other woman get some +++++ . well thats it for now, I'm looking forward to tonight. Hope everyone can be there.

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Posted: 2003-04-12 08:41
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CD1 Temp 97.3
Well the start of another cycle and I'm not upset at all, I would love to be preg this month but I am not as upset as I was the last couple of months. I guess it is time to start over. I really think that this board has helped me to get through TTC without going crazy. My DH even notice that I didn't go nuts this month.
Well thats it for now.

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Posted: 2003-04-14 09:02
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CD3
I found out the coolest thing, I had these plants outside the house that DH and I lived in when we got preg with DS and I loved these plants because the flowers smelled so nice and during the part of the year I got preg they were flowering. I found out yesterday that they were Lilly of the Valley, How funny is that. I was thinking that if that study is true then maybe that is why we got preg so easy the last time. Now I'm getting some to plant outside of my house ( Under our bedroom window ).
I aslo went to this cute little greanhouse that we have in our town and bought some lavinder and put one in my kitchen and the other in my livingroom. The plants smell SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOnice and I have really cool things that I can do with the flowers. They are also suposed to be stress realievers. I need that this week because everyone in this house is sick again this is the fifth time for all of us. We have had the worst sick season. In Feb. I got the Flu the throwup one and my DS got pnomonia (sorry if I spelled it wrong) then DH got my fle and about two before I got the flu I had a throte infection, so the whole time I was getting sick I had a VERY sore throte the the first day I felt better after the flu went away I got a cold and them when that went away I got influenza A around that time my DS got pnomonia again, the first time he got it we took him to the hospital and they sent us home and acted like we were stupid for bringing him in, the thing that really made me mad was the fact that I knew there was something wrong with my baby , I am with him all the time and I know how he is when he is sick and I knew there was something different about this time and I kept telling my husband that I knew there was something wrong and the stupid Dr's wouldn't do any tests on my son. They sent us home and said that he had croup, I know what that sound like and this was different, and on top of that he had a 104.9 temp and we couldn't get it to come down. They made us sit in that hospital for hours and then sent us home like we were stupid for even bothering them with this in the first place. When the Dr came in to send us home I said to him, You aren't going to do any tests??????????and he said no he just has croup. I took my DS to his Dr the next day and the second I walked in the door we didn't even get to the room before he said he wanted an x-ray and blood workup, the blood didn't show the pnomonia but the x-ray did. The really fun part about this whole thing is that I found that it takes 6 months for a small childs lungs to heal completlyfrom that so now every time he getts a chest cold or croup he get pnomonia so this week makes three times in three months, DH almost never getts sick but this year has been bad for even him.
well thats it for now.
Thank God we got our POW's back!

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Posted: 2003-04-16 07:32
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Well it's CD5 and I am just wishing AF would leave. I was SOOOOOOO happy to see that two of the wonderful woman on here are preg. That makes me so happy because I have been praying for all of them, ParkerA is next!
Well as far as I'm going, my baby boy is sick AGAIN He had to get a shot yesturday because the meds he was on for the last week didn't work and because he gets pnomonia so easy they needed to make sure that he doesn't get it again. He got up at about 5:30 today and I m so tired. He should take a good nap today. Well as far as TTC goes, not much to say, just waiting to O.
Well thats it for today.

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Posted: 2003-04-17 07:15
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well today will be another fun day. My DS is sick and the only one that he wants is daddy. He screamed all day yesturday because daddy left and it looks like the same is going tp happen today. He is sitting on my lauph right now and is screaming because daddy is going to work. I have to type with one hand.
On the TTC front, nothing new, AF is almost gone and I have been in the mood for the last few days (if ya know what I mean ;))
Well thats that for now

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I don't kow what to think about this diet. I feel like I am gaining weight not looseing. I will find out on Sunday. Well Af left and I am soooooo happy, I hate haveing such long periods. I have to waite another 16 days before I O now this sucks that my cycle is so long. I got some really good news yesturday though. Dh and I don't have insurance (long story), so we applied for family health plus because last year we didn't make alot of money we thought that we could get it , well we were just a little over the salary cap. I was told that if we get preg they count that as another person in our family even though they aren't here. I was hopeing to be preg by now so we would have the insurance because it covers EVERYTHING and I mean everything, we have the child health plus for Elijah (DS) and I THANK GOD for that everytime he gets sick. Well anyway, I got two cards in the mail a few days ago and I didn't know what they were for and I called the # that was given to me yesturday and they said that we qualified for the family planning benifits which covers all Family Planning Dr. visits. I was sooo happy because I have been wanting to go to my Dr. and see why my cycles are all messed up and long and why we haven't become preg yet, so I go next Friday. It will cover any tests we may need done even the ones on DH Biggrin . I am so glad that is one less thing to stress me out. I hate not having insurance. By the time our membership runs out we should be able to get other insurance.
Another really good thing that happened is that I found out yesturday that the house I want just had the price lowered on it so I think that DH and I may put an offer out. I don't know about anyone else but my DH takes forever to "THINK ABOUT IT" . It isn't the bigest house in the world, a three bed, 1.5 bathroom, and 3.5 acres, butfor us it is perfect. It has a very big yard and a full basement and it is very open and it has 2 decks one on the front and other on the back. I really hope we can get it. I think we will offer 90,000. The stupid guy that owns it was asking 119,900 at one point and I told DH that there isn't anyone so stupid that they would pay that much for this house . He lowered the price alittle over 10, 000, but that is still too much so we will offer 90 and see what he says.
Well thats it for now.

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I don't know what is wrong with me. I have been bleeding for 9 days now. I had my reg. period and it hasn't quite left yet and this has never happened before. I am scared there is something wrong with me. I have a Dr. appt this coming Friday and I don't know if I can waite that long. I'm not bleeding alot it's more like spotting. I am just scared that there is going to be something wrong with me. I have been haveing some pains and other things that I have never had happen before. Well we will see on Fri.
Thats that for now.

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Well the bleeding stopped and I went to the Dr. yesturday and when she did the pelvic she said everything looked good and then she felt my ov's and she said that the left one felt a little big. I had to go for a US and they said that everything looks normal I got to see my ov's and the left one had 2 sists on it but they were the kind you get when you are about to O. SOOOOOO everything looks ok and they don't know why I was bleeding.I also had my thyroid checked but I wont know about that until today. My aunt has alot of problems with hers so I am alittle worried, but not enough to make me crazy. I thouoght it was cool seing my ov's they were very clear on the screen.
I am in a pretty great mood the last couple days. If you asked my DH though he would say thats not true. I had a funny thing happen at the Dr's office yesturday though, I ran into my DH X and we never got along because when I started seeing DH she did alot of crazy stuff and we just never got along. I talked to her and I think alot ofthe anger I had twords her is gone, which makes me feel great because there has been alot of anger in me when it came to her. I really feel like God knew I was ready for that to happen and knew I needed it. It is amzing to me how He works in my life sometimes.My SIL and niece are up from NJ and I think that DH and I really needed that. We ALWAYS have the best time when her and her DH come up, they are SOOOOO much fun.
Well thats that for now.

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Well I am on Cycle day 13 and I still have until may 5 before I O. I do 3 diff charts and I had a problem with them yesturday. I had three days were Dh and I slept with our fan on because it got really hot and so my temp was 97.5 for 3 days and then the first night without the fan my temp went up to97.9 and then, 97.7 and today it was 97.6 and because of the fan two of my charts thought I Oed a few days ago but that isn't the case. The only one that didn't take it back was the preg.org one. I thought it was messed up because I have NO sign of O. I was told by the US lady that my left ovary was getting ready to O. She said " you are going to ovulate soon" . I hate that I am such a psyco because then I think about that and wonder if I will have time to start BD before I O or will I O sooner ?????? My cycle last month was 2 days shorter but I was happy about that because I was hoping that they would go back to 28 or even 31 days. I still haven't heard from my Dr. about any of my tests yet. I have to call at 10:30. I know that the lady that did my US said everything looked good and my Dr. said everything looked good to her so I don't know what is going on with me. I think that there is a good chance for us this month.
Well thats that for now.

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Well I went to the Dr. and she said that everyting looks good and that the only thing that looked a little off was that I have alot of cyists on my ovaries and that I might need some progest. to get rid of them. I will have to write more la.ter because DH and I have family from NJ up and we are about to go out

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Ok everything is back to normal.
I had a good weekend and I am happy that it is over at the same time. DH and I had family up from NJ and we spent all week almost with them. I have kept up my temping and nothing to say yet, but Dha nd I got 2 days in on BDing so far this cycle.
Now back to my Dr's appt. I had some more blood work done on Fri and this time they are checking to see if I do have Polycyistic ovaries (sorry if I spelled that wrong). My Dr. said if that is the problem then I will have to take progest. to help get rid of them. I am counting on God to heal them and that. I think that I am getting my cycle back to normal, if my body is doing what it is suposed to then I am VERY close to O. I have had EW CM for the last 2 days. I hope I O. My Dr. said that the temp spike last cycle is a great sign that I Oed last cycle and that my temps are perfect. I am glad that I can temp and have it be so clear.
I am also VERY VERY happy for all the wonderful woman that are preg this month. God Bless all of you and may you all have WONDERFUL pregnancies. I haop to start my preg journal next month.
Parkera, this is your month!!!!!!! Lol

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I still have no sign of O as far as temp and OPK go. I have EW CF and my cervix is high and soft but still waiting for O. I wonder if I am Oing at all?. I can't waite to hear what the tests show. :roll: Dh and I had a good weekend. We spent it with his family. I am closer to his family then my own. They are wonderful people. Well thats it for now.

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My body is going crazy. I don't kow what is wrong with it. I have no signof O and my temps are being stupid and OPK isn't showing anything but a BFN. I don't know what the results of the bloodwork I had done on Friday are because my Dr hasn't even got them yet. I have had REALLY sore BB's all day yesturday and today and I started cramping today. I don't mind if I'm not preg this cycle I just want my body to be normal. I know there is something off with it. If you look at my chart last month and then look at this month it is like night and day. Last month it was perfect and this month it's off. I don't even know if I Oed, even the three charts I am doing can't agree. preg.org said it was on CD12 and FF said it was on like CD16 and babymed hasn't given me one. I don't know what is wrong with me but I hope my Dr. finds out. I hope that it is just my cycles are getting shorter. That would be nice.
Well thats it for now.

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Well I guess I Oed and that means that I am 3 days past O. I got the call from my Dr. yesturday and she said my blood work was good and she wanted me to have progest. treatments next week. I don't know why but she is going to call me and let me know why. I hope that fixes what ever is wrong with me. I this I Oed on the CD 16 or 17 I don't know which. I never got a + OPK this month and my temps are all messed up looking, not like last month were you couldn't miss that I Oed. It doesn't look like we have a good chance this month. The really wierd thig is that the last three days or so, my BB's have been killing me and that isn't a normal thing. I have had shooting pains in my ab. for the last few days but I really doubt that it has anything to do with a preg. I wish that I could have had a little more warning this month so that we could be ready. Last month I Oed on CD24 and this month it was on CD16 or 17, if my LP is still 14 days then I have a 30 day cycle this month. I am happy about that because I hate them being 40 days and it will go by faster this time. I guess that unless I see something else happen with my temps or I have some other reason to think that I soulndn't, I will test on the CD 30 or 31. I'm on CD21 right now so I have a while.
Well thats it for now.
I am praying for ParkerA and trixie, I really hope this is your month, I gladdly give up my babydust to you.

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Well I went to my Dr's today and she said she is going to hold off on the preg because my cycle seems to be fixing itself. I had a wonderful peace about it the other day and I told my DH that I really felt like God told me that he was going to heal me and what do you know, He did. I don't think that we got the egg this month though. I am a little upset because last month and this month the problem was that I Oed early so we didn't get a chance to bd the way I hoped we could. I just hope my cycles even out soon so I can get a good idea of when we can bd. There is a small chance that we may of got lucky. If I was 17 and not married I would be preg by now. I wonder if it has something to do with the ring. That finger must have a vain in it that getts cut off when you wear a ring. My mother still had her hyman when she had my sister. I guess she never really had sex , the jerk ( my bio father ) didn't get the job done if you know what I mean. The Dr had to cut it when she had my sister. I know that sounds funny but I asked my Dr if that was possible and she said rare but possible. I guess a man just needs to get one strong swimmer in there and that one needs to get to the egg and thats it. Why can't that happen with me. My older sister the one that I was just talking about was on BCP when she got preg with my nephew . Both my mom and sis weren't married when they got preg. I am and I figured that I was doing it right, I don't know :dontknow:
well thats it for today.
All my babydust to parkera and trixie. My prayers for all the woman on TTC.

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I am feeling really good this cycle. I am not getting myself all stressed about being preg or not because I am almost + that I'm not because we didn't get enough BDing in. I'm not upset at all. I figure it is going to be alot better now that my cycles are going back to noraml. I am just happy that I don't have to waite so long to O. I just hope that I get my period on the 11th if I'm not preg. I am not saying that there isn't a chance, I guess there is always a chance we did bd 3 times around O day so all I really need is one strong swimmer. I am just not getting my hopes up this month because I don't know exactly when I Oed and that makes it kindof hard. I will see in 8 days or so. I have alot going on this week so I wont really be able to get myself all worked up about it.
As far as the rest of my life goes. I am planning my DS, Elijah's second birthday party. I can't believe that it has been 2 years. I feel like I just had him and now he is talking and walking and I'm going crazy. We are having his party at Chucky Cheese and I can't waite to see his reaction when we getther. It isn't cheep to have a party there. I always said that I would do this kind of stuff for my kids because we never had it done for us. My parents didn't have much money. They always did their best and mad sure to give us as much as they could. I love them for that. I want to give my children a little bit of everything, I want them to have cool things done for them like this but at the same time I don't want to spoil them. It's hard not to spoil him when I love him so much.
Well thats it for today.
Still praying for all the TTCers and All my babydust to Parkera and Trixie.

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OMGosh OMGosh OMGosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so trying not to get worked up about this but, I have been haveing some weird things happening today. I got really dizzy when I was making lunch for me and the boys and I thought it was just because I was hungary. My BB's aren't hurting as much as they have been lately, and about ten minutes ago I went to the BR and I noticed some CM which had gone away about 4 or 5 days ago and it had some blood. I know this isn't AF because I am only 4 days past O and I am really praying that it is implantation spotting. I started to cry because I really am felling like it is a good possiblity now. I am going to go crazy now. PLEASE O PLEASE GOD LET THIS BE IT. I know that I am going to cry if in a week I take a test and it is +. I don't know haow I am going to get through the next 8 days. The BB's thing is normal for me. When I got preg with DS they almost stopped hurting all together. They always hurt really bad from O day until AF comes. I am really trying not to get too worked up but it's not working. Biggrin I am SOOOOOOOOOO happy right now because I had the weirdest feeling that something cool was going to happen today.
Well thats that for now.

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OK! I am really messed up. I hard a little bit more spotting today. If you can even call it that. It is just little blood tinged CM and it isn't even like when I first get my period. It is making me excited and I don't want to do that and then have it be nothing. I do have a good feeling though. The spotting stopped now and it wasn't like constant or anything but it was definately there. I can't waite until next Sunday because I am going to test then. If I am preg then I will be due around Jan 22 or 25 depending when I Oed. I have been talking to my belly since I first saw the blood I want my baby to know from the first possible second that He/She is loved more than anything. I will be honest though, I am pulling for a healthy baby but I need a little more estrigen in my life if you know what I mean. We have names for both though. Hannah Faith if we have a girl and Gabriel Theodoris (Ted after my dad) if we have another boy. I need to calm down and not get myself all worked up. I will see in a week.

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I want to test so bad. I don't know if I can waite. I tested everyday from the day I Oed until I got a BFP with DS. I just know that I am going to do the same thing this month. I have been drinking alot and having cramping since yesturday I had all that with DS and I have had a headache for three days and I am affraid to take anything because I don't know yet. I am trying to be calm and not get my hopes up but I really feel like this is it. I really think that I am preg. this month. I don't know. I hope I'm not setting myself up for another let down. I guess we will see in a few days. I'm not going to tell DH until I go to the Dr's and have her comfirm it. I am going to bye picture frames and put a piece of paper with Baby M and my due date on it in the frame and then I will give it to my parent and DH's parents and one to DH, and that is how I will tell everyone. I really need everyone to pray that I don't make myself crazy.
Well that that for now.

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well I hads some blood work done yesturday (I can't waite for anything) and I should get the results around ten or so. I really need to know because I have a nerologist appt. toay and I need to know if it is safe for me to keep it if I'm preg. Iwanted this so bad I'm not going to do anything to hurt my baby. The time is going by SOOOOOOOOO SLOOOOOOOOOW! I hate waiting. I really hope that I can come back here later with good news.
Well thats that for now.

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Joined: 03/04/03
Posts: 175

Well it was a BFN. I am ok even though I thought that this was it because of the temp drop and spotting, but I had a big temp drop today and AF is on here way. My temps went from 98.3 yesturday to 97.6 today so she is coming. I guess my cycles are really getting close to being back to normal because From the way my temps look AF should be here in a day or two and that mans that my cycles are 28 days this month, give or take a day. I am really happy abooutthat because it was so hard having a cycle that was 40 days long. I guess that means that we will have more chances to get preg. I hated Oing every 40 days thats almost every month and a half. Now we can BD like crazy. Biggrin
Well thats that for now
All my babydust to Parkera and Trixie.GL to all the other TTCers

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