well the period is officially back to normal two days of med. before tapering off, today is light but still bright fresh red!!! been taking b6 still and the tea is delicious!!! have to go and get a strainer for it today. I'm going to victoria in june!!!!! going to stay with my bff (fuchsia) and get to see her little one and my mom, i can't wait, daddy is going to stay home a try to quit smoking! i wish him the best of luck but i have my doubts (not that im saying anything to him) well life is pretty low key right now so i will say my ttfn's, big hugs, lots of love Mom
af is done, three days of normal is good! the tea is great, i am so optimistic about this cycle. even if it doesn't pan out there are so many good things happening, with appt.s and regular stuff it's great to see my body responding the way it should be. and to be honest i'm not sure how happy i am at the thought of a winter baby in this province! okay so seriously not going to complain if it happens, january is the start of the bad weather around here and it's april and finally warming up and melting off. its been beautiful the last couple of days and i can't wait to start walking and swimming and stuff! would like to break the 200lbs point before my trip to vic in june (still holding at 202lbs as of yest) so i know i can do it, three lbs in three months is do-able! nothing special going on today! daddy wants to play computer so i will probably be reading all day (currently working on twilight series, odd thomas series, and discworld series; have a couple of each and i'm alternating while waiting for more to come in!) yes mommy is a huge bookworm and can read through a 600 page book in about two days! bedtime stories will be a routine no question about it! well off to have my tea, love you lots, sending happy thoughts, Mom!
so i think i might be starting to cycle, really not feeling myself lately, but i can't quite put my finger on it. if i am it's just starting, little mood swings, feeling disconnected from reality, but u am still holding on to control and acknowledging it is the first step. will KUP on that front, i really don't want to have to go back on my meds until after pregnancy. as for the coffee and smokes things; well the smokes are still doing good cutting back (holding 8-9 now) the coffee is another story, i need it! physically it seems that my bowels now require it! okay so part of that's probably all in my head but it has always been my morning thing, coffee, smoke, bm. so i am going back to regular coffee and see what happens. the sleep thing is getting on my nerves, i'm so tired and all i want is a nap during the day but i can't seem to. then by 6:30 pm i'm a zombie, really looking forward to the sleep clinic to get things moving along. 201lbs today!! slowly but surely, i'm going to break the 200 mark! thinking friday if the weather holds i will go to the pool, today i am going out with aunty anna for a bit, she is making ribs but i'm not sure if i'm going to stay for dinner or not. abdomen still a little crampy but it seems to be over (had some late day spotting yest.) so now the countdown begins, 12-15 days till o (we hope) and then 10-12 days till we know! we hope! love you lots, Mom.
so this year apparently my stomach hates me, i think this is the most i've ever thrown up in one year! laid down to watch tv this morning and had to sit up right away and grab the bucket. been having weird feelings in the lower abdomen for about two weeks now, first a sharp stabbing pain, then weird rolling flutters and now i'm throwing up again. can't wait till monday to see what's going on in there. after the last bleed i'm really sure that i'm not preggo's yet, but getting a little worried that there is something wrong. been tired and dizzy lately, no appetite, and a little mood shifty (thinking if this cycle doesn't do it then i will be going back on the meds) i am losing weight (slowly) but i am back up to a dd cup bra (was a small d after surgery last year) none of this makes sense to me. oh well, things are in play to get looking at it so i guess now all i can do is wait, i hate waiting! and to top it all of i finished book two of twilight yest and the tracker says that the chapters order was in yest but the stupid mailman didn't buzz us AND didn't leave a slip like the tracking says. i'm really not impressed. credit card is still showing a 28$ discrepancy that hopefully is the disney movies but it hasn't listed yet so will have to keep an eye on it. went out with aunty anna yest and had to go home after the shopping, was feeling overwhelmed by noise pollution and had to find some quiet, not a good sign. daddy is pulling a bunch of overtime this month, and triple time today! it's a stat so he gets the double time for working it. plus the regular time for it being the stat. off to go through the motions of another boring day, i should go to the store and get a few things but i think it can wait till tom. love lots, Mom.
having a bad day. really tired, threw up again this morning, can't wait till monday to see if there's anything going on in there. there doesn't seem to be any relation to why i'm throwing up this time or the last time, it's more than a little frustrating. have to go out today and pick up a few things but really don't want to go anywhere. i hope that you make an appearance soon, i will have to go back on the meds at the end of this cycle if you don't, going to try and ride it out for one more though. getting anxiety about going outside and that's really not a good sign as that's one of the things that starts it all off. going to call aunty anna later and see if she will take me out so that i don't have to take anything (ativan is not good for you!) and i really don't want to take anything. just thought i'd make some notes here so i have a record of when things are happening. going to lie down until anna is up (it's sat. so she will prob want to sleep in a bit) love you lots, mom.
had the ultrasound today, they did an exploratory (inside and out) it was weird but also reassuring to know that things are getting done now. hoping that they find all is well and that we just need to keep trying. i KNOW that the hormones are regulating now! when i am off the pill i usually have a pretty high libido around ovulation time, lately that hasn't been the case, but now it's right back to when i met dad, the mere smell of him is enough to drive me out of my mind (literally he has to sit on the chair not the couch) this should be a good sign! should hear back with the results b friday so will be trying to distract myself a lot this week, crossing fingers and toes and trying to go with the flow! love you lots, will kup, Mom.
it's snowing, it's wet and warm and snowing in april. okay so we had snow in may two years ago and in june last year but seriously this sucks, i have to go out and get milk today! feeling a little more coherent today, daddy came home in a good mood yest! hoping this holds until next week, o should be sometime in the next week. i'm sleeping better and haven't thrown up in a little while, beginning to wonder if the temp change and hormone shift associated with af (before during and after in feb) might be causing it. will have to wait and see, will try to remember to ask when we go to the clinic. now we have fun and wait! love lots, mom.
daddy liked the tea!! made him drink peppermint tea yest to help with his libido and his stomach ache and his sore throat and he liked it!! it worked too! so i got to wake up to a great morning with my best man ever (unless your a boy then it's a close tie!) and i get to pick up the books i ordered and just have a nice day, it's beautiful outside already! it snowed yest but it's all gone now. i'm still spotting afterwards but dad says i'm really tight so i'm thinking it's just tearing, nothing major, just need more practice to toughen things up. he watched twilight with me last night and now gets why i called it a distraction not a cause of the current feelings! it was a good movie but the books are way better (usually are). well that's about it for today, spring is in the air, i'm in heat and life is great! love always, Mom.
things are running along smoothly, except that the mailman is going to be able to see behind him without turning around. the books were tagged as 'delivered' and then 'attempt failed tag left for pick up' on thursday, but there was no tag in the mailbox till monday! then i went to the post office tues (yest) to get them and they weren't there yet!!! i was so mad i kept mumbling under my breathe about how mad i was! but i got go out for a walk with daddy and uncle mike so it wasn't so bad! we finally got our new deck! it's pretty now:
okay so for the 3 1/2 yrs we've lived in this apartment and complained because this is what the deck has looked like (and getting worse all the time)
and this is the new one that they finally did!!
also got warcraft second copy so daddy will be setting it up on his dad's computer so we can play together, he's so excited to play it with me!
i am still drinking the special tea and hoping that it helps, still waiting on the doc to call with results. i totally want the twilight series on book now so that i can re-read it! lots of waiting! but i love you and will continue to wait till you feel you are ready for us! Mom.
it looks like we have o (maybe) high temp this am but i slept in! some ew and still feeling very tingly around daddy. hoping he comes home in a good mood, i want to catch this one with some good timing (so far so good). i'm really loving the deck! got warcraft loaded on papa's computer for dad, but need to get it loading the right server realm! spent the whole day at papa's (arg!) books should be in today, hoping to get out later and go see, get some things from the store, nothing much. i'm kind of starting to like this 'shop as needed' thing, it's just harder to keep track of the budgeting for it, thankfully this month that hasn't been an issue and it's not really shopping it's just restocking as we go! so daddy has add and is dyslexic (he has learned very well how to overcome these things but still does not enjoy reading as it is work) and i have always wanted to share the books i read, with him. well d'uh! audiobooks! after watching me read the twilight series (among others lately) he is very interested when i say a book is better than the movie! after a little searching he is now listening to the harry potter series! unfortunately this means we will have to get a bigger ipod as he broke his and mine isn't big enough to hold any book other than the first one (120 mb capacity, book 2 is 177 mb!) but that's okay, we needed new ones anyway! my moods have been fairly stable so far (minor fluctuations here and there) and have been fairly happy! crossing fingers that this is the month, love always, Mom.