Craziness...that's the best way to describe the rollercoaster that has been my TTC history. This is a tale of long cycles, anovulation, Recent Loss - M/C after 10 weeks this June...now getting the courage to TTC AGAIN!
Here's the long version:
After about 10 years of BC (pills and Depo), I finally took a break and went cold turkey! We started TTC in March 2002. I read "Taking Charge of Your Fertility," LOVED IT...and immediately started charting my BBT, checking CM, etc. Never DID find my cervix though
Anyway, after realizing I have very long cycles...some as long as 42 days...and accepting that I was commonly anovulatory...we had decided to do the infertility tests (for me) after charting for 9 months. They all came back negative (i.e. I was suppossed to be okay). So the doc talked to me about STRESS...
Funny thing about that...I think she was right. We both knew that our lives in the SF Bay Area were not conducive to having a family. But I did not want to admit it may also be the reason we couldn't conceive! Ironically, right after I got the infertility results, my DH came home with the option of a voluntary lay off! We had a decision to make...keep living the Silicon Valley lifestyle or head back closer to our roots. We decided to take the package and head to TX!
2 weeks later, we were on our Thanksgiving Vacation/House Hunting Trip, and...it happened!!! I actually think we conceived on Thanksgiving! I had written it off as a long cycle, but finally got the guts to test the week before Christmas. What an amazing gift it was for our folks to tell them the good news!!!
Little Miss Victoria came 9 mos later, on 8/20/03. The PG was a breeze. Had to have a c/s only because she was so BIG and I was overdue. 3 u/s put her at over 10#s! She came in at 9.7oz, but I'm so glad we didn't do the inducing and risk possible labor complications...she was just perfect!!!
After BFd for 6 mos (which I absolutely loved by the way), my cycle finally returned in March. I only had one more period after that and we got PG!!! The details: 1st AF day was 4/7/04...the hubby and I were both traveling the next couple of weeks when I got VERY clear EWCM on Day 17. We both had just returned that night, so we had some real fun the next morning!!! AMAZING BD too I felt earthquakes....
Anywho...that was Day 18. I got a BFP on the EPT on Day 41. Couldn't believe it...tested again the next day...also +! So I called the Doc and his urine test confirmed I was in fact Preggers! The pregnancy calendar gave me an EDD of 1/19/2005. Doc put me (originally at 1/15/2005). I think he's wrong (just like I thought with Victoria).
We did an U/S that day, and while he could clearly see the yolk sac, there was no heartbeat. So he estimated me at 5 weeks. 2 weeks later, I started spotting (while traveling). Came back for another u/s and we saw a heartbeat. 2 more weeks and the spotting started again...also during my travels. This time the u/s did not have good news for us.
I kept bleeding for 5 more days until I finally had a D&C. That was 6/14/04. I was devastated...just really wasn't prepared for losing our little angel. It's been a lot of teary days, getting support on these boards, and generally just healing.
I'm so ready now. I've even hooked up with old board buddies again (one person, Jen, was a due date buddy for me on the Jan board...we both also posted our m/c the same day. We both continue to pray for success this month).
PLEASE GOD...if it's your will, please answer our prayers again.
So now that I've done the background, here's the start of our TTC AGAIN journey...
I decided I needed to start this today as I've been getting my "signs". I am on Cycle Day 14 (my AF returned on 7/21). On Sunday CD 12, I did my first temp again...at 96.8. Seemed low for me. Felt crampy yesterday and today...also seeing some creamy CM. Also saw a spike in the temp yesterday to 97.2...today was 97.3 (admittedly, it's hard to tell with only 3 days). The BBT charting tool here thinks today is my O day!!! One negative is that I took my first OPK...it had only the faint line...so either I've missed my LH surge or it hasn't happened yet. I'm kinda confused.
I so hope for a boy, for the DH's sake. He's perfectly happy to have either, I know, but I also know how badly he wants a son. I would really love that too. Although the doctor couldn't confirm, in my heart I believe that our angel was a little boy.
Problem is, the books say we need to time it just right. I'm afraid to do the BD tonight and then maybe still not be O'ing? I think I'll see what kind of mood he's in...we might just have some fun anyway