I don't even really know where to start this. Seven years ago--my husband and I started trying to have a baby. After a year of frustration--we did the "infertility" workup. I have to put that in quotations--because it isn't really infertility--more like subfertility. If I am truly infertile--that would mean it is impossible to conceive, right? IE--inable-means NOT able, inappropriate-not appropriate. Anywho--I had 3 IUIs with clomid with no luck. Then, my OB did an HSG--where they inject dye into your tubes and take X-rays. I had a blockage on the left side that was flushed out. Ten days later--I had an IUI--and 2 weeks after that--an amazing BFP. My daughter was born in January of 06.
We never really used any prevention after she was born. After her first birthday--we started to seriously try on our own for a while. Then, we went back to clomid and IUIs. After just 2 cycles--I had another BFP and was thrilled. Unfortunately--at 8 weeks--I had a miscarriage. It was the most horrible thing that ever happened to me. It began on September 11th--making a terrible day even more terrible. We had 2 more IUIs and then took a break. We had 2 more later--and a break. Last spring--4 more IUIs. My doctor wanted to do a repeat HSG--we even had it scheduled--but my insurance company said that I couldn't have a second one. You only get one per lifetime. (which makes me wonder--if I get cancer, will I only be allowed chemo once--even if it comes back later? Insurance policies make no sense when it comes to infertility) After awhile--my OB talked me into a laparoscopy where he could "blow out" my tubes during the procedure.
That was yesterday. He said that I had some endometreosis--and that my right tube was clogged, but he blew it out. I will meet with him soon to go over everything. I don't really have any answers right now. I have stitches in my bellybutton and just above my pubic line. (and the only bandaids that are in my house are Hello Kitty--so imagine how ridiculous that looks at my hairline...) I also have a really sore shoulder--yikes--that is the worst part about it! It hurts more than the incision site or anything in my pelvis. Plus, I am super bloated--and feel like I am about 4 months pregnant because of the bloatedness.
I want to start this journal--because I need an outlet. Even if nobody ever reads it--I just need to get some of my thoughts out. My mom is amazing--and so is my husband. I talk to my friends a bit--but these are ladies who have had 3 kids in 4 years and 2 kids in 2 years--so as sympathetic and empathetic as they are--they can't really get it.
I just am at a place of the unknown--it's such a weird place right now. I'm also a big fan of adoption--and would love to adopt a child of color and have a multi-racial family. But I also long to be pregnant again--and go through all the changes that go with it. I'm just really conflicted.
I'm also starting to feel so old! I'm 34--and a friend from high school/college just posted pictures of her first GRANDCHILD on facebook. That is freaking me out. I'm trying to have a baby--and she has a grandchild. It's crazy.
We'll see what happens from here--my infertility place suggested IVF--but my insurance doesn't cover it--and we can't afford it. So I am curious to see where we go from here.
And here is a sidenote--I haven't read enough of the health care bill to have an opinion on it--but so many people say, "I don't want bureaucrats in Washington making health care decisions for me!" But my response to that is--who is making your health care decisions now? My doctor had to do a more expensive surgical procedure because my insurance company wouldn't pay for the procedure he wanted to perform. Would Washington bureaucrats be any worse than insurance company bureaucrats? Just wondering...
I will post as soon as I know anything. I've got a kid in the tub--and I don't think I can get out of cooking 2 nights in a row--stitches or not!
Okay--well babygirl doesn't want to get out of the bath--dinner is stewing, and I'm not supposed to be doing anything anyway--so may as well blog some more, right?
I'm feeling all philosophical--maybe the weird music that is repeating again and again on Vannah's Mermaidia DVD menu--maybe the Darvoset that I am on for pain--maybe there will be full moon tonight--who knows.
As I was cutting potatoes--I was thinking about which is worse, primary or secondary infertility? I've been through both. I guess I have a skewed perspective on primary though--because I beat it and had a child. Primary was horrible--I constantly thought about "What if I NEVER have a child? What if I am NEVER pregnant?" So with secondary I know that worst case scenario--I have a beautiful and amazing daughter. I know what it is like to feel a tiny foot under my ribs, and a baby hiccuping all the time--and what it's like to coexist with another human in the same body. It is amazing and unreal. But then again--that is part of what sucks about secondary infertility. I do know what it is like--and I know what I am missing out on! I want to go through all of that again--now that I know what to expect and can just enjoy it without looking up everything I feel on the internet because it scares me. I want to have that, "oh yeah, I remember this" feeling. So which is worse? I don't know--they both are horrible.
Honestly--having a miscarriage is the worst of all. Feeling the joy and thinking about the tiny baby in you and all the dreams you have for him/her--and then seeing it come out....it's horrible. I didn't know what to do when I passed the "product" as they call it (isn't that terrible?) --I couldn't flush my baby. I scooped it up with a plastic bag and buried in my backyard. Is that weird? Seriously, is it? I didn't know what else to do, and the only other options I could think of were flushing or throwing it away--and I couldn't get myself to do either of those. So, it's under a tree in my yard--10 feet or so away from my dogs that have died. I don't know--maybe it is all too weird.
I had a blog that detailed the entire thing--conceiving--miscarriage--loss--all of it. But apparently the company that owned the domain went out of business and everything is gone. I am a true believer that everything happens for a reason--maybe that had to happen so that I don't hang on to the raw emotion and pain that was in my posts at that time in my life. Maybe going back to it every May when my due date came wasn't healthy for me--and wasn't allowing me to heal. Maybe it needed to be gone from my life, so I can mentally move on. But I am kind of hacked that everything I wrote about Savannah was lost along with it. Maybe a higher power knew I would never let it go--it just had to be erased. See--I am way to philosophical right now.
What to do if a friend is experiencing infertility--
~Don't act like you know what they are going through unless you actually have been through it. Trying to make connections is great--but it is infuriating when you have tried to conceive for 2 and a half years or more and someone is trying to compare when it took them 3 cycles to conceive instead of "getting it" first try. Until a doctor has looked you in the eye and told you that the diagnosis is "infertility", you can't relate.
~Ask about it at good times--or email. If you aren't close enough to know where someone is in their cycle--keep your mouth SHUT in person and in public. It sucks when I just had an unsuccessful IUI--and I'm on CD 1 and am all hormonal--and somebody wants to talk about why I don't want any more kids, or am I still trying. Emails are so much better--because I can reply when I am ready and I am not put on the spot. And don't ask in front of a bunch of people either--that's the worst.
~If you want to tell an "infertile" friend that you are pregnant--seriously think about calling or emailing in advance of any big surprise announcement. She will keep your secret--don't worry and then she doesn't have the shock to deal with--or the guilt.
What guilt? Here is an example--a family member with a newly one year old says, "while we have you all here..." and I immediately know what is coming. I'm trying to figure out where to look, "we're going to have another baby." AND everybody looks at ME to see my reaction. That sucks. So I am trying to fumble out something and can't find a place to look and get out a "when are you due?" Everyone looks back, but keeps glancing at me--my husband starts rubbing my shoulders--so my eyes well up. I'm not going to cry in front of the whole family, so I dart off to the bathroom, where I try to keep my sobbing silent and pray that there is visine in the medicine cabinet so I can "get the red out" when I calm myself down. That's the guilt--now I feel guilty knowing that everyone was more worried about my reaction than the actual good news and that I spent the first moments of knowing that I was getting a new neice or nephew crying my eyes out in the bathroom. That's the guilt that could be avoided. I feel guilty that an announcement about their family gets made into a moment that is all about me. Even though I didn't bust out the tears in front of everyone--the minute I left the room, they started talking about me. I hate being the "ruiner" of happy moments.
~Don't ever talk about how someone must be "really fertile." That is so annoying. Sososososososo annoying. Say--she is really lucky, or they are really blessed, but "really fertile" is really hurtful to those who are not. And what is "really fertile" anyway? I usually double ovulate, have a "textbook" cervix, and have amazing cervical mucous--but I am still not "really fertile." I think luck, science, and the big guy upstairs have a lot more to do with it.
~Don't forget about male factor! Half of infertility is male factor. In our case--we have male factor and my clogging issues--which makes us even worse off. But everyone assumes it is the woman. And--on the same lines---DO NOT TELL ME TO RELAX AND I WILL GET PREGNANT! That deserves a ninja kick to the head. Me relaxing is not going to improve my endo-- and it's not going to thin out my husbands fluid that is causing his sperm to have low motility. I hate when people tell me to relax--that has nothing to do with it--some of the most uptight people I know get pregnant after 1 or 2 cycles--and trust me--they were not at all relaxed about it!
Okay--that's all I have for now on this topic--I feel like this isn't a very good ending to this post--and tomorrow I will probably read over this and see how all over the place it is--but that is just what is going through my head right now. Maybe because I am feeling like everything is in limbo right now--maybe my brain is just in limboland too. Maybe I am crazy--who knows? (well, I am definately crazy--how crazy is the question) Wait and see, wait and see, wait and see.
Another think that happened--and remember, I think everything happens for a reason--is that I met this amazing family that so inspires me. Mom has diabetes and should not have biological children. They adopted 3 children of color--adorable twin boys and a cutie little girl. They came into my life a few years ago--and she has given me so much information. My biggest issue with adoption has always been cost--and she explained how they paid nothing because their children are considered to be "special needs" just because they are black. (ridiculous--yes, but beneficial to me) I teach in an urban school--and honestly--race matters very little to me adoption-wise. I don't have to have a child that looks like me--I would want to be open with my child about being adopted anyway. So I find myself thinking about that---is that the path I am supposed to take?
Maybe I am just immature--maybe I want a higher power to come in and just tell me what to do, like when a child wants an adult to just tell them answers because they don't want to actually think about it. I don't know. (Like with making dinner--sometimes I wish my husband would just say--make this for dinner--and I wouldn't even have to think about it) Or maybe I'm pulling a Scarlet O'Hara on it, "I'll think about it tomorrow...." I'm just trying to figure out what I am supposed to do now, where do I go from here? I guess I should make my follow up appointment with my OB-GYN and then go from there. Questions, questions, questions, without any answers...
I don't have much to talk about tonight--but had a few minutes. I'm getting much better each day--the late afternoon hits me kind of hard each day. Just a lot of heaviness, really. My bloating is getting much better!!! Today was my first day without a nap-big girl, right? I scheduled my follow up for next Monday-I was trying to get in this week--but he wasn't available. My body is all confused, I think--it seems like my period is trying to start--but it's only CD 26--and I am always 28 days at least. I think it's just all out of whack. We'll see what happens with that. Vannah has been really good through this--every time I put an ice pack on my belly, she wanted one too! We went grocery shopping on Saturday, and halfway through I was hurting--and she kept bending down to get things and helped unload the cart. She's usually a little stinker at the store--so I was so proud of her.
I'm really still just waiting for the doctor's appointment--and trying to get all my systems back to normal. My digestive system has been rebelling through all of this--it doesn't like trauma.
We were at my in-laws and Steve was talking to them about everything. My father in law kept asking, "so what does this mean?" I don't know what he wanted as a reply--I told him--I have not a clue until I talk to my OB-GYN... It was odd.
I'm hoping that we can start trying next cycle--that would put us at over a month for recovery and healing, which should be sufficient. We'll see.
I'm tired--so off I go to bed! Sorry for a pointless post and abrupt ending!
Last edited by JulieM; 12-18-2009 at 10:28 PM. Reason: typo
Went to the ob-gyn today. He showed me lots of pictures of my insides--a cyst or 2, some endo--the dye pics. He said we should have 4-5 good cycles of trying. I'm in a crappy mood tonight, I think--I am just feeling really pesimistic. I mean, seriously, we have been trying since Savannah's first birthday and she's almost 4.... He took out my stitches--yowch--seriously painful! Plus they all started bleeding and it got all over my pants! My next cycle will start in about 3 weeks. I am just in the worst mood tonight--I don't know what my problem is.
He said I have a "beautiful pelvis." Doesn't every girl dream of that?
Okay--and here is me being pissy. Before my surgery he looked at me and said, "I'll say a prayer for you before I start." Now--I am actually fairly religious--and go to church every week, and I know he was just trying to be thoughtful....but I bit my tongue because I almost blurted out, "or--just don't botch my surgery!" I don't know why that bothered me--I guess I feel like I can do the praying--you take care of the science part, guy! Maybe I just can't handle my religion and science being mixed!
Hopefully I won't be so pissy next time I write! Sorry!
Much better mood today--which actually makes for more boring reading, right? Everybody loves drama...
Had conferences the last 2 nights--so today is my comp day--I REALLY wanted to sleep in--by Vannah has a cold and woke up coughing at 6:30. I got her to watch Tom and Jerry in my bed and dozed for a bit--but she kept coughing and waking me up. Oh well--I was able to get tons done. I cleaned the house and worked out--so now I feel entitled to play on the computer for a bit. (or hours--more likely) It's a beautiful day here--November has been balmy. October was the wettest on record, and now we may have a new record for latest hard freeze. I'm not complaining on that one, it's nice to have my windows open a little.
Vannah is off her antibiotics again--and I'm a little shakey about it. I just always have surgery in my head--I really don't want he to have surgery. She has double collecting systems on both her kidneys--so she has a total of 4 urerters when you should only have 2. They are close to one another--which causes the one-way valves to malfunction sometimes and backflow. This causes bacteria to travel from her bladder into her kidneys. It's called urinary reflux. Her urologist thinks she has a mild-moderate case of it and that she will outgrow it. She was on antibiotics for a year--tried coming off--got an infection, went back on for 5 months, and has been off for a few days now. If she gets another infection, he said he will have to decide if she should go back on meds, or have surgery. So, I am hoping and praying for no infection. She also has a huge bladder--so she can hold her pee--FOREVER. The other day, she went at 8 PM, and didn't go until NOON the next day. Her daycare teacher called me and had me come down, because she couldn't get her to pee. She finally went--it must have been a half gallon. I have actually been VERY graphic with her about how if she doesn't let her pee out, she will get really sick and need surgery. It helps that I just had surgery--she asks, "Will they put a needle in my hand? Will they have to sew me?" So she has been much better about peeing---at least for now.
We also had a HUGE milestone. Vannah has been sleeping with a binkie all her life. I have tried taking it from her repeatedly--but EVERY time she starts sucking her thumb. I would rather have her suck on a binkie than her thumb. So she finally outgrew her need to suck--and the Binkie Fairy came to our house. Vannah collected all her binkies in a fancy bag, and the binkie fairy brought Swan Palace to her. I wasn't going to get anything big for her--I was thinking just a Barbie--but I am so glad I caved and got something big! There have been a lot of nights where she says, "I want my binkies back!" So I tell her, "okay, but the binkie fairy will take Swan Palace back..." and then she changes her mind. In a MILLION years, I never would have thought that I would let my child have a binkie until she was almost four-(even just for sleeping)-but we live and learn, right?
Steve has been working overtime--so he isn't getting home until around 7:15 lately. I feel bad that he is working so much--but it is REALLY nice to be able to come home and have some time to myself. His start time has been later for the whole school year--which means we are together in the morning. I love my husband--but we have serious morning issues--he likes to play around and bump into me or intentionally get in my way...and I am so NOT playful in the morning. I don't even like to talk in the morning. Funny thing is--Vannah is the same way--and she just gripes, "daaaaadeeeeee! no thank you!" So having the evening to myself is making up for that a little, although I would prefer the morning.
I asked my doctor about going to my fertility place next cycle, and he said, "well, maybe you won't have to..." He is way way way more optimistic than I am, I think. I would love to be wrong this time, though. We'll see.
That's all I have for now!
Well...the cold is actually strep throat. Nice. We went to the doctor today--she started running fever friday night---but her urine was clean, so I wasn't too worried. (sad that I can tell if she has a uti just by looking at her urine--no microscope or test required) We went in and the doctor seemed to think she had h1n1--she had her vaccine about a week and a half before all this started, so her immunity wouldn't be fully up yet. She gave me the "wait it out" schpeel, but wanted to swab her for strep just in case because she had some red patches in her throat. It came back positive right away. She is on antibiotics--and already is acting like her crazy self again. But she is still clingy--and wanting to be in my bed. Not good for TTC...Steve has hockey tonight anyway, so I told him to take her to bed when he gets home.
Geesh--if it's not one thing, it's another. I feel like she has been so medicated in her 3+ years. Between ear infections and utis--I thought we had the gamut covered, but nope--add strep to the list. Funny thing is, I have never ever had strep. My brothers would get it really bad--one had to have a shot to get rid of it a few times. Guess she got this from her daddy.
So we're back for work/school for one day this week, and then out for TG break! Tough week!
Ahhhh Thanksgiving. Of course, I asked and asked my mom to decide what time she was doing dinner--and she procrastinated and procrastinated. (I love my mom to death--but she is REALLY a last minute person) My mother in law kept asking and then decided they would eat at 5. Next day, mom tells me she's doing dinner at 5. Nice. So we went to my mom's for an hour or so, and went to inlaws to eat.
In my old blog, I complained a lot about my sister-in-law, Steve's sister. She is the youngest child-and just drives me crazy with her sense of entitlement and egocentric way of thinking. But--all in all--I don't dislike her--she is tolerable--and we do stuff together from time to time.
OK--on to the next SIL. Steve's brother married her when Vannah was 6 months old. His brother reminds me of Cameron from Ferris Bueller's day off:
"Cameron has never been in love - at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like ***, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ***. It just doesn't work. "
That pretty much describes him to a T--he always went after the cutest girls, but they never wanted to date him. Then, he gets together with Lisa. He really is like her puppet--he does whatever she tells him. He has dropped all of his friends and hobbies.
Sooo-bottom line-this is a chick who is used to getting her way.
PLUS--I have always been leary of her because she is SOSOSO fake. You could tell her that you stepped in dog poo and she would say how wonderful it is. BUT--behind your back--she would complain about how horrible it is. Example--Steve's other sister has some issues and tends to make up stories. She always talks about how she is going to have everyone over to her house (she lives a few hours away), but everyone knows it will never happen. She was talking about needing to get something fixed in her baseboard heating. Lisa says, "now, tell me about baseboard heating, how does that work?" OK--really, do you really want to know how it works? AND do you really think she can explain it to you? Then, his sister says, "I would love to have everyone over for Easter, would you come?" Lisa replies, "of course we would, we would love to come over!" Again--I'm calling bull**** on that! Lisa skips half of the family gatherings as it is--I guarantee she will never go to steve's older sister's house.
All the fakeness annoys me--but I mostly just ignore her. Until last night....
Savannah was playing with her cousin Daniel who is almost 2, and Sam (lisa's son) who just turned one. Vann would start playing with something--and Daniel would immediately want it too. Vannah was on the computer in my lap--and Daniel wanted to come up to. I was reading to Vann, and the minute she got up to get a book, Daniel dove in my lap and laid back to block her from sitting. I'm not judging Daniel or his parents on this--it's just his age--totally a normal thing for him to do. He thinks Savannah is cool and wants to be part of everything she does. Sam and Vannah weren't really around one another much. I am usually the babysitter on this side of the family--all the adults sit around the kitchen and chat--and I am with all the kids in another room.
After dinner, I went in the kitchen, but was sitting in the doorway to the family room where the kids play to keep an eye on things. Lisa went in and sat at the coffee table with her back to me. She put some blocks on the table. The other kids were at the table too, and Savannah took some of the blocks and put them in a bucket that she had been collecting things in. Lisa put some more on the table, and Vannah reached to take some more. Lisa pushes her hand away and in a nasty tone says, "STOP taking Sam's blocks! I got these out for him to play with, not you! Everytime he wants to play with something, YOU take it away." Savannah wanted the long blocks, and started saying, "but I want to play with the big ones..." Lisa cut her off and leaned over in her face and, again, in the nasty tone with a raised voice said, "I DON"T CARE what you want. I am NOT getting them out for YOU. You can't take all the toys away from Sam!" Savannah walked away and sat on a stool with her head down.
Now--I am not saying it was right for Vannah to take the blocks. From where I sat--it didn't look like she was taking ALL the blocks--but I was 8 feet away. I have no issue with Lisa telling her not to take the blocks from Sam, or making a pile for Vannah, or anything like that. Vannah was wrong and I admit that. BUT----Lisa had absolutely NO right to talk to her like that. Her tone was awful and she was almost yelling. If Savannah was doing something so bad that she needed to be spoken to that way--then Lisa should have called me in to take care of it. I would even understand more if Vannah had done something to hurt Sam or if he was crying or acting upset. But it was SO over the top. I called Vannah in and we found something different to do.
Later--Vannah threw a fit and we almost had to go. She got it together and we came back out. Steve said something to me about it, and I replied, "she's just having a hard time because whenever she plays with something the little guys want it." I was speaking to Steve, and was refering mainly to Daniel. Lisa comes around the corner from another room and snaps, "well it goes both ways, she took things from Sam too." Seriously, I didn't even acknowledge or look at her. Everybody starts in with "oh, kids will be kids" and "it's not big deal" and stuff to diffuse the situation. But I am STILL pissed. I wanted to say, "I wasn't actually talking to you, and when your child took things from mine, I didn't get in his face and yell at him." But I bit a hole in my tongue instead. I talked to Steve later--and he said next time don't hold back because she is being ridiculous.
She also wouldn't let my MIL--who was hosting the party--sit in the kitchen chair next to her because she was saving it for her husband--who was in another room playing with the kids and didn't even eat until 30 minutes later. She's just on such a power trip. And what irks me is that Steve's family is very outspoken--but nobody will stand up to her! It's ridiculous.
Maybe I'm just oversensitive--but I am not going to allow her to talk to my child like that! I am back and forth on what I will do. I am debating about emailing everyone and saying--let's have a new rule--no yelling at other people's kids. Or, I may let Steve bring it up--he will be much more calm than me. We'll see--but it's gonna be on like donkey kong if she keeps this up! Plus, she is pregnant--so I am waiting for that card to be pulled as an excuse. Honey--being pregnant doesn't give you the right to be a psycho bia to children!
So--that's our Thanksgiving fun. I almost left when she started in on Vann. Drama drama.
My period should be coming around next weekend. I've been working out more often lately, so that's good. I have to do some more online shopping--so I am through for now.
Okay--random copy and paste--this is from a facebook thing that I was sent--just thought I would put it here too.
25 Random things about me:
1. I used to be painfully shy. People who know me now usually think I am joking when I tell them that. I outgrew it at the end of college, but fall back into it pretty easily in certain situations.
2. Being shy taught me to be comfortable with silences--even awkward silence. Awkward silence is one of my favorite teaching tools--it pushes my kids out of their comfort zones.
3. I take a really long time to form an opinion of something or someone. But once I make up my mind there is no changing it.
4. Everyone sees me as outspoken, but I don't discuss things that are really important to me.
5. I love teaching in the city--it is challenging, exciting, and sometimes aggravating---but it pushes me to be more creative, compassionate, and innovative. I would be bored teaching in the county. I feel like I really make a difference in my students' lives and truly impact them.
6. My daughter is my WORLD. She is everything to me.
7. Having a daughter made me really appreciate my mom. I can't tease her as much about the dorky things she does because I do them now too.
8. I DJed at a roller skating rink in college and I really liked it--it was fun. I worked at Rollercade in high school.
9. I miss playing ice hockey--but cannot deal with the late night ice times. Ice hockey is way more fun than roller hockey.
10. Middle school and high school were TORTURE for me. I felt like Julie-Oddball. If it hadn't been for poms--I don't know how I would have gotten through it.
11. I have learned that you can't make anyone do anything.
12. My high school boyfriend died in a car accident when we were 20 and it really messed me up for a long time.
13. I talk to myself. A lot. Not pep-talks in the mirror or anything--just thinking outloud and trying to remember stuff.
14. I do not have my times tables memorized. I aced trig and calculus. It aggravates me that some teachers think fact memorization is so important. ( I know x0, x1, x2, x5, x10, x11--that's it)
15. I start my day off with a coke and a smile.
16. I love totally innappropriate teenage boy humor type movies. I know I shouldn't--can't help it. It's my goofy brothers' fault!
17. I adore my little brothers--they totally get me.
18. It annoys me that people will ask others about having kids (or more kids) without hesitation. It's such a personal topic--and can be an extremely emotional topic.
19. I can't stand people who live in a bubble. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes.
20. I want to adopt a child of color and have a multi-racial family someday.
21. I am ambidextrous. I write with my left, use scissors and tools with my right. I draw, paint, eat, and do other things with both--without really thinking about it. An art classmate pointed it out once to me--I didn't realize I did it before that.
22. I can still put both feet behind my head. Flexible hips made for a quick and easy birthing experience!
23. I am a one person friend. My brother is one of those people who has a boatload of close friends--and it's a completely foreign concept to me. I just can't wrap my brain around how it works.
24. I hate when people take on someone else's opinion and can't back it up. Someone once said to me, " I am voting for him because my dad told me to..." and I wanted to ninja kick her in the head! Make up your own mind--you have a brain in your head--use it.
25. I am always well-known, but not popular--meaning--everyone knows who I am, but everyone doesn't neccessarily like me! I am completely okay with that.
AF is due saturday--then the circus begins again.
Vannah told me last night while going poo--"momma, why does my poo have to be brown? Why can't it be purple?" Seriously....purple is her new pink these days. In a million years I would not have thought I would have such a girlie girl.
I'll keep you posted if anything happens!