The Long Road

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sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13
The Long Road

My TTC story is as follows: I'm 31 DH 31 DS 6. I have always had anno cycles (I'm 5ft 102 lbs) everyone alwalys says just gain some weight and it won't be a problem anymore. Yeah Right. Ds came as a suprize after 6 tries on clomid we finally decided to see an RE. First appointment went well and we scheduled a lap. As a routine bloodwork showed I was pregnant (8 1/2 weeks)!! Delivered by c-section. I now get to be a SAHM and have decided another one would be a blessing (DS beggs for a sibling). Now 9 months and countless Dr. appointment and tests later we're still waiting. This is our journey broken down.
March 07- decided to stop taking BCP, 1st month only uses OPK no surge, now with my background I knew we needed help so off to the Dr we go.
April 07 - Dr prescribed BCP to get things started
May 07- Clomid 50mg days 5-9 no O provera to start again
June 07- Clomid 100mg days 5-9 4 follicles yeah -BFN
July 07- Clomid 100mg days 5-9 2 follicles _BFN
August 07- Clomid 100mg days5-9 1 follicle -BFN
Sept 07- Clomid 150 mg days 5-9, estrogen no O & hsg all clear
October 07-on BCP cysts from the 150mg, Clomid 100mg days 3-10 no O
November 07- on BCP waiting for my appointment with RE Nov 27th.
Some days I feel like giving up because of the emotional ups and downs but I know what its like to be pregnant and a mom and knowing that I can have it again I feel is worth going through all of this termoil.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

well it happened again first my sister gets opps pregnant (due in april) now my BIL goodness he's only been married 10 month and didn't even want kids. Now opps guess what we're expecting Goodness gracious did you have to tell us by e-mail GRRR:(:mad::angry2:

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

Well at least my anger has passed now I think I can be happy for them but it still hurts. It doesn't hurt as bad as when my sister told me she was expecting (due in april). I guess I'm more jealous and sad for us that it is taking so long. I wish DH and I really talked about having another sooner, and gotten on the same page but I think well it probably would have still taken this long anyway. Oh well just another pity party for myself today. Maybe I'll go out and do something fun for myself.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

Well I know I need to be in a better place so I sucked it up and told my mom. Now I don't have to lie to her about all my trips to the Dr. I decided I needed to do something to get me excited about these pregnancies so I decided to sew diaper bags for them (and that way when it is my turn I'll have ironed out all the kinks) went to the quilt store and got the cutiest material. So maybe this will help my mood and not to be so jealous and to get excited for them.:upsidedown:

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

It's pretty sad when you are counting down the days until a Dr. visit (who am I kidding its not a visit its a phone consultation). Since I'm on this pill and every week changes to a different color I get excitied about that. :bonkself: How obsessed can one get? I wonder.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

Well things are finally starting to get close. Tomorrow I start the sugar pills and Tuesday is my consult I really hope that we can get things going this cycle and not have to wait through another. I have been trying to occupy my time by doing other things so far its been going pretty good I don't feel so crazed and obsessed with that said I have been looking through a name book I just got man are there some really different names out there. We are looking for at least 2 names for each just in-case of twins but who knows I be happy with just 1 healthy baby. On the one hand I am so excited about my consult and on the other I am terrified of injections but I know that that will get us where we need to be.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

:yahoo:Yeah I finally had my phone consult with my RE he seemed really nice and supportive not pushing thing like I expected. I get to start injection this cycle now if only my period would start we could get this thing going. CD3 blood work and a sono then injection classes (:eek:yikes). O well if we get a baby from this I'll do whatever it takes.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

It sucks being in limbo. I called the Dr yesterday because I still hadn't started so they say I should have Wed because I had colored CM so then Friday was day 3 and because I called after 3pm they aren't going to be able to get me started on my meds (just great) I mean all this time waiting for an appointment only to find this out - that I need my cd3 bloodwork done before they can start meds and DH SA needs to be done - well good grief you could have told me this earlier so then the nurse tells me to go ahead and get my bloodwork done so at 5pm I run to the hospital and have 5 vials taken get home and guess what 5 hours later. I start now what do I do? Its Friday night 10pm and do I have to redo all the bloodwork? So I guess it will be a long weekend waiting to call the Dr on Monday who knows maybe they will have so good ideas so this cycle won't be wasted. I swear what we done go through to have a baby.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

Well this cycle won't be wasted I get to start injections on Wed :)yeah me
I'm a little nervous but I know once I get past the first one I'll be fine. I just so happy this cycle doesn't get wasted and prolonged

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

Well tonight I had my 1st injection it went alot better that I thought it would. It took a few minutes to get past putting in the needle but I did it and I didn't even feel it and then it was over. 1 down 4 to go. grow follies grow

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

I think I'm having a pretty bad week it all started last Saturday when DH slipped and fell on the ice and hit his head then DS getting sick. While caring for them my sister called to say they had an u/s and her baby is not well she has something wrong with her intestines and possibly her heart but for sure she will have to have surgery on her intestines. Then came Friday my MIL call to tell us that my SIL who is 11 weeks preggo had her first Dr appointment in Hong Kong and they did an u/s and no heartbeat when they measured the baby it was only about 8-9 weeks in size so today they did a d&c. This week SUCKED!! The thing about these pregnancies is that after all of my jealously and the guilt for not being happy for them. Now I feel terrible for feeling like that, that I couldn't be happy for them and now I feel so bad for them. I would not wish this kind of heartache on my worst enemy. The only redeeming thing is that I got AF so I called my Dr and they put me on the BC patch for a week then I can start a new cycle with femera.

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

So I'm an idiot I didn't think about the fact that the day after you put on a patch you aren't fully protected. So after I went to the Dr and he said I still had 6 follies I started to think that maybe we should have kept using protection but we didn't so here we are. I also didn't think about the possibilty of being pregnant so I just kept changing my patch now I am starting to wonder if I am preggo because for the past week I have had very full and tender breast and feeling nausea off and on but every test I take is neg. So i don't know should I call my Dr or just wait it out to see if AF comes or I get a pos. I'm supposed to go to the Dr next week anyway after AF to see how my ovaries look any cysts or what not before we start femera next cycle. I guess patience is a virtue and I should use it and stop obsessing about it all. If I am I am, If I'm not I'm not. that's just the way it is.:confused:

sunni-g's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 13

So I'm not preggo but thats ok now we can start our femara cycle and that is going ok so far I realized that it's been 5 months since we've had a cycle we could use so I'm really hoping I don't get over stimulated again and we can at least have a chance. I f we get 2-4 follicles we can go ahead with the IUI and hopefully that will be all we need to get preggo. This TTC road has been too long I really didn't think that it would take this long to get #2 underway it's been almost a full year since we started trying. I know the first time it took us 4 1/2 years but we were not aggressive as we have been this time so I didn't think this time it would take this long. I'm just so impatient I can't even stand myself.

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