Making Carter a Big Brother

80 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
Making Carter a Big Brother

I never really thought I'd do one of these things. I'm not really much of a writer, but I really need a place to vent.

Hi, my name is Lisa. That's a good start, don't ya think??

Here goes...

I've been married to my wonderful, amazing, loving husband Steve for almost 8 years now. We are college sweethearts. We are both 33 and the proud parents of Carter. Carter will be 2 this Thursday. Holy Cow!!! My little man is growing up!!

It took us 18 months to get pregnant with Carter. We went to an RE and had all the normal tests. They couldn't find anything wrong with us. Unexplained infertility is so damn frustrating!! Anyway, we were all ready to try a few IUIs. As luck would have it, we got pregnant naturally the same cycle as the HSG. Carter is definitely our little miracle.

As soon as I had Carter, I knew that I wanted to get started right away on TTC number 2. Let's face it, I'm not getting any younger, and Carter really needs a sibling.

At my 6 weeks post partum appointment, the doc gave me a script for birthcontrol. I'll let you guess, do you think I filled the presciption??

We tried naturally for about 6 months before I made another appointment with my RE. I wasn't wasting anymore time. We went through all the preliminary testing again and started with IUIs...

and did IUI after IUI after IUI. This summer was all one big blur of doctor appointments, shots, and disappointments. After all was said and done we did 4 IUIs, 1 with clomid and 3 with Gonal-F. We finally decided that 4 was enough and it was time to move on to bigger things... IVF. My credit cards can't handle much more of this- stupid ahole insurance companies that think it is AOK to pay for testing to figure out why you can't get pregnant, but OH NO, they can't pay for treatment!!! Sorry, that was just a little crazy rant that could potentially go on and on, YKWIM?

Anyway, we decided we would be better off taking out a loan to try an IVF cycle. The success rate is higher and we are still on the young side. It's nice to have a few checks on the plus side, am I right??

So where am I today??? Lets see, CD 24 of a natural "rest" cycle. We used OPKs this cycle, but no charting. I am just burned out from temping. I still have a glimmer of hope that we accomplished operation "big brother Carter" this month. Only time will tell, and man will this be one short TTC journal Lol

I need to have one more test next month, if AF shows her face. It is called a mock embryo transfer. They check out the uterus before the real deal so they know ahead of time exactly where to put the little guys during the transfer. Then I have to wait out the rest of next cycle. They won't let me get started with the stim drugs the same cycle as the mock. I'm not sure why, but I guess if that is the way they want it, I'll just have to be patient. October is a good month to get pregnant, isn't it??

Here is a quote I found in a fortune cookie just before I found out I was pregnant with Carter: "Patience is the best remedy for every trouble." Isn't that great? I still have that little piece of paper.

So for now, we wait...

This was fun, I think I'll do it again Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today is Carter's 2 year pediatrician appointment. Wow, it is bittersweet. He is growing up so fast. I miss the tiny baby he used to be, but I also love the little boy he is becoming.

This week is going to be hard. I was really hoping to be pregnant by his 2nd birthday.

We went to the park yesterday. I don't really mind seeing pregnant women. What really gets me is when I see them with another child about Carter's age. I just want to be pregnant again.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think tomorrow is going to be CD1. I starting spotting today... Sad
I was hoping this month would do it. Steve is leaving for Ohio in 2 weeks, so that eliminates any chance of getting a natural BFP next month. I guess all systems are go for IVF. I'm excited about the IVF since it gives me hope, but really sad that things had to come to this.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today is definitely CD1. I am not as disappointed this cycle as I have been previously. I think it is because we did not do an IUI this month, so I didn't get my hope up too high. I think I am also excited because we are one step closer to IVF.

I was able to call and schedule my mock for next Tuesday.

Tomorrow is Carter's 2nd birthday- sniff sniff

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think I'm going to do acupuncture along with the IVF. I spoke with a woman on the phone about it tonight and it really sounds neat. It is suposed to increase bloodflow, balance hormones, relax you, and improve your response to the stims. I guess it can't hurt. It almost sounds like pampering, something I could really use about now, so I think the IVF is a great excuse to try it Biggrin

Carter had a great B-Day today. My man is officially 2. He LOVED his barney doll. He took it to bed tonight and didn't even request bear-bear. I think bear-bear has been demoted. I had his pictures taken today. He really didn't want to get behind the camera until we bribed him with a toy truck.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today I had my mock embryo transfer. It went really well. My uterus looks great!!! It only took about 5 minutes. I think I waited in the waiting room longer than the procedure. It was very simiar to an IUI, except they put saline into your uterus and then look at it with the ultrasound. They want to look for fibroids or any other abnormalities. I also got the call that I can go ahead and pick up my medication from the pharmacy. I am so excited to get started!!!

I am also bummed. Steve is leaving for Ohio tomorrow Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Let us call this one "Big Bag O Drugs"

That is what I picked up today at the pharmacy. I'm a little freaked out because of the IM injetions. Somehow I managed to make it through 4 IUIs with injectibles, and I only had to do subQ. I'm nervous because Steve won't be here to help. Today I picked up progestone in oil, HCG trigger, and azithromycin for before the retrieval. I still need to pick up some baby aspirin. I will get the follistim my first day of stimulation at the clinic because I am participating in a research study. Just call me "Lisa the Lab Rat." Actually being able to participate in this study is an amazing opportunity. The only difference between the study group and the control group is whether you get a long acting FSH or the normal FSH for the first 7 days. After that, the protocol is identical. I was super excited to only pay $28 dollars for meds. The stims are included as part of the study. The global fee for the study is $4000. Much cheaper than a normal IVF cycle. We are taking out a loan for this. We are not planning on doing it again, so I really hope it works. Fingers crossed!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I got my protocol!! It may be off a day or two, it depends on when I get AF.

10/12 Start AF
10/13 Office visit for b/w, u/s, exam, vitals, weight
10/13 Stimulation Day 1
10/17 Stim Day 5- Office visit b/w, u/s and begin Ganirelix
10/20 Stim Day 8- Office visit b/w, u/s
10/21 Stim Day 9 (if needed) b/w and u/s
10/24 Egg Retrieval
We want to go for a Day 5 transfer, we will have to wait and see what happens.
Pregnancy Test 14 days from transfer

I took the week of October 23 off from work and I am not working mornings on the 18 and the 20. I hope that will help make things a little easier. It is going to be a challenge finding someone to watch Carter if my babysitter is unavailable.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today I am about mid cycle, probably several days before O'ing. It is so weird with Steve away. At this point we would be planning our BD sessions to optimize our chances for a natural conception. We've been at it for over a year now. Wow, time sure flies when you are having fun. Theoretically I should be less stressed this month since it will be impossible for me to end up with a BFP Biggrin

I sometimes get bummed out when I think about all my friends who have recently had babies. We are still TTC, and in the same timeframe they managed to get pregnant and actually have the babies. I should have a baby that is several months old by now. GRRR

I got a little stressed out tonight talking to Steve on the phone. His parents are going to come help me after the retrieval, since Steve will need to leave town afterwards to go back to work. He keeps asking for a date to give them. I keep trying to explain that I won't know exactly until I get AF. I may not need them prior to the retrieval if I can arrange for a babysitter for Carter when I need to go to my monitoring appointments. I also need to arrange babysitting for my acupuncture appointments. I also need to juggle work. Calgon- take me away!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think I'm a little down today. I've been seeing pregnant people around all day. It makes me sad. I miss Steve too. He'll be back Friday night Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had my first acupucture appointment yesterday. It was really cool, and I loved it!! The woman specializes in infertility, and has been practicing for about 8 years. She spent about 45 minutes just talking to me- taking my history and getting to know me. The treatment lasted for about an hour. She put needles everywhere- my feet, legs, hands, arms, belly and a few on my face to drain my sinuses (for my allergies). She also burned an herb on top of the needles, that is called moxibustion. It was so relaxing!! My arms and legs felt like they were made of lead. I almost fell asleep. It reminded me of shivasana at the end of a Yoga session. She knew that I am midcycle now and that Steve is coming home tonight, so I think she did a few points to help this "natural" cycle along. Wouldn't that be crazy if I got pregnant naturally this month with Steve only being home for one weekend?? What a hoot! I go back next week for another treatment. I felt very pampered, that can't be a bad thing while going through IVF, right? With all the injections, bood draws, and ultrasounds in the hoo hoo- pampering can't be a bad thing, plus if it helps make the IVF process work, I am all for it Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

We had a great weekend!! I was really sad when Steve had to leave this moring. I know Carter was upset too. We had a lot of "fun" IYKWIM. Maybe we made a baby the old fashioned way Biggrin I still had some fertile quality CM, so maybe we will get lucky this time around. Anyhoo, getting closer to starting stims!! I can't wait to get this show on the road!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I've been thinking a lot about why I just can't tell people we are TTC or that we are attempting IVF. The first reason is because of the extra added stress you get with everyone asking "so did it work, are you pregnant yet?" The second reason is because I am a private person. I just don't go around blabbing my business to people. I know I should confide in my friends, but I just can't do it. I think the main reason for this is because they all got pregnant at the drop of a hat. One friend has a boy that is a little older than Carter. She starting trying for number 2, got pregnant, had a m/c, got pregnant again, and now has a little baby girl. This has all been in the same time frame that we have been trying for number 2. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for her, but I can't talk to her about our infertility because I don't think she could ever really understand what I am going through. Another friend told me I was crazy for not using birthcontrol after we had Carter. This threw me for a loop because she knew we had trouble conceiving him. Another reason is I can't stand all the well meaning advice, like "have you tried this, have you tried that?" I feel like saying, "no, I just enjoy shelling out thousands of dollars to a fertility center, and all the hoo hoo ultrasounds and blood draws are extra added bonuses!" Another reason I keep things to myself is that I don't really like to burden people with my problems, especially if they can't relate. I won't tell people at work because it just doesn't feel right. I like my co-workers, but again, they just wouldn't understand. My family and Steve's family know. This has been helpful because they are going to help take care of Carter when I am doing the IVF. Steve's sister has also been a great help. She has been through so many IVF treatments, I think about 7 attempts. She has twins and a singleton now Biggrin I guess when it comes down to it, I get somewhat embarassed that we can't make a flipping baby on our own. I also don't want to jinx the process. I am being a little superstitious here, but what can ya do?

On a good note, I have more acupuncture on Thursday Biggrin

vwsista's picture
Joined: 01/28/06
Posts: 28

Don't know if it's ok for me to post here but I just stumbled upon your journal, Lisa.

I have my fingers, toes and whatever else I can cross, crossed. I'm sorry you are having to go through this... Your last post really says it all. It would be hard to be a private person and feel like maybe you were holding back from people because they won't understand. I think I can speak for the rest of the Sept. Stars mom's when i say that we are all behind you and are wishing you, Steve and Carter the very best!

C'mon baby!! :bighug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thanks Grechen, you are so sweet!! You guys are all so sweet. It is great to know I have you guys behind me Biggrin You are all really good friends.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had another acupuncture appointment on Thursday. Again, it was HEAVEN. It really relaxes me. This time I was on my stomach for most of the session. She put needles in my head, neck, back, sacral area, hands, calves, and feet. She also hooked up some electric stim to the needles in the sacral region. This was to promote bloodflow to the pelvic region. She also did a few points with me on my back. She wants me to go back around CD3-4 and then a few days after that.

I talked to a friend of mine tonight about the IVF. It was actually really nice to talk to someone about it. I'm glad I told her, and she was really supportive. She was also really interested in the procedure. I am going to miss her when we move. She is one of my closest girlfriends here. We used to work together. She has 2 adorable little boys, an almost 4 year old and an almost 2 year old. Carter LOVES playing with them. I wish she lived a little closer, it took me about 50 minutes to get to her house tonight because of the traffic. I also trust her that she will be discreet. It really feels good to have friends. I just need to let go and rely on others a little more. I am so used to taking care of other people. That is what I do, professionally and personally. I help people, that is why I am a physical therapist. I am not used to being on the receiving end of treatment, especially the acupucture. I almost feel like I should be running the session. It is taking some getting used to. I have already referred some of my patients to my acupuncture clinic Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I think AF is getting closer!!! I can't wait for it to start so I can start the stims!!! I have never been so excited for AF to arrive. Hopefully this will be the last AF for quite a while!!!

I did POAS just for the heck of it, it was a BFN- not really surprising considering I saw Steve for 1 weekend this month Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

AF is just around the corner, but she has to hold off until full flow on Saturday. If she comes on Friday before 5:00pm, we can't go forward with this cycle- It has to do with scheduling because I am part of a drug study. If we can't go forward with this cycle, then we may not be able to do IVF at this point at all because of our impending move. I feel fairly confident that AF will hold off because I am not really cramping yet.
Here is the new tentative schedule:

10/15 first screening visit
10/16 Stim day 1, b/w and u/s
10/20 Stim day 5, Office visit- b/w and u/s
10/23 Stim day 8, Office vist- b/w and u/s
10/25-10/27 ER one one of these days
ET hopefully for day 5 blasts
Blood pregnancy test 2 weeks after transfer

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I start stims on Monday, I start stims on Monday, I start stims on Monday!!!! Can you tell, I am excited!!!!!

I have my screening visit on Sunday morning. I was unable to find a babysitter for Carter, so I asked if it was OK to bring him, and they were totally fine with it. That was such a relief, the last thing I need is more stress about finding a babysitter.

Steve is coming home next weekend!!!! WOO HOO!!! His birthday is next Sunday. He is going to take Carter back to Ohio for the week. He really misses him. I am really going to miss the little guy too. Can someone please just buy this house already so we can all live in the same state!?? Steve will then breeze into town for the ER, and then his parents are going to come and help me out for a few days.

Things are finally going!!! YAY

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am completely devastated. I had my study screening appointment this morning. As you may recall, I was going to be a participant in a drug study. They took blood and urine, checked my vitals, and scanned for follicles. Everything looked perfect for me to start the stims tomorrow. I got the call this afternoon that my FSH was a little higher than the cutoff for this drug study, so now I can't be a participant. That means that I can't start stims tomorrow, and we need to talk with the doctor again to figure out our options. That also means that I am not going to get the discount in price since I'm not going to be in this study. That means we can't move forward with the IVF until we sell this house. That means that we will probably have to start all over again at another clinic after I move. It is going to take months to get started again. I am so upset right now. This feels just as bad as getting a BFN. I was so excited to possibly be pregnant by the end of the year. I just don't understand, my FSH levels in April were just fine. WTH happened?? Now I am freaked out that my eggs are getting old. I am only 33!!!! Tomorrow I am going to talk to my nurse, arrange to get my medical records, and call a clinic in my new town. I guess that is all I can do at this point. I already took a week off of work, so now Carter and I are going to spend that week in Ohio with Steve. I am so frustrated. I was so excited to be moving in the right direction.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm really irritated with my clinic. My nurse called today basically to ask if we have made a decision about what we are going to do now since my elevated FSH level took me out of the study! WTH, we haven't even discussed our options with our doc! How are we suposed to make a decision, when I'm not sure what we are deciding on? I just told her that I need my records because I am moving out of the state. I feel like they have basically jerked me around for the past several months. They knew we were ready to move forward with the IVF back in August. We had to wait a month before getting enrolled in the study. Then we had to wait another month because they didn't tell me I needed a mock embryo transfer until it was too late in that cycle to do it. I told them that we wanted to get moving ASAP because we are leaving the state, and I didn't want to have to go somewhere else. I guess that didn't seem to register with them. :banghead:

On a good note, I was able to make an appointment with a new clinic for next week while I am visiting my future home state Biggrin The women I talked to said that they shouldn't have to repeat all the tests since they are recent.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

WE SOLD OUR HOUSE!!!!! It is under contract now, so that means that I can seriously look for a house next week while I'm in Ohio!! I am so excited!!! This means that I will be moving at the end of November! I am so happy. What a rollercoaster week- I was so upset when I found out that we couldn't do the IVF, and now I am so happy about our house!! This also means that we will have some extra money to put towards the IVF, so we shouldn't have to take out a loan this time! WOOHOO It is upsetting how expensive this whole process is and a CRIME that insurances won't pay for squat Sad

I also have an appointment with my new doctor at my new clinic. I can't wait to hear his opinion and get this IVF stuff underway again.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

We had our appointment today with our new doc! It went really really well. Of course he didn't get any of my records from my old clinic, so I have to follow up on that when I get back to Maryland... GRRR

Anyway, he spent about an hour talking to us. He thinks we should be able to get started right away since I have already had all the tests. This should put us around the end of December or early January for a retrieval.
He also made me feel a lot better about getting rejected from the drug study (something my clinic did not even attempt to do). He said that the parameters are so small and picky, that any little deviation will get a subject rejected. He also gave us some reasons why I may not be getting pregnant on my own. He thinks it may be an "egg pick up" issue. Meaning that everything works correctly except that my eggs don't make it to the tubes for fertilization. This may be why I got pregnant with Carter the same cycle as the HSG, the test may have irritated things just enough to work correctly. This is another thing my other doctor never bothered to address. I like my old doctor, but I like him less after comparing him to my new doctor. The only thing I have to do now is get my hands on my records, and be patient Biggrin

More good news... We have a contract on a new house!!! I am so excited about it. The house is just amazing, and we will be 2 minutes from Steve's sister. This means that Carter and his 3 year old cousin will be going to the same school!!! I am so excited to be living closer to family. We have been living so far away from everyone for 8 years... This move is the best thing for us. Things are once again falling into place.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Nothing too exciting on the TTC front, it is kind of hard to conceive when Steve is in another state! Biggrin I was in Ohio for O week, so maybe we got lucky, I am nearing the end of the 2ww so only time will tell. I have one more preg. test, but I don't really want to waste it.

Things are moving fast with the move. My last day of work is the 17th, the movers are packing the house on the 20th, and they are loading the truck on the 21st. I head to Syracuse for Thanksgiving, then back to Maryland on Friday. We settle on the 28th, I head back to Ohio after that, we settle on the new place the 30th, and our stuff is delivered to the new house on Dec. 1st. Whew... I still have a lot of stuff to take care of here. The guys are coming to clean the chimney and fix some mortar Thursday. The termite inspection is also Thursday. Next week the Salvation Army is coming to pick up a few things that we are not moving. I am just so excited to be in our new house, together again as a family Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

AF has reared her ugly head Sad I am bummed. I had a little glimmer of hope since I saw Dh the week I O'd, but I guess it just wasn't enough. Why is this so hard??? People are really starting to bug me about having another baby. Of course they don't know that I am dealing with infertility, but it really hurts to try to answer that question without freaking out. I am starting to get upset when I go to mommy and toddler activities with Carter because it feels like ALL the other moms are either pregnant again or have newborns. I can't handle listening to my friends gripe about how hard it is to have more than one kid. I wish they knew how lucky they are. I know that I am so incredibly blessed to have one healthy child. I pains me deeply to know that there are a lot of people who are not as lucky as I am. I don't want to be greedy, but I can't help longing for another one. I am trying so hard to cherish Carter's childhood because I feel it slipping away. 2 years has flown by in a heartbeat. I can't believe he is starting to speak in sentences!!

I guess it is appropriate to start making my list of things I am grateful for, just in time for Thanksgiving: not in order of importance

1. Carter- the best son ever
2. Steve- the best husband ever
3. Our move to Ohio is almost complete
4. We are all healthy
5. The rest of the family is pretty darn cool too
6. Financial security
7. Good friends

I should look at this list when I need to put things in perspective. OK, I'll stop whining for today.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I spoke with the nurse at the new RE's office. She is sooooo nice!!! I wanted to check about going on the BCPs, since today is CD2. I have to wait until next cycle to start BCP because the RE's lab will be closed for a few weeks in December for the holidays, so we have to wait until Jan. I just can't wait to get started!! I had all the screening tests done at my old clinic in Maryland, so I was able to fax/mail all the results to the new office in Ohio. The only thing I need to get is a blood draw for HIV 2. Apparently my old clinic only did HIV 1- not sure what the difference is, but oh well. Steve has to get all his infectious disease bloodwork done again because there is no record of it in the records from the old clinic. He also has to go in and give a sample to freeze for backup- just in case he can't "produce" on the day of the retrieval Biggrin That would suck to go through all the prep-work, and then find out that Steve couldn't do that one little thing Lol

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

All I have to say today is that I am getting really tired of hearing about other people that are pregnant Sad

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, so much has happened since my last post. Steve's dad passed away on November 27. It was quite a blow to everyone and quite unexpected. He was only 66. He thought he had the flu. His fever shot up to 105 so they called an ambulance and he was put in the ICU. They found some fluid around his liver and also thought he had diverticulitis. He developed sepsis and his kidneys and heart both failed. I was stuck in Maryland that night since I had to close on the house the next day. I drove to Ohio right after I finished. We stayed at Steve's mother's house that week. We ended up closing on our new house the same day as the calling hours. I still can't believe that he is gone. I am so sad that Carter will never know his "G-pa." I am so happy that we are now living closer to family, it has made everything easier.

We are slowly getting settled in the new house. I just got the internet hooked up today Biggrin

We finished all the preliminary stuff at the new clinic and I started my estrace today!! I get scanned on the 21st and start provera on Jan. 1. We are getting closer to making another baby.

I really need to get to bed, it is about 1:00 am.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Nothing too exciting on the TTC front. We are slowly getting settled in the new house. I have met a lot of new people. Everyone is really nice. I am excited that we are having Christmas here this year. This is the first time in a really long time that we haven't had to travel over the holidays. What a great feeling. We will wake up in our own beds Christmas morning, open presents, and then wait for everone to arrive. I am giddy with anticipation. I feel like a little kid again Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had my appointment today. They measured my uterus so they know what to expect during the transfer. It was in the normal range Biggrin
I got my new calendar, I am so excited to get going again.

12/27 start provera, continue with estrace
1/3 stop provera and estrace
1/9 baseline u/s and b/w
1/11 start microdose lupron
1/13 start bravelle and menopur
1/18 u/s and b/w
possible retrieval 1/24-1/27
possible transfer 1/28-???

I can't believe all the shots I am going to be doing, 2 times a day for stims and lupron. I start with 2 vials each of bravelle and menopur. That is way more than anything I took for the IUIs. The nurse told me to expect to get really bloated since the follicles are going to be pumped up to the size of grapefruits :shock: I also can't jump around. I guess my jogging career is over for now Lol I also have to be on bedrest for 2 days after the transfer and that includes no lifting. I guess Carter is going to have to stay at his cousin's house. This is so exciting!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

We had a lot of good friends from college over for New Years. It was really nice to get caught up again. It made me a little sad because all my friends now have 2 or 3 kids. I should have 2 by now. I was getting a little bit tired of hearing about all the people who are pregnant or just had a baby. I just can't wait for my turn again.

I am almost done with the estrace and provera. I am not really having any side effects. I feel really fat and bloated, but I think that is from eating like crazy during the holidays Biggrin

Getting closer to my baseline u/s!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I am so excited!! I got a call from the RE's office today and they want me to come in tomorrow for my baseline u/s and b/w instead of next week!! WOO HOO!! That means I will start microdose lupron on Thursday and stims on Saturday!! They decided that they didn't want me to go so long between the provera and lupron because then I may start growing a follicle on my own. I am so happy about not waiting another week to get going. I hope the baseline looks good tomorow, wish me luck Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I did my first lupron microdose injectin this morning. It was a piece of cake!! The needle is quite small. I got the go ahead yesterday afternoon. I had my baseline u/s and b/w yesterday. The doc that did the u/s was kind of a B#$%! She said "what are you doing here today?" She was looking at the wrong dates and obviously didn't bother to read much of my chart. I had to tell her that my doc wanted to start earlier because he didn't want a huge gap between the provera and lupron. That kind of thing makes me wonder, but I will put it out of my mind for now and think positively. Labcorp also couldn't find my E2 results, so the nurse had to get on their back. I was fuming!! E2 was 250, a little higher than they want, but the doc thinks it is OK since I was taking the estrace. For now I am doing lupron shots every 12 hours! Stims on Saturday!!! WOOHOO

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Day 2 on stims.

I'm not having too many side effects yet. I am excited for my next u/s this thursday to see how my follicles are cooking. My tummy is starting to look like a pin cushion Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I had my u/s and b/w on Thursday. That was stim day 6. He saw about 4 or 5 follicles on each side that were about 10-12 in size. He wanted to see a few more, but he also said he was greedy. The good thing is that they were all about the same size. My E2 came back at 171 which is a good number. I was told to stay on the same dosage of meds.

I started to spot on Thursday evening and woke up on Friday morning with what looked like my period. Of course I freaked out and called the doctor's office. The nurse called me back and said the doc has no idea why I am bleeding since I have follicles, but to keep up with the meds, and then we will see on Monday at my next appointment. I am getting really freaked out because I am still bleeding like I have a period. I have no idea what is going on, but I'm getting concerned that they will decide to cancel this cycle because I'm not going to have a thick enough lining. Why can't I just have a normal, routine IVF cycle??? Maybe they can just retrieve the eggs and then freeze all the embryos if my lining sucks. I can't imagine just wasting this entire cycle. We have spent so much on the meds!! I am just so upset right now. I'm not really looking forward to Monday. By then, my lining will be gone.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today I am feeling a little more positive because the bleeding stopped. I am hoping that I didn't bleed enough for too long to change anything. I guess I will find out tomorrow how things are looking.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Stim Day 10

I had my b/w and u/s today. My lining looked GREAT!!!! I was so relieved. It was actually BEAUTIFUL- trilaminar I believe- 3 gorgeous layers just waiting for my little embryos to make themselves home in. I was so nervous. I can't believe what a roller coaster ride this has been. I think I may need need some sort of mood stabilizer if this keeps up Biggrin

I have about 6 follies on the right and 3 on the left. I think my right ovary is the workhorse. The left one always seems so wimpy. All the follicles are about the same size, I believe 12-14 mm (I can't remember exactly because I was still basking in the glow of a great lining).

They are calling back later with my E2.

The doc is guessing my retieval will most likely be Saturday. WOOHOO

I have to go back either Wednesday or Thursday for more monitoring.

The nurse is so friendly. She gave me some more needles and a few more vials of menopur and bravelle since I will most likely run out if we go until Wednesday. I have enough lupron to last. I will definately donate my extra meds to the clinic if I have any left. Kind of like Pay if Forward...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I just got the call, E2 was 489. They want me back in on Wednesday, so I may trigger on Wednesday night with retrieval on Friday!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Stim day 12

Had another scan and b/w this morning. All the follicles are looking good and growing appropriately. It looks like the retrieval will be on Friday. I'll know for sure when I get the call with my E2 resutls this afternoon. I am so excited and nervous at the same time. I wonder how many eggs they are going to get??? I don't really care if it is a huge number as long as they are good quality. Wink

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

My retrieval is officially set for Saturday morning at 9:30 am. Biggrin My E2 yesterday was 976, so I think the doc thought another day of cooking wouldn't hurt Biggrin I did my last stim injection this morning. I do my last luporn shot tonight plus two syringes of Ovidral at EXACTLY 9:30 pm. Tomorrow I start the minocycline antibiotic. I also get to take a Xanax at 7:30 on Saturday morning to help me relax. My center doesn't use general anasthesia for retrievals, they just give you enough stuff to make you LOOPY. We have to be at the center at 8:30 so Steve can give his "sample." The nurse asked me if I need to be present to help him collect his sample Lol I told her no, he can manage all on his own. I am so excited. Now just keep your fingers crossed for lots of eggies!!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

WARNING may have TMI

We had the egg retrieval yesterday. We arrived at the clinic at 8:30 to sign in and present our IDs. I went over to the other office while Steve gave his sample. When he got done, they took us back to the room and gave me the shot of dilaudid, the narcotic painkiller. It was an IM injection, so the nurse was able to review the procedure with Steve to perpare him for giving me the progesterone injections. I got halfway undressed and got up on the table. I think we were alone for about 20 minutes in order to allow the drug to take effect. It made me feel funny and kind of weird. Eventually the doc and nurse came back to set stuff up. He cleaned my cervix and gave me a few local numbing injections. I really didn't feel anything but some discomfort, like when you are getting a pap. He got the ultrasound hooked up and then started the actual retrieval. Steve was able to stay in the room and watch everything. The doc took a very large needle, (from what Steve said, I didn't look) and started injecting it into the follicles to draw off the fluid and egg. It was cool to see the follicles shrivel up on the ultrasound. It wasn't really painful, I just felt pressure when he stabbed the needle into each follicle. As he was getting the liquid, he was handing the vials through a little door in wall to the embyologist in the other room. That person was the one who was finding the eggs in the fluid. We got 7 eggs all together. Afterwards the nurse gave me some water and let me rest. My mouth was extremely dry. They eventually helped me sit up and get dressed. She gave me a sanitary pad, but I started to bleed right through it and my underwear the second I stood up. I went into the bathroom and passed a few huge clots. I think the nurse got a little freaked out because she had me get back on the table and called the doc back into the room. He checked everything and said I looked OK, it is normal to bleed and pass a few clots from the punctures in the vaginal wall. I went back into the bathroom to clean up a little more. The nurse gave me a baggie for my underwear :oops: and a chux pad for my pants. Luckly I just had to walk a short distance to the car and the trip home was about 20 minutes. I went straight to bed when I got home (after I changed my clothes). I was feeling very tired and nauseous, and I slept most of the day. I was able to eat a little bit for dinner and I felt better afterwards.

Today I am feeling OK, just sore. I am still spotting a little, but that is normal. The lab called. They said of the 7 eggs, 6 were good and 4 fertilized. We are all set to transfer on Tuesday. I hope my little guys keep on growing Biggrin Now we have to decide how many to transfer...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

As of this morning we still have 4 embryos, they should be between 2 and 4 cells at this stage. They grade them 1-5, 1 being the best.

1 that is 4 cell, grade 2
1 that is 3 cell, grade 2
1 that is 2 cell, grade 2
1 that is 2 cell, grade 1

We are transferring tomorrow (not sure how many yet)- I just can't wait to have them back "home" so 1 or 2 can set up shop for about nine months!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well we did it. Yesterday we transferred 3 little embies

1 6 cell grade 2
1 6 cell grade 2
1 4 cell grade 2

We left out one that was still only 2 cells, it probably stopped developing. Who knows, maybe it will surprise us and it will be able to be frozen.

The transfer was so anticlimatic, like a pap smear. They set the timer and I laid there for 15 minutes afterwards. I am trying really hard to be on bed rest, but it is not easy with Carter around. My MIL is here to help, but it is hard for me to just stay on the couch all day, I feel guilty. Now I hope they are making themselves at home Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Today I had my progesterone checked, it was 97.4. The nurse said that is a good number and to keep up with the same dosage of progesterone in oil injections.

I had a tiny bit of spotting yesterday that I am really really really hoping was implantation spotting Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

This 2WW is really kicking my butt. I am thinking about being pregnant constantly. I've been surfing the internet for anything about people that have had IVF and then have gotten pg- how many embryos did they transfer, day 3 or 5, what was their protocol, did they have bedrest, did they eat pineapple?? Yes, I am eating pineapple Biggrin I read that it helps implantation, so what the heck, I like it, so why not eat it. Steve hasn't called me on it yet, so I'll just keep that detail to myself. My Beta is so far away, I'm in agony!!! Well, here are my symptoms for what they are worth (most of them I think should be chalked up to the PIO injections- but maybe in a little more than a week we can call them early pregnancy symtoms)

1. Enormous and very sore BBs
2. Big bloated tummy- My jeans are so snug, I have to open them up when I sit on the couch
3. Voracious appetite
4. Constipation- I bought some prunes for this one- Carter likes them too, but I have to cut him off or we will have a very bad diaper situation

If I'm not pregnant, I'm surely on my way to obesity Biggrin

I have a job interview next week too Biggrin I really need to investigate some daycares for Carter. I only work a few days a week, so it shouldn't be too bad. Wouldn't they love me if I start working and then tell them I am pregnant- Oh well Biggrin What would really suck is if it doesn't work this time, the next time I will have to go through the IVF while working too. Let's hope we don't have to go there.

I decided to not POAS ahead of time. I did that for all 4 IUIs, all BFN. This time I thought I would just wait, but I am going to need some restraint because I really really really want to know!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm still in the 2WW and still going crazy. I am trying to keep busy. If I have time on my hands, I start to obsess. I am not trying to read too much into symptoms because I think that is driving me crazy too. Here they are, for what it is worth: 1. sore BBs 2. GAS :oops: 3. fatique
4. I have this feeling of pressure in my belly- it is probably nerves Biggrin Monday is so far away!!!

I had a job interview yesterday. It went well. I have to go back to meet the staff. The director mentioned something about working on Saturdays, but I'm not too keen on that idea. I also toured a daycare for Carter. It is a really great situation because the wife of my husband's good friend from highschool is the director, so I don't really need to worry.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I feel like this 2WW has gone from bad to worse. I am sitting here in tears because I feel like AF is approaching. Steve asked me if I wanted to test early this weekend. I really don't want to. I will just scream if I see another BFN. I know that he wants to be with me when I get the news on Monday, but he will be at work. It will probably be better that he is not home because if it is bad news, I am just going to want to crawl in a hole and cry.

I must look pretty silly right now, I had a dentist appointment earlier today and half my face is numb right now from the novacane. Crying with a half numb face... really kind of pathetic.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm still feeling down and trying to prepare for a BFN. I really have no idea how I can be pregnant at this point. The spotting seems to be increasing and I feel a little crampy. I think the PIO is just delaying the inevitable. I'm trying really hard to keep it together. We have good friends coming over today, and I really don't want to fall apart.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Still waiting for the phone call. I guess at this point, no news is good news. I have the urge to just chicken out and not answer the phone and let voice mail pick up. I know the news is not good...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I got the call, it didn't work. I'm in limbo land now. They want me to make a follow up appointment with the doc next month. I guess that is all I have to say for now.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm still bummed out about the BFN. At least I'm not tearing up everytime I think about it, but I'm still sad. AF is really heavy- ICK. It sucked having to buy more AF supplies. I think I'm going to break out the OPKs this month, what the heck, we may as well try naturally this month since we can't really do anything else.

Pages