Mary's (FLSunshineMom) TTC Journal

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Mary's (FLSunshineMom) TTC Journal

I finally decided to start a ttc journal. We've been ttc#2 for almost a year now, and it has been quite the journey.

I am just entering the 2ww of this cycle. I'm not super hopeful, as I don't know how good our BD timing was. I wasn't able to test with an OPK on the very day I believe I would have gotten a +OPK, so it's been a real guessing game. My cervix and all other signs point to O'ing either yesterday or today. I would say I'm 100% sure I O'd yesterday, but this morning's temp only went up a little. Not enough to convince me actual O occurred yesterday.

My boobs starting hurting yesterday, and has continued today. It's normal for them to be a little sore around O, but this time they seem to be more sore than usual. As for O pains, I've had them a lot this time around, so I can't go by that to pinpoint O. I even had some this afternoon.

Something odd this cycle is that I've had a lot of spotting. It finally stopped as of yesterday. Not sure what it means, if anything.

Also today my gums bled when I brushed my teeth. Probably doesn't mean a thing, but it's interesting to note. I wonder if that can sometimes be a sign of ovulating. I woke up nauseated yesterday and today, too, but only first thing. After I ate it went away for the rest of the day (both days). I do know that nausea can happen for some around ovulation time.

Another thing of interest to note: This evening we BD and I was "tender" down there. Not a normal thing for me.

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Well... I only "thought" I was entering the 2ww on the 24th. Turns out, I got a +OPK yesterday, so I'm probably O'ing today. This is the latest I've ever O'd, and I'm not sure why it got delayed this cycle. Maybe I've been overly worried about dh, as he had a bad allergic reaction that turned out to be related to stress.

Yesterday evening we were able to BD, so at least I have some hope for this cycle. My CM was good at that time (EWCM) and has continued to be good into today (started out as EWCM, lots of it, and most recently was Watery). Something that's a little odd to me is that my temp took a big dip yesterday, but yesterday is when I got the +OPK, which would normally mean I am O'ing today, and my temp went up today instead of down. But... it's not written in stone anywhere that you have to have a temp dip on the day of O (it's just that I usually do have one then, not the day before). Besides, my temp only went back up to where it was the day before the dip, and it's still more like a pre-O temp for me I think.

Early this morning while I was waking up, I had this strange pain really low in my abdomen. At first I thought, could this be O pain? But the pain was lower down and more towards the middle, more like where my bladder is, and I could feel the pain in the back, too. So i have no idea what that was. It lasted for maybe 10-15 seconds, then was gone again. I think I've had some twinges in that same area throughout the day, but not anything worth noting really.

However, this afternoon, somewhere around 1:45pm, I had what I "think" maybe have been O pain, but it was only for a 4 or 5 seconds and then was gone again. Normally O pain lasts longer than that for me. So, who knows?

I have also been absolutely ravenous with hunger today. I wonder if your body demands more when you're O'ing? Oh, and my boobs continued to be sore up until yesterday, when they weren't, and now today they're starting to feel tender again.

I should be in the 2ww as of tomorrow. We'll see if my temp goes higher.

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Also wanted to mention, I checked my cervix today and wow, I only thought I knew what high, soft, open was. Now I KNOW what it is. That was definitely, without a doubt, 100% HIGH, SOFT, and OPEN.

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Well my temp definitely went up higher, and now at 2 dpo it's gone up significantly higher, so I think it's pretty safe to say I've O'd.

Been having some crampiness/twinges down low in my abdomen all day today. Yesterday I was extremely lethargic when I first woke up, and it took all the energy I could muster just to get out of bed. That's the worst fatigue I have ever had. I almost went to the doctor, but decided to wait it out and see how I did as the day progressed. Later on in the afternoon I had a milkshake, and it seemed like after that I miraculously got better. I have been on a lower carb diet (South Beach) than what I'm used to lately, and am thinking that maybe that is the culprit. Maybe my body is just one of those 'exceptions to the rule' and can't handle doing low carb. This morning I felt much better, except I did still sleep in longer than usual. I've eaten more carbs today (sticking to mostly healthy ones) and I have had much more energy.

I am planning to wait until Mother's Day to test, assuming AF doesn't show before then. I really hope I can wait that long. I'll be 14 dpo. It will be a long wait, because I've already waited longer than usual to even O in the first place. I'm going to try and keep myself occupied and try not to think about it too much. I'll just keep saying to myself, "Mother's Day, that's what I'm waiting for." I think it would be really awesome to get a BFP for Mother's Day. That would be the best Mother's Day gift ever.

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4 dpo - Yesterday afternoon on the drive back home from town, I started to feel nauseated. I had Pizza Hut pizza for lunch, so I was thinking maybe I was just having a bad reaction to that. However, as the evening progressed, it never went away, and I was only able to eat a few bites of dinner. I had this odd "full" feeling. Granted, I did eat a South Beach Protein Bar for a snack a couple hours before that, but generally those things don't fill me up at all, just "get me by" til the next meal.

Then this morning when I woke up I felt nauseated still. I just don't think it's possible to have symptoms this early, so there just "has" to be some other explanation. Maybe when the level of progesterone rises in my body after O, nausea is a side effect? Though you would think I'd have nausea starting the day after O, and it didn't appear until yesterday at 3 dpo. Hmmm. Just interesting to note. I guess we will know if it's pg-related when the time for AF arrives and she's a no-show.

I've also noticed my boobs hurting off and on, but that's a common post-O thing for me, so not sure what to make of it. Earlier this morning I was really gassy (before getting out of bed), but that could have been from something I ate last night.

Another thing I took note of yesterday is that I suddenly did not want anything related to salad (lettuce, tomato, etc) or even vegetables. The thought of either turned my stomach. I was able to eat the veggies that were on the pizza I ate at lunch, but I think that's because the taste of them were kind of "hidden" amongst all that cheese and pepporoni and sausage and... well, ya know.

My attitude this cycle is one of refusal to get even remotely excited about the possibility of being pregnant. At least so far. Let 10 dpo get here and me have a lot of serious symptoms and high temps and I bet I'll at least start to get excited.

Oh... and I also wanted to make a note of the fact that the crampy twinges I was having back at 1 dpo have continued, except now they are more like "pulling pains" in the area where my ovaries are on both sides, and have even gotten more frequent. Not that I think it means anything really, just wanted to note it "in case" I do get a BFP. Then I can look back and say, 'Hey, that might have been pg-related afterall.' I do have a theory that a woman's body knows it's pregnant from the moment of conception. It's just my theory, though. Don't know if it's actually true.

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Forgot I wanted to mention that since 2 or 3 dpo, can't remember exactly when I started to notice it, I've had increased CM bigtime. Normally I only notice my CM on the tp in the evenings mainly, the rest of the time I don't see anything, but since about 2 dpo I see CM every time I wipe and sometimes there's quite a bit of it. And today I started to notice a yellow stain on my undies. Guess it's time for pantyliners.

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5 dpo - Well I am still nauseated today. It isn't so bad that I can't eat, and in fact, it seems to get worse after eating, but it's more of an irritation than anything. So far it's not so bad that it makes me want to vomit. I've also had some strange twinges in my abdomen today. One was an actual sharp pain, in the right ovary area, enough to make me almost double over. It happened when I was getting out of the van to take Hannah into Babies-R-Us, then subsided a little, then hit me harder as I neared the store and almost stopped me dead in my tracks. After several seconds it subsided, thankfully.

Also, late last night I was having cramps very similiar to mild AF cramps but so far today I don't think I've had any.

My appetite has definitely been bigger today. I ate breakfast (8 oz yogurt with fresh sliced strawberries) and still felt hungry afterwards. So I ate a South Beach protein bar, but still felt a little hungry. I decided to ignore it, but about an hour later had a granola bar, then about an hour after that I was ready to eat lunch. I was meeting dh for lunch but it was going to be closer to 2:00, so even though I really wanted to go ahead and have lunch, I had some vanilla wafers and waited. So bythe time we did eat luch, I was ravenous. We ate at Bonito's Italian Restaurant and I had a salad, some bread, the meat ravioli (all of it), and then a slice of cheesecake with a scoop of ice cream. :eek: It was a lot of food and I ate it all. I was full, but not stuffed. Yikes. If I keep eating like that I'd better think about replacing our back door with a barn door.

My CM has been scant today, but we dtd this morning and I always dry up awhile afterwards, then later start seeing the CM again. So we'll see what it looks like later tonight.

I think my boobs feel fuller today, unless it's just my imagination, and are still sore off and on, but I dont think the soreness is much different than usual for post O/pre-AF.

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6 dpo Last night I had more cramps, twinges, and a prickly pain that lasted for a few minutes and then was gone. Then this morning I had it again after dtd. woke up to a higher temp and worse nausea. I ate two Satlines which helped a lot. Was really hungry, too, despite the nausea and didn't think I'd ever get full. Around Noon at church I started to feel pretty bloated and have been that way ever since. Funny, though, my boobs don't seem to be as sore or full today. I have been getting little pains in them, though. Oh also after my shower this morning I noticed my boobs look more pale than usual? Noticed that yesterday, too. Seeing more veins but that's a normal pms symptom for me.

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7 dpo Nausea worsened even more. When I first woke up I wasn't hungry at all and nothing sounded good and then the nausea hit me and I understood why. So I had a few saltines, but it didn't help much. Later I started getting really hungry so I had more Saltines with pnut butter and the rest of Hannah's pnut butter toast. Then I felt better and had very little nausea the rest of the day. Cramping continued, still mild. Also cramped briefly "down there," like I do when my cervix position is changing either from low to high or high to low. Checked CP and it was high, almost soft, and closed. Nips and surrounding area starting to hurt off and on (evening).

8 dpo Early a.m. - Had some very strange feelings in my abdomen, hard to describe; one time it felt like it was tightening into a little ball? Difficult time waking up and getting out of bed; nausea not as bad this morning, was able to eat breakfast with no problem; appetite still pretty big; mild nausea throughout the day; nips and surrounding area hurting off and on; mild AF-like cramps off and on all day.

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9 dpo Woke up super hungry and extremely tired and foggy-headed, took me a long time to get going; arms were all tingly like they had been 'asleep'; the urge to pee was VERY strong this morning; still nauseated (and is worse right now, after just eating lunch).

When I first woke up at almost 5 a.m. and took my temp, it was down a bit from yesterday; I felt so tired and with my temp I wasn't tempted in the least bit to test. So I peed, drank a glass of water, and went back to bed. DH woke me up briefly when he left for work, then I didn't wake back up til around 9 a.m. :shock: I got up and went pee, but as I was peeing I said to myself, I want to test, so I did. It was bfn. I wasn't super disappointed, though, since it's still so early.

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10 dpo Well the afternoon of 9 dpo is when the nightmare began, lol. My obsessive self took over and I went back to look at that morning's test, and there was a line. Naturally I thought, "possible evap," so I took another test and the ink looked funny and was smeared across the window, so I took a third test (all dollar store tests) and a faint line came up on that one, and the more it dried the darker it got. It was a solid line, despite being faint, so I got my hopes up. So the morning of 10 dpo I tested with an Answer brand hpt (same sensitivity as FRER) and there was a possible (but not obvious) super faint line. I also took another dollar store test, and a super faint line came up on that one, too, more obvious than the Answer brand, but fainter than the 9 dpo test. More on that in my 11 dpo notes.

Symptoms about the same, except bloating and gas after eating meals started.

11 dpo Symptoms the same as yesterday, still bloated and gassy after meals. Also very irritable today. Wasn't planning to, but tested again using a dollar store test. A super faint line came up again, slightly darker than yesterday morning's test. Later in the day I compared the 9 dpo test with the 10 & 11 dpo tests because it didn't make sense to me that the 9dpo test was a bit darker. It was then that I realized the line on the 9dpo test was in a different place than the others, and then it occurred to me that maybe it was an ink line or something and not an actual line. Here it is:

The "supposed" line is too far to the right of the "T" for test line. This made me think the test was invalid, and therefore meant that I may have not gotten my first true line until 10 dpo.

11 dpo, 9:00pm - I decided to go ahead and test again tonight using the Answer brand since we are leaving early in the morning. It was BFN. I wasn't really surprised, it seems to be the story of my life for ttc #2. Get hopes up, get BFN, AF shows. So now I will just sit back and wait for AF. Not gonna expect anything but her showing up now. Hopefully she will just hurry up and get here and get it over with. She should be here by Sunday or Monday.

You know what I don't get, though? All these symptoms I've had. Surely there has to be SOME difference between PMS and pg symptoms. Uggh.

"OK Lord, I don't get this... but You know best. I put it in Your hands and ask for your help to wait on Your timing. Maybe that really was You I heard speaking to my heart a couple of weeks ago during prayer: 'It will happen. Keep trying.' "

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Well its 13 dpo and still no signs of impending AF. She is supposed to be here today, or by tomorrow at the very latest. I tested again this morning since it's Mother's Day and still BFN (using a FRER this time).

Yesterday I almost puked after using a throat spray for my sore throat, which started yesterday and has been very painful. I have never reacted that way to it. I didn't even swallow it, I just sprayed, let it sit for a few seconds, then spit it out. And today I'm feeling nauseated and a bit weak and shakey. My temp went down yesterday but back up slightly today.

I guess it's possible I'm having late implantation and it just hasn't been long enough to get a BFP yet. So I continue to wait, holding out a tiny bit of hope.....

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CD 3:

On 14 dpo (the day after Mother's Day) my temp dropped, and AF showed up by evening. I started spotting the evening of 13 dpo, right after a bout of diarhhea, which I often get a day or so before AF shows up. It was just a little bit of spotting, then nothing else til mid-morning on 14 dpo. At least AF didn't show up on Mother's Day. That was nice of her. Lol

As for how I felt emotionally when AF showed, it was weird. I didn't feel much of anything. I guess I was kind of prepared for it already when I got the BFN. In a way I had already prepared myself mentally for it, too, and had even started posting on the February 2010 birth board as a "hopeful" for that month already, once I had the diarrhea followed by spotting.

The next day, CD 2, I went ahead and ordered some OPKs online for this new cycle. I guess I'm just kind of numb to it all now, and am going through the motions. I think I am finally ready to completely "let go and let God." It's out of my hands now. Today I was reading in Matthew 8 about the faith of the Centurion, and it inspired me. I am ready to have that kind of faith now for getting pregnant again. And for some other things, too. Like a house. We really need a house. The mobile home we have is roomy enough, but.... it's a mobile home. And it's old. And we need good health insurance. That we need first. And quickly. So I put in a "rush order" with God this morning during prayer. Biggrin

"Only say the Word, Lord, and it shall be done."

Now I wait to see how God will wow me. He is so amazing, after all. His love for us is so Grand. And.. I will also wait on His perfect timing. It will be interesting to see how it all comes together.

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CD 8 (Monday): Yesterday, on CD 7, my temp spiked, but didn't think much of it since temp can fluctuate sometimes. However, I had also "possibly" had EWCM, though I wondered if it might have been BD 'leftovers'.... so just out of curiosity I looked up on FF to see if there were any charts where they O'd as early as CD 6. Expected to see "none found" but was surprised when quite a few charts came up! :shock: Wow, who knew you could O that early? We had BD'd yesterday morning, so I figured if it did turn out to be true and I O'd that early, we at least had a chance. Turns out my temp went back down this morning, though. So it was a false alarm.

I am still dealing with being tired a lot, and am thinking it's time to see a doctor. Only thing is, I've gone to the doctor for this sort of thing before, and all my blood tests, etc., came back normal. However, this peeing thing... there has to be something wrong. I urinate, but when I get up it feels like I still have to go, and I can sit back down and go again. It's like my bladder isn't emptying completely. And in general, I have to pee a LOT. More than a pregnant woman I think. And the bloating. Oh. It's just awful. So anyway, I think I will make an appt. I just hate going to the doctor so much. I'm afraid I'll spend a bunch of money again and get no answers. So knowing me, I will probably put it off a little longer.

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CD 16 (Tues, May 26): I am so bad about forgetting to post here every day. I need to make it a habit, like maybe right after posting on my chart coming straight here.

We had a nice date night Sunday evening, starting with some fun at the house. We got in a good BD session, but took a looong time, so it was a bit of an effort. We had BD Sat morning also, but no 'deposit' was made, iykwim. It had been a whole week prior to that, maybe it had been too long and that's why there was a problem. DH has been working a lot of hours lately, add to that the fact that Hannah is a night owl and that doesn't leave much time for us to have the opportunity. DH is worn out from work by the time he goes to bed, so there's no "middle of the night" opportunities, and... well, I'm usually pretty worn out, too.

So when we got in that one good BD session, I was hoping I might O soon. Even within 3 days I would have been happy. But as it turns out, it's now 2 days later and still no +OPK (as of 4:15 p.m. today). I had EWCM yesterday, and my OPKs appeared to be getting darker, which made me hopeful I would O soon, but now I wonder if the supposed EWCM might have just been BD leftovers, as my CM was mostly dry today and what little I did have was sticky.

I decided to try Robitussin this cycle to help with CM. I've been taking it since Saturday. Unfortunately I only remembered to take it once on Saturday and once on Sunday, but yesterday and today I've been taking the recommended dose. It does seem to be helping some, my CM isn't quite as dry as normal, though today it has been drier.

I've been a lot more relaxed about ttc so far this cycle, with the exception of earlier today. I got into a bit of a funk when I didn't get a +OPK by noon today. I knew that meant the little wiggly guys from the good BD session on Sunday would likely be gone by the time I ovulate. They can last up to 5 days, even 7 in some cases, but that is more rare and the most common time they last is 2-3 days at most (at least according to what I've read).

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CD 20 (May 30): Well I'm still waiting around to O. Still getting a negative OPK as of this evening. I had to use a different brand because my usual brand was out of stock, so I am hoping this brand will give me a good positive. I got over my funk, and at this point I'm just kind of coasting along, trying to stay busy with other things and keep my mind off of it. I figure when it's meant to happen, it will happen. I absolutely positively refuse to stress about it anymore. Today I made it a point to thoroughly enjoy the child I have. God also spoke to my heart with a special Scripture today: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you a future, and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)

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CD 21 (May 31): I am still getting a negative OPK as of this morning. For some reason it really bothered me when the OPK didn't show a positive. I felt myself sinking into a depression, and negative thoughts began to bombard me. I can't ovulate, I can't get pregnant, I can't keep the house clean like I want, I can't get Hannah to sleep at a decent time, blah blah blah. I laid all this at the Lord's feet and remembered the Scripture He had given me the day before. No wonder He had given that to me, He knew I would need it for today. I went back to bed and when it was time to get up and get ready for church, Hannah did something really funny and I laughed harder than I have laughed in a really long time. DH was shirtless while brushing his teeth, and she went running back there to see him. She pointed to him and said, "Boobies." (He is *ahem* a bit overweight.) He walked out of the bathroom to hide from her, laughing, then walked back into the bathroom and as soon as she saw him she yelled, "Boobies!" We were both cracking up now, then she made it even worse by saying, "BIG boobies!" ROFL That was great. I needed that so much. Thank you, Lord, for that sweet little girl you gave us.

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CD 23 (Tues., June 2): Way-yell, as of around noon today, still no +OPK. My temp dipped down pretty low yesterday morning and was the same this morning, so I thought for sure O was emminent, but apparently not. I have now broken my record of O'ing on CD 23 at the very latest (and even that was late for me). Not sure what is going on with me this cycle, I have also had some nausea off and on, and tender boobs. Guess my hormones are just crazy and out of whack. I don't have any unusual stress in my life right now, so it can't be stress. No major change in my diet, either.

So I continue to wait.... the Good Lord knows the best timing for everything, so it's in His hands. Hey maybe He is trying to teach me something about patience? I wouldn't be surprised, I sure do need that. He has changed me so much over the years, since I first accepted Him into my life as Lord and Savior (referring to Jesus Christ, here,for those who don't know), but this patience thing... well it has taken a bit more time for me to learn the lessons He has tried to teach me. I have been stubborn about letting that one go. I want what I want, and I want it now. When I'm driving, I like to drive fast, even if I have all the time in the world to get somewhere, so not only do I grit my teeth and MAKE my foot stay more upwards than downwards on the gas pedal, trying with all my might not to go more than about 5 mph over the speed limit, I also get irritated when a slow person gets in front of me. The steam starts blowing out of my ears. ESPECIALLY if they're in the left lane and driving slow, because to me, it seems they are ignoring the rules of driver courtesy and it just boils my blood. So yeah, I still have a problem with patience. But...as Phillipians 1:6 says... "Being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ".

(PS: I added my siggy to this post so that my chart will be on this page. Trying to make it easier for those who may want to look at it. ;))

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CD 26 (Fri, June 5): FINALLY... I got a definite +OPK today! Yahoo I thought it was + yesterday afternoon, but when I saw this morning's test, I decided yesterday's wasn't "quite" there yet. Never thought I'd be so happy to do as common of a thing as O'ing! Of course then I read about someone who got a +OPK one month and still didn't O (her temp never rose), so I am reserving any real excitment until I see my temp rise. I'm guessing it won't rise until at least the day after tomorrow.

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2 DPO ( Mon, June 8 ): Well I've had a temp rise to confirm O. Even if I was still subtracting a degree (see notes at top of page after clicking on my ticker), I would still be well above the coverline. Finally, I am in the 2ww Biggrin

In my mind, however, I am just looking forward to next cycle. Not that I have no hope for this one, but because I am trying to protect my emotions. I am not going to put any stock in symptoms this 2ww, unless something very unusal or out of the ordinary happens. Just going to kind of coast along until time for AF to arrive.

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3 dpo (Tues, June 9): Woke up to a nice headache this morning, though it seems to have gradually subsided. Also had some slight nausea this morning that also seems to be gone now. Again, not thinking anything of these symptoms, just making a note of them. About mid-morning, I had this constant dull pain on the right side for awhile, in the area of my ovary, then I had some AF-like cramping at the very bottom of my abdomen, in the middle, that lasted for a few minutes, then it all subsided.

Oh, I also wanted to mention that I had some dizziness back on the day of O, as well as 1 dpo, but haven't had any since.

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3 dpo, evening: Early this afternoon I had more of that dull pain on the right side, as well as cramps in the same area as before. It lasted a bit longer this time. And more nausea from dinner on. I didn't even feel like eating dinner, but I managed to eat a little. It's pretty normal for me to have nausea during the 2ww, so definitely not thinking anything of that.

Something that did dawn on me earlier today as being different this time around is that I haven't had sore breasts from the day of O til about 3 or 4 dpo. I felt something briefly this afternoon, but that's about it. Normally I have noticeably sore breasts from 0-3 dpo. Doubt it means anything at all, but it is interesting.

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4 dpo (Wed, June 10): Woke up to sore, heavier feeling breasts this morning. I just don't want to believe it could have a pg-symptom this early, especially since it would mean getting my hopes up.

ETA: Last night, my CM began to increase substantially, so much so that I had to put on a pantyliner. At the same time, my sinuses were draining so much that it made me cough (and I don't have a cold). I haven't had any more dull pain on one side today or cramps, except for a very brief episode of what felt like might be cramps that quickly went away.

I am wondering if what I thought might be sore breasts is just "muscle soreness" from organizing Hannah's toys last night. I spent about three hours lifting out quite a few toys from her two big toy boxes (large, deep, storage containers) and organzing them into piles. :dontknow: Though that wouldn't explain the 'heavy' feeling, unless I just think they feel heavy because I 'feel' them more.

I seem to have had more energy yesterday and today, especially today Smile What a relief, because I went through several days where fatigue was my best friend. It's almost like my body trying to O was taking a lot of energy, and when it finally did, I started to get my energy back. The bladder problem I was having seems to have resolved itself, too, for the most part.

The nausea is not quite as bad today, though I did have a hard time finishing my lunch.

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5 dpo (Thur, June 11): This morning I didn't feel like eating breakfast, then when I had some coffee I got so nauseated that I almost puked. So finally around 11:30 a.m. I ate a little something, I felt better for awhile but then the nausea came back again. It continued most of the day, until dinner time when it finally eased up. The increase in CM has continued as well so I have had to keep wearing pantyliners. My breasts are still tender as well. Also, I seem to be craving peanut butter sandwhiches a lot, and am not wanting sweets like I normally do.

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7 dpo (Sat, June 13): I am amazed at how relaxed I am this 2ww. Usually by now I would have tested already, but I am nowhere near wanting to test at this point. I am really doing well on not obsessing over symptoms, too, except for 4 dpo when I was over-analyzing the fact that I woke up to sore breasts.

I've only had very slight nausea on occasion yesterday and today. The sore breasts have continued but I haven't noticed it as much, until today, when they have started to get more sore. They are hurting more on the sides now, too, and are beginning to feel "fuller." This could easily be PMS, though, so noooot putting any stock in it. Sometime mid-morning today I started having light AF-like cramps that come and go periodically. The CM has continued to be more abundant. That is one thing I have never had in any of my previous cycles. It has always been varied, all the way from scant to abundant, but never consistently abundant every single day. Still, I am not putting any stock in it. Just find it interesting.

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Joined: 06/07/06
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9 dpo (Mon, June 15): I can't believe I haven't tested. I'm not sure what's different this time around, maybe the fact that I'm more relaxed and at peace about it all. If my temp goes way up tomorrow, I might be prompted to test, but otherwise, I think Im going to ride this one out all the way til Father's Day. I'll be 15 dpo then.

Yesterday I had more frequent light cramps, but they felt a little different. Seems I remember having those same type cramps when I was pg with Hannah, which I didn't even remember until I starting having the kind of cramps I did yesterday. My breasts were still sore, but about the same as the previous day. In the afternoon, I had a fairly intense O-like pain on my right side, lasted several seconds, then went away. Then I had a simliar feeling on the left side, except not as intense and it didn't last as long.

Today I haven't had any cramps at all or twinges of any kind so far. My breasts are a little more sore today than yesterday. Early this morning while still in bed, I had this odd, sharp, throbby-like pain in my left breast, in the upper part, that lasted for about a minute.

My temp dipped down some yesterday, and today down a little further. Wondering if there's any possibility it could be related to implantation.

Afternoon: Started having light cramps again, and sometime after lunch had a wave of strong nausea. Felt like I might puke, but then it slowly passed, and have continued to have a mild upset stomach all afternoon. Have had some brief intense o-type pain again as well, and more of those sharp, throbby-like pains, in both breasts this time.

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Joined: 06/07/06
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10 dpo (Tues, June 16): The sore breasts and nausea continued today, and I've had what I would call an "upset stomach" as well, where it churns and burns. Especially overnight last night -- at one point my stomach really hurt. Didn't eat anything unusal, either. Then this afternoon, I started having a dull constant pain the area of my right ovary, not sharp yet fairly intense, so much so that it hurts to walk. It hurts into my hip, too. Then my other hip started to bother me as well. Not sure what that's all about. I didn't have much in the way of cramps all day long until tonight, when I started to get a strange type of cramping.

Apparently none of the above means anything, though, because not long after dinner I went to the bathroom and noticed I had the kind of CM that I always get a few days before AF. It was unmistakeable. It's a drippy, stretchy, watery/creamy type CM that has an ever-so-slight yellowish tinge to it. I only get it 2 times in my cycle: a few days before O'ing, and a few days before AF. It's a pretty reliable sign.

So.... now I just wait for AF to show her pretty face. The good news is, I won't have to worry about being pg when we go on our vacation to the mountains the first week of July, so I'll be able to enjoy myself more (no nausea, peeing a lot, etc.).

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Joined: 06/07/06
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11 dpo (Wed, June 17): Well now I'm thinking I may not be out afterall. My breasts are more sore today, and feel heavier, I've been feeling a bit dizzy and tired and nauseated off and on, plus my temp went up.

And I kept waiting for that feeling of... "I'm just not feelin it." But it hasn't come. Instead I just feel this strange peace about it all, like "maybe" this is actually IT. I dunno. I'm so afraid to think that.

The dull constant pain in the rt ovary area is gone today. Just having occasional twinges on both sides now.

Guess time will tell. It will be interesting to see how it ends up.

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Joined: 06/07/06
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12 dpo ( Thurs, June 18 ): Well now I can spill the beans. I started testing yesterday, and the lines have gotten progressively darker. I think this might finally be it! I can't believe it.

I am nervous, as can be expected. When I temped this morning, I almost panicked because my temp was down. But I felt much better after testing and getting a darker BFP! Then I started having intense cramps in my cervix area... it lasted for a few minutes, then finally subsided. That really made me nervous, but hopefully it's just because it's more sensitive since more blood is flowing to that area now.

Surprisingly I'm not all that nauseated, which may be a good thing since that's been a PMS symptom for me for quite some time. My breasts are definitely still sore, though, and heavy feeling, but other than that and some light cramps and a little bit of gassyness, not much else going on.

ETA: How could I forget - another symptom is that my hip joints are hurting. I was reminded of it when I got up from my office chair, lol. It's a symptom I had when pg with Hannah, and at one point, one of my hips got so bad I could barely walk. Thankfully that only lasted a few days. Hopfully it won't be that bad this time around.

Also... I shouldn't have said anything about the nausea not being that bad, because not long after I took a break from the computer to do somethings around the house, I had got hit with a nice wave of nausea. Haha. But I'm not complaining! Smile

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13 dpo (Fri, June 19): I think it might finally be starting to sink in. This morning I tested again and the line was darker, very obvious now, and I got a + on a digital as well. It's so surreal. After all this time, it has finally happened. I want to tell dh so bad... I want to go out and celebrate tonight, but... it will be nice to surprise him on Father's Day. Just two more days. My plan is to make a card from a child and write something inside like "Happy Father's Day daddy, I look forward to meeting you in about 9 months." I'll include a pic of today's digi & FRER tests. Maybe I'll even buy a cute newborn onsie or something. They probably have some at BRU that say Happy Father's Day. That would be so cool. I can't wait to see the look on his face. I'm tearing up just thinking about it.

It's funny, I told him I wanted to take him out to lunch for Father's Day and asked him where he wanted to go. He insisted on going to Subway. Lol He's so funny. I think he wants to save our money right now, especially since we're getting ready to go on vacation. Well Subway it is then.

I'm just hoping I don't start getting too sick before Sunday and spoil the surprise. If I were to start puking or even just have nausea so bad that I couldn't hide it, he would probably come right out and ask, and I'd have to figure out what to say to keep him at bay. Last night I had to leave his parents house early and come on home because I was so exhausted. I wonder if he's suspicious yet. He asked me how I was feeling yesterday, and again this morning. Hmmm. He hardly ever asks me that.

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14 dpo--4 wks pg (Sat, June 20): I spilled the beans to dh this morning. He had to go and ask me, "Isn't your period supposed to be starting?" I was already about to bust from not telling him and that just opened up the floodgates. He was very excited, even more so than me, LOL. I am still very reserved about my excitement. I'm not sure when it will really sink in, maybe when it's been a week and my period still hasn't showed, or maybe not even until the first u/s.

I was remembering something today that I completely forgot to post here. Awhile back, not sure what dpo I was, but it was at least a few days before my first +hpt, I was driving home and thinking about all the women I knew, IRL and online, who had recently gotten pregnant, and was wondering when it would be my turn. Almost as quickly as I thought that, the words came to me clear as day: "It's your turn now." I thought, Is that you Lord? Or Was that just me thinking that because I really want it to be true? Now I believe it probably was Him.

After all, I had recently decided to totally trust Him and have the kind of faith that the Centurion did in the Bible, believing that all Jesus had to do was "say the word, and it would be done." Wow. What an amazing God we serve. He really is pleased with that kind of faith. But I don't give myself credit. I believe He gave me that faith... it was there, I just had to use it. Smile

This may be my last entry to this journal. I should probably start a pregnancy journal now. I wish the best for each and every woman on this board who is still trying, may your time come very soon. :grouphug: