Melanie's Journal

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Joined: 12/09/06
Posts: 43
Melanie's Journal

December 9, 2006
Hello! My name is Melanie. I'm 24. I've been married for almost 6 mths. Been TTC now since May 2006.

Every month that AF comes i feel my heart break and want to totally crawl under a rock and die. I know a lot of people here may have been trying longer then me, but in my opinion, no matter if you've been trying for 1 mth, or 1 year, the heartbreak still sucks.

My whole life my dream has been to grow up and become a mommy...well i've grown up...kinda...now i'm trying for the mommy part.

I hate that it seems like its taking forever. I hate that i feel freakishly infertile and that my body hates me.

My least fave sentence in the world right now is "It will happen when it's meant to."

everyone around me has either gotten preg by accident, or really quickly. I had a TTC buddy, but she is now preggo, and although she's super easy to talk to and I adore her, it's just different now that she is preggo.

*sigh*

December 12, 2006

well reading about my friend today who is just newly preggo kinda made me sad...and it would kill her to know that, cause she would never want to do that...so rather then tell her i'll rant on here about it...she hasn't told her family yet, as she wants it to be a christmas surprise (which is what i was HOPING to do this christmas) but her son found out the other day (via seeing the congrats card is ent toh er inthe mail...oops) and nowhes so excited shes worried hes gonna spill the beans...lol...that is cute and all, but kinda hitting close to home cause the past few mths i've hoped tog et preggo so i could have a fun christmas surprise...then she decides to start TTC and BAM one month of trying and shes preggo....*sigh*

December 21, 2006

well i'm on cd 22 today. *sigh* yesterday i called in sick to work because i felt sick to my stomach and was lightheaded. a few hours alter i was fine. EVERY single month i find TONS of symptoms and convince myself i might be pregnant...and so far have gotten nothing but BFN's! so i'm not reading into this...i slept in this morning, past the time i got up yesterday and was sick...so today i felt fine...*sigh* i dunno. i'm so hopeful.