so this 2ww is horrible....I can't concentrate on anything, I think my boss thinks i have totally lost my mind, him and the "big boss" are trying to work out a raise for me with the powers that be, and this week is really not helping my case. I just have absolutely no patience. I tested this morning and it was a BFN...I'm hoping it was just too early. Everything was so perfect this month, the 2 eggs, bd timing, we used preseed, and even the positions we did (sorry TMI). I guess all i can do now is wait for the blood test or AF, which ever comes first....please god don't let AF come......
well today is the day.....i went this morning for b/w at 8:00, and i have been sitting on pins and needles since then, i think they are supposed to call by 3:00 or so. I am so nervous. I really want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. I haven't even done any HPT's because i am so scared of getting a bfn. I have 20 of them sitting in my cupboard and didn't touch them. I have been calling my home number almost every five minutes to see if they have left a message, i am being a little neurotic, but i can't help it. Well i guess i will get my answer soon....
wow, i have been really bad at updating this journal. So I guess we can all figure out that my blood work results came back negative from my last cycle. I was devasted, I think i cried for most of the day. Everything went so well that cycle that it was hard to believe that doing it again could be any more successful. Nonetheless, I tried again. I went for my CD3 u/s and b/w and then did clomid from day 3-7, then i started the follicle study on CD10. This month i only had one mature follie, but it was a good size, 2.1cm i think, so i did the trigger shot and then came back for another u/s 2 days later and they said that i O'd. So now I am 7dpo and the wait is on.....for some reason its not that bad this time, i think it is because i really don't have that much faith in this cycle, i don't think anything is going to happen until we do IUI or something. So i don't feel like i am waiting for any good news or anything, I am just coasting along. Don't get me wrong, i would love it if this cycle brought us a bfp, but i just don't think it will.
On a more exciting note....I am going to see my friends baby tonight, she adopted him last week. I can't wait to meet him.
well that is all that is going on for now, i'll try to be better at updating this thing...
So I went to visit my friend the other day and got to meet her new little baby she adopted. He was soooo cute. I got to feed him and burp him, and it was awesome. I really can't wait to be doing that with my own baby.
I've been pretty down in the dumps lately, i don't know if its all the drugs, or if its just my lack of faith in anything happening. I want a baby so bad and I just can't forsee it happening for us, everytime I get hopefull and think "this is it" is comes back negative and i don't know how much more i can take. I think I might just be a grumpy goose right now, but i think this is all taking a toll on me, and i'm definitely not that happy girl that you see in the picture below anymore.
Well tonight my sister is coming over for dinner and i am making my famous lasagna (my family loves only mine for some reason) and some garlic bread and ceaser salad, wow i'm hungry just thinking about it. It will be nice having her over to get my mind off this crap, she has no kids and isn't going to have any (married a man who has 3 kids already and a vasectomy that he is not going to reverse), so the conversation rarely goes to TTC or kids, unless I take it there.
Well thats about it for now....Have a nice night!!!
Well its Monday, nothing much is going on. 13dpo and got a BFN yesterday, which i was pretty much expecting. I would expect AF would be showing her face on Friday or saturday and then we will start the process all over again.
On another topic, my sister, my niece and I had planned to have a xmas craft day yesterday, but because we got a HUGE snow storm overnight, it got a little messed up. DH and my sister were shoveling the driveway for about 2 hours and then we had to run out and get some salt and a new shovel (one of ours broke cause the snow was so heavy), and ended up spending around $200. oh well. So we got back at about 4:00 or so, and then started doing the crafts. It kinda sucked cause we had planned to start at noon, so we weren't able to get as much done as we would have liked. It was pretty fun though. I can't believe xmas is less than a month away.
well the rest of the cycle was as i thought it would be....a bust. I got AF on Friday and this morning went for my CD3 scan so i can start up the clomid again. Well, instead they found 3 cysts....one on one side and 2 on the other. So the dr. said he would prefer if i didn't take the clomid this cycle just to be on the safe side. So this really sucks. They are still going to monitor me with u/s so atleast i know when i am going to O, but because my natural cycles are so all over the board, he said that if we get to CD20 and i still haven't O'd, then they would give me provera to bring on AF. I really hope I O normally. I'm still feeling pretty down in the dumps lately, i can't seem to get out of my funk. My family came over today to do some xmas crafts, so that was fun, but the whole time i had other things on my mind. Well i guess we will see what this cycle brings......have a great week everyone!!!!
well today has been a kind of depressing day, no reason really, just the mood i am in. My good friend at work is pregnant, and i see her all day long, and its just starting to get to me, it didn't really bother me before, but now it is, my jealousy is growing and its not good.
nothing else really to report today...just doing the waiting game now until O, and waiting for AF to go away....
so i started this cycles monitoring on Tuesday, and it was okay i guess. The good part was that my cysts are gone, but my follicle was only 1.2cm, so she told me not to bother coming back the next day (yesterday) but to come back on Thursday (today). So i went in hoping that my follicle was nice and fat since it had been 2 days since i had been there, but nope, only 1.5cm. It only grew 3mm in 2 days...that really sucks, they were growing much faster on clomid, but i guess that is to be expected right? so i have to go back tomorrow and see what is happening. I'm really hoping that its a nice big fatty tomorrow so she can give me the hcg shot and then i won't have to go at all over the holidays. If that happens, my 2WW will be my 2 week holidays i'm talking over christmas, so hopefully i will be so busy i won't notice i am in the 2WW....you think???? lol
well i guess we will see...i will report back tomorrow with the measurements....
have a good one!!!
wow, i've really been lax in posting in my journal. So my follicle ended up being 2.1 cm and i had a really good surge on my own so i didn't need to have the hcg shot. So i ended up ovulating on December 24th. Then we relaxed and didn't really think much of anything this cycle since we weren't taking the clomid, i didn't stress at all.
Well on Wednesday morning (jan9) i woke up and took my temp, it should have been really low because it was the day before my period was due and it usually goes down that day. Well low and behold it was 98.6.....crazy....so i decided to take one of my IC tests that i had in my cupboard, and OMG it was positive, but fairly light. So i ran into the bedroom screaming trying to wake dh up....it was hilarious, i told him he had to wake up and focus his eyes cause i needed to show him something, so he slowly woke up and i showed him the test, and then his eyes shot open and he started hugging me and kissing me, it was so cute, but we both decided we needed to do another test cause the other one was so light, so i went to work and at lunch picked up a FRER, and went back to work and did it in the bathroom, the line came up in the 2 seconds, it was awesome. So i went for bloodwork yesterday to confirm and they called to say it was positive and they want me to come back on Saturday for anther blood test to make sure the #'s are climbing.
OMG i feel so blessed and so excited. God willing, i think this is the end of this journal and the beginning of a new one. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you all get your bfp's very soon.
So I went for my 8 week u/s yesterday, and it was just about the most painful thing i have ever been through. Apparently our little peanut stopped growing somewhere between 6 weeks and 8 weeks. We are devasted, i have spent the better part of the last 24 hours in tears. I know it happens to a lot of people, but i'm just not dealing with it very well. After trying for so long i thought i had finally gotten my miracle, but i guess it just wasn't meant to be. I haven't even started to miscarry yet, the doc said it could take up to two weeks, and if it hasn't then she wants me to come in to take some sort of medication to get things started, i will also be having an u/s at the same time just to make sure things are the way she thinks they are.
So I guess I will be back in the game soon, not sure how long, i may have to take a little while to grieve, i was already so in love with my little peanut that right now i can't even think of starting again right away.