wow, i'm really bad at writing here....
well AF finally came, for a day....wierd. i think that is normal after a m/c though. So i went for my CD3 u/s and started taking clomid on day 4 cause the blood machine wasn't working on day 3 so they wanted me to wait one day. So today i went in for my cd10 u/s and b/w and it showed that i already have a follie measuring 1.9cm, so she said to wait till tomorrow and then she will give me the trigger shot. I'm so excited that it is all happening really early this time, this is the earlies i have ever O'd. Even if this doesn't result in a BFP i am just happy to be back to normal and trying again,......although i really do hope it ends up a bfp...
so i am now in the 2WW, i am so happy, i O'd on day 12, and had a 2.3cm follie. This waiting is going to kill me.
My sister and i are still fighting, things aren't getting any better, so i don't know what is going to happen.
I finished my baby blanket that i started when i got preggers, now i will just put it away until the time i can use it. Here's a pic of it.
so i'm now 12dpo and going nutts, although i really don't want to test cause i really don't want to see a blaring white test....I have been feeling really sick today and yesterday, last night i almost threw up when i was brushing my teeth and today i have felt nauseaus all day off and on, smells are killing me. I don't want to read to much into this though cause i know i am just going to end up disappointed. There is probably some other explaination for it all.
Things are getting better with my sister, we are actually talking now which is good, although it still doesn't feel like things are back to normal yet. Hopefully soon it will be like the fight never happened.
My FIL went in for surgery today to remove 3 tumors from his bladder, DH just called to say he is out of surgery and in recovery, so hopefully everything is good and they got it all, any prayers would be appreciated for a healthy outcome and healthy recovery.
I think thats about all that is going on right now....i'll let ya know tomorrow if i break down and test or not....
well i'm 19 dpo WTF....not sure what is going on. my temps are low and i took an IC yesterday and it was neg, so i'm pretty sure i'm not preggers, but i don't know why AF is not coming. DH and I have been pretty busy so i haven't gotten around yet to go for a beta, i should really do that, but i know its going to be neg. anyway.
DH's dad is good, there was only 1 tumor and it was pretty small, they were able to get everything and he came home that day. So we are all very happy that he is healthy again.
Not much else going on, i have been working in my garden lately which i love, so that has been helping to take my mind off of everything else going on in my life, which is awesome, and holy crap, what a work out weeding is.......
wow, i haven't written in a long time. That stupid cycle ended up being 61 days, i have no idea what happened as i know i ovulated because i am being monitored by a fert. clinic. So now i am on CD10, and i went to the clinic this morning and had NO follicles started. I'm so depressed, i haven't been on the boards in a while, i just don't know how to pull myself out of this funk. I am going away for the weekend to my sisters cottage, so i was really hoping that i would have a big juicy one growing right now so they could trigger me tomorrow like they did last cycle, and then go back on Friday morning for my follow up and then be free to go away, well now they don't even want me to come back till Friday to see if i have anything growing by then, so pretty much i am going to have to guess when i'm ovulating, i guess its not such a big deal, but it just feels like nothing in my body is working properly and its sending me further downhill.
I just keep thinking about the day when i got my bfp, and how extremely happy i was, i just want that feeling again more than anything in the world.
Much love to every one of my friends on this board right now, i wish i could stay with you for a while longer, but i just think i am going to take a break from the boards for a while and see if i can start to feel better. I wish nothing but happiness to everyone and i hope i will be back soon, i will check on you from time to time to see how you are all doing...Dawn and Austin, i say a prayer for both of you every night, and i hope you get your miracles really soon. Aimee and Andrea, i am so happy for you, i wish you both a very happy and healthy 9 months.....
talk to you all later.....bye for now....
so i've decided that i'm not going to completely jump ship....i'm going to continue to lurk and post messages here and there, and try to keep up on this journal, i just won't be here full time. I found though, that since i decided to take a break from the boards, something keeps pulling me back, i just can stay away and i NEED to know what is going on with this place, like if i hadn't logged on today i wouldn't know that Michelle and Scootsmom got there bfps, and that just makes me happy knowing that....i'm sure there have been some while i have been away, and i'm sorry i missed them, congratulations to all of you.
Well, as for me, this has been a very slow cycle, i took clomid 3-7, but it didn't do much about making follies for me, usually i have them growing well by CD10, but this cycle there was actually nothing to measure on that day so i went back on CD 13 and there was a 1cm growing...so i took 3 days off from the clinic and went away for the weekend and came back to the clinic yesterday and the follie was measuring 1.7cm. So i went back in this morning, 18dpo, and its measuring 1.9cm. i'm going back tomorrow and hopefully my body will be ready to surge on its own, i kinda don't want a trigger shot, i've been reading and i don't hear good things about it, even though i have had them three times already, but none of them resulted in a bfp, only the cycle that i didn't use anything gave me my bfp, so i really want to let it happen on its own, i just worry that it will take forever to do that......oh well, i'll keep you all updated....
well i've finally ovulated. I had to go to the clinic Thursday and Friday because my body was taking forever to do anything. I really wanted to let my body O on its own, but Friday when i went, the doc said that if i didn't get the trigger shot, that i would lose the egg, it was getting too big, and it wouldn't be good quality, so i went ahead and had the shot. So I O'd on either Sat or Sun, but i am going with Sat because my temps went up on Sunday and that is where FF is putting it. So now i wait. God i hope this is it.
wow, i'm really bad at this journal thing, its been so long. I will try and catch up. So i ended up getting AF on Aug 19th, so that cycle wasn't mean to be, and it hit me a lot harder than the others, not for any specific reason except that i am getting to the end of my rope with all this. So i told DH that i was seriously thinking of taking a break and just relaxing and getting my mind right before we continue, he said that he understood but thought we should keep going just for a little longer, so i agreed. We already had an appointment with the doctor booked to talk about our next step so we decided to keep it and see what she had to say. So she thought it would be best if we tried the clomid with IUI, and i pretty much agreed, although i was VERY nervous about it for some reason. So to make a long story short, we had our IUI's done Sept 2 & 3, and i was very confident about things cause we had some good statistics. I had two follies 2.1 & 2.2 and DH gave 2 very good samples, one was 26 million and the second was 22.5 million. So now i am just waiting to see what happens. This 2WW is killing me though, more than most i think because of the fact that we tried this new route. Please send along some baby dust if you can. thanks
not feeling too bad today, but yesterday was horrific. I had the worst stomach pains starting around 2:00 or so, and they lasted all night, i was afraid i was having an appendicitis or something, but then i started to get really bad diarriah (sp?) (sorry TMI) so i am thinking that is where the pain came from, but i'm surprised it would last that long.
Also, my arthritis doctor took me off all medication this cycle. Usually i just take my anti inflammatory up until i would find out i was pregnant, then i would stop it, but i read something about it having negative effects on implantation, so i talked to my doctor about it and she said that i should go off it now, and then if i'm not preggers, then start it again when AF comes and stop again at O time,. But the pain is horrendous, i'm surprised i'm even at work today. Last time when i was pregnant, i went into remission right away, so i am hoping that happens again if i get pregnant again.
not sure how i am feeling about this cycle, i really have no pregnancy symptoms, i really don't feel anything at all except this horrific arthritis pain. If i knew i was preggers than i wouldn't even care, it would all be worth it, but not knowing is just making it worse. I am still going to wait till Thursday to test, i'll see what my temp does that day, if it drops i won't test, but if it stays high i will. Please pray for me that it stays high. Since the beginning of the cycle i've been praying that there is 2 in there (i had 2 eggs), but right about now, i am just praying for whatever i can get. I just want to be pregnant so bad. My EDD from the angel was yesterday, and I knew 2 people who were due on or around that day and they have both had their babies now, and that just makes me so sad. I just keep asking myself "when is it going to be my turn???" I guess only god knows that for sure.
On a lighter note, DH bought me a nintendo ds this week, he knows that i have been wanting one so he just went out and got it for me. We also got new cell phones which is exciting too. See, i am looking for the small things in life that bring me joy.