well i didn't write anything on Friday because i was just too upset. AF came Friday morning at 4:00. I was devastated. I spent the next 2 hours in bed crying until i had to get up for work. I guess i really did put all my hope into this cycle even though i said i wasn't going to.
So i went to the doc yesterday for my CD3 bloodwork so we can get this thing started all over again, and when talking to the doc, i just felt very discouraged. She has always been very optimistic about getting me pregnant, and usually when i leave there i feel alot better than when i went in. Well yesterday this wasn't the case. I asked her if she could see a reason why it didn't work this cycle, and she said, "I really can't, all your numbers are perfect" so then she said, "I am just waiting for your cue to move on" I was like, what does that mean, and she said "well we could start injectables or IVF. I was like WHAT, where is the optimism you used to have, my heart sank into my toes when she said IVF. I don't know what to think now. We are going to do another cycle of clomid/IUI and then if that doesn't work, i don't know what is next, i just feel right now that this is never going to happen for me.
Well i'm on CD14 now, i have 5 follies, but right now it looks like only 3 of them are going to mature, and one of them is already really big, so by the time they trigger me there will probably only be two good ones, which i guess is fine, its one on each side which i pefer over having both on one side. So i have a 1.6 on my left and a 2.1 & 1.5 on my right. I have to go back again tomorrow and hopefully they will trigger me and then i will have my IUI's done Saturday and Sunday. I'm kinda hoping that I surge myself this month too, i don't want another trigger shot....although i will if i have to. Right now i am just crossing my fingers that i have atleast 2 viable eggs at trigger time.
well they didn't trigger me again, they still want those two smaller eggs to catch up to the bigger one, the good news is that the big one didn't grow, so i might have 3 good eggs, right now they are at 1.7 (L) and 2.1 & 1.6 (R). So it looks right now like i will be doing IUI Sunday and Monday.
So i had my IUI's done (sorry a little late on this update) on Sunday and Monday, it looks like i had two eggs, 2.3 and 2.0, one on each side. I'm okay with that. DH's numbers weren't as good as last time, he had 8 million the first day and 10.5 million the second day. So now i am in the horrible 2WW, it really suck, i really wish (as do most of us) that there was a way to tell RIGHT AWAY if you are pregnant.
Anyhoo, that is where i'm at right now, with a long wait ahead of me.
well its over, AF arrived last night....i'm so upset right now, especially since it came 3 days early.....what the h*ll is up with that??? I should be calling the clinic to make an appointment for CD3, but i just can't bring myself to do it right now....