I have the worst luck with posting about AF and then having her appear minutes after. She's a mean ol' witch. I did reset the monitor and made today CD1. It was a major debate, but since yesterday was midday and a really lite flow, I determined today to be CD1. In the end, it doesn't make too much of a difference, hopefully the monitor will find me.
Off to a college football game tomorrow with dh and ds. Ds really enjoys them and its fun for us too. Then we're going to the pumpkin patch on Sunday. Big doings this weekend. No big news other than that. My friend with the triplets is 27 weeks and holding on pretty well. I'm going to focus my attention on helping her.
TGIF everyone and have a great weekend!!! GL to any of those poas.
This week has flown by. I've been so busy that I don't even know what to do with myself. Some of it I brought on myself, I really need to not overschedule myself. The rest just kind of happened. I'll be in Charleston most of next week on business. Hopefully, I'll have Internet connection. If not, I'll have a lot of time at night in a hotel room.
Anyhow, still plugging away with the monitor. I think the reset must have worked because it asked me to start poas a little bit earlier than last month. It's CD8 and its still low fertility which makes sense. Last time it started with high on CD9 so the true test will be tomorrow. It will be interesting poas this weekend as we'll be camping...not necessarily the best setup for it, but I'll make it work.
I'm such a journal slacker. I really didn't mean for so much time to fly before I posted. I had Internet in Charleston, but I was so tired after our dinners that I just went back to my room and went to bed. I'm sure the glasses of wine with dinner didn't help. Today is CD18 and I'm so happy. I finally saw the egg on CD17. The only downside was that I didn't believe the monitor and took advantage of my hubbie the day before it appeared. Normally, I wouldn't be too concerned, but his sperm count as been dwindling lately. We dtd the day before the egg, the day of and the day after. If that doesn't cover me, nothing will.
I was talking to my friend on the phone yesterday morning because I was asking if we should dtd that night again or wait until the next morning. Her response was "shock and awe baby." I got a good laugh at her comment. She was basically saying, do it until you drop. There's nothing like a girlfriend to make you laugh at what can be a stressful time in your life. Now I'm officialy 1DPO. The obsessing will begin now...
Nothing new to report. I'm 3po and just feeling down in the dumps. I'm just plain depressed. There isn't really a good reason for it. I don't know if its hormones or what. Today I had a fit because the snack I was trying to make for ds for tomorrow turned out bad. WTF. That isn't worthy of being depressed. I was sitting at work today looking at all of the info/dates I've kept track of over the past two years and it nearly brought tears to my eyes. Why is it taking so long????? I feel like there's a big mystery out there still to be solved. In the meanwhile, I'm spending ridiculous amounts of money only to get BFN and nothing wrong with me. Please give me some good news soon. Each month brings me down even more which isn't helping, but I don't know how to stop it.
Wow, is it possible for PMS to start this early in the cycle? Today is CD21 and I am surly as sh$t. I feel like I'm snarling at any person who comes within 5 feet of me. Work should be fun today. I really hope no one messes with me. The only happiness I have today is that its Thursday and I only have one more day in the week. I have to work a little bit on Saturday, but not enough to get me down. Then I have to go to babiesrus on Sunday to get a shower gift for my sil. Now that could be interesting. My mil can truly drive me batty sometimes, but I actually invited her along this time. Other than that, nothing really new to report. My lower back is bothering me a little and I'm starting to get crampy, but that's nothing new. We'll see...
CD22 and trying to keep positive. I keep overanalyzing any twinge I feel. Again, why can't there be a camera where you can just see what the heck is going on. In the meanwhile, the monitor keeps telling me to poas every morning. Since this is the first true successful month on the monitor, I'm anxious to see what it makes me do.
Tomorrow could be an interesting day. I'm going to babies rus with my mil. We were supposed to go on Sunday because I thought I had to work tomorrow, but I don't have to work so I thought it would be easier to get it over with tomorrow. Although I don't have to work tomorrow, I have to work for a while tonight. At first I was bummed, but now it looks as if it worked out for me. DS woke up in the middle of the night with 103 fever only to find out this morning that he has strep. if I didn't have to work tonight, I would have had to take today as a sick day and I don't have too many of them left. Luckily enough, dh was able to cancel his afternoon appts and I came in to work at 1pm. Now it ends up to be an 8 hr day instead of 12. DS should be fine by tomorrow. They gave him a shot of antibiotics instead of 10 days of meds. TGIF everyone!!
CD24 and starting to get pretty anxious. On Fri night I had some pretty crazy twinges. They were actually pretty painful. I wish it would be implementation, but it would probably be too early. Now I've just got pressure down there and I'm crampy. That's pretty typical for me before the witch arrives. Trying to be patient and positive. I wonder how long that will last. Either way, I should know by Sat what the deal is. Nothing else to report. I spent 4 hours with my mil on Sat and it wasn't too bad, just exhausting. Then we had everyone over today to celebrate bil's bday. Hopefully, this week will go fast. I'm already ready for next weekend. Maybe it will be a bit more relaxing.
CD28 and I'm losing my mind. Pleeeeeeaaaaasssseee let this one take. I can't take the madness. Either way I'll know by Saturday so only two more days to obsess. The monitor isn't asking me to poas as of CD25 so I'm hoping that doesn't mean it lost hope in me. I still don't quite get the monitor. I guess it would help if I read the directions again. I read them when I first got it, but its been a while. Now I'm just trying to keep myself busy. No good symptoms to obsess about. I was crampy yesterday, but that has subsided for now. It seems like I'm mainly crampy in the PM. Is that weird?
I used to think I was a strong woman, not in the physical sense, but the mental. Lately, I don't feel that way. I'm very sad today. Last night, I started spotting which means the witch is getting ready to show her ugly face yet again. I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat. Why am I not getting pregnant? I've gone through all the testing, had 3 failed clomid cycles, 4 failed IUIs and a lap that didn't show anything significant. Dh's sperm analysis was fine too. Granted, his sperm count hasn't been what it used to be, but still going strong. I'm tired of the failure.
I'm tired of hearing people's baby news and I'm sick and tired of hearing that it will happen when you least expect it. When will I possibly be in a situation where I'll least expect it? Another fun one is that I'm too stressed about it for it too happen. Again, how does one turn your stress off? As you can tell, I'm pretty sick and tired of the stupid comments I've heard over the past 2 1/2 years. I know that everyone has meant well, but there must be an etiquette book created for people on how to deal with people trying to get pregnant. Notice I refuse to use the word infertile. That word is not in my vocabulary and I refuse to use it. Maybe that's my last ditch effort to happiness. Who knows?
I'm usually pretty chipper on a Friday. It means a long weekend, but I'm not feeling too chipper today. I just want to crawl into a ball in my pjs and get back into bed. The only thing keeping me going today is the fact that I'm only working two days next week. I'm off Thurs and Fri and I took Wednesday.
I realized yesterday that I've never taken a day off for just me. I'm talking never in over 10 years of working. I've always lived somewhere away from home and spent all of my vacation visiting someone else and next week I need it. I'm going to enjoy the day with dh and ds and I can't wait.
Sadness is gone, but now I'm frustrated. Today is CD4 and AF has been long gone. When I was doing all of the IUIs, the big thing we had problems with was the thickness of my lining, hence a short period. If there isn't much there, not much to come out. Well this period lasted barely 3 days and I never really had one major day. That isn't good. I'm trying desperately to do this without going back on clomid. I just didn't like it. It dries you out so much, which is sooooo not condusive to having enjoyable sex. I know you can get preseed, but now the romance of the situation is completely gone.
I'm a major buzzkill right now. I'm no longer depressed, just annoyed at everything. I'm sick of disappointment.