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  1. #11
    missy11
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    Another step in the TTC journey is tomorrow. I have an US and visit with the RE at 10am. I'm nervous, but I don't know why. I guess I've always been a little unsettled anytime I have to go to the drs. For some reason, I have this fear that they are going to tell me that either they found something awful. I guess I'm a little paranoid. Or at least that's what I used to think. Now I'm always worried that something would happen to me and prevent me from seeing my ds grow up. I don't know why I feel this way tonight. Maybe just emotional.

    I'm heading to bed soon. Today was a long day. We drove 2 1/2 hours to see my dh's grandma today. Well worth the long drive. She's 94 and it had been 6 mo. since we had seen her last. I know that sounds awful especially since she doesn't live that far, but you know how crazy things can be.

    It was a really nice visit, but it was sad when we left. She's never been a real emotional woman, but she cried when we left and said that she felt really old. That's odd for her as she's never really been that way. In fact, I think she's got it together better than people much younger than her. I'm glad we went. We're already planning another trip after the holidays.

    Off to sleep. I'm exhausted from a day of travel.

  2. #12
    missy11
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    Holidays came and gone. Another year that flew by. I can't believe its been 7 years since the Millenium. Nothing big happened over the holidays. We went to NY to visit my family for the week and then came home to relax a couple of days before heading back to work.

    On the TTC front, there has definitely been an A ha moment. After all the blood work and U/S, they discovered that my progesterone was too low to get pg. They recommended clomid and I about snapped. I tried clomid for 4 mo. and it made me an absolute monster, or at least that's what I'm blaming it on. So instead of clomid, I started Femara. They said it wouldn't have nearly as bad s/e, but we'll see.

    Today is CD9 and I took my last dose of meds. Now I'm waiting for my LH surge. I did have a bit of a panic attach yesterday though. For the first time in the last 16 mo, I was actually happy to see a neg HPT. I had spotted a little yesterday and I called my RE who had me run out and get a pg test. Apparently, spotting on Femara is not typical and they were worried that I had started taking it while I was pg. That wouldn't have been a good thing since it causes birth defects. Luckily enough it was pg and I've moved on.

    Now to the waiting game. I actually bit the bullet and bought the expensive OPK. I wanted the one that was digital because I always panicked on whether I was reading it right. Now, I'll have proof.

    Nothing new besides that. Happy New Year

  3. #13
    missy11
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    Holidays came and went. Another year that flew by. I can't believe its been 7 years since the Millenium. Nothing big happened over the holidays. We went to NY to visit my family for the week and then came home to relax a couple of days before heading back to work.

    On the TTC front, there has definitely been an A ha moment. After all the blood work and U/S, they discovered that my progesterone was too low to get pg. They recommended clomid and I about snapped. I tried clomid for 4 mo. and it made me an absolute monster, or at least that's what I'm blaming it on. So instead of clomid, I started Femara. They said it wouldn't have nearly as bad s/e, but we'll see.

    Today is CD9 and I took my last dose of meds. Now I'm waiting for my LH surge. I did have a bit of a panic attach yesterday though. For the first time in the last 16 mo, I was actually happy to see a neg HPT. I had spotted a little yesterday and I called my RE who had me run out and get a pg test. Apparently, spotting on Femara is not typical and they were worried that I had started taking it while I was pg. That wouldn't have been a good thing since it causes birth defects. Luckily enough it was pg and I've moved on.

    Now to the waiting game. I actually bit the bullet and bought the expensive OPK. I wanted the one that was digital because I always panicked on whether I was reading it right. Now, I'll have proof.

    Nothing new besides that. Happy New Year

  4. #14
    missy11
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    I'm really anxious this month, but I'm trying not to be. I guess anytime you try something new, you think that this will be the month. It's really nice right now to have renewed positive feelings about ttc. Today is CD 14 and no LH surge yet, but I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be positive. Meanwhile, I have dh on hold. We're really trying to keep the mood light these days. Now that we have an idea of why we're not getting pg, it definitely helps the stress level. That's not to say that we can fix it, but again, I try to focus on any positive I can find and this month's positive is that we found the source of the problem and its fixible.

  5. #15
    missy11
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    Yeah, my opk came back positive!! This is the first time I've bit the bullet and bought the expensive digital test, but I wanted a guarantee. I didn't want to second guess the test...I wanted it to show me for a fact that I ovulated. I was really starting to get nervous since it was day 17 and it was my last test, but I saw the smiley face.

    I was so excited that I called DH. Now I have to wait to tomorrow and get busy

  6. #16
    missy11
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    I swear sometimes my dh can really make me crazy. I was sick as a dog all last week and part of the week before. Did I complain...no. So now he's sick and he has been whining so much I just can't take it. You would think the world has ended just over a cold. Sigh...why are men like babies sometimes.

    On the TTC front, I have to give blood tomorrow and I'm a little nervous. I'll find out tomorrow if the femara has increased my progesterone level. I've been very anxiety ridden lately. I guess thats what the 2ww can do to you.

    I'm off to Myrtle Beach tomorrow for a three day meeting. Major bummer except for Tues afternoon. We got a choice of golf or spa and I chose spa. So courtesy of my company, I get an hour long serenity message. The timing couldn't be any more perfect!

  7. #17
    missy11
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    I've decided that there should now be a TTC forecast in addition to a weather forecast. If this existed, here would be todays forecast. Gloomy and rainy. All the positive vibes I felt a couple of weeks ago were wiped out in one phone call. The nurse from the RE's office called on Wed to tell me the results of the 7DPO prog and it was lower than the unmedicated cycle. WTF. Then my dr called me today and explained what he wanted to do next. I've got to take a HPT on Monday, assuming the old hag hasn't arrived. Then I need to schedule another baseline U/S and get started on femara and sequential stims.

    I also told him that I wanted to do an IUI this cycle. I know this sounds awful, but I've been trying the o natural way for 17 months and I'm tired of having forced sex. I just want spontaniety (?sp) back.

    I'm just feeling really sad today. I'm trying not to, but that's also the nasty hormones playing head games with me. I feel like having a pity party for me. The only downfall is I still can't have a drink at that pity party. Sigh

  8. #18
    missy11
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    The forecast continues, but today I add ****ty to it. AF reared her ugly head today and the only positive thing I can say about it was that she was on time. Today marks a 17 mo anniversary that I wish didn't exist. I talked to my mom this morning. She is wonderful. She has a way of getting me out of my funk and bringing me back to reality which is definitely what I needed this morning. It's funny though, when she said to take a deep breath, I realized that one wasn't going to cut it. I needed about 20 deep breaths. I want desperately to be positive. I want to think this is going to work out, but every month it gets harder and harder. I see pregnant people everywhere I go and that makes me sad. I want to be that person!

  9. #19
    missy11
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    My mood has definitely improved. It started off pretty crappy, but improved the moment I went to ds's ortho appt. He was born with clubfeet and had casts/shoes for a while and then just wore them at night for the last two years. You wouldn't even be able to notice there was a problem. Anyhow, the dr told us yesterday that he doesn't have to wear them anymore. Yahoooooooooooooooo. That's huge news for us. Plus, I think dh found an employee to help him. Both news really lifted my spirits.

    I also talked to the nurse today and got my full marching orders. I take Femara again CD5-9, gonal F (stims) CD9-12, U/S on CD13 and then a HCG trigger shot. Wow, just typing it makes me realize that I'm going to be a little pin cushion this month. Again, ALL WORTH IT!!!!

  10. #20
    missy11
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    What a cruddy day. First snow and then rain. Typically I love snow, but living in the south has kind of ruined it for me. It isn't the kind of snow I love. Now Colorado snow is fun!! I'm sitting here at work dreaming of my package of medicine to arrive. They had to send it to me at work since someone had to sign for it and I can't wait. I know that sounds nuts, but I'm ready to get things moving. I want my baby!

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