I can't believe how long its been since I posted. It's been a bit of a whirlwind since my last post. I had a wonderful vacation even though AF paid a bit of an early visit. I was a little surprised as I had some renewed hope, but not much I could do about it. I actually handled it well. Didn't have much choice given I was getting ready to go to a Police concert when it happened. I got back late Sunday night and immediately entered the busiest week at work ever and I have another one. Aaaaaggghhhh!
Fast forward to Wednesday afternoon. I had my annual ob visit. Last year, my dr asked how everything was going and I lost it. Just started crying. I thought I had it together this year, but I lost it again. I guess I hadn't dealt with AF's arrival good like I thought I had. He kept asking me about IVF and I couldn't bring myself to say we would do it. Does that mean I've given up? I know this sounds crazy, but we can't risk having twins. It would break us financially to have two in daycare and the thought of a potential third brings me to tears. I know this is borderline selfish, but its also being responsible. I guess...
I don't know anymore. I really want to have another child, but I also don't want to put my family in a bad situation. its not like I can quit and we can suck it up. I'm the insurance holder for the family and dh's business is scary. you never know when it will be a good week or not, especially with the economy the way it is.
I'm trying not to stress about it, but I'm reminded of age right now. I turn 35 on Monday which isn't that old, but dh is going to be 43 in March. I think that's why everyone is looking at us like a ticking time bomb for fertility. I wish I had the magic answer right now. I want someone to just take the mystery out of it.
I didn't mean for this to be depressing. I just think things have built up and I haven't released in a while. I've tried to be strong, but I think I've just tried to push things out of my mind instead of dealing with them. Is it too late for a New Year's resolution?
CD12 and busy, busy, busy. My birthday came and went in a blink of an eye. I was so busy at work that I didn't even get to truly enjoy it. I did have a nice dinner that night with dh, ds and a friend of ours. Now we're just busy at work and packing. I'm starting to get pretty excited about the move. We've been to the house a couple of times dropping off boxes and its really starting to feel real. We are going to be in complete shock with the additional space. Even just more kitchen cabinet space is exciting. Its funny, but I'm more interested in moving right now than I am with where I am in the cycle. I had to sit down and count where I was because I didn't actually know right off hand.
Meanwhile, I know this is a little tmi, but dh and I have also rekindled our love life lately. We are actually enjoying each others company a lot more than normal which is nice. I was starting to feel like the only time we dtd was when I was fertile. Now, you just never know.
Things are starting to calm down. Last week was a blur as was the weekend. We picked up our new furniture that I bought on ebay and I worked part of the weekend. I've never said this before, but I'm glad the weekend is over. CD17 and not really trying this month. Our schedules are just too busy to worry about when we do and don't dtd. Its funny though, when we aren't keeping track, we dtd more often. LOL. Oh well. You just never know...
I feel jinxed. I'm hoping that bad things come in threes and that I'm done because this has been a strange week. First, our pipe in the basement springs a leak, which had already been noted on the inspection, but now started spraying. Then our air conditioning goes out. Thank goodness its just the thermostat and they fixed it. The final act of three was my dryer. It just up and died. Granted it was 7 years old, but come on now. I think all three have been resolved, but things keep popping up like that.
With the move coming up, my stress level has increased and I'm trying to keep calm. We're scheduled to move on the morning of the 29th and now our buyer wants the new people (who she's renting to) to move in on the afternoon of the 29th. WTH??? She had originally told us that we could have until the 31st and we were going to use every last minute of that. Now we're having to haul a$$ to get out by the 29th. The moving truck was going to take our furniture and I was going to use the last two days to get misc items and clean. Hmmm...
On the TTC front, still playing it cool. CD18 and just enjoying dh.
So the fun continues. I went to go online last night and my Internet didn't work. Since my phone, internet and cable are all tied in through one company, I started checking the others. They didn't work either. I called the cable company and they said that I cancelled our service and it was getting moved to our new house. I had to laugh out loud on this one. I, very politely, told the woman that part of her information was correct and if she would look further, she would see that it wasn't supposed to happen until August 30th. At that point, the phone goes silent and then I get the apologies.
The reason I had to laugh out loud is because the same things happened with our utilities and mail forwarding. Apparently, it doesn't pay to do things ahead of time in south carolina. All companies had a date of change, yet all completely ignored them. I'll give the mail man a break because he claimed that the info that I gave online for the forwarding didn't make it to him, but the utilities people just downright screwed up.
Oh well, I guess I should have been a slacker and waited until the last minute.
Again, nothing new on the ttc front. We were so tired from getting things done last night that the two of us crashed. Needless to say, we didn't dtd, but we did the night before and the day before that. Tonight we're going to try and take apart of the pool table. That should be fun. Maybe it will inspire us to dtd...just kidding.
CD26 and so sore. This moving thing is not fun. I've somewhat given up hope for this month. I just don't see how it would be possible. We bd when we were supposed to, but between the stress from moving and everything I've been doing, I just don't see it happening. That's ok though because I'm focused on getting my new house up and running and I need to feel my best for that.
Not much else going on besides the move. Tonight we're going to finish cleaning out the attic and start the cleaning process. The buyer is coming in tomorrow to check out the things from our inspection list. Then we close tomorrow at 2pm and 3pm. Yahoooooooo!!!!!
I'm so excited today that I can't focus on work AT ALL. We're closing on our new house this afternoon!!!!!!! Plus, I don't have to work tomorrow or Monday. I should have my Internet set up by Saturday or Sunday. AF should be arriving this weekend too. Maybe she'll decide to give me a 10 month or longer vacation. Doubtful, but that would be a nice additiont to my moving happiness. Since I'll be out of commission the next few days...good luck to everyone getting ready to poas!
We are officially house poor...but happy!! The closing on the house was pretty uneventful, but the move stunk. I worked myself to the point of crying. You know when you get so tired that everything makes you weepy? That was me on Friday. The movers were taking things out the front door as I was taking things out the back door. The house was a mess, dog hair was all over the floor and I felt like the day would never end. Fast forward to Tuesday...still have stuff all over the place, but the house is starting to come together.
I still can't find things, including my box of tampons. Yup, AF decided to visit on Saturday. I wasn't surprised, but the timing truly was not fun. She packed a punch this time so that's a good sign. She's pretty much gone already which is about normal for me. I would love for this month to be the one as it would keep me out of work during the summer. This is about when we started to ttc 3 years ago.
Can we say sore? Yup that's me. I don't know if I'm still sore from going up and down stairs, moving boxes and furniture or if I'm coming down with something. Either way, it doesn't feel good. I had to take an aleve today because I felt that bad. My back hurts, my legs hurt...even my hands hurt. I feel like such a baby. I've been working myself so hard that I feel like crying. Plus, to make matters worse, I'm working a 14 hour day today. Stupid me agreed to help out at a concert tonight. I figured they would try and get me to work tomorrow if I didn't offer to work tonight. Well worth having tomorrow off.
Nothing new on the ttc front. Still spotting from AF which is a little weird for me, but I guess you never know. Typically, she sticks around for ~3 days and then I spot for a couple more. The spotting has been a little worse than normal, enough that I decided to put a tampon in. Hopefully, I'll be in the clear by the end of the weekend.
The spotting finally stopped and I'm not sore anymore. TG. It was really getting bad. I got some painting done this weekend and did some returns. Plus, I got more furniture in place and unpacked a few more boxes. I'll be so happy when my pictures are on the walls. that's when it feels like home.
Still pretty early on the ttc front. DH and I haven't had much time to dtd lately, between AF and being sore, I'm anxious to feel up to some fun.