CD27 and haven't updated in a while. I guess there isn't really much to say. I haven't given up by any means, but I'm not overly motivated as well. Anytime I get too into it, i.e. tracking and such, I have more heart break when AF arrives. I know that sounds silly, but it seems to be working for me. Now when AF arrives, I kind of shrug my sholders and move on.
It helps that my closest friend in the area only has one child so I'm not constantly reminded of what ds doesn't have, a sibling that is. When I go home, I'm constantly reminded. Every one of my friends but one has at least 2 children, if not 3. One of my friends has 4.
If things don't go our way by the summer, I'm going to look at IVF. That way, if I do get pg, we won't have to handle two daycare payments for too long as ds will be in kindergarden. I'll be 36 at that point and I'm ok with that. Dh, on the otherhand, will be 43. Hopefully, that won't be too much of an issue for the RE.
On another note, I still haven't hung the pictures in my house yet. Why can't I motivate? We did finish the basement, or at least as much as we plan to for now. It looks great. And we had our nieces bday party there this weekend and it was a hit. My sil is already asking if we can do her 40th as a basement party. I thought that was pretty funny, but it was a hit I guess.
CD28 and I don't feel much happening yet which makes sense. I feel like I didn't get the o feeling until later in the cycle...maybe around CD18-19. If that's the case, it will push me to at least CD30. I am experiencing some serious dryness which usually means either a day or two before the witch arrives. Scary how well you get to know your body when you've been ttc for so long. That's part of the reason why I stopped using the fertility monitor. It was too expensive to keep up with the sticks. If I was irregular then I would use it again, but I'm pretty much right on calendar.
I can't believe its on Tuesday. I feel like this week is dragging on forever and its only 2 days in. Yikes. Tonight we're going to go to a chili cookoff and Thursday we have a pumpkin carving party to go to. That should speed things up a bit. Then to Halloween. DS is a power ranger this year. He really wanted to be batman, but I couldn't find a costume that would fit him so he picked up a new one.
I just realized that last Halloween I got my period just before. I really am pretty regular if I can stay on track for an entire year.
CD29 and don't really feel that crampy yet. I do have tender bbs, but I've had that almost every cycle so I don't really see that as a potential symptom. Other than that, just feeling full and kind of bloated. Tomorrow will be the true test of what's going on. AF will either be here or I'll be very crampy. Only time will tell...
CD30 and I'm getting a bit anxious. I had a little more cm than normal today and it gave me a tiny bit of hope. I try not to think about it too much, but who am I kidding. When I'm really busy at work, its easier to keep my mind off things, but I'm kind of slow right now and that sucks.
Way too much time to lurk on birth boards and wish that it was me. And definitely too much time to see what my potential due date would be. I need a distraction...desperately. We've got a pumpkin carving party tonight so that will help for tonight, but then the weekend comes and I'm doomed.
CD31 and I'm on pins and needles. I feel like AF is lurking over my shoulder, but the witch hasn't made her halloween appearance quite yet. Last time I said that, she was there within minutes so we'll see...
Still waiting, but I really feel like it will be any minute. How many times can I go to the ladies room and check. Part of me wants to poas and the other side just doesn't want to know. Sometimes false hope is better than no hope at all...kwim?
What a crazy cycle. Its CD33 and AF isn't here yet. I poas yesterday and it was a bfn so I really don't believe I'm pg, but the witch still hasn't reared her ugly head yet. This is the second month that I've gone as far as CD33 with no bfp. WTF??
CD1....AF did a late night visit so I'm still considering this CD1 as I normally would have been asleep and not noticed until this morning. I'm ok with everything because I really didn't think this month was possible. I haven't been crazy about dtd during key times. I guess I've been a slacker on the whole ttc front. It's almost as if I've accepted that I will only have one child.