My Baby Journal

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rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
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My Baby Journal

I am hoping that this effort is going to be useless and that in 2 weeks I will no longer need this journal to detail my TTC journey. I am hoping at the end of this 2WW I will be moving to a pregnancy journal. Here's hoping!

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45
A little history

DH and I have been TTC for a while and from charting I knew something was wrong, my LP's were only 9 days MAX. So I made an appointment with the gyno and convinced him to run some tests. He tested my progesterone and at 8dpo it was only 5, normal is 4.4-28. It was still in the "normal" range but it was still low. He perscribed me Clomid and tested again the next cycle. Well it worked, my progesterone went up at 8dpo it was up to 14. :woohoo: it went up but it was not my magical cycle because at 9dpo I started spotting again. MY gyno would not hear any talk to there being a problem with my LP so I switched to an RE.

I LOVE my RE. He is wonderful and puts me at ease. He is the first Dr in the state of Michigan to successfully perform IVF. That makes me fell better about my choice of dr's. I told him of my short LP and he was concerned that my progesterone was not high enough in the 2WW so he perscribed me progesterone suppisorites to use after I O. Finally someone willing to listen that there was a problem! I love him even more! So did more tests after the cycle I was in when I started seeing my RE. The Next cycle we did an S/A for DH and a post coitial test for me and my CM.

DH semen analysis went well. Normal sperm count is 50 -150 million and DH's was 218 million. Sounds like a good number and the rest of the measurements were good, so the problems does not lie with him. It is me. Sad

Post Coitial test was interesting to say the least with horrible results! We BD at 5:30 in the morning and I went in for the test at 8:30. That is 3 hours in between, the Dr said between 2 and 8 hours. Well the exam was fairly straight forward, almost like an annual exam. They take a sample of your mucus at the cervix and just inside the cervix. The technician went to look under the microscope at the results and what seemed like forever she came back with HORRIBLE news. There were only 2 non moving sperm in my mucus, those were the ONLY ones she found. She said that my mucus was thick and was most likely preventing the sperm from getting where they needed to be. She said that since that is the case they are going to need to put them where they need to be, that I will need IUI. Sad More bad news for me.

The next cycle we tried estrogen to thin out my CM, but it was a useless cycle because I did not Ovulate. The first time since I started charting and it was devestating. Moving on to IUI.

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IUI #1

Was not successful! I went for my U/S and it showed 3 good follies in the left so I thought this was a great shot. We did the IUI and prayed. It did not work. We were so upset I almost could not go on. I wanted to crawl in a dark corner of the room and cry and never come out. I feel like a failure of a woman. I cannot even get pregnant when they inseminate me! DH has a hard time talking about things and tends to keep them bottled up.

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IUI #2 - in 2WW!

WOW! This IUI was so much easier/better than the first time.

The first time I had horrible cramping and it took her forever (or at least it seemed) for her to insert the cathether into my uterus. This time she (new lady) was able to slide it right in. I had minimal cramping this time and she waited for it to stop before starting the insemination. The first time I had some heavy spotting, this time NONE. I don't know if it is because I knew what to expect or what, but this time was easy!

I am trying not to get excited and as hopeful as I did last time, it just hurt more when it did not work. I am only 3DPO, but I feel great! I just need to hold out until 23dpo (march 6) to test. I told myself I would not do it any sooner!

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IUI #2 - 4dpo

Well here I am 4dpo and I feel okay. The first week is easy, it is the second week that kills me! I have been a little crampy lately and I don't know why. It almost felt like O pais the other day on the left side. Really strange. DH and I barely talking about being in the 2WW. I think after we got our hopes up so high last time that we are better off not talking about it as much.

I have a baby shower to go to next weekend and I already don't want to go. First they never really wanted a baby, and now they are mad that it is a girl. I am so mad that I could just scream at them. They started trying in July but stopped in August because she was not ready yet and her husband was not mature enough to be a father, her words not mine but I agree. Well it turns out she got pg in august before they stopped trying. Go figure right! Any way the shower is next weekend, the same weekend I will find out how this IUI cycle went. :eek: Not good timing. I am hoping for nothing but good news so I will not be sad and weepy during the shower.

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Iui #2 - 5dpo

Well nothing new on the 2WW front. Still cramping in the ovaries every now and then. I have no desire to POAS. Most likely because I know it will be positive from the trigger shot. Last time I POAS at 8dpo and it was faintly positive so I know it stays in my system for at least 9 days. I am 1/2 way thru the semester so in 8 weeks I will have my paralegal degree! Yahoo Now if I could get PG too it will be a great year!

Okay so I have a friend I will call A, who keeps telling me that another friend I will call P keeps copying us, kind of like keeping up with the Jones'. Well I saw that they did a lot of the same things as us, but also did the same things as other friends as well, so I never thought much of it until now! Just an example of what I am talking about, we bought a 32" LCD TV, P bought a 50" Plasma TV (always gotta be bigger). We bought an older travel trailer P bought a newer travel trailer. The other friends got a horse, P got a horse, and you see where I am going with this. DH built a racecar from the ground up, P's hubby bought a car and thought he could beat my DH in a race, yeah right didn't happen! That was how it was going until now and this latest thing that happened shows me that they are trying to be bigger and better than us and that is really pi$$ing me off! DH has a truck that used to be his daily driver, well with gas prices on the rise, we saved 2,000 and bought him a beater car to drive back and forth to work. We figured it would last a year well it lasted 2 and he was ready for a new car. In that 2 years we got the truck paid off making us capable of taking on another small payment. He was going back and forth on another beater or a nicer car that he would have for a longer time. That back and forth stopped when he found the car he has always wanted! We have had it for about 2 months and P's hubby called him and was telling him about how he was looking for that type of car! :eek: Trying to tell my DH that he is finding newer cars with fewer miles than his for less money than we paid. My DH did his research and not to mention he is a car guy, he knows his stuff and knows P's hubby is full of CRAP. They just have to have everything bigger and better.

I need to get a massage! I don't need this crap in the 2WW!

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Iui #2 9dpo

I feel fine for the most part. Still have some strange twinges to the side, still almost like O pains. Strange huh? This morning I woke up with cold sweats. I was freezing cold laying in my nice warm bed, but I was soaking wet from sweating. I have no idea what that was all about, but I am still a little cold right now. I took a hot shower and thought I was fine at home, but I am cold now sitting at work.

I am 9DPO and know that it is still WAY to early to POAS and frankly I don't have the urge right now. I am going to hold off until Thursday, 12DPO.

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IUI #2 10dpo

Well it happened again last night, more cold sweats but I woke up afraid too. I have no idea what I was dreaming about, I only remember a little bit, but I remember being frightened when I woke up, and cold and sweating. I don't know why this is happening. I am not under any real stress, I mean TTC is stressful but that stress has been there for a year! On line it says to see a dr if it continues, but continues for how long? 3 nights, a week, or longer. I don't know of I can handle waking up that scared again.

I thought about POAS this morning for about 5 seconds and realized how crappy a BFN would be and decided against it. Hopefully I will hold off until Thursday. It is only 2 days I can wait!

Tonight is the last night of one of my classes! That means that #1 half the semester is over, #2 that I only have 2 classes left before I graduate, and #3 that spring is almost here!

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IUI #2 12dpo

BFN this morning. I think this cycle is a bust too. Oh well, I will test again on Saturday and stop the progesterone after that. I am just not feeling it. I am having some EWCM which is strange. I never have EWCM at O time and after O the progesterone gives me creamy CM. I am not sure what to make of it, but I am trying not to read much into anything these days. :shrug: I guess only time will tell. I will have to make an appointment with my RE for tuesday because I am out of clomid refills.

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IUI #2 - 13dpo

This week has been an odd sleeping week for me. I had cold sweats 2 nights in a row and the second night I woke up terrified. Last night I had a dream that I was with all my friends and knew they were my friends but none of them had faces. Their faces were all blurry and as I was waking up I heard someone say don't neglect your friends because of one.
I have to say that was strange to hear that in my dream because a really good friend from childhood found me on myspace. We have been writing back and forth all week and catching up on the last 15 years. I don't have many friends left from growing up. I was getting into a lot of trouble and made the choice to leave the situation and people that were bad influences on me. So most of my friends now are the wives of DH friends. I think the dream is telling me to not neglect the friends I have now for the one I have not talked to in years.
I did some research and I have found 2 different meanings of seeing faceless people. One says that the faceless person is god and the other says that I am still searching for my own identity and searching for who I am. I don't know which one to believe, but it was a memorable dream.

I also went to the RE today and he said I have a nice looking chart and I said too bad the pg test this morning was negative. He said that he has seen many women test at 13dpo and have it be negative then at 15dpo it is positive. He said to see what the weekend holds and we will take it from there. He likes how well I am responding to the clomid and said we will give this protocol 2 more times and if I still don't get pg we will give femara a try. He said that femara does not have the cm drying effect that clomid does and read about a study that had higher pg rates with femara over clomid. I love him, he always makes me feel okay and gives me hope that it will happen. I started spotting last night which is strange given the I am on the progesterone. I usually spot day 2 and start on day 3 so it is unusual for my cycle. And I still have the EWCM :shrug:

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IUI #2 14dpo

Well I think the witch found me this morning, even on the progesterone supps. I don't think it is full flow yet, but it is just a matter of time. On to #3, third time is the charm right?????

Another strange dream last night. I had a dream that DH and I were at my friends house, only it is not his current house, it was the house he grew up in. We were at a party and most of my childhood friends were there, including an ex boyfriend. :confused: The we flashed to a hospital and I was in labor but I was only 32 weeks pregnant. I was at the registration desk checking in and complaining that I was 32 weeks pg and have not had an u/s yet. I was demanding an u/s. I don't know what the heck my problem is, but I have had a strange sleeping week this week.

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Yep, the witch found me and she is MEAN this time. I bleed thru last night onto the bed. I have not done that since High School. I am hoping for a thir cycle is the charm this time around!

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Well I took my first clomid pill tonight, round 7 of clomid 3 of IUI. I hope that the third time is the charm, sadly with every round that goes by I lose more hope. I am so upset. I realized that I will not be making DH a father before his 30th birthday, and I only have 2 more cycles to have a baby before MY 30th birthday. I feel like time is ticking away and I am losing more hope by the day. I thought I was feeling pretty good about this but sadly I am not. :confused:

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Took my last pills this morning. If everything goes the same as last month I will get my U/S on Saturday and my IUI on Sunday, Easter Sunday. Kind of a nice day for an IUI, the resurrection of Christ and all. Hopefully I will have a little bit of an extra blessing this cycle. I was worried about the clinic not being open, but I just called and they said everything opperates as normal this weekend, just to make sure and call before 11 for my appointment times. No biggie, I will be up early and POAS excitedly!

I realized this weekend that I have not been a very good friend lately and that I get mad at people who don't know that we are TTC. For example, my pg friend that complains all the time. If she knew we were TTC she probably would not complain to me about it. It is a bit unfair of me to be mad at her for something she is sharing with her friend. I think I will have to call her and make sure she knows that she is a really good friend.

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OPK was, as expected, negative. I don't expect it until Saturday but you just never know. Fingers crossed! DH will be able to go with me as long as it happens on a weekend.

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IUI #3

I cannot believe I forgot to udate this yesterday after the U/S. I had 2 follies 34 on the left and 19 on the right. I am a little concerned about the 19 being too small and the 34 being to large. The Dr was concerned about the 34 being a cyst so he only gave me 1/2 of the trigger shot.

well I just got home. The nurse asked me if I was having any pain, I thought that was a strange question and said yes that my right side was a little sore. She said that is good because that is where the good 19mm follie was. I was happy to hear her reassurance. I truly believe that the pain has more to do with the person doing the IUI than with the actualy procedure. I had the same person this time as I did for my first and it hurt again. The cramping was horrible even after she was done. When she was inserting the catheter she could not get thru and I actually felt a pop when it finally wnet in. Kinds uncomfortable. The person who did #2 was wonderful, the catheter went right in and I had NO cramping and no spotting like I have now and with #1. I am hopeful that I get the extra luck/faith of today being easter and this is the first IUI that DH was able to be there for. He has had to work for the other 2 so I am hopeful that the timing was just bad and that having DH there will be good and give us the bfp out come we wish for.

For the numbers.
115 mil before the wash
109 mil after with 50% motility
so 51.5 mil were put used for the IUI with 20% being of the best quality.
This is by far his best sample and he said it was because of the vodka and monster he drank last night!

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Well I temped this morning, but it was WAY lower than any of my temps in my chart so I did not record it. I know that I Oed yesterday or Saturday based on the trigger shot I was given. I had a strange night sleeping last night so I think that contributed to the low temp. I woke up with out the covers on half of me and the cat was biting my head. He does that when I don't pay attention to him, usually it means he wants under the covers. I will just temp tomorrow and confirm O and stop temping. I was thinking of not taking the progesterone this time around, but I decided to use it as the RE has told me.

I did find out some interesting family history this weekend. I found out that my mom had endo and that is the reason she had to have a hysterectomy later in life. I asked her if it was something she had known about earlier in life, like during the child bearing age, and she said no, that it developed reapidly as she aged. She said the dr's feel it was likely that she had it all her life but that it got progressively worse as she aged and she decided to have a hysterectomy about 7 years ago. She started bleeding thinking it was her period in August and did not stop until after the hysterectomy 8 months later. I knew about the hysterectomy but not about the endo. From what I have found on-line I don't have any of the "symptoms" except that stupid infertility. I am wondering if this is something I should be concerned about and if I should bring it up to my RE. Mom has 3 kids and had one misscarriage. She did not have any problems conceiving us, my sister and I are 21 months apart and my brother was a total accident with my step dad before they were married. She conceived my sister and I in her early twenties and my brother in her thirties. I am 29 and wondering if this is causing my IF. If this cycle doesn't work then I am going to talk to my RE.

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I was given my cross hairs but FF but I don't think they are correct and I am a little nervous about my chart, but then when am I not. FF says that I Oed the day of my trigger shot, the day before the IUI. I don't think it is true but it is hard to argue with the temp jump. My right side was still hurting when I went in for my IUI. Maybe I had just Oed that morning and am worrying for nothing. I think I remember reading that it is best for an IUI to be done up to 36 hours before or 36 hours after O, so I should still be okay, Right? I have decided to stop temping for the rest of the cycle, I will be on progesterone any way and that will make me have a higher temp than if I was not on it. Plus I find myself waking up all night wondering if it is time to temp. The less stress the better, plus I already know that I Oed. I am only 3DPO and already freaking out! This is going to be a long 2WW!

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Iui #3 - 4dpo

Not much going on here. I had some cramping this morning and don't know why. I am going to start my progesterone tonight. That stuff is so expensive! It is almost 200.00 for a 15 day supply. I need to talk to my RE and see if there is something else he can give me that does not cost as much. I am trying to stay positive, but it is hard given everything I have already been thru. It will happen, I know it.

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IUI # 3 - 7dpo

Well I am down to the one week wait. Nothing new to report. I have had some strange cramping on the right side but nothing to write home about. That's about it, boring I know. If this cycle follows last then I should be having cold sweats and nightmares starting soon. I have been having some wicked dreams. One even involved my ex! :eek: I can remember them so well. :shrug: I gues only time will tell.....................

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IUI # 3 11 dpo

At least the night sweats and nightmares are not present this cycle. I am trying to stay distracted and it is pretty much working. I am baking and trying new recipes on the weekends. Last weekend I made marshmallow fluff stuffed cupcakes! They are yummy! I am trying my had at some baking some different breads this weekend along with some new dishes. We will see how it goes. I have never made bread, from scratch, outside the bread machine! I am thinking of testing tomorrow, at 12 dpo, but terrified of seeing a bfn. I have no "symptoms" either way, which could go either way.

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Iui #3 12 Dpo

I fell like all I do is complain in this journal, but I guess that is why it is here.

So I tested this morning and as I suspected, bfn! I am so tired of this, I don't know how much more disappointment I can put myself thru. I know that I am only 12dpo and some don't get their bfp till 14dpo, but I am just not feeling it.

My last appointment at the RE we decided to move on the Femara if the clomid did not work in 2 cycles. Well this was #1, but I am thinking of asking to move onto Femara now. I am having a hard time deciding if I should move on to Femara or give Clomid another shot. If I do the Clomid I would move onto 150mg (from 100mg), and either medication I take we will still do the IUI. DH always says what ever I want to do he is in for, just tell him when he needs to give his sample! ROFL what a guy.

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CD 1

Third time was not the charm and apparently Jeasus was busy being reserrected on Easter to give me some extra faith. No 2008 baby for me, af just came for a visit after seeing a bfn this morning. I am going to schedule an appointment with my RE on tuesday to start Femara. I figured since I have done 7 rounds of clomid, 3 with IUI, it is time to move on.
I am just so hurt and heartbroken over all this. I was really hopeful again, I need to stop fooling myself into thinking positive month after month. I just want to go to bed for the next cycle.

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Pity party for myself. I just feel so BLAH today. I have 2 dr appointments tomorrow. The RE at 9:30 to have a clomid check to make sure there are no cysts and a 10:15 at my family dr to get my foot checked out. I don't think I have told you about my foot. Well I was letting the dogs out one morning and I pivioted my right foot and felt a pop. The arch of my foot started hurting. No biggie probably just strained a muscle or something. That was probably about 2 weeks ago. Last week the bone on the top of my foot that goes to my big toe started hurting and my heel hurts like HELL. I can barely walk on it in the morning. I tried to get in last week but he was booked and could not fit me in. I have an appointment tomorrow right after the RE but I don't think I will be there on time. I have 45 minutes to meet with the RE and get to my next appointment that is about a 25 minute car ride. I tried to reschedule my family dr, but the next opening he had was on thursday. It is really impossible to see him.

I am hoping the RE will help reenergize me, I feel like giving up.

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The appointment was a little disappointing with the RE, he brought up IVF. Sad He said that he does not recommend doing more then 4 IUI's as the rate of pregnancy decreases after 4, but if I wanted to he would. He talked about injections but my insurance does not cover any of this and I am not sure I can afford that right now. He did give me femara to give a shot for this cycle. I am debating on whether I want to give it one more shot or just give myself a break. He also broght up doing a lap since my mom had endo. I have a lot to think about and talk about with DH. I usually have renewed hope after talking to him but now I just feel like a baby will not be in the cards for me right now.

The family dr was good, but I waited over an hour just for me to get called back then once back waited for an x-ray and to talk to the dr. After all that he told me that I have some torn tendons and ligaments and some swollen soft tissue, oh and a heel spur. I am going after work to get the gel inserts for my shoes and hope that it gets better. I like to walk and stand on my feet so I need to fix this issue quick! Oh and I need to lose like 30 pounds! I am quite the fat ass.

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Jim and I had a long talk last night, over a bottle of wine, and he is as upset as I am. He doesn't usually share his feelings so when he did last night I was a little suprised. We have decided to take a medication break and see what happens the next couple of months. If I am not pregnant then we will look into the lap. I am kinda pushing for the lap before any more IUI's or medication because I would like to know if I have endo or if something else is going on in there. My mom had pretty bad endo if she had to have a hysterectomy because of it. This will also give us time to pay off the current RE debt and save money for more possible cycles, whether we go with injectables or femara. I think we would move on to injectables because the RE said that would be our greatest odds of conceiving. I think I can get my insurance to cover the lap if the dr will say it is for endo, but I may have to go to my obgyn for that. I will still temp to O just to confirm it and will probably take OPK's just to know we are timing BDing right and of course we love teh pre-seed! We will see what the next couple months hold. It is going to be strange not popping pills! I am just going to take B6 and pre natals.

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Feeling pretty good, just waiting to O. I am still spotting so we have not started our BDing marathon, but we will. The OPK's are still negative so I am not too concerned yet. I think I may have to take an emotional break from all this. I joined the TTCFTFT board and made it my home. I seem to be one of the only ones left since I joined. I felt some really good friendships start to form and love the women on it, I just fell left behind.

My friend had her baby, but she is 5 weeks early. She is having a hard time breathing so she is on oxygen and hooked up to all kinds of machines. Her little lungs are not fully developed yet, but she is improving.

Today I feel Sad

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Here I am in my first 2WW in an un-medicated cycle in 8 months! :eek: I feel pretty good except for the stupid OKP's. I got a positive last Thursday in the morning and in the afternoon, then again friday morning, saturday morning, and sunday morning. I figured there is no possible way that I would get one today, and yet I did. I tested sunday afternoon and it was negative, but it was with the internet cheapies. There wasn't even a faint line but the mornings OPK with first response was a blaring positive. I took a pg test, just in case, but it was negative. I think I may have gotten a bad batch of first response. My temps indicate that I Oed already. I thought the morning of my higher temp would be low because we slept with the window open and was quite suprised when it was higher and stayed higher. Oh well, there is always something to worry about in the 2WW!!!!

My reading from Jenny Renny - Your reading reveals that your BFP news comes in May 2008 from a cycle that looks to start in April 2008. The baby shows as a boy and his EDD/birthdate is referenced the month of January 2009 - specific reference to the 24th and 29th.
Hopefully it will come true, but if I am pg this cycle my due date would be 1/8/09.

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Well here I am 7dpo and feeling pretty good, but come 10dpo (or god for bid I make it to 12dpo) I will be a total wreck! Not much going on, just in a huge argument with my parents. Not really "feeling" anything. I have been pretty bad at updating this, I will try to do better!

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11 dpo and I am not spotting!!!!! Yahoo Before clomid I was only getting 8 maybe 9 day LP's before the spotting started. I was given clomid because of low progesterone and to try to extend my LP. Didn't work, my progesterone increased but my LP stayed short. So my RE gave me progesterone supps to use after I to extend my LP, they worked but still no BFP. So we decided to take a medication break to think about our next steps. I am so excited about my longer LP that even if I don't get my BFP this time around at least I have that. I have promised DH that I wont test until 13dpo, if I make it without spotting. No real symptoms yet, my boobs have been a little sore in the evenings and I was tired at 5:00 yesterday, but I also got up early. :shrug: My temp went down yesterday and I thought for sure I was going to find spot when I went pee in the morning, but nope and my temp went back up today!!!! I don't know what any of it means, I am just excited about my LP.

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12dpo and so far still no spotting!!!!! Yahoo

I am proud of myself for not testing behind DH's back this morning, but I did promise him I wouldn't. He was so cute last night he told me he was going to hide all the tests, I keep them all in a drawer in the closet. I told him there is one hiding somewhere else, he rolled his eyes. Then he made me promise again that I would not test this morning, even made me say "I promise". It is wierd, in the mornings my boobs are okay, a little tender, but at night it is a whole nother story, and it is only the sides. I did not temp this morning, I did not want to take the chance of a low temp. Still no spotting today and if it stays away I am going to test tomorrow. I hope I have a really good update for you tomorrow!

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I found spot this morning, just a little, but there are cramps and it is only a matter of time before AF arrives. It is okay though, a 14 day LP is great for me and it is one step closer to that BFP. I Oed pretty early this cycle, cd12, and I usually don't O until cd14, maybe the egg wasn't fully developed yet. I am actually pretty optimistic about this which is a complete 180 for me. The small victories are reason to keep me positive and moving forward.

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Well, the witch found me but it is okay, I was expecting it. I am feeling pretty good, it is DH that is being negative. We were talking and he said he just doesn't think it will happen. :eek: Really? I am usually the negative nelly and here I am trying to stay positive and he is the negative nelly. I understand his feelings tho, after over a year of trying it is hard to imagine it will happen. I think, for him, I will give it a couple more tries (non medicated) then if it doesn't happen I will have a lap done and possibly and HSG. I am not a big fan of surgery, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I just gotta make sure it is covered by my insurance.

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Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Well I am cd11 so that means I am getting ready to O. DH and I will begin the marathon BDing tonight! Poor guy is working 7 days a week so he is really tired, but as I tell him, he just needs to suck it up!

On a sad note, I may have to put my dog to sleep. I have had him for 11 years and he is a great dog, for me. He was abused by my ex and has hated men ever since. One night, like 10 years ago, he was sleeping at my door as usual and my little brother (10 YRS) was staying the night. My brother got up in the middle of the night to pee and was walking down the hallway when my dog started growling and showing teeth. My brother yelled that it was him and he stopped. Well flash forward 10 years and DH and I are married and my dog STILL protects me. 3, yes THREE, times now DH has gotten up for work and came back into the room to say bye and my dog has growled and BIT him on his leg. That is right, he bit my DH three times. Then last night, one of our other dogs was walking by him to lay down in the room, because he still sleeps at the door, and he attacked her. She held her own and it ended with her pinning him down with her teeth around his neck, but that should have never happened. She nas not showed agression like that before and I am not 100% sure who was at fault, I was already in bed half asleep, but I know that my dog is getting more agressive the older he gets. My biggest worry is that my friend is coming to stay with us for a while and she is bringing her son. I don't want her son to get up in the middle of the night and get attacked by my dog. I can do anything I want without the fear of him doing anything to me. I pee every night and he has never even so much as growled at me, but I think the problem is he is "protecting" me. I am worried about his behavior and not sure what to do. He is older, 11, and has arthritis and liver problems, but is otherwise healthy. I just don't know what to do. Sad

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Okay, so before Clomid I was a faithful CD14 ovulator. On Clomid it varied from CD14-16, but mostly on CD15. Last month was my first month off clomid and I Oed on CD12 and this month I got my positive OPK today, again on CD12. I know that OPK's are supposed to tell you that you will O in the next 24-36 hours, but almost every time I get a positive OPK I O that day, strange I know but whatever. I am expecting to O today, tomorrow at the latest and I am still worried that it may be too early for Oing. I looked on line and from the limited amount of information I have read it sounds like Oing on CD12 is okay, but I will keep looking.

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Wow, long time no update. As I predicted I Oed on cd12 making me 9dpo today. A few days ago I started having wierd cramping in my lower abdomen. I don't know if I can say with confidence that it is my uterus, but it is low and painful. I don't know why exactaly, but it feels like my stomach or whatever it is, is trying to jump out of my body. I have also noticed that my boobs are tender too, but only on the outside and only when I push on them. I know they can be pg symptoms, but I have been at this far to long to lable them as such.

On a side note, I was asked to be one of the mods of the TTC for the first time board. Yahoo I am excited and fell special and like a loser all at the same time. I feel special that I was asked, but like a loser because I have been on the board long enough to be asked! Wink The announcement has not be made yet, but I am excited about it.

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Well here I am at 14dpo and I spotted all weekend. I tested this morning, even after spotting (I am gluten for punishment!), and it was a BFN, but it is okay. I don't know why but I am at peace with it. I am learning patience, it is hard but I am working on it. Next month we are not going to have good timing at all. AF is supposed to arrive soon, and since the past two months I have Oed on CD12 I will be out of town when I O next month. Sad We are just going to have to BD before I leave and when I get back and hope for the best. I am going to call my RE about doing the Lap and HSG. I need to make sure the lap is covered by insurance so I will go with the HSG first. I am still in the let it happen mood, but I would like to know if something is working against us.

I have a great friend, I don't deserve her forgiveness for the childish way I acted last time I saw her, but she forgave me anyway. In case you don't remember my friend had a baby and I could not bring myself to see her or hold her when we were at another friends house together. So anyway, they came over for a BBQ this weekend and she is the most adorable little girl I have ever seen. She looks just like her father, she even has his temper (at 2 months old!)

The announcement was made, I am a mod of the TTC for the first time board! :eek:

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

I am getting ready to O, but will be gone out of town for the next few days, without DH :(. How is that for timing. I look at it this way, we have had PERFECT timing for so long now, even 3 IUI's, and I have not gotten PG, maybe if we have bad timing..... I know I am reaching, but hey, what else have I got to think about all day. Maybe I will be so stressed out from flying (I HATE flying) that Oing will be delayed until I get back. We will see what happens (although I am not expecting much).

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

I am back and sunburned! I am happy to say that I don't think I Oed while I was gone like I thought I would. I did not take my OPK's or Temp while I was gone but I took it this morning and it was the same temp as last Thursday. I took an OPK today too and it is pretty close to being positive. Hopefully the stress from my trip delayed the O! I will have to jump DH tonight.

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

I went in last week for my annual exam and the first question my OB asked is where are we in getting pregnant. I said not far since I am not pg yet! This is the same Dr who REFUSED to believe that a 28 year old would have a problem getting pregnant. We have been trying for well over a year now and he still has the same "relax, it will happen" attitude. Then he tells me that I have gained 9 pounds in a year :eek: and says that maybe that is contributing to the problem. If I were to lose 10 -15 pounds it could greatly increase my chances of getting pg and I was shocked. 10 pounds puts me back to my weight last year when I was still having a problem getting pg! I know that I need to lose weight, I have actually gained 25 pounds since I started seeing him 4 years ago, but don't tell me that I need to get down to a weight that I was at last year when I was having fertility issues. :mad:

In other news, I am 5dpo and already anxious to test! I don't know why, I know better. I will wait it out, I hope I will wait it out anyways!

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

I am only 6dpo and I started spotting last night. It is a bit of an annoyance. It is brown (sorry TMI) not red, so I know that it is "odd blood" but it is still wierd to be spotting so early. This has been a crazy cycle so I should not be all that suprised. Oing later since I was out of town w/o DH, spotting for a long time before AF really started (I am still not sure I got CD1 correct). Just fustrating to go to the bathroom and see spotting! URGH!!!!!

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

I am trying not going to get my hopes up too much, but I did stop spotting.
As for my wacky temp, I took it at the normal time, but I did not sleep well that night and DH had the window open and when I woke up to take my temp my teeth were chattering I was so cold. So I don't think that my temp drop was accurate. This morning it is back above coverline, but not much. I do think I oed a day earlier than FF has me, but I am not 100% sure. All my other cycles I have Oed on the day of my positive OPK, but this month has me Oing the next day. I don't have any other "symptoms" really, I mean my boobs hurt on the sides when I touch them, but that has happened the past 2 cycles after O. I guess if I make it to 13dpo I will test.

ETA - If I increase my temp .1 degree it moves it to where I think it should be and puts all my temps above coverline! I think I will leave it since that is when I think I Oed.

ETA 2 - FF is telling me that my spotting is perfect timing for implantation.... but not to rely on it, it may just be midcycle spotting.

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Well, 13dpo and bfn. I am to sore today to be upset. We helped the in-laws move all weekend. It was funny, MIL has tons of childrens books and crafts (she used to run a day care type thing) and as we were loading these boxes in the truck, she said that she was keeping those for the next grandkids she has. I started laughing and said some day! She has been waiting paitently for us to have a baby, a grand kid she can see all the time, she has never pressed the issue but I think she is wondering when, I mean DH and I have been together for 9 years. DH brother has 3 kids (2 from his wife's first marriage and one with his wife) but they live in another state and don't get to see them much. I know she would like a grand kid that she could watch grow up and go to their games. I love watching her with our nephew, he is a handful to say the least and she is so patient and gentle with him that I know she will be an amazing grandparent to our children, it is just a matter of when.

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Well, long time no blog! Anyway, we totally missed O this month, did not DTD for a majority of the month! We were camping and I knew that the chances were pretty good that I would O and DH had a little too much to drink and well we all know how that goes, then the dog got sick and I was much more concerned about her. She is only about 25 pounds, skin and bones if you were to feel her, she stopped eating and the little bit that she did eat she either threw back up or had runny poop. Poor thing just looked miserable. We called the vet and put her on benadryl (she ate a bunch of bees) and pepcid. She seemed to be feeling better, she has been eating like a cow lately! So it is on to the next month and hopefully it will be a better month. I think next month we are going back to the RE.

rachelk28's picture
Joined: 07/03/07
Posts: 45

Holy AF, batman, 6 days and still here. It is light, but come on. If this keeps up I will still have AF while I am Oing! I am considering doing one more round of clomid before moving on to Femara. I have one more refill and have considered it. I am just tired of spending all this money to end up with nothing month after month. I am just tired of the emotional rollercoaster, I am just tired. I am about 15 pound hevier than I was when I started clomid and I have NO motivation to do anything about it. I think I am slipping into a depression because of all this. I would rather read a book than talk to DH, I would rather be alone in my bedroom while reading than in the living room with DH. I think I need to see a dr about this, probably not healthy.

Sorry, I am just rambling now.