AF showed today. I should have known it was coming given my hysterics of yesterday. I've been off bcp for 4 cycles and to be honest they haven't been that much different than when I've been on bcp but the cycles just keep getting shorter and shorter and my luteal phase is not quite what it should be. My body seems to be working its way toward some kind of rythym but what I'm not sure. I had just hoped that by now my body would have adjusted to being off bcp. Such is life. Yesterday, with obviously WAY too much time on my hands I started to fear I was peri-menopasal. I mean I had almost convinced myself that at 36 I was entering this stage in my life given the shorter and shorter cycles. I was totally hysterical with fear and suddenly I'm saying to myself "what is wrong with you" and then it hit me like a bolt from the sky. I'm premenstral. DUH. Wow, haven't felt that kind of emotional craziness PMS since before I went on the pills. So AF showed this morning and I actually have minor cramps. The AF's are still not quite what they should be tho they are getting longer which is more in line with my history.
I'm kinda bummed b'cuz dh is going out of town and we will miss my peak days this cycle unless by some miracle I should O on cd 8. But after the wedding, the move and all the work craziness I'm going to just enjoy this next month and hope that with this cycle my body will finally be adjusted. I'll still temp but thats about it.. hmm, I still wonder if I should try this Vitex I heard about. ... Does the moon have anything to do with a woman's cycle? I wonder.
DH and I have only been strategically ttc for 2 months now. He hates it when I announce that I've got EWCM and its time to BD. I think he feels a little used. I must be more discreet about that. I've been whining to DH about my dang luteal phase being deficient but he doesn't quite get what I'm talking about it. He just keeps saying "it'll happen".
I'm so impatient. I guess I just thought, okay I'm ready NOW so let me be pregnant NOW. But it doesn't always work that way. Well I guess its good that at least I'm ovulating. Thats something. Tho the quality of my O's seem sketchy to me...
thats enough for today..
baby dust and sticky vibes to all!