Now that I'm finally trying to conceive at the "advanced maternal age" of 37 its occured to me that I've probably been inconsiderate to a friend with all my questions of "when are you going to have a baby" over the years.. gosh, I wasn't even thinking.
I have 4 best girlfriends from high school. We all are 37 and turning 38 next year. One friend had her babies early at 23 and 27, another had her one and only at age 32. One has recently announced she does not want kids.. there is me, newly ttc, and another friend, married, divorced and now happily remarried for several years now. We have all been peppering her with questions as to when they are going to have kids. She has been extremely tight-lipped about it over the years.. we all kinda assumed she might not want kids.. which is fine of course if that is her choice but now after visiting preg.org these past few months and reading other people's stories its occured to me that maybe she and her husband are struggling to conceive. I hope thats not the case... Its just so hard to know, she won't open up about it at all...which is certainly her perogative of course.. I know she doesn't have a bunch of friends around her conceiving making it more difficult to talk about it.. I mean I know there are other variables but if her close friends were all having babies I could see why she might not say anything.. but she doesn't.... Well, I've realized that I need to stop asking her about it.. it must be hard.. whatever it is.. I mean none of us would care if she didn't want kids.. and would support her 100% if she did but was having difficulty.. well if I've learned anything from this site its that I should never assume that because a couple "appears" to be waiting that they actually are...and not to ask intrusive questions about "buns in the oven".. I've beginning to get some of those from friends/family.. Its midly amusing, but then again I've only been ttc for a few months now.. how's that gonna sound a year from now!
speaking of waiting.. I'm still waiting.. and waiting.. this 2ww just bites!
7dpo.. now begins the interesting stage of my luteal phase..
will I spot or not? last month I started spotting at 7dpo with the other months spotting began at 8dpo (and of course hoped desperately it was implantation)...
so far so good but we're just getting in to it....
I'm nervous.. every time I go to the bathroom I get nothing.. thats good.. but I know something is going on down there.. its either prepping for spotting and another short luteal phase and eventual AF or something else.. something else I hope! My temp did go up today.. which in and of itself means nothing.. but whatever it is or isn't its definitely different with the temps this cycle..
and I kinda think I'm getting a yeast infection.. whats up with that? I haven't had one since I was 21!..
Of course I want that BFP but if not then I just GOTTA have a normal luteal phase w/ no spotting before 10dpo.
Its 10 dpo and virtually no spotting!! this alone is something to celebrate!.. well just a smidgen late late yesterday evening and very early this morning. And for once it was truly a smidgen and nothing more -- so far. Last night I thought, oh here we go again, felt very depressed and was sure my temp would plummet some today but it went up a little this morning. I gave in to the urge to taking a hpt this morning and of course it was negative. **sigh** When will I ever learn? I don't know what to think. I realize that I've been using these less-than-normal cycles (at least the luteal part of it) as my "standard" by which to compare. So actually what I'm having now could very well just be returning to my "real" normal, higher temps and all. And not necessarily what I'm really hoping for!!! We are venturing in to litterally un*charted* territory here!
My colleage is making me very annoyed at the moment. Why do some people feel they have to bring into the office EACH and EVERY health issue they have out in the open, for all to hear and to participate in. Discretion please! I really can't stand it anymore. It doesn't help that she's a hypochondriac but thats another story. Geez.. ok, thats just my little vent for the morning.
My temp this morning didn't go up but it didn't go down either.. I thought for sure I would have seen that downward slide beginning today, especially with the light spotting and all.. but not yet.. and as far as I can tell the spotting has basically stopped.
One minute I'm dead certain AF is on the way and the next I dare to think.. maybe???? Naw, I'm pretty sure AF is coming.. I feel very pms'y..and I don't know, but I just don't feel anything at all.. except for bloated
Either way the truth will be revealed any day now.....
Well I had a 12 day luteal phase! Woohooo!!! Bummer it wasn't a nine-month long one but hey, I'll take it.. finally, finally after 5 cycles off bcp a relatively normal luteal phase..
I haven't been temping at all.. DH has the flu and confiscated my thermometer this past week..but I also think I've been temping like mad these past few months and it hasn't made one bit of difference in terms of ttc so why bother? I know that I'm O'ing and have the signs of impending O, cramps, ewcm etc.. We've been BD'ing on all the right days and NOTHING.. so I'm having a hard time seeing why I should really continue with the temping.. I don't know.. maybe I'll just temp between cd 10-15 and once I confirm O I'll stop..
ugh, dh's meds for his prostate are giving him retrograde ejaculation. Pisser! Now I gotta convince him to go off which will totally suck for him. secretly I've been thinking the meds might be a problem all along but couldn't convince him.. at least now he'll have to do something about it.. ain't no baby coming without those spermies! At least he concedes that! He's got an appointment with the doc in a week or so..
Well we are back to no spermies. But, oddly enough on 2 of the days during my fertile window when it MATTERED there were spermies..and lots of em'. How that happened is a total mystery to me. That is my only hope for this cycle.. all other bd days nothing, nada, nichts, zip, zilch not a one!
And on to the 2ww again, or in my case the 10-12 day wait, minus already being 3 dpo and we've got 9 more days of waiting.