AGHHH!!!! Those darn hot flashes are going to be the end of me! They are so much worse than last cycle.
Last time I had them for the last 2 days of my clomid pills. This time they started then, but are still here - 4 days later! and getting worse!
It's gotten so bad that they wake me up every hour or so all night long - because I'm so hot - then I can't go back to sleep after about 3 or 4 am. Needless to say I've got HUGE circles under my eyes - and I'm SOOO tired!
I asked the secretary at my school to find me a sub for tomorrow so I can get some sleep (hopefully! )
Also - tomorrow is my 29th birthday - so it will be a nice present to myself to take a day off of work. I just wish it was because of fun- not because I'm exhausted.
Well, I'm meeting a potential doula client today for coffee and an interview. If she hires me - she will be my 4th birth. The only thing that I'm kinda worried about is that she is due on my old EDD. March 20. I think I'll be fine with it - especially if I get a BFP before then! Also - the biggest I'll be is 5-6 months along - which should still work out fine to assist her in labor. I definately wouldn't do it if I was further along than that!
AHHHH, I had a great day skipping out on work. Although I didn't get any better sleep last night - I could at least lay in bed till almost 10, and I took a nap today too. I feel a bit more like I caught up on missed sleep.
I think the hot flashes are getting a bit better though. I was having them about once an hour - which is why I wasn't sleeping. But today they seem more like once every 2-3 hours. I really hope they start tapering off soon. I'm supposed to start temping again regularly beginning tomorrow.
I planned on taking cd1-11 off of temping, then temping and OPKing till after O is confirmed on FF, then temping sometimes after that during the 2ww. But I'll have a u/s 8dpo with progesterone check. I hope I O 2 eggs again this cycle - and have high progesterone again too. I think it gives me the best chance of at least one of them sticking.
Oh, I was reading today that Vitamin E really helps with implantation and placental attachement. I think I'll have to start taking it. The recommendations from the book I was reading was 500iu per day for the whole 2ww and one more week. I thought it was funny that they said not to take it longer than 3 weeks - because it can cause the placenta to get too stuck and may cause problems with it detaching normally at birth.
I went to the dollar store yesterday to pick up some tin foil and some other stuff, and they had the cutest photo books. I bought 2 -one for my mom and one for MIL - so I can give them to them one day when I get a BFP. It has blue, green and yellow strips on it and is 3x5 and is a soft cover so it is easy to stick in your purse.
I hope I o sooner this month. Last cycle I didnt' O till cd18. I'm hoping for 15 or 16... I just want to be pregnant -and waiting the extra 3 or 4 days seems like torture!
Okay, I feel lazy. I took yesterday off - with the goal of catching up on sleep, and hopefully getting some painting done.
I slept in till about 9:30, and then was lazy - doing nothing till 12:45 when I had to drive DH to the dentist.
When I came home, I took a load of trash to the dump, and took a nap. So much for getting painting done. I have to get the crib painted soon... because I only have about 5 more days till O time - and if I don't paint it before then, I'll have to pay someone to paint it since DH can't due to his asthma.
anyway, yesterday was my 29th birthday, and I'm so glad I stayed home. I feel like I got to rest up and no one called or tried to surpise me. I don't celebrate birthdays, so that was great!
My dad called the day before my birthday to say Hi,and my mom left a message on the phone to say happy birthday - but I wasn't home.
I'm anxiously awaiting to hear from the doula client I interviewed with. She said she would contact me today to tell me if she will be hiring me. I really hope so. I love doing it so much - and If things go well with this cycle, I won't be able to do many more after her EDD. She is due 6 days after my old EDD - and though some people may think that difficult - I think I'll find it comforting to know that someone got their March baby - and hopefully I'll get a July one!
I will be starting OPK's and temping tomorrow.
Oh, and I SLEPT last night!!!
I only had 2 hot flashes all night - so I actually got some sleep. I feel so much better today!
Tomorrow i'm supposed to sell the baby slings and clothing that I make - but It's going to rain, so I probably wont' go since It's outside. DH works for the vegetable farmer who has a booth next to mine, and he is expecting DH there, but I think I'll call the farmer tonight just to make sure . I don't want to get up at 5am if I don't have to .
Well, it's the weekend. It's been very rainy and kinda cold too. That means I didn't have to wake up at 5am yesterday to sell at the farmer's market. I'm really glad about that since I wasnt' in the mood anyway.
Went to the library and got a few books. One is a book on crockpot recipes - and I have been meaning to use mine more. Maybe if I get good at it, it will help me one day when we do have a child - then dinner will be ready without spending too much time in the kitchen.
I also have something silly to admit. I opened at thingsiwant.com account - and am making a list of great things for baby. I have it as a private list for now - just in case someone from my family comes across it in a google search or something - they wouldn't be able to open it and get the wrong idea. It was really fun though - I found some great wooden toys, cloth diapers and other fun stuff.
I also got a call from my sister yesterday to wish me a happy birthday. I ended up telling her that I took my b-day off of work to sleep because I was so tired. i also told her about the m/c and the clomid that was causing it all. so she is the only person besides dh that knows about this.
Now I have a few more days before O. I'm guessing 5 or so, but it would be great if it happened a few days earlier!
The OPK was darker today - but still definately negative. My microscope was the same - nada.
Yes, I finally started it - I sanded the crib parts and put primer on everything except the sides where the bars are. I ran out of primer. So I'll have to pick up another can of primer spray paint to finish that.
I hope to get a coat of paint on it when I get home from work - since it's supposed to rain again this week, and I'd rather not do the painting in my basement. It looks good white. The crib is like a normal crib, but with 2 drawers under it, and a set of 3 drawers attached to the side. The drawers are huge - and the drawers that go on the side is high enough to use as a changing table.
I'm starting to feel O pain - which I felt for about 3-4 days last cycle before I actually got a positive OPK. It's weird too that last time I O'd 3 eggs. One small one from the right, and two big ones on the left. My left ovary is the more uncomfortable one again this time. Maybe I'm just a leftie?
All the students in my class are getting sick now that the weather is changing. I really hope I don't get it. It's mostly that nasty cough - but mumps and scabies is in the school too - so I've been washing so much my hands are chapped. The last thing I need is to get some nasty virus when I do get pregnant!
Okay, It's Tuesday - I'm excited that I'm getting closer to O time.
My ovaries are SORE today! I feel like I have pants on that are too tight - bu only on those two spots of my tummy. It's been alternating between left and right. I'm kinda thinking I'll O from both again this time.
I also used an OPK again today. It was much darker than yesterday. I wrote it in as positive because the line was the same color as the control line - on part of it. I went to POAS.com and saw that if the entire width of the line isn't as dark - but part of it was - that it still counts. I'll have to see what the OPK shows tomorrow. I might use another one when I get home from work - just in case.
I don't think I O'd yet though as my ovaries still hurt and my temp isn't up. We got out the preseed yesterday and will use it till FF confirms O. I didn't have a place to put it on my chart - so I put it in as "other meds" and there is an x on the chart now. I really want this to work. But I also have this feeling that it will never happen. I just get so nervous!
Last night I painted more of the crib. It's starting to look nice. All of it has primer on it now- and a few pieces have real paint. I think I should be able to finish it by Thursday.
I'm a bit nervous about this cycle now. I know that I have to go back to the RE to have my ovaries checked again at 7-8dpo, and that doesn't bother me much. What get me is the blood tests. I have tiny veins and it always hurts. Then the waiting for the numbers to come back is so nerve wracking!
I hope this one goes smoothly - I either want an obvious negative and AF or an obvious positive that doesn't start bleeding - and has great HCG's.
Yay! I o'd last night late... I had a neg. OPK, then the yesterday a positive, and today negative again... I only ever get short LH surges - so that's normal for me. My ovaries finally stopped hurting in the middle of the night last night - so I"m thinking that is when it happened.
We have been BDing for the last 3 days with preseed, so I hope I caught the egg this month. We will BD again today when I get home from work, just in case. My temp was up this morning, so I think this was it.
Here's hoping that I get a good 2ww in and I get a long cycle - about 9 months or so... I'll temp for a few more days just to make sure the O is real, then I'll stop temping for a while again. I have my CD21 bloodwork and u/s to check the ovaries next thursday. I hope it looks goood again this cycle and there are no surprises.
Well, It's been a few days since I wrote last. NOthing exciting has happened, and life has just gone on as usual.
I did o - which is good. We BD'd the day before, the day of, and the day after - all with preseed. I really hope we caught it!
I don't feel any different than usual - with the exception of a TON of creamy cm today (5dpo) - that and on 3 dpo I had O-like cramping. So who knows?
I never got finished spray-painting the crib pieces though. I did about 1/3 of of it completly finished, but the other 2/3 needs one more coat. So now I can't paint it unless I get a mask or something since it's the 2ww and all.
I'm getting a bit nervous too. IF I get a BFP this month - it will be bittersweet - I will worry constantly about the prospects of keeping it since I lost the last one, AND it's not going to be ideal timing for my job situation. I teach, so I don't get maternity leave, but I can use sick days to get "paid" for my time off. I know that I need to take my BFP when it comes (and I'll do it happily) but I keep wishing the situation was different so I could use my sick time till the end of the school year, then have the summer off, or have the summer off with the baby ,and then use my sick time for the first month of school. As it is, I'd be due 5 weeks before school starts. So I'll have to use up ALL of my sick days to stay home till week 8 - then I'll have to see what I can do. I can always take the 12 weeks of FMLA time, but that would be w/o $, and DH doesn't get a paycheck as he is a SAHH. I'm very comfortable with him being the SAHD, and me working my 7 1/4 hours a day with summers and holidays off, but I feel somewhat sad about it all because I want to BF as long as possible, and that will be SO hard if I have to return to work too soon.
Okay, enough worry for one day.
*I do have some good news though: I was selling the baby stuff I make today at the Saturday market and it was one hour before the market closed and I had only sold $30 worth of stuff. Then in the last 45 minutes, I sold 4 baby slings, and 2 outfits. I couldn't believe that I actually sold that much. I'm so happy to have more $ to put into our baby fund!
I think its mostly because I'm trying not to obsess or be anxious this cycle. And I thought it would help to not write so much. I think it did help.
But honestly there isn't much to obsess about. I'm 10 dpo - and I did test this morning, but didn't mark it on my chart. It was neg. I figured it would be, but I knew I wouldnt' get a chance to do it tomorrow because I have to work so early.
I have no symptoms, no sore breasts, no nothin.... The only things that I have noticed are not pregnancy symptoms: thirsty all the time (due to sinuses/allergies), Having to get up to pee during the night (because I keep forgetting to take my vitamins with dinner and i end up guzzling a huge glass of water right before bed), and some crampy feelings in my tummy - but it's all over my tummy - so I"m sure it gas or whatever.
I am feeling a bit of a self-pity party, just because I've wanted this so bad for so long. I've seriously wanted a baby since I was 18, and now that I'm 29, that's 11 years that I've secretly wished for a baby. Of course most of that time I was on BCP's and was just hoping to be in that .4% that get pregnant anyway... then I was sick once we got married, and for the last 2 years I've been off the pill, I still can't get a normal cycle going.
I just wish I had more answers that my RE can't give me. He gave me clomid because my progesterone was a bit low, and my LP was short (9). He assumed that I had an LPD, but with the clomid - my progesterone skyrocketed - which was great - but now he thinks that because of that - I don't have LPD. I know that my other hormones can play a big part in getting pregnant - but they are in the right ranges, so I'm stumped.
Oh - and another mystery: For my whole life I have had SERIOUSLY sore breasts before AF every time. Even on BCP's and the whole 2 years I've been off them I still have gotten it. But my last 2 clomid cycles - not one twinge of soreness. At least if I get sore boobs I think I at least have ONE symptom - but nope, nada.
I have to wake up an hour early tomorrow to work at the market - so I don't know how reliable my temps will be - and I won't POAS. I figure I'll test again on Sunday.
The only good news I see for the day is that I have a $100 gift certificate to spend today at the SPCA flea market. I paid $30 for it at a silent auction - and am really excited. I hope to get a nice antique rocking chair for my future nursery someday - and maybe some more great things. Last year I got a brand new baby bath for $2.
Gotta go clean the pet rat's cage, Have a great weekend all!
Well, not hopeful at all. My temp was way down today - although I did temp an hour early, it shouldn't have been that low. Also I think I saw some pink CM yesterday once.
I still have no pregnancy symptoms - so I'm going to call this month a bust too.
At this point I don't think I'll test tomorrow. I tested today - neg. and I think I'll wait till 13 dpo, maybe even 14dpo - since AF came at 13 last cycle. Although I think the kits might be calling my name to POAS, but I'll see how I feel tomorrow when I get up. I have a feeling I will be feeling AF.
Anyhow, it just makes me downright sad. I feel like this is all taking forever - that and that my life is going by so quickly - and if I don't get pregnant tomorrow I'll be 60! I know that's exaggerating, but I just feel like it will never happen.
I also know that when AF comes I'll have to make a desicion quickly as to whether or not I'll go back on the clomid. I think I might not, and see if the RE can just give me some progesterone to take after O. The hot flashes kept me from sleeping for SO long that I don't think I can do it again.
Feeling blue - and since I got up so early - I'm off to take a nap and wait for that ugly witch to ring the door bell. I don't plan on answering, but she tends to sneak in anyway.