1 day to go to my blood test!
According to the doctor AF should have come yesterday if I was not pregnant.
Not taking too much into account though cos I know the progesterone supps could delay af too.
still unsure what the outcome is going to be.
today is going to be a tough one to get through. Tomorrow, even harder!!!
I had some bleeding last night. well it was more browny coloured spotting. cramping was first.
Last night both the cramping and spotting stopped.
So I ams till getting my blood test this morning. I guess the results are a 50-50 chance!
well I am on my way to my blood test. but I knew I spoke too soon. I have started lightly cramping and spotting again. the blood is more reddy now than brown!
I am sure the test is just a formality!
Okay I got the blood test results back.
HCG was 47. so I am pregnant. But they like to see about 100 at this stage so at the moment its touch and go. Especially with the bleeding/spotting. The blood is not bright red. its half way between murky brown and dark red and there have been mucky looking clotty things mixed in. Nurse says it sounds like old blood but with the cramping. She said I could be miscarrying.
She also said on a posative note that I acheived a pregnancy. Even if it may not last. she said I will eventually have a full term pregnancy and a sticky baby even if its not this one. She said my embryo must have been a good one!
So repeat blood test on monday to see if numbers are going the right way. Then I can relax a little.
I am going to my naturopath in a bit to get some anti miscarriage drops
second blood test showed a Beta HCG level of 76. it went up but it should have at least tripled in 3 days. I should miscarry this week
I was going to take a break from Preg.org but I have decided I will still be around on the TTC boards.
The thing is Pulling myself down into a deep depression is not going to help anyone, especially not me!! Again my desire and knowlege that I will be a Mummy one day is going to be the thing that keeps me going.
We will be heading into another cycle as soon as I start bleeding. So I will really need my support network! I certainly dont think I could make it without the pregnancy.org girls!!!
Martin has been fantastic! I think he was sad but like me, spured on by the fact that IVF worked for us first time and that is usually never the case!
I think the thing that makes everything so difficult is that as I sit here I feel pregnant! I know its cos I still am pregnant(technically) and this could go on for days. I am going to do a HPT on wednesday and friday just to see if I keep registering BFP's. I have not done any yet but my level was 76 yesterday so i would registed on a HPT. so if they dissappear or fade I would know my levels are decreasing. I think I would rather know what to expect when I have the blood test on friday.
I have been doing some research and I know there is a slight chance that my levels could increase more and start to get normal but with my history I am highly doubting that will happen.
This can happen if you are pregnant with twins but as I only had one embryo put in and there was absolutley no chance of a missed follicle which could have ovulated and fertilised(but there was absolutely no BD over that time) pregnancy that way is out of the question! which would mean twins were out of the question.
Anyway I am feeling much better mentally today than I was yesterday......for it all to happen again is beyond my comprehension. I just cant beleive I will be going through my 6th miscarriage. the last 3 I had I was expecting to, so I hardened myself to it and with the doctors confidence's of IVF is your only chance of staying pregnant when you get pregnant I was a little more confident about it all and that is why I let down my defences! I knew I should not have.
The only thing that could be my saving grace is that the bleeding and bad cramping I had stopped on sunday morning and I have not spotted or cramped since then. Maybe this will mean my numbers could rise. I would say there is only a 2% possability of that happening and I am certainly NOT pinning all hope on it. I guess I will really know what is going on on friday when I have the next blood test.
So I will be either wanting my numbers to have sky rocketed to a normal level or that I have started bleeding and my numbers are zero so I can get started on my next IVF cycle.
Just for the record I did a HPT today this was NOT with FMU it was about pee # 5 for the morning! at 12noon!
I will do another perhaps thursday and compare!
I have my blood test friday
Well I started bleeding this morning.
Again, EXACTLY when I would have been 5 weeks pregnant or 3 weeks past ovulation.
They have to try and do something about it now. even on the IVF my pregnancy stopped at exactly 5 weeks just like the last 5 pregnacies!
What on earth could be causing this???
Anyway. Im past crying over it. what I am crying about is how many more IVF's am I going to have to do, before they beleive me? Are all pregnancies I have going to fail at 5 weeks? Am I never going to be able to carry a full termp pregnancy?
I cant really afford to keep trying cycle after cycle, especially on IVF!
I wish I knew what was going on with me.
Every time I say the spotting has started It stops and every time I say it stops it starts. At the moment I am not spotting at all. my boobs are still sore but I dont 'feel' pregnant but I have not really 'felt' pregnant this cycle at all!
I have my BT tomorrow. I guess I will see whats going on then!
blood test in a few hours.
This waiting thing sucks. you would think that I would be good at waiting now. I have been waiting for 8 years 10 months
yesterday my beta had gone down. But only to 58 so this could take a while. I just want to get on to the new cycle!!