My TTC#1 Nightmare 127 mth(10.8 year) 10 m/c TTC Again!!

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My TTC#1 Nightmare 127 mth(10.8 year) 10 m/c TTC Again!!

THIS
IS
MY
JOURNAL

144 MONTHS

Cazz

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My Husband and I have been Trying to Conceive for EIGHT Years ONE month now

I knew I had female problems.....a lack of a period for one....since going off the pill at age 18. But still I never thought I would have trouble getting pregnant. I was so naieve and had no idea about anything

For the first 3 or so years I was like okay it will happen when it happens. not that we were really Trying but we weren't preventing either
By year 4 I was like okay there is definatley something wrong and went and saw my first doctor who promptly told me that I was(at 95kgs) "too fat to get pregnant and to go away and lose some weight"

After that visit I did not go see another doctor for a year.

By year 5 I was desperate so I made an appt with a womens clinic and after waiting 4 months to get in I finally saw a GP who listened to me and was very shocked by the way I had been treated...at this point I had not had a period for 7 years...As it turned out there was also a fertilty expert working at the clinic on that morning and she went and consulted with him and he was appauled at the way I had been treated as well and took me on strait away.
That being said I have been with him now for 2.5 years
I didn't ovulate on my own so therefore couldn't get pregnant

The first thing he did was blood tests....with one blood test he worked out my first problem, a high prolactin level, and put me on medication for it ......But although it fixed the problem it still did not make me ovulate.
So after several months I was given more tests. they found nothing else really other than I didnt ovulate.

I joined the TTC7+ board which was amazing.
I found out that I was not alone and I learn so much about conception and the factors needed to conceive. I had been so naieve about my own body that I felt so stupid for just thinking that when I wanted to get pregnant I would.

I was, in April 2003, put on a medication called Metformin. And after 18 days I ovulated on my own for the first time since I went on the pill at 14(which was for pain resons not contraception)
It did not result in a pregnancy but it did give me some hope that It might happen one day.

By this time I had been charting my Basel Body Temperature for several months so I was now able to follow my cycles as real cycles, I could see when I ovulated and was able to learn so much about my own body.
I also suspected that I had a Luteal Phase Defect(LPD) but could not convince my doctor as I had only had two cycles when I saw him next after starting the metformin. My luteal Phase(LP) was only 9 days
I was then placed on gonadotrophin injections...or ovulation induction.

For me the first two cycles on the injections did not go too well. I ovulated but my progesterone was really low(19 and 12) which meant I did not ovulate too well.
My third cycle on the injections went really incredibly well. From about 6 Days Past Ovulation(DPO) I KNEW I was pregnant. My progesterone was 32. I had the booster and it went up in four days to 72. so I did not get another booster.
I felt different, I had symptoms and at 10 DPO I did a home pregnancy test and it was posative. I did another at 11DPO and again at 12 and 13DPO and they were all posative. The afternoon of 13DPO I had an early miscarriage. I was devastated. In the end I think it was the fact I did not get that second booster shot and the LP problem

I went strait into another cycle and had an even better progesterone result of 66. I had started to feel the same things I had felt the previous cycle but because I had no booster shots at all, my period came at 10DPO. Which again gave me a LP of 9 days...that made my suspicion greater but still my doctor did not listen but my ovulation induction nurse kind of did and conceded to let me have both boosters even if my progesterone was quite high.
The last cycle on the injections I had a first progesterone of 33 and then 3 days later it was up to 58 but I just did not feel pregnant. so I was expecting my period and it came right on schedule.

I had to take a break from the injections because as much as they take out of you physically and emotionally they are also expensive at about $600 a cycle including all the medications you have to buy. Plus I was still on the metformin and the medication for my prolactin as well as prenatal vitamins. I rattled and sloshed for a long time.

I went to see a naturopath and in one cycle she lengthened my LP from 9 day to 14, my second cycle with her my LP was 17 days and my third cycle with her was so good I went back on the injections this time with IUI.

I managed to get pregnant but sadly miscarried at 5 weeks. I was not pregnant for very long but I loved that baby so feircely and it absolutely devastated me to not be pregnant any more. I sunk into a nightmarish fit of depression and not even coming to these baords couild help.
I stupidly went strait into another injections/ IUI cycle and when that failed went again into a third again without success.
Financial, mental and physical reasons meant we had to stop the treatments again and we dont know if we will ever be going back to them or even on to IVF as we are so financially drained and IVF as everyone knows is very expensive. I just need to win the lotto I think.

I want a baby so badly and I have been actively trying for over eight years. every time I see a new baby or a pregnant woman, or another BFP that is not mine I feel a little twinge. I am not the type of person who thinks that because I havent gotten pregnant that no one else should......... but I do have myself a pity party occasionally

I often wonder why me? I don't drink, dont smoke, eat a healthy diet, I dont drink anything with caffieine etc so why is it hard for me when I am doing everything right?

This whole process has been really difficult for my husband and I emotionally and physically, monetarily and even in the bedroom department. But we are still together and I am hoping that one day we will finally experience the joys of a pregnancy and parenthood

I would adopt in an instant but there are no babies here in Australia and not too many older children either.
i would adopt internationally too but it is so darn expensive we cant afford it.
Sometimes I find myself daydreaming that somone I know knows someone who is pregnant but cant keep the baby and we arrange a privat adoption.............far fetched I know but i just wnat a baby so darn badly I would do almost anything to have one.

i would love to go see my naturopath again I am well overdue for another appt but as money is so tight it could be a long while before that happens.

So much has happened with us this year................and I know that I am not the only one in the world going through stuff. But we really would just love for this year to be over so we can start fresh

As for my cyles.
Well since the injections finished I have gotten AF quite regularly very regularly in fact considering how they were before treatments.
unfortunately I dont know when I O
I have not been chartin very much and am trying to get back into it. I must try harder. but when I was on the injections I could feel O pains really badly when they were good Ovulations but whenever I have O'd off the injections i have only been able to tell through temping.

i have no idea why this may be and perhaps that is why we cant just get pregnant on our own. perhaps someone out there will have the answer.

thats about it for now

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Ugh. saw my stupid doctor yesterday and he basically wants to go back to the start and see if I am really ovulating on my own.
I am going to start charting fully again but I am pretty sure I am ovulating.....maybe not well but I am doing it.

It sucks that he has basically put a stop to anything further......I thought he would bring up IVF but he didnt. not that we could financially do it but I would have like to have heard him say it.

more than likely going ot go back to naturopath and see how much she can do for me now.

Cazz

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CD 2 today. yesterday I thought I was dying. the pains were so darn bad. every period I get seems to get worse and worse ont he pain scale. and lasts for longer and longer.
i tried discussing this with my doctor on tuesday and all he said was
"yeah that can happen"
I really am going to see a new doctor in the new year as I have just about had enough!!!

I have also started charting again. I just hope I can keep it up.

Cazz

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OKay so for the last couple of weeks I have been on this Maca stuff(under observation of my naturopath) and I cant beleive how my AF went. usually I have maybe 1 or 20 days of full bleeding. then 3 - 4 days of spotting which is sometimes broken up with a day of no bleeding or spotting
This time I had that really bad pain on friday followed by the arrival of AF and then FOUR FULL DAYS of bleeding and then 1 day of spotting.

I am hoping that this means that my cycles are going to become a lot more normal and possibly increase my chance of getting pregnant without injections or insemination.

I am having a couple of twinges today on my left side which is usually the side that I ovulate on. perhaps I am going to ovulate early!!
I am going to totally cover my bases this cycle

charting is going well so far and I have not forgotten.

I guess as always this is a wait and see game!!!!

Cazz

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Well its CD13 and last night I suddenly got this bad bad pain on my right side. Its still going now and sometime the pain shoots down my leg. now I dont know if this is O pains or some kind of injury. I keep taking my temp every morning so I guess I will see in the next couple of days if it is!!!!
I am still goin on this maca stuff so if I O like this on the Maca I will definatley keep taking it

Whenever I have ovulated on Injectable meds I always have had ovulation pain. when I ovulate on no meds I get no ovulation pain. still trying to find someone who will explain why to me.

I also got myself a female budda necklace which coincidently I put on yesterday afternoon just before the pain started.
Apparantly she brings general healthy and wellness but also aids in conceiving.
I know someone who has been TTC for 3 years with no luck at all she gets a female budda and within one month is pregnant. she is now 8 weeks.
I am willing to try just about anything

Cazz

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This is just about killing me.
I think I am almost ready to give up TTC altogether.
I cant handle it any more. the stress and dissapointment alone is almost unbearable. I just want one thing in this whole world and its the one thing I will probably never have.
Unfortunatley there wont be anyone dropping a baby off through the postal service any time soon.
I am Sad and depressed and I can hardly take it any more.
I hate seeing pregnant women. I hate seeing babies. I hate seeing children.
I especially hate seeing parents walking around saying to their kids "Oh I wish I had never had you!!!!!"(copped that one in a shopping centre the other day and had to hold every horrible word inside me for that woman cos I know it was more out of frustration or at least I hope it was.)

I was told the other day...."Well at least you know you got pregnant".............I thought that too at the beginning. But now I wish I had never gotten pregnant in the first place. its even more hearbreaking to have to give up.

The thing is I would quite happily never get pregnant again. Its not the pregnancy I want.......its the live healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy I am desperate for.

thanks for listenng
Cazz

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Pregnant!!!!!!!

Or I was.
I got a BFP yesterday clear as day but I had suspected it for a few days.
for starters
I could not stand the smell of Martin...just like last time
I felt the implantation cramping and new that was what it was
I went right of cereal........just like last time
I took to gulping down milk..........just like last time
I was tired as....just like last time
the one thing that was different was that on thursday I put on my bra and my boobs could hardly fit :shock: if it was a new bra I would have been like ........okay....... but this bra was 2 years old and washed many many times.
took the test yesterday at 10DPO and BFP appeared strait away. 5am today woke up in crampy hell of pain and bleeding everywhere. So again its over before it began.

On the posative side I got pregnant on my own.....perhaps with the help of my new female buddha necklace. no metformin and only on my prolactin meds.

this cycle I am going to be stopping my prolactin meds as soon as I ovulate and see if that could make any difference.

I am sad. I never told martin I was waiting to have a blood test on monday before telling him and now I am glad I didnt.

I have a feeling that all would have been well had I ovulated a few days earlier(I O'd on CD20) so I am going to hope and pray that I O a little sooner this cycle.

Cazz

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Well I am on CD5 now and we have decided since the unexpected pregnancy and subsequent m/c that maybe we are not meant to give up TTC just yet.
So we are going to go for it with a renewed vigour this cycle.

I am now on vitex as well as the Maca and I am also on the Robitussin to try and help my EWCM. I am drinking 2 litres of water a day as well as trying to gulp down horrible green tea for the same reason. lol

We are trying to do as much as possible to get me to ovulate earlier. Hopefully CD14 and hopefully pregnant with and October baby!!!!!

wish me luck...............am sure going to need it

Cazz

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Cancelled my doc completely and stayign with my naturopath

Cant stand my doctor any more. the thought of going back to see him again today turned my stomach.
Every time I visit him I end up in tears and never very far from where I began.
I went to the naturopath who is so fantastic and helpful and she loves my charts!!!
She confirmed my pregnancy from my chart and said my doc was mad...lol
she said my chart was triphasic too which looking at it no I can see.
She also confirmed what I already knew......

that the readon this baby did not stick was the fact I Ovulated at CD20. I knew this and told her that that is why I thought I m/c and she told me I was very smart and knew entirely too much about TTC...........lol

She has put me on a herbal tonic of stuff including vitex and other stuff including progesterone. We are hoping to bring my ovulation back to CD14 - CD16 to ensure that if......NO WHEN I get pregnant again that it will stick and I will hopefully stay pregnant. she also has stuff in that tonic that will help prevent m/c

I am so excited and instead of leaving the doctors office frustrated and in tears I left feeling happy and calm and feeling like I am on track with TTC again!!!

I am for the first time in a long time very happy!!!

much love and happy days to everyone

Cazz

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OMG I cant beleive the taste of this herbal medicine I am drinking. It makes me want to throw up every time I drink it. In fact I am writing this and putting off taking tonights dose lol.
Its horrible. I told somone once that I would drink liquified dog poop if it would help me get pregnant and this stuff makes me wish i was drinking liquified dog poop................ its that bad.

ugh!!!

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OMG!!!

I have had O pain for days and days and then yesterday my lowest temp and now today my temp shot up and no more pain.
We are going to keep covering it just in case but If I have O'd CD11 I am going to be screaming for JOY.....you guys will hear me all the way from Australia

here is the link to my chart

www.fertilityfriend.com/home/26bc0

Cazz

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hmm the old chart is looking freaky. never had a chart like it before

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After the last m/c I could not post here any more. It is just so heartbreaking.
Anyway I thought I had better do so again
1 beacuse I am a moderator and two cos I am still TTC

Actually am 15DPO today so i guess I will know if Its third time in a row for BFP's and third time lucky for a sticky pregnancy!!

Cazz

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Hi Caroline,
Stumbled across your journal and was so moved by your story that I wanted to post and send you my very best wishes & prayers for a successful outcome. Secondly, I am also from VIC Australia (but living overseas).

I just found this website today after confirming my 1st pregnancy so don't yet know much about it or the members.

Keep smiling, won't you.

Leisa :butterfly:

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Thanks!!

Well for me Im 16DPO today and temps are still up there!!!

I just want everything to work out okay this time if I am pg

Cazz

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Well It turns out I was pregnant again but once again lost the baby at 5 weeks
Anyway I think I O'd today.
I really really need to start updating my journal more often.
Especially as the host of this board!!

C

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Cazzoom,
I've been a lurker on these boards for some time now, but after reading through your journal today, I just wanted to say to you KEEP IT UP! You are an encouragment to us all who are having trouble ttc. I have never known of anyone who has been presented with so much heartache like you have, but you are so positive about trying again that it makes me excited to try "harder" next month. I hope you get your BFP and a STICKY baby this month. I've never m/c but my dh and I are ttc so I know how frustrating it can be for a month to go by with no 2nd line. I wish you the best and hope you get to be a mommy soon!

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Ugh Im feeling really really Hot this afternoon/evening and very tired. Actually I have been exhausted since I ovulated. Im pretty sure its just hormones but mand I have had the best weeks sleep every night.

I am seeing the naturopath again on friday so I will ask her about it then.

Cazz

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Well I am 17DPO and I know I am not pregnant so where the heck is AF
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Its driving me absolutely crazy

Im tired Im grumpy and Im PMS'ing all over the place.
Its 11.30am and Im still in My P.J's

Cazz

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looks like I have managed to ovulated twice in one cycle. how weird is that!!!!

Cazz

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Looks like I ovulated twice this cycle.
:shock:

I am today 8DPO and feeling very lazy....lol
I have also had quite sore BB'ies the last few days.
Unusual for me but it could just be because I O'd twice and I should have had AF already and been on to a new cycle.

Im so bloated and just feel plain ugh!!!

anyway I have my appt with the new RE next monday which also happens to be 14DPO so I will test if I have not started bleeding by then.
If I do happen to get a BFP then perhaps the RE could help me keep the pregnancy. If I do get BFP then it would be the fourth pregnancy in four cycles.

Cazz

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The last 3 years for me have been an extremely rocky road for me.

I have................................

~joined pregnancy.org thinking I knew all about TTC

~found out I knew nothing about TTC

~learned an incredible amount about TTC

~made some incredible and I hope some life long friends on Preg.org

~found a doctor who I thought would help me

~Done 5 unsuccessful and frustrating rounds of injections

~taken a long 6 month break

~found an incredible naturopath who has helped me so much

~done another round of injections with IUI and gotten pregnant

~had a miscarriage

~done 2 more unsuccessful rounds of injections with IUI

~made the huge decision to stop TTC all together

~gotten pregnant on my own after making that desicion

~had another miscarriage

~made the decision that we were not meant to give up

~decided that my doctor was not going to help me

~made the decision to find another doctor

~ got pregnant again

~miscarried again

~got pregnant again

~miscarried again

~got pregnant again

~miscarried again

~seen my new doctor who basically told me that IVF was my only option
and we would aim to start some time in August.

~had my IVF appointment and will be starting 2 months earlier than planned!!!!!!

~In that time I also......
*helped martin run, start a business and then close the business, *rearranged and repainted my house(well helped martin),
*chauffered my mother in law,
*mended a relationship with my mother, as well as maintained my house, *kept up with you guys on the net.
*looked after my niece at least once a week and my firends baby once a week
*seen at least 1 movie a week at the cinema

kinda wondering how I have fitted it all in

the next few months will be filled with a sonohystergram and a hysteroscopy as well as starting the IVF treatment

I tell you what!!!! I am exhausted!! Mentally, Physically and emotionally. I am sure its going to get worse before it gets better. and hopefully its going to end with a sticky pregnancy and a healthy baby at the end of it all, with the possaibilty of more babies to follow!!!!

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Man I need to start getting regular on my posting.
I am hoping and praying that I wont need a TTC journal for much longer.
Once I do this first IVF cycle I am hoping I wont need to TTC again till after baby # 1 gets here.

Like I said Its on to IVF for us and we will start as soon as AF arrives which should be either today or tomorrow.

It will be a down regulation cycle which means I have to go on the pill for a cycle so my ovaries have a rest. apparantly you respond better to the injections after a down cycle. I hope so!!

I am actually looking forward to the down part. knowing I really dont have a chance to get pregnant and lose another one before going through IVF is a great big load off my mind.

I hope and pray that this is it for us and we will be holding and April baby in our arms

Cazz

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Turns out that all that bleeding after my HSG on wednesday is not normal at all. In fact I should have had none.

After talking to the guy that did it on wednesday then calling the IVF nurse it was decided that it was in fact

AF

I have already started my IVF Down Regulation Cycle without knowing it.

I start the pill on sunday and everything will fall into place after that.

OMG I am so so scared!!!!

Cazz

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Well I have had a very bad lower back for years now as well as neck problems and I recently heard that chiropractors can help increse IVF success rates so my mum had a talk to her chiropractor who said he would see me at a discounted rate.

Today I went and say him and he asked me heaps of questions, felt my spine and then took X-rays.

looking at the X-rays of my lower back you can see all the bones are squashed together and all out of place.

He said that that area is the fertility area where all the nerve endings and blood vessels go into the womb and ovaries etc and that all of them were probably squashed causing a lot of my fertility problems including my miscarriages!!!!!!!!!!

he manipulated my lower back and heard and felt the crack as the bones went into their right places.
He also did some in the ciddle of my spine and woah!!! I felt them crack back into place too. and you know what........strait away I could feel the difference. and I was standing straiter too.

I really truly hope and pray that this may have contruibuted to my fertility problems and that he has at lease given me better blood flow and a good chance of not miscarrying the next time I get pregnant!!!!
I am going back on thursday to see him again.

wish me luck
Cazz

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Well I have been on the pill now for my down regulation cycle for 5 days and I must say OWE!!!!

damn but my nipples are so sore..

I am hoping to get my IVF plan in the mail today so i can find out when I am supposed to do stuff.

I am also going to be having my hysteroscopy on July 5th and found out on tuesday that I have to be put to sleep for it....ugh!!!

anyway thats me for the moment

Cazz

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UGH got the invoices for the IVF today. I feel so guilty right now that we have to pay out that amount of money to get pregnant!!
It just does not seem fair.

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I had what I thought were O type pains last night and this morning. Man I hope I did not O.
I have been extra careful and babydancing has been a big no no ~ Poor Martin ~ but I just cant risk it.

generally you are on BCP's for 21 days. I will be on them for an extra 6 days. its so they dont schedule too many patients at the clinic at the same time.

Next Tuesday is my Hysteroscopy/endo biopsy and for good measure a pap smear.
Not really looking forward to any of it at all.
I will also be starting the syneral nasal spray next friday which will suppress ovulation.

so much happening but it all seems to be happening quite slowly!!

I just want to be pregnant with a sticky baby is that too much to ask for??

Cazz

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Started my injections last night.
Crazy how after about half an hour after the shot my ovaries start to twitch.
Generally its just for a half hour or so but this time it was all last night and I have felt it today as well. It is a higher dose than I am use to so I guess we'll see what happens when I go for my scan next monday.
Scary it really does seem like its all happening too fast yet it cant seem to happen fast enough. I just want to know what the end result will be. If I am going to get a BFP and if the baby will be a sticky bean. hoping and praying that both of those things will happen and I will be getting an April 2006 baby!!

Cazz

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Friday now.
Im all bloated and its not very comfortable to walk, sit, lie, sleep. Im hoping that means lots of follicles and lots of mature eggs inside them.
I really hope this works first go or that we at least get a lot of embryo's out of this go. It will be way too hard to convince Martin to do another stimulation cycle.

please let this work.

Cazz

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I am so sick of saying Im a TTC'er. I hate it. After almost 8 years and 9 months of TTC I hate all the questions and all the preconceived notions people have when you answer them. Like at the moment I am arranging the invitations for my dad's 50th B'day party and was speaking to an old family friend yesterday to get her address to send the invite to her.

"How many children do you have?"
"No I dont have any children"
"Oh thats a shame. Don't you want them?"
"Yes we do very much."
"Oh then why"
"We have been trying."
"Are you doing it right" said with a chuckle
"yes thank you." (adding "Want the video" in my head)
"Do you think you aren't meant to have kids then"
"No I do think I am meant to have babies"
"Oh if you think so"
"Have you seen a doctor about it?"
"Yes for years"
"Oh".....then as an after thought "what did he say"
" Well. I was put though all sorts of tests. I have been through all sorts of fertility treatment and drugs" (explanation of drugs and whats involved here)
"Oh they are not really natural"
"They are used by a lot of people nowadays"
"Yeah but its still not natural"
"No but how else am I supposed to have a family"
"Well I guess it comes down to whether you are supposed to have a family..............And it obviously has not worked for you"
"Well in fact it did. Last year. But I miscarried"
"Oh well It was not really meant to be then."
"But I got pregnant 4 more times naturally this year and miscarried all of them too."
"Oh dear. perhaps you should give up then"
"No we are going through IVF right now"
"Oh dear. That really is not natural....you'll have 5 babies like those ones in the paper"
"No I wont they are very strict"
"Well I'd be prepared for it not to work or to have another miscarriage again then!!"
"Gee thanks"
"Well I have to go my grandchildren are here. See you at the party"

Yeah Um I will be avoiding you all night and possibly even putting the wrong address on the invitation when I send it to you...........

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Not a gret weekend.

Martin's car had to be put in for repairs and today we found out it was going to cost $781 to fix. Just happens to be the week we are supposed to pay $1470 for the IVF. gonna truy and put of paying for the IVF for a week and even then see if I can pay half next week and half the week after. UGH

Anyway so Martin was in a foul mood all weekend so this morning having no car had to drive with me all the way into the city getting there at 6.45am and then waiting for me then afterwards we had to go through peak hour traffic to get to him to work afterwards

Anyway as for my scan
I have lots of follies. she did not tell me how many because they are all under 10mm and she said that you dont know how many of those will actually turn into bigger follies or if any will reabsorb.
So my dose has been upped to 350IU(from 200) and I go back in on Thursday for another scan. Man I hope there is progress by then.
The longer the process takes the more antsy martin will get.
My Endo lining was 8. dunno really what that means..lol.

Cazz

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Well I had my scan this morning and I was so scared that there would be nothing there etc.

Anyway the nurse starts the scan and she tells me my lining is 9.7 thats cool anything over 8 is good.

Then she starts hunting for my left ovary and has trouble finding it.....I know the sucker is wedged in under my cervix. anyway she finally fins it and then we see the nice pretty follicles.
13mm, 13mm, 13mm and a bunch under 10mm

then she scans over to my right ovary and then the follies come into focus.
11mm, 11.5mm, 11.5mm, 12.5mm and a bunch under 10mm.

woo hoo I have follies.

Then she rang my doctor and the doctor upped my dose of meds again to 450IU and I have to go back to what will most likely be my final scan on monday. The follicles should have grown more by then and the ones under 10mm could have a chance to catch up and grow bigger.
Most likely my OPU(ovum pick up) will be wednesday/thursday and my ET(embryo transfer) will be friday/saturday

Now I need more of thos follie growing vibes for the ones I have to get bigger and the under 10mm ones to grow to a decent size too.

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Well after my dose was upped this morning I feel like I am walking around with a bowling ball inside me. I am also quite tired.
Bring on monday

Cazz

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Can you say MEGA BOOBS & EWCM

Holy moley I have had an over abundance of EWCM today. felt like I wet myself lol.
Also My boobs are really swollen and my nipples are all horrible and pink and hurt like the dickens. I would imagine this means my ovaries are ready to ovulate the eggs that are big enough but the drugs I am on is stopping that.
Bring on Monday

Cazz

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OMG my nipples are still burning. they are so sore. It hurts to wear clothes.

Still two more injections till my scan.

I am hoping an increase in size and amount of follies.

Please please let this be it!!

Cazz

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I managed to go to a movie on friday night but yesterday Martin wanted to go to the city and I just could not move. It hurts to walk and I have to pee all the time. I hope that meanst my follies are growing in numbers and size and mostly likely pressing on the old bladder. Its hard for martin to go out like that by himself. He says he feels single but not!! lol
Today he wanted to go to the sunday markets and I still could not go with him. Its going to be hard enough going down the road for my scan tomorrow. every car trip hurts cos the roads are so uneven and bumpy. then I will have to travel to the city on wednesday(pretty please) for the OPU and thats an even loger trip!!! It should be okay afterwards cos all my follies will have been drained but then when I go for the ET I will be needing to rest again and it will just happen to be on friday so I will be resting all weekend lol. Poor Martin!!

Oh well thems the breaks when you are going through IVF!!

Cazz

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I had my scan this morning
left side
20mm, 20mm, 22mm & still have a few small ones

right side
19mm, 19mm, 19.5mm, 20mm, 22mm & still have a few small ones

lining is still thick and juicy.

I am triggering tonight with pick up wednesday morning and ET on friday

Im petrified!!!

Cazz

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The trigger hurl like a bitch!!!
the needle literally bounced off my skin the first time. I had to push extra hard to get the little sucker to go in!!!

this better work!!!

Cazz

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OMG its tomorrow!!!

this time tomorrow I will have been drained of all my follie fluid and eggies!!!
I think I will know thursday how many eggs/embryos I have then friday the transfer

Cazz

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I am on my way to the hospital shortly for my OPU!!

to say Im scared is an understatement

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Well the OPU went fine.
We only got three eggs.
Just waiting now to see how many if any fertilised. 1 hour-ish to go

Cazz

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I am having my Embryo Transfer today
We still dont know how many fertilised but I guess at least 1 did!!

We leave in 1.5 hours
Embryo transfer in 3 hours
Home in aprox 5 hours!!!!

OMG I am going to have a baby in my belly in 3 hours..........Please let it stick!!!!!

Cazz

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Well the doctor called me in and said well we only have one embryo but it looks good!!
So I got undressed and then she pulls back the curtain and says there is your embryo. on a TV screen I could see the most beautiful 4 cell embryo ever!!! okay I am biased Blum 3 I would have liked a picture but they dont do that!!

But the doctor said that it looked very good and strong and healthy.

then she did the transfer I was allowed to get up strait away and then I had to wait to see the nurse for my lovely progesterone supposotories
which I will take for 14 days at least.

I have my blood test on August 26th but the doc said if I am not pregnant my period should come in about 12 days which is technically 14DPO

cazz

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1 day down 11 more to go till the doc says AF will come if I am not pregnant

yikes!!!

I have in the past had distinct signs and symptoms when pregnant but I am posative the progesterone will mask most of them.
I dont think it will mask Martin smelling like a sewer pit though so I will have to look out for that one!!

here is my chart!!
1 and 2 DPO my temps were my own only 3DPO and beyond could possibly be influenced by the progesterone!!

http://www2.fertilityfriend.com/home/1cc75

Cazz

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8 days to go till my blood test!!!! Scary. but at the same time I just want it to be next friday already. I just want to know one way or the other.

although according to the doctor AF should come next wednesday if I am NOT pregnant.

ugh!!!! please hurry up (next) friday!!

Cazz

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Okay I am realluy feeling like the IVF has not worked!
I am not expecting a massive influx of symptoms but I would have at least thought my BB'ies would stay sore. now its just my nipples that are sore~ish!
My bloatyness from the IVF has seemed to have gone too and that apparantly is a sign too.
I feel sad today, and its more than likely the crinone talking but I just wish that it would all be over and I could be happily pregnant awating my baby.
If we have to do another IVF cycle I dont know how we could handle it financially. Not to mention emotionally or physically
I just want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world!!

Cazz

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3 days to go till my BT!!
getting scared!!!
tmorrow is the day AF should arrive according to the doctor if I am not pregnant so I am not going to be doing much tomorrow!!!

Im going Crazy!!

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1 day to go to my blood test!
According to the doctor AF should have come yesterday if I was not pregnant.
Not taking too much into account though cos I know the progesterone supps could delay af too.

still unsure what the outcome is going to be.
today is going to be a tough one to get through. Tomorrow, even harder!!!

Cazz

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