Af is here and being very mean. The cramps are like they were in high school before bcp. I actually tried to take a nap today, and was awaken by the extreme cramping. I finally got up and was so nauseas and hurting that I lay on the bathroom floor for awhile. Then I took 2 advil and now feel a little better.
Well today is cd4 and af is leaving the building. This has been a tough af. Day 1 extreme cramping and medium bleeding, Day 2 extreme cramping and heavy bleeding, Day 3 no cramping and medium bleeding, and today no cramping and medium/light bleeding. I am getting use to these shorter periods but hate the spotting before.
I was going to go buy a fertility monitor but decided to try this cycle and buy one from ebay through this cycle so I can use it for the next one. I do not want to buy it full priced. If I get pregnant then I will just keep it until I try for # 2 or resale it on ebay.
I am going to relax again this cycle. Woohoo for relaxing!!!! It will happen sooner or later, and I love what my friend said to me God is just getting me ready for parenthood, and the baby we are suppose to have is not ready to leave his side yet. I love that and that makes it all better. It will happen!!!!!
Not sure of cycle day- I think cd 10 or 11. Everything is going well this cycle. I have decided to just relax again. I bought a sexy outfit for dh for VDay. I am going to plan a nice romantic evening. It is so funny for the first time since ttc, I bought the outfit for the night of fun instead of ttc. I guess I am going to have a great cycle.
Well I believe I am cd 13, but again not 100% sure. Last night I was thinking about this cycle, and decided I am going to completely relax. I have not checked my cp or cm at all, and I really like it. I also am thinking about not using opks this cycle. I have a few left, but am really thinking about throwing them away and going at ttc the old fasioned way- lots of sex!!!!
If this works for me, then I will be pregnant. If not then I have just missed a cycle and next cycle I will go back to the temping, charting, etc. I am happy and enjoying just being with dh. I dont want to mess that up. This way I also have no idea when I o, so I will just bd until af shows or day 45 *which would be my longest cycle. I know I am scheduled to ovulate around v day, but not sure exactly when. I do not want to know the exact day- it puts to much pressure on us.
I have absolutely no idea what cd I am on. I am noticing my cm is getting wetter, and more eggwhite, but I am not testing opks so I am not sure when I am oing. I am enjoying bding, and am having fun trying new positions, instead of the normal missionary that we got so used to trying.
I believe I am on cd 21 or 22. This morning I woke up and while I was testing my cm and cp I noticed that I had very dark almost spotting looking cm. I am also cramping today. I know it is too early for me to have af and based on the rest of my cycles even too early for ovulation. So I have no idea what is going on with my body. OH well I guess I will just continue to enjoy this cycle, and when af shows I will move on to the less relaxed approach..
Ok I need to vent- and where else can I do it but here? So anyone reading I am going to go ahead and warn you this is a venting post.
I am so sick and tired of ttc. I am relaxing and resting this cycle, and it is great, but I am also confused as all can be. Yesterday morning I woke up and while checking my cp I found a small dot of brownish blood. I was confused but nothing happened during the rest of the day. So I just let it go. Compared to earlier cycles I am no where near af, and o is probably going to happen next week. So then I start thinking o is closer then expected. Last night after our bding session, I was really spotting. I normally spot after bd close to ovulation, and since we have done that position before I know it wasn't because of the position. So as you can see I am so confused. Am i oing? I have gotten several negative opks (even though I haven't tested yet today), my cp is high and medium, and closed. My cm is actually watery today and a little stretchy but I am not sure if that is semen leftover from last night or cm. Yesterday it was sticky/creamy which makes it even more confusing- last week I had very heavy cm several days. I am so confused. I guess we will continue to bd until I know for sure I have oed.
I am also so sick of long cycles. I am tired of seeing people with "normal" cycles get to have two while I am still going through one loong cycle. It sucks! I will be ovulating around the same time people who just started their periods. They have already ovulated and took a test while I am just waiting for o to come. I have decided after talking it over with dh that if I am not pregnant by my annual (july) then I am going to talk to the dr about how I can shorten my cycles. I was looking and we have been trying for 9 months, and I am only on my 5 cycle of ttc. Yes I know that time also includes my pregnancy, m/c, and the 60 day healing cycle. But since Sept I have been trying and nothing has happened. Why was it so easy that first go around?
Another friend is pregnant. She started trying the same cycle I did after my m/c and she is already pregnant. I am so happy for her but then I am jealous that it is not me. UGH why does ttc do this to me. On another note my neighbor is getting induced tomorrow, she was due 1 month before me, so it is kinda hitting me hard. I am going to buy her some baby things, and I know that is going to be difficult, but i need to do it.
So as you can see I am having a hard time today. On top of all this I am cramping majorly. My stomach feels like it is so bloated, and full. I feel like if someone stuck a pen in my stomach all the air will come out. Even though I feel so gassy, I cant go to the bathroom. UGH!!!
Well I am feeling a lot better today. Yesterday was hard, due to the fact that it wasn't me bringing home the baby. I would have been coming home with one shortly if my bean had only stuck. After a good cry the rest of my day was ok. I actually believed I cried harder yesterday then I did with my m/c.
I am on cd 26, and after saying I wasn't going to use any opk's I have been. I hate them though, but it is so hard not to want to know when I am ovulating. I wish I could go back to that first month when I didn't know anything. I know I am oing soon, but I dont want it to stress dh out and things wont work out again this month. I took an opk today and the lines were the exact same shade and darkness, so it looks like I will be oing soon. They aren't working well in that the pee is not rising like it should. They were pretty cheap online, so I am not loosing too much money if I toss them.
I plan on bding twice this weekend, and then trying on Tuesday and Thursday of this week. DH is going out of town on Wednesday and I know he will be pretty tired and may have to work late on Monday night so those are the only two nights that may happen. I hope it works!!!