New journal...still ttc#2

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FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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New journal...still ttc#2

*Update: As requested, I'm opening my journal up for comments, so feel free to comment if you feel so moved.* Smile

I felt like starting fresh with a new journal. My old had the title, "ttc again after mc in Aug." Well that was Aug of 2009, which was over a year ago now, so I think it's time to start a new journal.

I've been ttc#2 since May of 2008 and it's been quite the journey. A lot of ups and downs a long the way, feeling like giving up, having hope again, then wanting to quit. I've held on despite that, and more recently, have relaxed and let God take control.

One of my pg.org buddies recently said something that struck a chord with me. She said, "I don't think God would have given me the desire (for another baby) if it wasn't meant to happen, I just need more patience." I thought that was a very good point, and had never really thought of it that way. It made me smile Smile

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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Ovulating?

I think today's the day. I got a +OPK yesterday evening, had o pain on the right side late last night (about 12:30am), which continued in a milder version off and on all day, then a little while ago, had some major cramping and very intense o pain again, except this time it was on the LEFT side, which was interesting. Fraternal twins, maybe? Haha. Actually, I'm not really sure how I feel about twins. I used to think it would be so cool, but now I am not so sure. It's not up to me, though. What God would provide, He would make a way for me to handle. I'm sure of it Wink

DH and I decided to "actively" try again this month. Our BD issues are still there, but we have found a way to cope with it and make it work to ensure insemination. That being said, we had BD "success" 3 times near O time this time! 3 days before, 1 day before, and the day of (today). I feel good about that, and will have plenty of hope for this 2ww. Smile I just hope I can stay busy enough so it's not on my mind constantly!

This morning I woke up with some unmistakable nausea, then had it again sometime during the day. BBs have also been pretty sore and tender today. I assume it has something to do with O'ing?

I actually thought I was O'ing earlier this cycle, on CD 13, because on CD 12, I got an almost positive on an opk. I didn't test again until 8 hours later, and it was lighter again, so I just assumed I had missed the peak of the surge. I also had EWCM, and some cervical cramping. But on CD 13, I never had any O pain, so it made me wonder. Sure enough, on CD 14, I got a darker opk again in the evening. On CD 15 it continued to get progressively darker, and then by evening, it was positive. At the same time I got the positive, as if on cue, I had the BEST EWCM I think I have ever had, much better than the previous EWCM. The opk confusion might have to do with the new brand I'm using, too. They are IC's from Amazon.com. Previous to that, I was using mostly the dollar store brand.

FLSunshineMom's picture
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2 dpo

I need to correct something I said in my previous post regarding BD around O time. The "3 days before" part should have said "4 days before."

Yesterday, I still had nausea, but it was milder. BBs were still sore, even more so.
Today, no nausea, and BBs are only mildly sore and tender.
My sense of smell "seems" to be heightened as well, but it's probably just my imagination.
And what is up with all the EWCM? Wow, I've had it starting the day before O all the way up until today. It was more scant today, but I'm surprised I had any at all at 2 dpo. Normally my CM dries up the minute I ovulate, LOL.

Today I was dreaming of carrying another baby in my arms. It happened while I was carrying my almost 4-yr old (grunting periodically from the strain) from her bedroom to the living room. I was thinking about how it wouldn't be long now and she would be too big for that. I was also trying to imagine what it would be like for my daughter to have a sibling. She is always asking to go see one of her cousins, or to go "play with the kids" either at the mall or the playground, and I feel so bad for her some days that she doesn't have any kids who live close enough to play with (we live 'out in the country' on a large piece of property and only have two neighbors, none of which have younger kids).

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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6 dpo

My temps haven't been very impressive so far. Today it finally went up some, at least, which made me feel a little better.

Today's "wishful-thinking" symptoms:
-Increased tender/sore bbs, they also feel slightly 'fuller'
-Joint pain off and on, especially in my right hip (which I had with my pg'cy with Hannah)
-Increased thirst
-Drowsiness (may be from Zyrtec I'm taking? Though I am taking a very LOW dose, only 1/6 of a tablet).

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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8 dpo

-Mild cramps last night, and some today
-Today, up until early afternoon, dull pain in area of right ovary
-BBs seemed a little less sore today than yesterday
-Tonight, started having some pretty bad nausea off and on.
-Fatigue all day long.

I wasn't too impressed with my temp this morning, but... temps don't mean much at this point I guess, plus it 'could' be implantation. I just don't want to get my hopes up. Can't wait for 10dpo to get here as that is my official test day. Less than two days to go.

FLSunshineMom's picture
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12 dpo

Well it's not looking too good. Only getting BFNs, then tonight I started to cramp here and there but they definitely feel like the start of AF cramps, and it appears that Sister Spot is beginning to make her appearance as well. It was a minuscule amount (two different times) but there, nonetheless.

The good news is, when we DTD this morning, it went smoothly for a change. I felt like we were 'normal' again, LOL Biggrin DH recently went to the doctor and was given medication for his high blood pressure, so I'm hoping the high BP was the issue and that the meds are helping the situation. I really really hope it's not just a 'coincidence' and happened to be one of those rare times when things went well. If it is because of the meds, then ttc this next month will be sooooooo much easier, that's for sure Smile

I had a very interesting dream a few nights ago. In the dream, I was pregnant, and my due date was January 1st. It was so real. It was probably "just a dream," but one never knows about these types of things I guess. Hmmm if that were to be true, that would mean only having to wait "about" three more months to get that BFP Smile

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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CD 15

Obviously, despite my "good" chances last month, we didn't catch the egg. :confused: I stopped posting here for awhile after that, because I guess I just didn't have much to say.

Looks like I am going to O later this month. Joy of all joys. Waiting waiting waiting. lol. I'm on CD 15, and as of this evening, still getting a negative opk. In fact it was the lightest one yet of all the opks I've done so far this month. Ha! Go figure. Tonight I had some really good EWCM, though, so it shouldn't be long now. And what is up with the directions on the back of the Dollar Tree opk box now? I just happened to read them again yesterday, and it said that one line meant a negative opk, and two lines meant a positive!?! :goofy: It's almost like the opk test directions mixed up with the pregnancy test directions. :huh: At any rate, I decided to ignore those directions and just read opks like I always have. If I'm wrong and the company that makes those tests has passed a bill in congress to get the directions changed (lol), then my temp will show that I ovulated anyway.

Moving on. Apparently that one time of BD where everything went well was just a one time event, unfortunately. Apparently it didn't have anything to do with DH's medication, it just happened to be one of those rare events. I admit it was a bit disappointing, and I kept hoping for it to happen again. Then one time several days ago I thought it was going to happen again, everything was going along so great, and then all of the sudden something happened and... nada. Game over. You lose. And there are no more coins in your pocket. At that moment, I got so frustrated that I was in tears, but I kept it inside and didn't tell DH how I was feeling. I was thinking right then, "That's it. I'm done trying. I can't do this anymore." And then came the moment of truth... was I going to bother putting in that "extra effort" so than insemination would still happen? I debated back and forth, and in the end, clamped down like a bulldog (not on DH, thankfully) and decided to go for it! So I did. But for a good portion of the day after that, I was so depressed. I'm not sure exactly why THAT time I took it so hard. I didn't snap out of it until I went for a drive later and heard some things on the radio, then went to see a move with my daughter (Yogi Bear, which was surprisingly pretty good!) which helped take my mind off everything. I did a lot of thinking on the way back home after that, too (and heard more encouraging things on the radio. The Good Lord always seems to know just what I need. Lol

After that incident, I decided I wanted to try and make BD more enjoyable, despite our issues. So I talked to DH about it, and next thing I know we were BD, and enjoying every minute of it. The "extra effort" at the end was just like icing on the cake. I didn't mind one bit, and it wasn't like effort at all. The next time after that, about midway through I had to "remind" myself again not to think so much about ttc and to just relax and have fun, and I did. Oh what a difference it made. I hope to keep this attitude up Smile

Despite that change, I still struggle with obsessing over the opks. I had to fight the urge to test a 3rd time late tonight, despite only having one dollar tree opk left. No, I decided, better to wait until tomorrow morning, and then I'd have time to make another trip to the dollar store. I guess I am really wanting that +opk, since there are times when we don't get the opportunity for BD and when we do, I like for O to happen shortly thereafter! That's what *I* want anyway. :rolleyes:

My half brother is supposed to be coming into town tomorrow. My other brother is supposed to pick him up from the airport, and then they'll call me to let me know where they're going for lunch so I can meet them there with Hannah. I haven't seen him in like forever, so it will be nice to catch up. I am also supposed to go over and help clean for my MIL tomorrow to get ready for Hannah's birthday party on Sunday (it will be at her house). I hate house cleaning. I don't mind laundry, but as for cleaning, well... let's just say I think houses really need to have a self-cleaning feature built in.

On another subject, I've been thinking a lot lately about picking up running again. Not long after I first thought about it, I got sick naturally, lol. Then I got slightly better, then got sick again recently and am still in the middle of that. So the running will have to wait a bit longer. The good news is, I'm not so sick that I can't BD Smile

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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CD 17

Finally got a +OPK today! I had run out of tests yesterday after testing at 1:00pm, and wasn't able to get more and test again until today at Noon. I was pretty sure I'd get a positive today, based on what my EWCM was doing, and other signs.

Now here's to hoping we get another opportunity to try and catch that elusive egg. Lol

It's funny, this morning when I first took my temp, it had shot up to 98.03, which was a bit confusing. I had woken up a lot during the night coughing, though. I had also woken up earlier than usual and couldn't go back to sleep, so I temped before getting up, then stayed up awhile, ate breakfast, then went back to bed (wasn't feeling well, either). Then when I woke back up again, I re-took my temp, and it was lower again. So I went with that temp. Then the +opk just confirmed that the second temp was likely the more accurate one.

Tonight I'm not feeling any better; in fact, possibly even a bit worse. Earlier I was hacking and coughing my guts out, lol, and ohhhh the burn in my chest. YEEOUCH! Which might mean I'm not up for more BD anytime soon, but we shall see. Not gonna stress about it this time. Thankfully, some hot water with apple cider vinegar and honey mixed in seemed to help slow down the coughing (and intensity of it) quite a bit.

On a more positive note, I had a nice time with Hannah today on her birthday. Took her to Applebee's for lunch, and she had macaroni and cheese, and broccoli (the broccoli was my idea. Thankfully she eats it with very little prompting by me!). Then the servers got together and came over to sing her Happy Birthday with the whole clapping thing. Hannah ate it up Smile They also gave her a free sundae! I was impressed Smile After that, we went to the mall and I let her ride the train. Our favorite "conductor" was there today and she gave Hannah a very special ride Biggrin Then Hannah rode on one of those "moves in place" trucks, then I took her shopping at JCPenney with her birthday money from her grandma and she picked out a very nice blouse for herself (she has great taste!). All in all, a good day. Except for one part. The longer it went, the worse I was feeling. I wanted to stay longer and let her play in the play area at the mall, but my whole body was starting to ache and I was starting to get very lethargic (not to mentioning coughing constantly), so it was time to call it a day.

Oh, and about my opk. I wonder if it could mean something good that I got a positive on my daughter's birthday?

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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CD 18 - 1 dpo?

It's looking like I probably O'd yesterday. Had a very nice temp jump this morning, and I took my temp at my usual temping time (well not the exact time, but only slightly earlier), and I had not coughed for a few hours prior to that and slept like a baby during that time Smile (By the way, I still want to know where "sleep like a baby" comes from, because ummmm babies don't usually sleep for very long stretches?")

Anyway. Pretty sure I'm 1 dpo! Time to start obsessing over every little twinge. hehe. Earlier today, I had what felt like a strap pulled tight around my abdomen for a brief period of time, then it stopped. Then about an hr ago, I had sore BBs for about... oh... a minute. lol. And just a few minutes ago I could swear they started feeling a little swollen. Hahahaha now isn't that a good imaginary symptom. Gotta love the mind games during the 2ww. I've learned to just have fun with it Smile

Oh, and I also think it's kinda neat that not only did I get the +opk on my DD's birthday, but now also looks like I O'd on her birthday as well. Not that it necessarily means anything, but well ya know.... gotta try and find ANY kind of a sign that this might be "the month." :rolleyes:

This afternoon my DD made me laugh so hard (which right now unfortunately means I also COUGH hard, lol). She had just finished a snack, which was leftover ravioli, and thought I had cleaned her up good, but a little later found crusted ravioli sauce on her upper chest (how it got there, I have no clue, as she had a bib on!). I told her we need to go get a baby wipe and clean it off, but she thought she'd be cute and bent her head down, stuck her tongue way out, and started LICKING it off! It wasn't so much the fact that she was trying to lick it off, but it was the WAY she was doing it. She looked just like a dog licking itself, with big, long strokes. ROFL

(Oh and by the way, I still went and got a baby wipe Lol

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
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3 dpo

My temp dipped way down this morning compared to the two previous mornings. Here I thought my temp was rising so nicely, then this morning it was back down again.

Anywhooo.

I have decided that I just can't do the whole "imaginary symptoms" thing again this 2ww. I would so much rather RELAX and not think about it. I might make a mental note (and note here) some highly unusual thing now and then, but I am so not going to obsess over every little thing this time. Just not gonna. I'm going to get a life, for a change. lol.

Today we had Hannah's birthday party. It went well, and she really enjoyed it. She insisted on wearing her Princess dress (a hand-me-down from an older cousin) over her regular clothes for her "party dress," even though it's getting too small for her. Then guess what she got as one of her gifts? A new princess dress, with a matching barbie doll! Smile Now she has a brand new dress that fits her really well. She also got one of those shaking balls that plays music and bounces all over the floor (a BIG hit with her :)), a retro game station that just plugs right into the TV (with Pac Man, Dig Dug, Galaga, etc.), and a set of 3 miniature furry animals.

Getting sleepy now... better head to bed.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
4 dpo

Dear boobs,

You think you're funny, don't you? Acting all sore when I'm only 4 dpo. You KNOW how hard I'm trying to RELAX and NOT to obsess over symptoms this month, right? So can you do me a favor and please stop now? 'K thanks, bye.

Lol

My temp went back up today, so not sure what that dip was all about yesterday. Way too early to be any kind of implantation dip.

In other news, I think my DD didn't get the memo that washing your hands is different than taking a bath. And can I just say that I think her middle name should have been Molasses? She soaps up (and I do mean SOAPS up, she would use a whole container of liquid soap at one time if I let her), puts it all the way up both arms, cups her hands to let the water fill them up and just sits there with her "full cup" for the longest time, then pours it out, then makes a ring with her finger and thumb and lets the water run through that, and does just about everything you can think of EXCEPT rinse the soap off. I have to literally stand there and coach her on the proper way to rinse ones hands, and to do it quicker than say... oh.. an hour. And she's 4 years old for crying out loud! :doh: Lol

And don't even get me started on how long it takes her to get in her car seat. Oh my word. You would think the girl is afraid the thing will bite her when she sits down. I think I finally figured out a way to encourage her to do it quicker, though. I called her Miss Molasses one day recently and she looked at me with her face all scrunched up and said, "I'm not Miss Molasses. I'm Hannah." I said, "Well you're acting like Molasses with how slow you're getting in your seat. Wouldn't you rather be Speedy Gonzalez?" She shook her head "Yes" very feverishly. So I said, "Okay, then show me." So she got back down out of her seat, then got in her seat quickly, almost falling from doing it so fast. "Yaaaaaay!" I celebrated, "Speedy Gonzalez! Woo hoo!" She smiled and seemed to like that nickname much better. So now every time she's getting in her seat, I'll say, "Show me how you can be Speedy Gonzalez." Seems to be working pretty good so far Biggrin

FLSunshineMom's picture
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Haha! I just realized something. DUH! Why not use the Speedy Gonzalez thing when she's washing her hands? Hmmm think I'll give that a try tomorrow. Smile

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
10 dpo

Hmmm that's odd, I thought for sure I had posted here since 4 dpo. Guess not.

Well the Speedy Gonzalez thing doesn't work quite as well for my DD to wash her hands as it does for her getting in her car seat. I will have to try and think of something else. Singing a song doesn't work, either. She'll either keep repeating it, or stop and keep taking a bath in the sink. :rolleyes: Gotta love it. Tonight she decided to also wash her HAIR in the sink. What am I going to do with her.

And by the way, just in case anyone who might be reading this is wondering why my 4-yr old is still in a car seat, lol, it's a convertible car seat, one of the larger ones that can be used as a booster seat. Just thought I'd clear that up for anyone envisioning a 4-yr with her legs and arms hanging off a too-small infant car seat. Haha. j/k really, I doubt anyone even noticed that I said "car seat" in conjunction with the fact that I had a ticker that said I had a 4-yr old.

Moving on.

So I have put in a call to the Guinness Book of World Records. I told them how long I've held out before testing this month, and am waiting to hear back. (kidding, by the way, for anyone who didn't realize I was kidding :lol:)

And can I just say... go me :bb:

I hope to make it a trend. Of course what I really hope is that I won't have to worry about it again for ohhh say another 9 months or so? That sure would be nice Smile

I am supposed to test in the morning, but I am soooo nervous! I don't want to face it if it's a BFN. Sounds irrational, I know, because after all, 11 dpo is still early. But I have seen so many women get at least a faint BFP at 11 dpo that I can't help but expect to see "something" tomorrow. I'm even afraid to take my temp in the morning, because I am afraid my temp will be lower!

I guess I have my hopes up, too, because today I've had some promising symptoms. I've been pretty bloated (more so than the usual PMS), this afternoon my bbs started to get REALLY sore, NO, I mean REEEEALLY sore (reminds me of how they felt when I was pg with my DD), and I've had a VERY strong sense of smell. And then tonight, just a little while ago, I started to feel pretty nauseous.

But maybe all those are just wishful-thinking, psychosomatic symptoms? Now I'm afraid of the symptoms! LOL. They can't be for real. They just can't.

Can I just fast-forward to five days past when AF was due and test then? ~Siiiigh~ Guess not, huh? Too bad I'm not the type of person who has no problem waiting that long. Well, at least I have a dollar store test as well as a FRER, so I can use the dollar store test first and if it's bfn, then I won't waste the FRER.

I'm just so nervous!

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
13 dpo

I don't want to talk about it. I just can't.

Okay I'll talk about it. That's what journals are for, right? To get things off your chest?

So anyway, the short version of the story is that I wound up with yet another DSD (dollar store dud). Had me convinced I had a +hpt, got excited and everything. I even thought the FRER I used at the same time had a super faint line on it, but now I know it's because I thought the DS hpt was +, so I think my brain "drew" a line on the FRER :rolleyes: Not two hours after what I thought was a + DS hpt, I went to use the bathroom and discovered that I had just started heavy spotting! :shock: It was so heavy that it looked like the beginning of a light flow. So then I was thinking, "Implantation bleeding, maybe? It could happen at 12 dpo, right? Especially since I have never had such heavy spotting at 12 dpo."

But that's not all! There's more! The DS hpts were not done with this gullible girl yet. No siree. The next morning, THIS morning, I took another DS hpt, and lo and behold a nice, obvious line was starting to appear... so I whipped out another FRER and dipped it in the pee. Then I looked at the DS hpt again, and the line had begun to fade! :eek: I was like, "Wait! Come back! What are you doing?!" Then I watched the FRER, just STARED at it, WILLING it to give me a line, but it laughed at me with its blank space. So I went into the cabinet and got out the DS hpt from the day before (you know, the one that was supposed to be a +?), and alas, after the ink had dried overnight and the truth came out, it was a bonified INK SMEAR! The line was even crooked now, which proved it wasn't real. :brucelee: :boxing: :ninja: :stupidsign::argue:

Needless to say, Dollar Store hpts are now BANNED from ever entering my house again! :protest:

Me and them apparently do NOT get along. They do not like me. They looooove taunting me with their evil 'fake' lines and evaps.

So FRERs and Answer brand hpts it shall be from now on. Which are more expensive, of course, but maybe it will keep me from testing so much? Maybe?

I couldn't help but think today... as hard of a time as I've had with ttc#2, am I just banging my head against a wall here? It sure feels like it. Am I even supposed to be expecting a second child? I mean, it's been an uphill battle for over two years now, coming up on three years in May. Should I just count my losses and be happy with the one beautiful daughter that I have?

I can't help but be a little sad when I see those I've been on the ttc boards with come back around to ttc their 2nd and 3rd child. I can't imagine what it's like for those who are still ttc their first. *Hugs to all of you out there*

At any rate, the spotting has continued today, and my temp was lower, so I am fully expecting AF to show tomorrow. I am debating what to do next month. I am done with temping and opks for now (except I might temp one more time tomorrow). Maybe I'll just check CM this next month and still actively ttc... or maybe I'll forget all of it and JLIH. We'll see how I feel once AF is over.

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Posts: 3859

So... my temp went back up this morning, but I just kind of laughed at it. Not gonna fall for that one. I did test again this afternoon "just in case" since AF had not officially shown yet and the spotting at one point had stopped altogether, but as I expected, BFN. So glad I'm not using dollar store hpts anymore. It was an Answer brand and it was VERY CLEARLY BFN. No doubt about it. Thank you, Answer brand for giving me a clear "answer"! Smile

Now, of course it would have been even nicer to have the "other" answer, but... well... at least I have an answer.

So now I'm waiting for AF to show her slow self. Is she taking lessons from my DD? Because I had some red spotting come back, and then even more red on the TP, thought for sure she was starting then, but when I went to the bathroom again later, no'p. Come onnnnnn, let's get this party started already! I'm ready to move on.

I think I've decided to JLIH next month, and check CM only so I'll at least have some idea of when I ovulated and therefore when to expect AF.

I have to wonder if I'll be able to resist picking up that thermometer at least once in awhile, though.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

AF finally showed tonight. Still very light, but technically it's a "red flow" so... I guess she's here. Phew. Finally I feel like I can move on.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 5

So I am seriously toying with the thought of making the "just let it happen" thing this month a more permanent thing. Which for us would mean nearly the same thing as preventing, since we have to put in 'extra effor't 99% of the time in order for insemination to happen.

Am I giving up? I don't know. I think part of it might be that I'm not a young chicken anymore and lately my body is doing things that worry me. I have just not felt normal for awhile now. It has me concerned, and has spurred me on to lose the extra weight once and for all, to get healthy, and to get in top shape.

And part of me is also just wanting to let go of wanting another child. The thought of going through another pregnancy and the months of sleepless nights appeals to me less and less these days. I am reminded of that every time my daughter wakes up in the middle of the night, or worse, like the night before last when she decided that going to sleep at 8:30pm was just a nap, and that Midnight to 3:30 a.m. would be a good time to stay awake and play. She wound up in our bed, which meant my DH wound up in her bed (long story, don't ask), and then at 6:30 a.m. she had the gall to announce to me that the sun was up and that it was morning time. :roll: To which I responded in my sleep-deprived state, "I don't care if the sun is up. I'm going back to sleep." Lol Then I laid there with my eyes closed and couldn't. Then I looked over at her and she was back asleep. :doh:

So anyway, yah. I think I might be done trying. At least for now. And if I decide in the end to make this a 'permanent' decision, then I don't see any point in using any kind of birth control, since we really have our own built-in birth control if we just don't put in any 'extra effort." And that way, there will still be that little window open, just in case the Good Lord decides to bless our time of BD and we get that miracle. And if He does, I won't complain. I'll just have to suck it up and deal with how my body handles the pregnancy, and the months of sleepless nights.

In other news, I started a new Blog today. I figure it will help me stay on track with losing weight and getting healthy. I have never been more motivated to do that than I am now. I want to feel normal again. To have more energy and more stamina, and be able to do more. To know that I've done everything I can do to make my body stronger and give myself a chance to enjoy life and have fewer health problems. I'm also thinking of starting a Blog for getting my house thoroughly cleaned, de-cluttered, and organized. I've gotten quite far behind on that, and it's time I dealt with it. Now is a great time to start, since I am losing the ttc obsession this month.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 9

The "Just letting it happen" thing has been nice so far this month. It's so much easier not to obsess when I'm not taking my temp every day.

I think I am leaning back in the direction of not making JLIH a permanent thing, though. Someone asked me recently if I was "at peace" with not having any more children and when she put it that way, it made me stop and think. Could I really be at peace with it? I couldn't say yes, so I decided to think about it for a few days. So far I am finding just the opposite. That I am anything BUT at peace with it. I went lurking on one of the birth boards the other day and when I went to look on the "Spaces" thread where all the BFPs, pregnant belly shots, and ultrasounds were located, my heart ACHED for another child. Then today in the grocery store I saw this cute little baby boy and my heart just melted, and something inside me came alive, and I just knew the whole idea I've been toying with lately of no longer trying just wasn't going to fly.

So why do I still have no desire to try right now? Maybe I just need a month off.

In other news, my DD the comedian was at it again today. I decided last night that she needed some new underwear and some camis, so today I went to Walmart to get some. While I was picking them out, she spotted the girls' bras, and exclaimed, "Booby bras! I want this one!" And took one with a frog print off the rack and showed it to me and started to put it in the cart. I laughed and explained that she was too young for that and didn't need it right now, then showed her what I would buy for her (the camis). She seemed satisfied with that. Such a silly girl.

DH has been working on trying to put in a new kitchen sink for me. He's been building it all himself, so it's been a work in progress. Today he cut the marble stone to put on top of the sink base and glued it down and it's drying now. I can't wait! The current sink is way too small and the surface on one side is scratched up terribly.

Ok off to do some reading in my book now. I am currently reading, Safe Haven, by Nicholas Sparks. It's been pretty good so far.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 19

*Break out the popcorn, this is going to be one of my longer posts* Smile

My DH surprised me this past Saturday. As usual, despite much effort the 'natural' way, we weren't able to seal the deal, and like all the other times this month, I didn't really feel like putting in any "extra" effort, so I was just going to let it go, despite knowing that I would probably be O'ing soon since my body signs were showing it. But DH had other plans. This time HE was the one who initiated wanting to put in the extra effort, and when he wanted to, it encouraged me to want to, so I did. It was so nice to see DH initiate it for a change.

I wonder if him seeing me hold a four-month-old baby at a birthday party recently had anything to do with it? He was giving me that "look," after all Wink

Anyway, after we did the necessary deed to seal the deal, I talked to him and he admitted to really wanting another child. Finally, he admitted it. He hasn't said much about it up to now, other than, "If it happens, it happens. If not, then okay." He still says he's okay with either outcome. I wish I was that laid back about it. I am more so than I was before, but it's more because I'm just exhausted with the whole thing than anything else and don't feel like fighting the fight anymore.

I felt a little encouraged that we at least had a chance this month, and then was curious to find out exactly how close to O our "seal the deal" BD was. I had 2 opks on hand, plus 4 digital opks I had received for free from a friend, but didn't want to use the digitals until I got a + on the other kind of opk (By the way, who decided we would call ovulation predictor tests "OPKs," anyway? OPK stands for ovulation predictor kit. LOL. A kit is a box of several tests, not an individual test. That has been bugging me, haha.) Anywho. So the second day I tested, which was Sunday morning, I got the +. (Forgot to confirm with the digital before pouring out the pee, though...oh well.) I was so relieved, because when I had gone to buy some OPKs, *er, um...ovulation tests* at the dollar store, the two I had bought were the only two left on the shelf! All the rest were hpts (which I squinted my eyes and growled at, lol. If you've read my recent posts, you know exactly why :rolleyes:). So I asked the cashier about it and she said the two tests in my hand were the very last of the ovulation tests, and that they would no longer be carrying them, and I already knew that the only other dollar store in town where you could get ovulation tests no longer carried them, either. So that was that. Either one of those two ovulation tests would give me a +, or I would have to A) Buy an actual OPK; i.e., Ovulation Kit; i.e., put out more moolah, or Dirol Not worry about it and just wait to see if AF showed by CD 32 or 33. Thankfully, it worked out. The first dollar store ovulation test showed the kind of line that you knew was "headed for a +", and I wanted to test again that night so badly, but made myself wait until the next morning, and that's when I got the blazing + Smile Phew.

I hoped that we would get another chance to "seal the deal" before or on the day of O, but refused to stress or even worry about it, which is a good thing, because it didn't happen.

So that's where it's at. If those bald-headed, one-legged swimmers were feeling extra spunky that day and decided to hang out for a couple days, then maybe there's a chance...

As for me getting healthy, losing weight, getting in shape, and all that jazz this month, all I can say is... HA! It seems just the opposite happened. :rolleyes: Though I've done some better, I don't seem to stay consistent and I'm right back to eating like crud and not exercising like I should. I'm not sure exactly what is going on with me. So hope I can get a handle on it.

I have to say, though, since taking fish oil capsules and prenatals every day again, I have felt so much better. What a relief.

I also picked up temping again to confirm O. A lot of good it has done so far, because without the pre-O temps, it's hard to tell if I'm getting a good temp rise or not. I had O pains the same day as the + ovulation test (late that night) and none since, but I'm still just going to assume I o'd the day after the +. After a few more temps I'll be able to confirm O for sure (just not the exact day, only an estimate based on the +OT).

"Symptoms" so far: 0-1 DPO or 1-2 DPO ~ BLOATED. I'm sure I've been bloated before around O time, I just don't remember being this bloated and not this constantly.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
2 dpo

Well surprise surprise, I had more o pain two nights ago, and this time it was VERY intense, so there was NO question I was o'ing. And sure enough, the next morning (yesterday morning) I had a nice temp jump. So I changed my o day from Mon to Tues. It's kind of unusual for me to o as late as 48 hrs after a +opk (I give up, I'm going to keep calling them opks, too, since we all in the ttc world know what we really mean, lol), but there's a first time for everything I guess.

Interesting that I also had o pain the same day as the +opk, though (it just wasn't as intense). Either it was A) Egg #1 and Tues was Egg #2... or Dirol My ovary was just hurting in anticipation of o'ing. I tend to think it was the latter, and that being the case, our chances definitely went down being that I didn't o until 3 days after BD. I was kind of hoping we'd be able to BD Wed morning, but when I woke up, DH was getting up to go get ready for work. Oh well, not gonna sweat it.

All day yesterday I was bloated again, and then last night I went pee like ten times in an hour. I am not kidding you. Now granted, I drank 3 glasses of water between after dinner and bedtime, but it was spread out. Who knows what that was all about.

In other news, I have started to do better again with my diet and exercise. I weighed myself and it was not pretty, so figured I'd better stop messing around with something as important as my health. I decided to start counting calories again, which is the only thing that has worked for me other than an Overeater's Anonymous group I was involved with years ago. Though I did lose the weight, it was only because I had a sponsor who told me what to eat and how much and I couldn't vary from that at all. I wasn't allowed ANY sweets AT ALL. EVER. I also was not allowed ANY snacks in-between meals, whether I was stomach-growling-gnaw-someone's-foot-off-hungry or not. I was miserable and irritable most of the time and hungry a LOT. One time at a family holiday dinner, someone spilled their drink all over my plate, and I was so angry and in tears. I had brought that food with me and it was all I was allowed, so then I had to try and figure out what to substitute it with, given the foods that were available there. Then one time I got sick with the flu and had bad diarrhea, to the point that I was sooo weak, and all I felt like eating was soup, so I called my sponsor (which you had to do if you wanted to vary from the diet) and she asked me why I wanted soup. Umm, because I was deathly sick? She said No, that I couldn't have soup, because it would tempt me to veer off the diet, but that I needed to have a couple of scrambled eggs instead. Seriously? Eggs when you're that sick? Um, GAG. I don't think so! So basically I ignored her and had the soup and it didn't hurt my diet one.little.bit. After that, I decided the OE program wasn't for me. I did gain the weight back over time, but I think it's more because I felt like I had busted out of jail and finally felt free again to eat whatever I wanted, lol.

So anyway, I am going to have to learn to live with less food, period. Over time I will get used to it, I just have to bite the bullet in the meantime. I also started running again in intervals yesterday, if you can call it running. My legs felt so heavy that it felt like I had weights inside my legs, and bet I was quite the sight to watch. I probably looked like an elephant.

Today I want to start the Jillian workout again. It's so sad that I was up to Level 2 awhile back and doing so great, only to fall off the wagon after getting sick and allowing myself to get out of shape again. Oh well, at least it will be fun having Hannah doing it with me. She LOVES the "Jelly" workout, as she calls it.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
4 dpo

"Symptoms" I'm ignoring:

3 dpo ~ a little bit of nausea once or twice; nighttime gassyness
4 dpo ~ brief nausea after dinner; all day gassyness

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
5 dpo

I forgot to add hurting bbs to yesterday's (4 dpo) symptoms, started in the evening. See, told you I was ignoring them. Smile

Today's symptoms that I'm ignoring but taking note of:
~Increased smell: Early this morning while waking up, I could have sworn I caught a whiff of the cat litter box (which I keep very clean), and it's all the way on the other end of the house. I'm sure it was just my imagination, though, along with all the other funny smells today.
~Coffee tasted funny this morning.
~Nausea. Off and on, but a bit more frequent today.
~Mild cramps off and on
~BBs hurt, more frequent and more intense today.
~Needed a long nap this afternoon despite sleeping until almost 9am this morning.
~DH said I looked flush and felt warm late this afternoon (after my nap).

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

One more for 5 dpo: thirst. I can't seem to quench it.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
6 dpo

Another symptom I left off from yesterday: gassyness.

Today:
~Still thirsty.
~Nausea and hunger upon waking; nausea subsided after breakfast, came back after lunch.
~BBs still hurting.
~Still gassy off and on; was really bad early this morning, lol.

In other news, on Saturday I talked to my brother about something I had been thinking about, and it looks like I'll be working with him in his computer business now. I've been looking for something I could do from home that would make decent money. Thank you, Lord! The majority of it can be done from home via the internet and remote access, though there will be times to visit businesses in person, and when that happens I have my MIL to watch Hannah for me when she's able. Sometime down the road, once I learn the ropes, I plan to open my own computer business to serve a neighborhing county that DH and I live closer to. I'm so excited that I'll finally be able to pursue a passion of mine without having to attend and pay for school (though I might buy a few books here and there). Thursday I'll be attending a fancy business dinner with my brother. Did I mention I was excited? This might finally give us the income we need to allow my DH to pursue a dream of his: buy our own piece of property, preferably with a modest house already on it, and set up some mobile homes to rent out and start a rental business that will give us residual income which will allow us to build up a nice retirement savings.

The cat we adopted is setting in nicely now. She is staying under the bed less and in the living room/other rooms more, and is learning how to tolerate a very energetic and playful 4-year old. Smile We want to change her name to "Café" since Hannah likes that name and since her face looks kind of like a Café

Latté - it's half dark and half light, so we're starting to call her by both names so she can get used to hearing Café, then eventually we'll drop her previous name (Kimba).

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Oh yeah, I've been leaving off something else: intense cervical cramps. Been having those since yesterday. I'm not sure if that would even count as a symptom, though, as I have them right before o'ing, and then again a couple of days before AF, and I also had them with my last pregnancy (the one that ended in mc), but there was a difference with the pregnancy in that it started in the 2ww (about the middle, I think?) and remained continuous all the way up until the mc.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 2, but "possibly" still 11 or 12 dpo??

So AF supposedly showed yesterday, EARLY, complete with cramps. Only problem is, the cramps were only on one side, near my ovary, and it even hurt to walk. I had to take 3 ibuprofen for the pain. Then today, no cramps except for the occasional twinge, and the super light flow from yesterday has stopped and I've only had a small amount of spotting. And I do mean SMALL amount.

Also, my temp went UP this morning. But when I tested, still BFN. I suppose AF is just getting off to a rocky start? I guess all I can do is wait to see what happens at this point.

Yesterday was our 5th wedding anniversary. DH got me a nice card, and took me to dinner at a great seafood restaurant. I ordered the deviled crab and it was VERY yummy. I had not had deviled crab in ages. Somehow I managed to FORGET to get DH a card, though, for the very first time! I had planned to get him one while out running errands with Hannah the day before yesterday, but somehow it slipped my mind. I couldn't believe it. He said he didn't care, and that it was no big deal, but I'm still going to get him one, it will just be a little late.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
12 or 13 dpo

So apparently that wasn't AF showing up the other day. Still just spotting today.

When I woke up this morning and temped, it had gone up some more. So I got my hopes up, naturally, and figured I'd test again.

Went in the guest bathroom and closed the door, took out the new package of Answer brand tests I had just bought, and as I was starting to open it, our cat pushed the door open, and the door squeaked. Ack, dang cat, I'm trying to do this quietly here so I don't wake up DH! So much for giving the cat her breakfast before going in the bathroom and hoping it would keep her occupied. LOL. I closed the door again, but since the door frame is messed up, it doesn't close tight. I managed to get the box of tests open, though, before little miss "I-don't-think-the-door-should-be-closed" opens it again with her paw. This time the door REALLY squeaked, and then BANGED against the wall. GRRR. I gave up and left the door open, then proceeded to pee and dip. The next 3 minutes seemed like an eternity, and I pretended not to be staring at the test window while I waited. After about a minute or so, I knew it would be negative, so I finished up and got up to wash my hands. Just then DH walked down the hallway, but there wasn't time to hide the test, so I just moved it over, hoping he wouldn't see. He asked if I was okay and I said, a little more cheerfully than usual, I'm sure: "Yes, I'm fine." I was hoping he'd just poke his head around the corner to talk to me, but noooo, he had to walk by and go check on Hannah in her bedroom. Uh-huh. Like he was really checking on Hannah. :roll: Then he walked back by, walking kind of slow as he did, and went on back to our bedroom. I stared at the white space on the test one more time before putting it in the cabinet, then went back to bed myself. DH turned over and got all snuggly with me and all smiles and asked, "So how did the testing and all of that go?" Lol So I told him. I thought he'd say something like, "But why don't you just wait to see if your period starts?" (He thinks I shouldn't test until I'm like 3 weeks late, lol), but instead, he was actually very understanding and didn't seem to mind at all that I was testing early. Phew. Smile

So anyway, guess I should expect AF to be here when she's actually due, which is either tomorrow or Tuesday, based on my average cycle length, and depending on which day I o'd. This next month I am definitely going to chart the entire month, because it's been too confusing to try and figure out which day I really o'd.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

So tonight my gums started to hurt, I mean REALLY hurt, mainly on the right side, and then when I brushed my teeth, they bled a little. That can be a pg symptom, but I don't get why I'd have that because I really thought I was out? The spotting today definitely began to take on the appearance of my typical pre-AF spotting.

Guess we'll see what tomorrow's temp looks like.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Temp drop. AF. Oh well.

So now I have to wonder if that dream I had a couple of months back might come true. I dreamt that I was pregnant with #2, and that my due date was Jan 1. It seemed so real, too. Guess we shall see. If I ovulagate ( on the right day, I could very well have an EDD of Jan 1. Or maybe it means that's when the baby will actually be born?

Can I just say, though.. I have been SO irritable with this round of AF. Yesterday I felt like I could bite someone's head off, chew it up, and spit it out. Wow. Hannah was really getting on my nerves. A sassy 4-yr old + wicked PMS = disaster. Well almost. I didn't actually throw anything at her or yell at the top of my lungs or anything like that. LOL. But I did get annoyed. Oh boy did I ever. At one point when DH was getting on to her and she had to sit on the couch in "time out," she looked at both of us and said, "Here are two buttons, one for you (me) and one for you (DH). I'm going to push them both and make you go away." Can you believe the NERVE of that little girl? Lol All because she wanted to torture the cat, and we wouldn't let her. LOL.

Anywhooo. So today I've had wicked AF cramps, and I've been pretty lazy where housework is concerned. I've taken care of Hannah, did her Preschool time, made up the bed, put on two loads of laundry, and done a little work for my new business and that's about it. Oh and washed a few dishes and cleaned the new sink that was just put in, or at least part of it. But I really need to vacuum Hannah's bedroom and sweep the hallway and clean the guest bathroom. That is supposed to be my chores for Mondays. I also need to find time this week to clean out my two refrigerators. They really need it!

I'm also sulking a little, because I just found out about a friend who got pregnant and they weren't even trying. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy for her, she totally deserves it, but I can't help but feel hurt that we have tried so hard for so long and have nothing to show for our efforts. But I am being selfish, and I need to stop. Yes, it hurts, and yes, it seems unfair, but God is still on His throne and still in control and... you know what? I haven't even been praying that hard about it anyway. I've mentioned it briefly in prayer here or there, kind of hit and miss over the past 'almost' three years now, but haven't gotten real serious about it yet. Not sure why? When we were trying to concieve Hannah, DH and I prayed I think every single day until we conceived, and it only took two months that way. Maybe it's time I got more serious about praying. After all, what does Scripture say? "The fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much."

Better get off here now and try to get my chores for today done because then it will be time to start dinner. Hannah will be waking from her nap soon (she fell asleep on the couch while playing, lol).

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 9

I got a nice package in the mail yesterday. It was like Christmas! In it was:

~Two big bundles of IC hpts and IC opks (IC meaning "Internet Cheapie")
~ One FRER
~ A fertility monitor!

I was so excited and can't believe the generosity of my friend. It's a little sad, too, though... the reason she sent them to me is because she recently had a miscarriage, and at the time she sent them she decided she was done with ttc Sad Thankfully she changed her mind and has decided to continue ttc after all, just not using opks or anything. I pray she will be blessed abundantly for her generosity! She could have sold those items and made decent money from them. I offered to pay her but she refused. So sweet of her!

And of course I tested with an opk not long after getting the package. It had been awhile since I had fluids, after all. Smile It was negative, of course.. it's a little early for me to be O'ing, but I couldn't resist.

I decided to do the full charting thing this month, as it drove me bonkers last month not knowing exactly which day to expect AF, since she was toying with me again, making me think she had started, when she was only teasing, just like the month before. *Grumble grumble* If I can pinpoint my O day, then I'll know if I'm getting just heavy spotting or REAL AF.

I have to say, though, I have not really felt like temping the past few days. Not sure why I'm so blah about it, you'd think it would just be more of a habit now, like brushing my teeth, but instead my arm has felt like lead trying to reach over and pick that thermometer up, and have almost not bothered. Maybe I'll take a day off here or there until it gets closer to my normal range of O time, though my temp has already taken that downward shift, so it makes me suspicious that I might O on the earlier side. Hmmm, CD 14 maybe? Which would make my EDD Jan 1? Smile

In other news, I've put some weight back on, so yesterday I decided it was time to get back on the bandwagon. I did the calorie-counting thing yesterday, but was sooo hungry that I wound up going over my calorie limit, so after giving it some thought, I've decided to try the low carb route again. Any time I've ever done that, hunger was not generally a problem, and even on days when it was, I could always eat a little more protein and still lose weight. The issue with that type of diet for me has always been sticking to it. It's not easy to do when the typical American diet is so high-carb, plus the fact that I grew up on a high-carb diet, so it's what I'm used to. We'll see how it goes this time. I feel like calling myself the Great Vacillater. I have vacillated so much between types of diets I've wanted to use or try, it's just nuts. :rolleyes: I really hope this one sticks. And just for clarification, the type of low carb diet I"m talking about doing is mostly just cutting waaay back on breads and pastas and rice (and refined carbs) and sticking more to fruits and veggies (and milk, in moderation) as my main carb source, and eating more lean protein, sticking mostly with poultry and fish, with some red meat thrown in there once in awhile. Wish me luck, I really want to get this weight off once and for all and get healthy.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

And PS: Not saying I will never have bread or pasta or rice, it will just be more rare, and in smaller amounts.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Note to those who might be reading my journal: I'm allowing comments now, so feel free if you want to. Smile

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Mary, thanks for opening up your journal! I love reading your journal, and it makes me happy to know that I am now subscribed so I will know when you update. Smile

An EDD of Jan 1st would be GREAT! How fun would it be to have a real New Years Baby? Biggrin My fingers are (as always) crossed for you.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 10

Thanks, Alissa! :giveflower:

So my temps are acting a bit weird so far. On CD 8 I had a big temp dip, so thought I was having the classic downward temp shift that leads up to o, but instead of staying on the low side, my temps went back up, making it look like I o'd on CD 8! Ummm, not likely. So I'm not sure why my temps would be acting that way. Besides, today's opk was slightly darker, and I had Watery CM for the first time, so my guess is that tomorrow my temp will drop again and o will happen in the next few days.

In other, more interesting news (since ttc stuff is boring me lately, lol), the low carb thing has been going great so far. I lost 1/2 lb. yesterday, had more energy today, and overall just felt better. I did better on the food today than I did yesterday ~ yesterday I had 5 chicken nuggets and a frappaccino, but it was about the only carbs I had all day, so that must be why I still lost 1/2 lb. I also did the Jillian 30-day Shred workout last night, so I'm sure that helped burn off those carbs, too. Whew, I had forgotten how hard that workout is, even at Level 1! I slept like a baby last night, and even slept in this morning because I was so worn out from that workout. Then today I went for a 30-minute brisk walk at the park while pushing Hannah in the stroller (it was such a nice day for it) and incorporated the C25K program into the walk--Day One. Well at least I think I did the program, I was only guessing because I forgot to look at it again online and it's been a long time since I've done it. I need to go look at it again and print it out. Last time I couldn't because my printer was on the blitz, but now I have a new printer (which I LOVE, by the way! It's a super simple printer, it just PRINTS, and that's all I want right now. And it actually TURNS OFF when you push the off button. LOL. The other printer I had must have been possessed or something, because it was WEIRD. When I would push the off button, it would do everything BUT turn off before it actually turned off, and when I turned it on, it would make all kinds of zipping and zooming noises for an ETERNITY before finally being ready to print. It was supposed to be doing the print-head cleaning thing, but I think it cleaned the entire printer from top to bottom every time you turned it on. It was so annoying. And then when i finally got to print something, half the time it would print out these weird codes, one line across the top of the page, next sheet of paper, one line across the top of the page, next sheet.... it must have gone through twenty pages one time. Turning it off didn't stop it, either, nor would canceling the print job. I'm telling you, it was possessed). Lol

So anyway, where was I? Oh, the low carb thing. Someone pointed out to me today that I don't need to think of being on a "diet" but to think of it as changing my lifestyle. I like that. That way I think of it more in permanent terms, rather than just something temporary. And it also makes me think, "how can I make this livable for me?" Maybe this will be the key to sticking with it.:) I also discovered today--quite by accident--a GREAT substitute for all the frozen yogurt/light ice cream I'd been consuming before I started the low carb lifestyle! I made a protein shake, but decided to use almond milk instead. Here's how I made it:

1 scoop of Jillian Michael's Natural Whey Protein (Triple Chocolate Shake flavor)
1 cup ice
1 cup almond milk (the kind that's 60 cals for 1 cup)

Only 160 cals, 2.5 g fat, and 15 grams total of carbs! Smile

It turned out so thick that it was like a milkshake, and tasted AWESOME! And who knew almond milk could add such great flavor to a protein shake? Here I was worried that I would really miss my ice cream, but now I have something to take it's place! Mmmmmm Smile

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 11

Hehe, love it when I'm right. Temp went back down today Smile Makes me feel good that I know my body at least fairly well, even when it does throw me for a loop sometimes.

I was pleasantly surprised that the scale this morning showed a 3-lb. loss since yesterday! :eek: I haven't been hungry, haven't felt depirved, have had MORE energy, and yet I've lost 4 lbs. in 4 days? Wow. I think my body is responding quite well to my new low-carb lifestyle. And it hasn't been that hard this time, I think mainly because I am not being as strict about it this time. For example, I was up late last night and started to get really hungry, so I had 1/2 of a small banana with a little peanut butter smeared on. Normally I wouldn't have a banana on a low-carb diet, at least not while in the losing stage, because they are very high in carbs, about 35-40 g for one banana, depnding on the size. The peanut butter wasn't the natural kind, either, though it was Jiff, which is lower in sugar and carbs than most of the others. I allowed it because I am thinking of it in terms of developing a new lifesytle of eating that I can live with. I figured with the amount of exercise I had yesterday, 1/2 of a small banana and a little peanut butter probably wouldn't hurt me. I do admit to being a little worried that I might be losing weight too fast, as I've read that losing weight too fast isn't good for you. Tonight at dinner I think I will indulge a little more. I'm making meatballs and sauce in the crock pot, and though I don't plan to have any sauce, I'm going to eat as many meatballs as I want Smile I checked the carb content, and for 6 meatballs it isn't that bad at all, so I'm going to indulge a little Smile Now to just figure out what kind of vegetable to have along with it to replace the pasta. Hmmm, summer squash might be good, since it's stringy almost like spaghetti when you bake it and then shred it with a fork. Will have to make a trip to the store to get some.

celticbandgeek's picture
Joined: 06/14/10
Posts: 950

Hi Mary! Thanks for opening up your blog. Smile I just wanted to let you know I've been following you and keeping my fingers crossed for you. I'm so glad the low carb thing is working well for you!

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Thanks, Jean! It's always kind of nice to know who's "following me." Smile I'm really rooting for you and hope that hpt was the real deal! Can't wait to see an update.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
2 dpo

I started to put what CD I was on but then couldn't even remember and had to go look. Then I realized that DUH, I didn't need to put the CD since I was in the 2WW. LOL. It was a good feeling to know I'm not obsessing like I used to, though. Actually, I'm at the point now where I don't even want to obsess.

I remembered to use the digi opks that were donated to me this time around ~ only problem is, I couldn't get a smiley face, despite the IC opks I was using showing an obvious positive. One thing it did do, though, is make me want to keep testing (thinking the IC opk wasn't quite there yet since the digi was negative, despite looking like it was), so I was able to catch the peak of my surge and get a blazing positive, which rarely happens for me.

And if I am correct on my O day, we got in some "good" BD the same day I O'd, which gives me a better chance than normal. We shall see. I'm going to try and keep busy this 2ww so I don't have to think about it.

So... the low-carb thing has been going well, except I have recently decided to make a few minor changes which I hope will be for the better. Details are in my Blog for those who are interested (link is in siggy--see the entry titled, 'Fine-tuning my plan'). I've been staying consistent with the exercise, too, yay me. Yesterday I did Week 2, Workout 1 of the C25K plan, which was the next level up. It was a bit tougher, this girl was so done when I got to the end of the last running interval. Then not five seconds after I stopped to do my cool-down walk, I saw an old friend of mine, walking with her sister. I almost didn't recognize her, it had been so long since I had seen her. Might have had something to do with the sweat in my eyes, too. Here I was all red-faced and sweaty with no makeup on and I just had to run into an old friend, right? :rolleyes: What's ironic is that she actually said I looked great! :shock: I started to ask her, "Have you had your eyes checked lately?" Lol She said she and her sister were going to run in a 5K at the end of the month and asked if I wanted to join them, but I told her I didn't think I'd be ready by then. She said, "Oh but my sister is just going to walk," then she looked at her sister and said, "aren't you?" Her sister nodded and smiled. I just said, "Oh, okay" cheerfully and said I'd think about it and we parted ways then, but I didn't have to think about it long. I know me, competetive me. There is NO way I could "walk" a 5K run. I'd be busting my butt, huffing and puffing, trying to run the entire thing, despite by then having only been running again for... let's see... 4 weeks? Um, no. Better not. Unless I happen to make HUGE progress between now and then.

This morning we BD and I was hoping to get one last "good" session in for good measure, since not having cameras that can look inside our uteruses, we don't really know for sure when we ovulate, despite O pains, temps, opks, etc. But *Sigh* it didn't go well. In fact, it was quite frustrating. A p.org friend recently suggested trying MACA, which are supposed to have great benefits not only for overall health, but in the bedroom, too, so I am seriously considering getting some. The L-arginine just hasn't done the trick. In fact, I stopped taking the supps because the protein powder I'm using on a regular basis now (nearly every day, sometimes twice a day) has that in it, so I'm covered.

DH was supposed to have made a dr. appt., but he has found other, more important things to use the money for (we are currently self-pay). I know he will do it eventually, but in the meantime, I want to try and convince him to take the MACA, once I can get it. Hmmm sure would be nice if I could have a friend of ours (a man) tell him about it, then he'd probably be all for it. LOL. I'm just the old "ball and chain." What do I know? (Kidding, of course... my DH doesn't really see me that way. But you know how it is with men listening to their wives about what "they" need to do Lol

The new "work from home" job is going well, I'm starting to get more work now. I love being busier, but I must say, it can be quite challenging trying to work with my DD interrupting me every five minutes for this or that, even when I try to set her up with something fun to do (or even schoolwork, which she loves). The problem is, she gets bored with things pretty quickly and wants to move on to something else. Today is an exception, she has been playing happily on her own for almost an hour now. Naturally it's on a day when I don't have much work to do, right? Gotta love it. :rolleyes: I'm not complaining, though, I just need to figure out the best way to keep her occupied while I work. I love being able to work from home, so much flexibility on when I work (except when there's more urgent work to be done). Like yesterday, for example, it worked out best for me to wait to work on a particular project until the end of the day, while eating dinner and then afterward, though admittedly I was starting to get more tired the later it got. But I finished proofreading it just as I was about to get too sleepy. Worked out good.

Well time to get off here and get busy. Got lots to do.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
3 dpo

FF gave me CHs today after I took off the override, so I guess it's official. I'm looking at my temps with a suspicious eye, though, they aren't rising much at all so far. It's not the first time, though, so maybe over the next couple of days my temp will rise a little more. I need to go view some pg charts on FF and see how common it is to have such a slow rise.

This morning my butt was dragging. So much so that I had to hold it once I got out of bed to keep it from dragging on the floor. Man, was I ever one tired puppy. Coffee was my very best friend this morning. Though it wasn't long and I was feeling tired again, and another shot of caffeine via tea at lunch time didn't help one bit. I "almost" stopped at Starbucks to get my zing on, but then got a little burst of energy again so I decided not to. Then on the way back home I was wishing I had. Actually, it was supposed to be "on the way to the park to get my run in," but I didn't make it because it was getting too late by the time I left Wally World (Walmart). Which brings me to a question: Why is it that every time I go to Walmart intending to only pick up one or two items, I always spend way too long looking at way too many things and almost always buy things I don't really need? Thankfully this time I really thought about what I needed and put a few things back. Go me, I was strong! I resisted those subtle, subliminal messages that I just know Walmart sneaks in somehow to make us want to browse more and buy more. :rolleyes:

So anyway, I decided that a little while after dinner I would do the Jillian 30-day Shred DVD with Hannah since I wouldn't be running today. Man oh man did I ever NOT feel like doing it. And the bloat. Oh my WORD, why was I so bloated all of the sudden after dinner? I mean, all day today I've been doing so good on keeping my carbs to a minimum (to make up for yesterday's pizza), which usually is like a 100% guarantee of no bloat for me, and dinner was just chicken breast and mixed vegetables, and a cup of milk. :dontknow: But I ignored the tiredness and bloat and JUST DID IT. So glad I did! Much to my surprise, once I got going with it, I felt so strong and energetic! Something felt different, I even felt more flexible than usual. By the time I got to cool down I was tired again, though, and so ready to stop.

I am still bloated, too. I drank more water, thinking that if I'm retaining fluid it would help my body get rid of it, but wow... it feels like I have a giant water balloon in my stomach and intestine!

I have more to say, but I'm getting very sleepy now. Better go to bed....

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
7 dpo

*Sore boobs.
*Morning tiredness (hard time getting out of bed).
*Tonight - major heartburn after eating wings (was only a mild, honey mustard sauce).
*Temps are on a slow incline (but not all that impressive).

I'm down a total of 6 lbs. now in just over 2 weeks. So exciting! Smile It seems like ever since I fine-tuned my eating plan and started eating bread again in the form of the sprouted grain kind, the weight has been melting off! Now granted, I've been putting in the exercise, too, but it's not like I'm killing myself. I've been doing the Jillian workout twice a week, which is 30 min total including the warm-up and cool-down, and the C25K program 3x a week for 25 min each session.

On Sunday I even cheated a little and had some movie theater popcorn (with butter) and some Coke, did zero exercise that day, and STILL lost 1/2 lb. the next day! Was so happy that the popcorn and Coke didn't hurt me (I did share size small of each with my DH and DD, but as we all know, "small" in movie theater terms is not exactly small!).

Yesterday I could have kicked myself, though. When I did W3W3 of the C25K program and used a different method to calculate my running intervals, I realized I had not been doing enough running intervals for the first two workouts of Week 3! When I did it correctly, it was a lot tougher. Needless to say, I'll be continuing Week 3 a bit longer. It's okay, though, at least I built up to it more gradually.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
8 dpo

*Sore bbs, comes and goes - thinking now it's just PMS
*Increased hunger starting this afternoon (again, PMS)

My temp this morning went down slightly. Overall my temps are running so much lower than they normally do post-O. Not sure what to think about that, except that I"m pretty sure this is not "the" cycle. Guess that dream I had was just that: a dream. My DD did say something interesting recently, too, told my DH (I wasn't there) that we would have a baby next year. Was probably just a random thing, though, since last week she told me that "she" wants a baby and has been oooing and awwwing over every baby she sees (and just "has" to go and see them :)).

BFN on ICs today, too (hey I had bunches of them that were donated to me, so why not, right? ;)).

Did Week 3, Workout 3-b today of the C25K. lol. I hope after doing "3-c" I'll be able to move on to Week 4. Today was slightly easier, but I didn't push myself quite as hard. It's like they tell you with the program, don't worry about speed in the beginning, just focus on jogging the distance/time. I don't want to be one of those slow runners, though, haha, so I am trying to push myself, just didn't push quite as hard today. It's starting to get hot here in FL, though! Once I was done with the run at the park today and had to use the bathroom, I had to throw cold water on myself because I was feeling so hot and a bit woozy. So I'm thinking I gotta change my schedule and start running in the mornings when it's cooler! Plus we will start getting those "afternoon thunderstorms" soon that FL is so notorious for in the summer.

Speaking of "summer," Hannah was begging and pleading with me to take her to the beach today. All it did was irritate me, because 1) I would have LOVED to go, but knew I wouldn't have time, because A) I had insomnia last night and kept waking up/not being able to go back to sleep, and Dirol on top of that, Hannah woke up at 3:00, then again at 6:00 and wanted to get up for the day, and so 2) I slept late as a result and didn't start my day until 10-freaking-a-clock which put me way behind schedule, so there was no WAY I'd have time to go to the beach, so how "dare" she "beg" me to go and not take no for an answer? Lol

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
12 dpo

Well my temps went up and have stayed up the past 3 days, got my hopes up a little, too, but...as of late this afternoon still getting a negative hpt, and... spotting yesterday and today, more spotting.:(

On to next month. Such a waste of a pretty chart.

The good news is, my pre-AF spotting is so much lighter this month.

Moving on to more exciting news. I did Week 3, Workout 3-c on Friday. It was a little easier this time. Not EASY by any means, but easier. I think one more workout on Week 3 and I'll be ready to move on to Week 4. I just need to make sure I remember to do it first thing in the morning, doing it in the heat wears me out. I did the Jillian workout on Thu and Sat this past week. I'm debating whether or not to add a 3rd Jillian workout on Tue so that the workouts aren't so spaced out, but I'll be doing cleaning/moving boxes/organizing for two hours for my MIL on Tuesday mornings now, so I don't know if I want to add the J workout on top of that.

Speaking of cleaning and organizing, there is so much around my OWN house that I need to get done it isn't even funny. My vehicle is also due for another cleaning. Somehow, some way, I've got to figure out how to get it done.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
13 dpo

Yesterday evening hpt was still negative. Spotting began to get heavier. So... WHY did my temp go up HIGHER this morning???? And naturally I didn't have any more hpts on hand, didn't see a reason to buy more when I ran out yesterday. But I did take an IC opk, and it was negative (opks can pick up hcg, too), so maybe it's good I didn't waste an hpt.

I guess my temp won't drop til tomorrow, when AF is due to arrive.

Different subject: I am beyond frustrated about something right now and I am determined to do something about it.

I want a clean, organized, clutter-free house. And mini-van.
I want to go through all the STUFF I have in the storage trailer and PURGE.
I have yet to accomplish the above, I've tried, but haven't gotten very far.
Something has to change.

My house is a mess. It's disorganized and cluttered. There is so much purging to be done, it's not even funny. And as far as cleaning, I don't expect it to be spotless, but having the whole house clean at one time would be nice.

So here is my plan of action so far:

1. By June 30, 2011 (my birthday), I will have a clean and organized house and maybe even storage trailer, and my mini-van will be clean and clutter-free on a REGULAR basis (will set a certain day each week to do it).

2. I will create a weekly schedule that I think I can stick to for accomplishing the above, and STICK TO IT. Even if I only spend one hour a day on it, consistency is the key.

3. I will spend LESS time on the computer. My main time-consumer is this Site, PG.org. I've said this before and not stuck to it, because I have a hard time keeping my replies/posts short, plus I try to post on ALL the boards I frequent every single day, more than once a day. THIS HAS TO STOP. I must pick and choose which boards to visit on which days, and stick to ONCE a day for most of them.

Wish me luck.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
13 dpo (PM)

I had such a nice run this afternoon. My DD was BEGGING me to go to the beach and wouldn't take no for an answer. I told her I wasn't sure we'd have time and that "we'll see," but then a few minutes later she went looking for her bathing suit and when she couldn't find it she asked me where it was. I told her, not thinking she would actually go get it because 1) it was in MY dresser, and 2) it was in the TOP drawer, which I didn't think she could reach (I have a taller-type dresser). Next thing I know, she shows up holding her bathing suit, getting all excited and telling me to put it on her! Lil' stinker. That's the very reason I had it in MY dresser, so that she wouldn't be getting it out constantly and bugging me about going! LOL. Now I'll have to find a new hiding place. Anyway, she was so excited about going that I went ahead and put it on her and decided I'd put off doing a few things so we could go.

I'm glad I did. I went to my dad & step mom's place, which is only about a block from the beach, and parked there. After we went to the beach, I put on my tennis shoes, put Hannah in the stroller, and went for my run. I decided to go ahead and do Week 4 of the C25K and was a little nervous that I'd be ready for it, because it involves 4 intervals of 3 minutes straight of running. I was worried for nothing, I did just fine. After the 2nd interval, I could actually feel myself getting stronger, and I had so much more energy tonight!

I got more done around the house than usual today, too, and actually had the energy to clean ALL the dishes after dinner (pots included). This was after making black bean & rice tacos from scratch, which I hardly ever used to do (didn't make the tortillas, but everything else was from scratch--the beans started out as dry beans, the cheese was grated from a block, and I did the taco seasoning myself using minced garlic, chili powder, cumin, oregano, onion, olive oil, chives, salt & pepper, and diced tomatoes. It was very tasty Smile

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Oh yeah. How could I forget. Wanted to share what my DD did tonight.

She was in the bathroom a little too long, so I went to check on her, and found her putting makeup on with one of my makeup brushes --but guess what she was using for makeup? Blistex (the white, creamy kind). It was priceless. ROFL

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
CD 3

*Ding ding ding!* Round #2,048! ... And... she's down for the count! Will she get up before the count gets to ten! Ahh yes, she got up, just in the nick of time! But she won't be finishing the fight just now, she's going to take a little break and come back later.

AF showed up, just as expected.

I'm taking a VACATION this month! From charting, that is. And I do mean a VAY-CA-TION. No opks, no temping, no checking CM. NOTHING. I shall be in ignorant bliss, waking up every morning when I feel like it, RELAXING, having NO WORRIES about ttc.

My focus will be on continuing to lose weight and getting in shape, and on getting my house in order. I have yet to make that schedule for making it happen, need to do that soon. Maybe I need schedule a session to schedule my week. LOL.

My brother told me today he'd be giving me at least 5 hours more per week of work to do, so I was happy to hear that. And what I will be doing will actually help lead to more work for him, and therefore even MORE work for me Smile

I recently joined SparkPeople when a friend recommended it and I decided to check it out. I LOVE it so far, it is really helping me stay on track with my food and has lots of other great tools on the Site to keep me motivated. It gives me a meal plan and I can either just check off the foods or add my own food in and it tracks the calories for me (also the fat, carbs, protein, etc.). I can't wait to weigh in on Monday, it feels like I've lost some more weight this week, clothes are getting a little looser.

As for the Couch to 5K program, I need to make a correction to my previous post. I thought I was entering Week 4, when in fact I was only entering Week 3, and I also goofed on the running schedule for Week 3. I ran 3 min and walked 2 min for 4 intervals, when I was supposed to only be doing 2 intervals of 90 sec running/90 sec walking, then 1 interval of 3 min running and 3 min walking. Oops. I decided just to stay at that level to finish out the week, rather than downgrade.

So Day 2 of Week 3, which was Wed, went well, except it was so hot that it wore me out. The first running interval was a breeze, I wasn't even out of breath. But the 2nd and 3rd intervals were harder, and on the 4th one I REALLY had to push and finally gave out, but thankfully it was right at the end of that interval, so I made it! Phew. I MUST find a way to run in the EARLY MORNINGS, though!

Today was Jillian workout day, and it was also "Challenge my Patience" day because my dear, sweet, 4-yr old daughter was driving me up the WALL, bless her little heart. I am SO BEAT right now and too tired to even get into it. Told DH I need a break from mommyhood, so he's going to give me some time off sometime over the weekend. Can't be tomorrow because we have a Missions dinner to attend at DH's sister's church, though we will be leaving Hannah at her grandma's, so that will be a nice break (I do love her :)).

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
6 dpo

JLIH this month was so relaxing... and then... right around the avg time for me to O, we got a nice surprise. BD was "successful"... naturally, no extra effort required (not that we would have put in the extra effort anyway)! Smile

So knowing it was around O time for me, naturally I tested with an ovulation test that same morning, and... it was a +! Then the next morning I got another + :shock: That almost never happens for me. Usually it's just one positive opk and that's it. So maybe I had a stronger LH surge? Not sure if that would mean anything good, necessarily.

The question is... was this just a random coincidence, or... meant to be?? Only time will tell I guess.

I decided to pick temping back up for the 2ww... couldn't help myself after the successful BD... was too curious Smile Seems O was confirmed for the day after we BD, so I couldn't help but be a little hopeful.

Today at 6 dpo my temp dropped pretty low, though... below my "average" coverline, actually, though i don't really know what this month's coverline would have been since I didn't temp at all until the day after the +opk (O day). Hopefully it's an implantation dip and my temp will go back up nicely tomorrow. Or it may mean nothing at all (trying to remain on an even keel there :)).

Possible Symptoms:
Sore bbs off and on since 3 dpo.

That's about it! At least that's the only 'possible' symptom I'm "noticing." Oh, and yesterday I was lightheaded and shaky after lunch, but I think that was because I didn't eat lunch until about 2:15pm. Though it's odd that it happened after lunch.

As for the Couch to 5K, this past Friday I had a proud moment. Ran 20 minutes straight for the first time in my entire life! Yahoo Could.not.believe.it. It was a great feeling. Of course, then I think I got ahead of myself and thought I was suddenly this great athlete, because Saturday night I did the Jillian workout (on Level 2 now) and pushed myself really hard. Lol So then on Monday when I did my run (the schedule had me back down to intervals again), I was barely able to run half the distance and had to walk the rest of the way Sad Then afterward, my back went out of commission and has been ever since. So I've been making the best of it and walking, though even walking has been tough. The good news is, yesterday my back finally started to take a turn for the better, and I was able to walk at a brisk pace again, so I'm hoping by Monday I'll be back in business with the running! Unless I get a BFP by then of course. Then I'll have to decide whether or not to keep running for the first trimester before backing off to just brisk walking. Would have to discuss it with my doctor. At least if I don't get a BFP, I'll have something to look forward to. Running my first 5K sometime this summer!

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

Wow, I can't believe it's been 3 weeks since I posted here!

Update on ttc: This month I thought for sure I was out, even before I o'd. DH began to have some new medical issues that made ttc literally impossible. I continued to chart anyway, and even did OPKs starting at CD 11 (I think it was?). Good thing I did! My temps and CM did weird things, so if I had not done the opks, I would not have known which day I really O'd (unless I went by the all-day o pain and tenderness alone). AND...we just happened to have a date night the day that I o'd, too. We decided to eat at home and stay in, maybe watch a movie or just talk. So after dropping off our DD at her grandma's, we went home. It went PERFECTLY! Not only was the dinner I made SCRUMPTIOUS, we had a lot of "fun," if you catch my drift Wink It was such a nice surprise Smile So another month of things suddenly working right at my O time! I wonder what the chances of that are? I thought last time might not be just a coincidence, but this time I really have to wonder if it's 'just coincidence,' since this is the 2nd month it has happened, AND....we only BD one other time before that this month, which was right after AF ended. Again, what are the chances?

Update on losing weight: I'm down 13.5 lbs now. Only 22.5 more lbs to go to get to my goal weight. When I weighed in the 160s for the first time last week, I could not believe the number on the scale. I seriously thought something was wrong with it! LOL. This week I maintained, but it's okay. There will be weeks like that. I'm trying something a little different this upcoming week, so we'll see how it goes.

Update on Couch to 5K: I am now in Week 7! Well, sort of. Wk 6, Day 3 was 25 min, or 2.25 miles of running without stopping, which I accomplished last Wed. But then on Sat morning (it was supposed to be Fri, but things happened and I wasn't able to run that day), I really struggled! My legs felt like lead right from the start, and it was pure torture even to run for 12 min straight. All total, I only ran about 2 miles, if that. I thought I might have to go back and repeat Week 6 from the beginning, but then this morning I did much better and was able to run 2 miles straight without stopping, and... I ran it in 21 min, which was my best pace yet! Smile So I really think I was just having an off day on Sat. Interestingly enough, that was the day that I o'd! Maybe our bodies use up more energy than we realize when we ovulate. AT any rate, I'm hoping that on Wed this week I'll be able to run 25 min again and keep up the good pace I had today.

Update on getting the house in order: It hasn't happened :confused: I had an excuse the week my back was hurting so badly, but after that... no'p, no excuse, just plain old laziness :rolleyes: I can't be too hard on myself, though... I have been exercising 6 days a week, and working on increasing my running time, which I'm sure takes it's toll. I do hope to start on getting organized soon, though.

I will be doing "some" organizing this week, as I need to sort through and pack up any newborn to 3 mo sizes, as well as 2T-4T to give to some ladies in need of them. Finally, a good excuse to finally let go. I have been holding on to those clothes, not really consciously, I don't think, but unconsciously I've been keeping them as a sign of hope that we might get pg with #2, and that it might be a girl. But it's time to let them go now. I can always buy more if we did get pg again (and it stuck). Besides, maybe it will be a boy?

I have more to post, but there's another storm brewing and I want to get this posted. More later...

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
10 dpo

Well my chart WUZ looking pretty good so far this 2WW, probably the best one yet as far as how my temps just kept going up and up, until this morning when I had a big drop. At first I thought AF might be getting ready to show up early, as I had some red spotting on the TP and cramps. The spotting didn't last long, though, and then went away. So I tested with a FRER this evening, but it was a BFN. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

This past Wed, I attempted to run 25 min again, but it was yet another difficult run. Come to find out later, it was because I was getting sick. The diarrhea had started that morning before my run, but at the time just thought it was something I ate the night before. It turned out to be a nasty stomach virus and lasted five days. I never puked, but the diarrhea was pretty severe and very frequent. Sat morning I was so weak and lethargic that we thought I might be getting dehydrated, so DH took me to the E.R. They started an IV on me and after a full bag of fluid, I felt much better. Bloodwork came back good, and I tested negative for a bacterial type infection, so the diagnosis was gastro-enteritis, which is viral. The next day (Sun), the diarrhea slowed down considerably, then yesterday I had none and felt much better except for nausea. Today I was even better, with only off and on nausea.

I tell you, you don't appreciate normal food very much until you do without it for a few days, lol. Everything tasted so much better to me once I was able to eat normally again.

Last week I wound up losing 3.5 lbs total, only 1 lb of that was lost before I got sick, so the rest was due to the diarrhea and lack of food. I probably would have lost more if I had not been drinking so much Gatorade to keep myself hydrated.

I fully expect to gain some back this week, though, with eating normal again and the fact that AF will probably be here soon. It's okay, though, I'll lose it again.

I was doing really well with my diet today up until this afternoon while at the mall. Normally the ice cream place there doesn't bother me. It's right next to the play area in plain view, and I take Hannah there to the play area quite often, and I very rarely get ice cream there, knowing how high in calories and fat their ice cream is. But today, I don't know if it's PMS cravings or what, but I just HAD to have some ice cream. I decided to try a new flavor, called Pretzel Combination, which was a mixture of pretzel ice cream, chocolate-covered pretzels, chocolate syrup (I had them go easy on the syrup), and pecans. YUM. It was awesome. I ordered the kids' size cup, but the server accidentally scooped out the size small, but then only charged me for the kids' size. Hannah wanted chocolate ice cream with teddy grahams (kids' size).

I had planned to do the Jillian workout tonight to burn it off, but it just didn't happen. By the time I got done with cooking dinner, cleaning up afterward, and finishing up some laundry I started earlier today, it was too late and I was too tired. My eyes are drooping as I type this. So... I'm guessing I ate too much today. I'll have to try and make up for it tomorrow.

I must say, though, I am very pleased with the changes I've made overall to my eating lifestyle and activity level. Even when I have a treat, I stick to the smallest size. I make healthier food choices overall now. And I am sticking to a regular, consistent exercise program when I am physically able. I've come a long way, and I thank the Dear Lord for giving me the strength to do it.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
13 dpo

Day 4 of spotting, and I'm still waiting on AF to show up full force. I was going to just wait until she started for real to change my chart, but decided to go ahead and change it today. Of course, by the time someone reads this, AF will probably have started for real anyway and they won't know what I'm talking about, LOL.

Once again this month, my body made me think AF was starting when it really wasn't. I really need to wait it out from now on to make sure it really is AF. What made me think it was in fact AF this time is that my temp had dropped so low. Next time I will wait longer, though.

It is strange that I had the big temp drop so early, at only 10 dpo, and it even went below the coverline, but then it went back up above the coverline again, and has been inching up ever since. Only slightly above the coverline, though, so I'm not getting excited, that's for sure. This is just a different cycle, that's all, and AF should start for real by tomorrow. I'm debating whether or not to buy a 2-pack of FRERs today and test again "just in case." I know if I buy them, I'll use at least one, and it would probably be a waste of a good test.

My stomach has been bothering me, but I think it was something I ate yesterday. BBs are sore, too, but it's probably just PMS. With the cramps I've been having (none too bad yet, but still...), surely AF is just around the corner.

I plan to join a gym today so that I can have a place to run on a treadmill on bad weather days or days when I don't feel like getting up so early. Hoping I can find one that isn't too far away that isn't too expensive and that has child care. I'm going to go ahead and work out at a gym today, too (run on a treadmill). Hoping I haven't lost too much ground, but it's okay if I have, I'll just work my way back up again.

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859
6 dpo

In the 2ww again, but I don't have much hope at all for this cycle. This month I didn't do opks, but figured I'd O at the usual time. Wrong! OOPS. According to my temps and CM and FF's interpretation of them, I O'd earlier, on CD 14, so we didn't do the 'extra effort' thing to ensure insem, and even then, the last time we BD before O day was 4 days prior. We did BD the morning after I supposedly O'd, but... well... the egg was likely already gone by then, PLUS, chances are pretty slim without insem unless there was a very frisky "escapee." Ha ha ha. Not likely Lol So... far as I'm concerned, I'm out for this month. Onward to next month! Smile So weird that I still hold on to a tiny spark of hope that by some miracle it happened anyway, though. :rolleyes:

In other, more interesting news, I am now at the halfway point in my weight loss journey! Yahoo AND... am officially within my healthy weight range! (I'm 5' 8") At the top of range, but still...within it! I'm not within my IDEAL weight range yet, but hopefully I'll be there soon Smile Some days I have to pinch myself to make sure what I'm seeing on the scale is for real. I'm in the 160s now? When did THAT happen? :eek: I haven't been below 170 in YEARS!!! And as of this morning, starting to get close to the 150s! Down to 161.5 now (I won't change my ticker until my "official" weigh-in day on Monday, though.)

I'm at Level 2 now of the Jillian 30-Day Shred workout DVD. I thought I was doing so great and ready to move up to Level 3, but then DH suggested I wait until I could do the 'Advanced' version of Level 2 first. There are 2 girls to follow (besides Jillian, who acts as more of a 'coach') during the workout, one is the 'beginner' version and the other is the 'advanced' version.

I had been kind of switching back and forth between the two girls, doing some moves more like the beginner version and some like the advanced version. I felt like it was getting too easy, so I followed DH's suggestion and decided to do the ENTIRE Level 2 workout following the advanced girl (who I like to affectionately call "Amazon woman." :lol:). Wow, was I surprised! It was so much more physically taxing! Now THAT is a workout, honey child (

Then DH burst my bubble even more by informing me that I was sticking my butt up in the air during the push-ups. Here I was all proud and excited that I was starting to be able to do a full push-up, doing almost all the way down, when he told me my form was all wrong. So after pushing my butt down and tucking it in and doing it again, I couldn't go back up and fell to the floor laughing and groaning! ROFL Oh well... I'll get there.

As for my running, it hasn't been going too well, and I'm not sure why. I made it all the way to Week 7 of the 9-week program, then I got sick for a week with a stomach virus, which was around the first week of June, and since then have only been able to run 20 minutes/2 miles straight again ONE TIME... the rest of the time, the most I've been able to run is 10 minutes straight at one time, then I have to stop and walk before I can run again. Two days ago, my run was REALLY tough, I struggled the ENTIRE time, so today I decided to back down a little bit and build back up again, so I ran three 5-minute intervals with 3 min of walking in-between (with a 5-min warm-up and cool-down walk, of course). Sweat was pouring off of me, and this was in an air-conditioned gym! Oh well, I'll just keep at it, and hopefully soon I'll see a big jump in progress again.

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