Fertility Friend FINALLY says that I ovulated! Apparently I am now 3 DPO. Until I put in today's temp it had said "O not detected" and "N/A" for everything else. Of course it doesn't matter this cycle, because we're not trying yet and I just trying to get a feeling for what exactly my body does during a cycle, but how is it helpful to tell you when you ovulated after the fact? If we were trying wouldn't I want to know when I was leading up to it and when it was actually happening? I mean I would have tried on the days I was having EWCM, but I thought FF gave you a prediction so you could have an idea of when to try. Maybe that's only the VIP membership. I don't know. Anyway, the important thing is that I am ovulating and things seem to be going back to normal after getting off the pill. Now I have some good information to go on when we are trying next month. And when I say next month, it's really only about two/two and a half weeks away. Eeeeek!
I'm 5dpo today, and my temp is still up. Everything is looking good. I'm glad that I temped this cycle just so I know everything is doing what it should be doing. I'm such a worrier by nature, it's nice to have one less thing to worry about!
I think that as of today we are ditching all forms of BC. This may be TMI, but since I went off the pill we've been using condoms, and they just don't work well for us. I figure since I know I've already ovulated, we might as well get rid of them.
I really didn't think we'd be thinking about moving/selling our house at the same time that we'd be trying to get pregnant. I'm just trying to take everything one day at a time and not be anxious about any of it. After all, what good does being anxious do?
CD 26 today. My temp was MUCH higher than it has been today, so FF changed my O date from CD 17 to CD 18. Not a big deal, as long as I actually HAD an O date. I feel like the end of this cycle is dragging on and on. It will be interesting to see when AF decides to show up this month.
I am feeling kind of down today. No big reason- just a bunch of little things. I'm trying to snap out of it. I've been pretty productive this morning, and one of my best friends is supposed to come over this afternoon with her kiddos, so that should be fun. Hopefully that will help me shake this icky feeling.
No news on the house situation. Our real estate agent went out of town yesterday to go see her sister who was about to give birth to twins! We will go take a second look at the house we'd like to buy after Thanksgiving (assuming that it's still on the market), and go from there. I'm getting to the point where I just wish something were decided. There are too many question marks for my liking right now. Where will we live? If we move, when will we move? Will our house sell? Will we be able to get pregnant? If so, when will we get pregnant? Will we be attempting to move while I'm pregnant? I just feel like I'm in limbo right now with some rather large life-changing events hanging over my head.
So today has been something of a dismal failure. It started with Caitrin waking up screaming at 4:30am and not going back to sleep. Needless to say, I did not temp this morning. She told me that her ear hurt (also her hair???), so DH took her to the doctor (they have clinic hours on Saturdays- thank goodness) and of course she has an ear infection. She came home and took a nap. When she woke up she had discharge pouring out of her ear- her eardrum ruptured. She won't let me touch it to clean it like I'm supposed to (I called and spoke to the triage nurse on call). She seemed to be feeling a bit better until about 20 minutes ago... now there is lots of screaming. We were supposed to have game night with our good friends tonight, but we're either not going to be able to go or only one of us can go. I'm not going to lie- I was really, REALLY looking forward to spending some time with people over the age of two. I feel so badly for my miserable little girl. And the discharge is seriously gross. At least DH is on duty tonight so I can get some sleep (I'm pretty tired from being up with her since 4:30 this morning).
So...... AF came early (28 day cycle instead of 30-32). You know what that means... we are officially TTC this cycle! Pretty crazy. I honestly don't know if I'm ready for this, but I do think it's now or never ;). If we wait any longer, I think we'd decide that one is plenty! Lol! So... here we go! I'm feeling better about it than I was before. I started out pretty scared about doing this again, but I'm feeling more of a peace about it now. I hope it happens pretty quickly- I've had horrible cramps since going off birth control. They feel like back labor and I can't function like a normal person, which is difficult since I have a two-year-old to take care of. They're not quite as bad as they were prior to going on birth control originally (think transition phase of labor), but they're more than I can handle while going about a normal day, which is a major problem. I got lucky yesterday- DH worked half the day from home, so he was able to keep an eye on the munchkin while I spent some quality time with the heating pad.
It will be interesting to see what this month, and the coming months, hold for us!
So things have not been going my way for the last several days. DD has been a bit of a monster lately, and I am trying desperately not to run out of patience. She locked herself in the bathroom in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, which is humorous now, but nearly gave me a heart attack at the time. I've fallen several times over the last few days (not really surprising considering that I'm a total klutz, but now I'm sore and bruised all over). Today we lost out on the house we were hoping to buy. We had to wait until our real estate agent came back into town after Thanksgiving, and the plan was to go look at it tomorrow with my brother (so he could check out some structural things for us), and then make an offer. So we find out today that it just went into pending status. Bummer. I tried to cheer myself up by baking some Christmas cookies and burned my finger on a cookie sheet. Caitrin didn't take any nap at all (she usually sleeps 3-4 hours), and just as we were getting ready to go to the grocery store it started pouring rain. I opted to wait and go by myself after DH gets home rather than drag the cranky munchkin out in this weather. Now she is screaming at me because I won't give her a pacifier (she's only allowed to have it for naptime and bedtime).
Okay, that is my vent. I feel better now. I know God has a plan and this is all in his hands, it's just hard not to be disappointed/frustrated sometimes. But my ultimate goal is to have a good attitude no matter what. Really, all the things I listed are very small, even tiny, annoyances. We are very blessed and really don't have anything to complain about. Sometimes you just have to get it out of your system to you can put it all in perspective and be thankful for your blessings. So consider that to be what I'm doing ;).
As far as TTC goes, DH and I are trying to have fun with it and enjoy it since we didn't get to "try" the first time around (it was a surprise), and this will, most likely, be our last. I forget what CD I'm on now. 8, maybe? Not sure. Anyway, certainly still waiting to O. It was exciting to join the September birth board, though! Here's hoping all the ladies on there get a BFP for Christmas!
Still sad about the house. We really, really loved it and had hoped to get it. Oh well. I also found out that one of the horses I used to teach lessons on died yesterday. So sad, although not unexpected (he was VERY old). He taught so many people to ride over the years and was such a sweetie. Apparently yesterday was just NOT a good day.
I've gotten some stuff accomplished today, although not as much as I had hoped to. If I can mix up a batch of cookie dough after the munchkin goes to bed I should be doing alright. I've been trying to get as much Christmas baking done ahead of time as possible, then just freeze it and pull it out when I need it.
Today is CD9, I've been temping a little bit, just so I can feel like I'm doing something other than just waiting to O! So far everything is very similar to last cycle, so I guess that's good? If I don't ovulate until CD17 or 18 like last cycle I have a long wait ahead of me. :(
Today is CD11... I think. It's been easy not to obsess over it with everything going on- the disappointment on the house, my brother potentially buying a new house/moving, helping our best friends move, my birthday, my parents coming into town, Christmas, and DH's birthday. December is always a busy month for us, but it's even more so this year.
So we're obviously still disappointed about the house. Really trying to just put it behind us, though.
I've been having a fun time with my little one the last couple of days. She's been very silly and fun to play with. I've also baked enough cookies for the entire United States... or at least that's what it feels like. And still more to go! Making good progress, though. My chest freezer is almost completely full! Of course there's other stuff besides cookies in there.
I'm ready for O and the 2WW... just ready to be further along in this process, even if this isn't our cycle. Just ready for something to happen. Something good... I've had enough of the alternative lately.
So after saying that I usually ovulate later in my cycle, I've had a lot of EWCM today. TMI, I know, but that's what this is about, right? So who knows what this cycle is going to be like. It is only my third after going off BCP, so I guess it's normal for things to still be wacky. We will just have to wait and see what happens!
In other news, I am having a hard time finding the energy to be Mommy today. I'm just tired and really feeling the need for some grown up time. I was hoping to get together with a friend this afternoon (the kids play great together so we actually get to have a conversation), but her back has been bothering her so she's off to the chiropractor. I'm trying to think of an alternative plan for the afternoon. Maybe we will go to Michael's for a few last minute Christmas decorations, or maybe do some kind of an art project. As much as I love spending time with my girl, I'm looking forward to bedtime tonight so I can have some down time.
Today is CD15. No temp rise yet, but that's not surprising considering that I O'd on either CD17 or CD18 last month. Still having fertile CM. But since I tend to have it for about a week around O time, it doesn't really help me pinpoint the day.
So today is one of those crappy days where you are the only thing making it crappy... know what I mean? I'm in a funk that I just can't snap out of. I'm usually an optimistic person, so it really drives me nuts. I'm cranky, snapping at people I love, totally out of patience, etc. It's been coming on for a couple of days but it really hit me today and I've just been a mess. For no reason that I can figure, unless it's hormones doing crazy things. This is only my third off BCP, so things still haven't really evened out, and I'm realizing how much the pills did as far as making hormones/cramps/pms/everything more bearable! Ugh. I feel like I should crawl into a hole and hide for a few days to protect the people around me!