Decided I would stop off and start my journal And I decided that I am going to write it to my unborn children. This way, when they are older, I can have it all printed out for them so that they will see how much they really were wanted, and loved and cherished even before they were conceived.

My dear little ones,
Hi! It's your Mommy. I know you aren't here yet, but your Daddy and I have been trying to bring you into this world for quite a few years now. It's been a long road, sometimes rocky, sometimes smooth. But it's never really been easy. We have been trying to create you since 2001. Mommy went to the Dr because she wasn't getting her womanly monthlies regularly. I never have. I really hope that if you are a girl, you have beautiful and regular cycles. I pray that you are healthy in every way. You don't ever have to be perfect, just healthy Mommy went through alot of tests and then it seemed like one thing happened right after the other. I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism and put on medication. I was told that I couldn't start TTC until my levels were normal. They were at 10.5 and she wanted them under 5. A few months later I ended up in the hospital with a large cyst on my right ovary. I had to have surgery and have it removed and that prolonged our TTC even longer until I could heal. While healing, we lost our home in a horrible fire. We lost everything except for each other. Your daddies and my love grew even stronger then, even if we were left with nothing except the clothes on our back. We found comfort in each other AND we found a new look on life because of the miracles that followed. People from this wonderful board, without even knowing me, sent us clothes, pots, pans, gift cards, etc. It still makes me cry to think of. They renewed our faith in people. With what they sent and with what we were able to get and received, we built a home again, with a new understanding on life.
After the fire, I was diagnosed with PCOS and then diabetes followed. I couldn't TTC with being diabetic without having that under control as well. It seemed like a never ending battle of things, but I wasn't going to give it up. We did stop TTC for awhile, we were again planning our wedding, in which had to be moved because of the fire. We finally got married this April after almost seven wonderful years together. We planned on TTC again in May. I started going to church and put my life in God. Things started changing then. At my first Dr's appt, she took the normal tests to see how my levels were because she didn't think we were going to be able to TTC. I was bad and didn't take any meds for anything while we were on our break. But the Lord truly blessed us and showed us how wonderful He is... ALL our levels came back normal! No more Hypothyroidism, no more PCOS, no more Diabetes, no more high testosterone... everything was great So now we are on the TTC highway. And it is a straight road for us, no u-turns, no forks, no nothing. God's grace will grant us with a smooth straight road. I put my faith in that. So until we have you with us little ones, we will work on building our lives together to better ourselves for you. To give you the right kind of life and to make sure that all your dreams come true. We love you!