I just got home from my annual pap and physical. I am very happy because I was able to talk the PA into doing a Beta HCG. I promised him I would not get upset if it was low because it is still too early to be accurate but now I will have an idea! Yay! Now I have to wait for the results hopefully their back tomorrow.
Stupid doctor’s office is not calling my back!! Granted, I only called 10 minutes ago and they only check their messages on the hour, meaning I have another 40 minutes until it is heard but still!!! They should be sitting by the phone, waiting for me to have woken up to give me my results.
I go to a PCP in the town I grew up in which is a small mountain town so just my luck they send labs out and I won’t know until tomorrow. I’m so impatient I want to know NOW!!!
I even exerted a ton of self control and did not POAS even though I bought some yesterday.
I really should go back to sleep. It is 1:30 in the afternoon, which is like 1am for me while I’m working nights but I’m worried I won’t hear the phone ring if I do. I guess I’ll just be very tired tonight at work.
Ugh! Stupid PA!! He ordered the wrong freaking test!! The nurse just called me back and the results came back “indeterminate”. I said no, that can’t be because I specifically asked for a quantitative HCG and she said that he ordered the positive/negative test only. Jerk! I told him twice what I wanted as well as the nurse who drew my blood. I got irritated and so she told me that they will draw the correct test tomorrow free of charge. I guess on the bright side it didn’t come back negative…..
So... I get off of work at 7:30am, come home and sleep for 3 hours then drag my sleepy butt out of my warm bed and make the 30 mile drive to my doctor’s office. I get there and the PA takes me back to a room. I asked him what “indeterminable” means for the last test and he says he’s not sure but they could do the quantitative HCG on the blood they drew the other day so I didn’t need to be there. That made me really cranky. I could have been asleep all cozy in my bed but instead I made a long trek into the mountains for apparently no reason at all. I told the PA I came there to get my blood drawn so I was gonna get my blood drawn. I figured that 10 DPO will be a lot more accurate then 8 DPO anyways and thankfully the PA likes me, even when I’m being crabby so I had it redrawn today. Hopefully I find out the results tomorrow.
Hi Amber, my name is Amanda. I got to your posts when I was searching the net about an operation I had (hysteroscopy, laporoscopy, miomectomy). Your posts have had me in tears and laughing at other times. I am not trying to conceive yet, next year God willing. Could you please explain what all your abbreviations stand for. I can figure some out, but the medical stuff.... I'm clueless. I'm following your posts and pray for you.
Hi Amanda! I'm glad you've been enjoying my journal. I wis hyou tyhe best of luck TTC! Some where around here is a full list of the abbreviations but I have no idea where! This link has a few that will help you out. http://www.pregnancy.org/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=387187
Sorry I haven’t updated. My quant HCG came back as >2, a positive needs to be somewhere between 25- several thousands. So as of right now I am not pg. I am sad but it still might be too early. Yesterday I had a huge temp dip so I had all about given up on this cycle but today it is back up a bit…So I POAS just to see…..I am awaiting those results now. I will be okay if that is negative as well, disappointed but okay.
This weekend I have super busy schedule. I am hosting a bridal shower and bacholrette party for my friend on Saturday. Last night I had to work until 7am. I just slept for a few hours now I should be driving to another friends house who has graciously lent her house for the party to help make food (She as A LOT more room then I do….I think my entire house would fit into her master bath), tonight the pre-wedding weekend starts with a Rockies game (for the guys it started this morning…my lucky DH got to take the day off to go golfing) So I have to run around all day, then tomorrow I have to go pick up the brides family for the airport. As a surprise her FI and I flew them in for the parties and she has no idea so that will be fun. I also have to go rent a van to tool around in. Then back up to the house where the party will be held to get set up. The bridal shower starts at 4 then after we are having a dinner for 30ish people. Then we move right into the bacholorette party. Sunday I told my mom we would have a brunch for her. I was going to do it at my house but I was getting a little worried I would run out of time so my sister is going to have it at her house instead, THEN that afternoon the in-laws are coming over for a BBQ. In the middle of this I have to find time to make a cake and side dishes to bring to my sisters and make and entire meal for the in-laws. So I don’t have time to be too upset about not being pg. plus if my test is negative tomorrow as well then I can drink at the bachlorette party.
I’m having a really difficult time with AF showing up. Yesterday I was so teary and emotional. I kept crying and yelling at my DH. Then when he would get frustrated with me I would cry more. I didn’t tell him why I as upset until half way through the morning. So I’m sure before that he though I was just being a *****.
I didn’t get much sleep over the weekend so that was contributing to my moodiness. Yesterday morning before the brunch for my mom I had to run to the store to get some things to bring. I was crying all the way there then in the parking lot composed myself long enough to run in, but then my Dad called while I was checking out and asked how things were. I knew he meant how things went with the IUI since yesterday was my test day but I avoided the question and said I was doing fine. He then asked if I was pg…then why not? When is it going to happen? I know he didn’t mean to be hurtful but I lost it and started bawling. It was horrible. People in line with me probably though I just received bad news, that or was crazy. Thankfully at brunch my Mom and sisters didn’t ask me anything about TTC so that was nice. After brunch I came home and took a nap since I still had to have the in-laws over for a BBQ. I woke up not wanting to deal with them but more composed so I was ready to get it over with. My in-laws kind of bug me about TTC. They know we are going through treatments but this whole time we have been having problems not once have they asked why or asked how things are going or offered any kind of support. That just annoys me. They just totally ignore anything having to do with us TTC. My DH says that is because they feel it is none of their business and don’t want to pry but I think they are just jerks who don’t care.
I had plans before TTC of going back to school to be a PA. I was accepted into a program and was getting ready to start in the fall of 2006 when we got news from the RE that our time was limited. I had to decide between school and TTC. I chose TTC, I can always go back to school later and beside I have a good job now doing nursing on a mom/baby floor. I don’t think this sits well with my in-laws. To them education is everything so I think they do not want us TTC until after I finish school. They act like I have no college education at all. It really bothers me. Hopefully it is in my head but I don’t think so. So a few minutes after they showed my SIL asked me how my marathon training was coming. I told her it was fine, but I haven’t been able to run since the IUI (that they didn’t even know we did) at that point my MIL decided to take about one of my BIL’s old roommates who just found out that she was 5 ½ months pregnant and how she didn’t know how they were going to make it work with a baby. She did not ask how the IUI went. She did not ask one freaking question to acknowledge that she even heard what I said. Instead she talks about how irresponsible my BIL's friends are. It was a bit hurtful so I got up and left. I just didn’t want to hear about someone one who ignored her pregnancy and how stupid my MIL though they were for getting pg in the first place. If my child was going through something as painful as infertility then I would want to know about it and do whatever I could to be a support to them. The in-laws won’t even acknowledge it. It’s bothersome.
Eventually my DH dragged me back outside but I stayed quiet and counted down the minutes until they left. I went to bed as soon as they left completely drained from the day. My DH and I are still kind of rocky from fighting that morning and he was avoiding taking to me, probably not wanting to set me off again. I can understand him being a bit reserved but it is a bit hurtful as well that he is not being more supportive right now. I am always sad and disappointed when AF shows but it is not often I am this outwardly upset so it bothers me that he is not being more helpful.
On other news my friend’s bridal shower and bacholrette party was a success! Everyone had a good time. We had an 80’s theme for the bach. Party and made the bride dress up in a really bad old 80’s wedding dress and then go out to the clubs wearing it. She was a good sport and did it without complaining. It was pretty funny. We were all very entertained at her expense! Ever so often someone one would ask her if she was getting married and she’s say “No, I just like wearing it.” I have pictures on my camera. As soon as I put them on the computer I’ll share a few.
It is 3:40 in the morning now so now that I got my bad day vent out I’m gonna try to get back to sleep.
I had a u/s this morning so I could get my script for Clomid. I told the nurse that I wanted to do 100mg again and she said “Why? You respond so well to 50” I said yeah, not well enough since it has never worked. She said more isn’t necessarily better; it will thin your lining. I reminded her my lining has always been thin…even when I was on 50 I had to take Estrace to build it. So she finally agreed. I almost don’t want to even do an IUI this cycle. I have been feeling so down lately that I don’t want to keep feeling like this. It feels like the last cycle went so fast that I didn’t have time to prepare for a new one. I’m just getting frustrated everything is so darn expensive and that this is now cycle # 37 for me. It is just feeling like it is never going to happen.
I’m gonna go run before work….maybe that will make me feel better.
I am so frustrated with my DH! Today he comes home and tells me he is going out of town on May 30th. That would be fine but that is right around O time!!! He doesn’t understand why I am upset. Chances are I will O before he leaves (by a day or 2) but I’ve O’d later before while taking Clomid. I’m thinking about having him freeze his sperm just incase he is gone. What frustrates me the most is that he chose to go!! It isn’t even required AND he talked his boss into letting him stay an extra day to train some guys out there. I know it is good career move for him, but it’s a bad marriage move.
At work last night we had a women come in at 36 weeks who was so high on coke that the lab had to dilute her urine to get the tox screen to read! She told us that she hadn’t used anything in 2 weeks. When we called her on it her on it and told her what the lab had to do to the results she said “Wow. That was some potent ****.” Why can she get pg and I can’t?
I’m seriously on the verge of becoming a homeless drug user…that seems to be what gets girls pregnant anymore.