TTC-#2 CD 1 Cycle #1
I can't believe that we have finally gotten to this point, but DH and I have decided to try and get pregnant this summer. It has taken us well over a year to come to this decision. In fact, for awhile there it looked as if our son may be an only child. Last month we were a bit careless with the birth control. Heck, I was even positive that we had gotten ourselves pregnant. Sure, we would have been happy and excited, but I really wanted to "plan" our second child. Yeah, our first baby was a bit of a surprise. Luckily we had already been married for over three years and had a solid relationship. Heck, we had even made the decision to TTC during the summer of 2000. Instead, our son Evan was born on June 28th, 2000, just two days before our 4th wedding anniversary. We knew that we didn't want a close age span between children so we knew that we wouldn't be getting pregnant with Baby #2 anytime soon. I brought up the topic of TTC another baby when Evan was 18 months old. DH and I ended up getting into a huge fight over it. As it turned out, DH wasn't even sure that he wanted anymore children. Then, if we did have another child he wanted to wait until Evan was much older, like 6 or 7. We decided to let the topic stew for a few months. I brought the topic up again when Evan was 25 months old. This time it went much better. In fact we decided to TTC during the winter of 2003. Well, December rolls around and we both agree to wait a few more months. Yep, the older Evan got, the less I wanted to do the whole pregnancy/baby thing again. I knew myself well enough to know that I would never be happy with just one child. I wanted to experience one more pregnancy and give a sibling to my son. I bring up the "baby topic" in March. We debate for and against it, neither of us really choosing a side. We basically decide that if it happens, it happens, and we'll just become a bit more careless with birth control. Ok, that seemed like a good idea, but then again, I didn't really like the idea of just "seeing what happens." I really wanted to wait until June to officaially TTC. So I have been using the FAM method for the past couple of months. Today I got my period so I decided to bring up the "baby topic" one last time. We both calmly agreed to that this would be the summer that we tried to get pregnant. We would try for 3 months and if I wasn't pregnant by September.....well, we weren't sure. My main reason for only TTC for 3 months is because I don't want to have another summer baby. If I get pregnant during the next 3 months we will have a spring baby. But, if I'm unable to get pregnant, then we'll just take a break for a few months and start another TTC round in January. I don't know, we're basically playing it by ear. Evan will be nearly 4 by the time a spring 2004 baby comes along. I don't want more than a 5 year age span between my children. Right now I'm a SAHM, but once Evan starts school I'd like to go back to work part-time, unless I already have a toddler at home. In that case I'll continue to stay home. I'm just not crazy about the idea of having Evan in Kindergarten and me being pregnant knowing that I still have 4/5 more years of staying at home.
Well, I got pregnant very easily with our first child so we're hoping for the best. We did agree that if for some reason I don't get pregnant sometime during the next year we won't use fertility treatments. I love children, but I am thankful for the one child that we have. I'm afraid that going through fertility treatments will cause a huge strain to our marriage. I don't want to become obsessed over Baby #2 and neglet our first child. Am I making any sense? If it was up to me, I would love to have 3 children, I think. DH is happy with 1, but he also feels that it's important for Evan to have a sibling. Plus he knows that I would love to have more than one child so we have agreed that two children will be the maximum. Of course, we're still both kind of young. (32) We have also decided to to have either of us "fixed" until we were well into our 40s because you never know. DH may hit his late 30s and decide that he's ready for a 3rd child. Personally, I don't want to put my body through more than 2 pregnancies, but DH just isn't fond of the idea of permanent BC. AH, he claims that he's happy with one child, yet he wants a fertile wife. He's a very confusing man.
But here we are now, day one of our first official month of TTC. YIKES! A little scary, and a little exciting.
It's late. Time for bed. I just wanted to type my first entry on the first day of this new cycle.