This is my very first post here. I'm really glad that I found this forum.
Well, it's been 9 months since I miscarried. Sometimes I still get really sad about losing my baby. I am grateful though, that I miscarried naturally. My husband and I have been ttc since then.
Before the miscarriage happend, I wasn't even having a cycle. I had gone for 3 months without a period. I thought it had to do with me being stressed, but I finally found a wonderful doctor and she took a bunch of blood tests and found that my progesterone level was really really low and basically wasn't even ovulating. She put me on some progesterone pills for three months. She said that within those three months I could possibly get pregant if my husband and I tried.
So, I started the first month's pills the beginning of July and finally had a regular cycle starting the 18th. My husband I decided to ttc, and I got pregnant!! I was soooo excited. I woke up at 4:00am to test because I had to pee soooo bad I had a feeling I was pregnant, but had taken 4 previous test and they all came out negative. I waited until I had about 18 days of high temp (because i practice NFP), and at 4:00am I tested, I just had to. It came out positive and I was so happy I was only 4 weeks along at that point went into to see the doctor at 5w2days, and we actually got to hear it's little hearbeat. The heartbeat was slow. I had another appointment to see the doc the next week to check the heartbeat and I had started spotting only a few days after my first appt. I prayed and prayed that my baby was okay, but the next appointment, we listened to the heartbeat again and it was skipping beats. We knew that I wasn't going to have this baby.
So I finally miscarried naturally that night.
I didn't want to take the progesterone pills again because I was scared they were the reason. So, my husband and have been ttc since my miscarriage without those pills. I've had plenty of cycles since then, but have had no luck. I contacted my doctor again about 3 months ago, and she said that if I wanted to get pregnant that I would have to be put back on progesterone. I really thought about how it went last year with my miscarriage. I took the first set and then wasn't sure if I was pregnant or not and started taking the next set for the next cycle. When I think about it, I shouldn't have been taking the second set until I was sure I wasn't pregnant. I believe that is where I went wrong.
Tonight I will be taking pill #6 of 10. I started these pills again because one, my last cycle was May 3rd and havent' had any signs that my period was going to start, and two, I really want to get pregnant. Since starting these pills I have become really excited because I have this feeling that I will get pregnant again. This time, I will wait until i'm completely sure that I'm not pregnant before I start the next set. I've also changed my lifestyle, eating better and things like that. We have moved to a smaller town closer to my husbands family and i'm less stressed. So, i'm hoping and praying everything combined will bless my husband and I with a baby.
Well, I only had to take 9 pills and my period started. I'm really excited to start ttc. I have a really great feeling that I'm going to get pregnant this cycle. It was funny when I started spotting on Saturday afternoon. I ran to my husband from the bathroom and said "i'm spotting!!" and he just laughed at me. I'm just so excited about getting pregnant. I just have lots of faith that it's going to happen. I guess I shouldn't be so excited, because I really will be in for a big disappointment if it doesn't happen. But I guess I'm just looking at it the way that I can always try again with the next set of pills.
Today is my 2nd anniversary with my husband. We are very happy
We decided to wait a few weeks before celebrating because we are tight on money this month. Didn't plan on almost $1000 worth of maintenence to our car!! Last year we celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Florida and I was a few pregnant at that time. Hopefully I wll be pregnant again when we finally celebrate our 2nd year anniversary. Then the celebration will be even better
If I do get pregnant, I don't know who to tell. Last year I couldn't wait and wanted to tell everyone, but this time I don't know what to do. I'll just wait to see if I do get pregnant and then decide at that time. I know I will want to tell my parents and his parents, but maybe not more than that. Maybe not even our parents. Well not until i'm about 3 months I would say. we shall see I guess.
I'm sitting here at work looking at all kinds of baby sites. I think i'm obsessed right now with all this baby stuff!! I need to give it a break.
My cramps are pretty bad right now, and can't take a break for another 20 min. I can't wait!! Need Tylenol!!! I'm hating and loving AF right now. Hating it cause it sucks to have af, and loving it because I know that i'll be able to ttc here in a while
Can't wait until that time comes!!
Only 3 days more and my af will be finished. My dh will be happy when it's finished as well cause it's hard on him when I get moody. I've been doing good with my mood though. I usually get impatient really quick, but this cycle is different. Thinking of having children is probably is what is helping me stay in a good mood. Thank goodness for that!
Day 3 of my cycle. Well, I'm trying to stay patient until the day my dh and I can starting bding!! It's so hard though. Reading new posts that other ladies got their BFPs is so exciting. Makes me feel so happy for them. I know that many women have gone through so much to just have their first babies and I am so happy when I read posts or hear that they finally got pregnant.
I know that soon will be my turn, and I'm trying to be as patient as possible. I was looking at bedding for a crib yesterday. I just like looking at all that stuff that hopefully I will be able to buy soon. I fell in love with a certain theme for a nursery. Its stars, moons and clouds. I found it on this baby site that I found. It had blue, green, pink, purple - pastel colors. I always think that when I get pregnant and when I start decorating a nursery, that I want to have all kinds of colors. Not just all pink or all blue. I've really never been a girlie kind of girl, but who knows if I get pregnant and have a girl i might become real girlie That would surprise a lot of people that know me
My dh is trying to not get too excited like me. He just doesn't want to see me hurt or really disappointed if it doesn't happen this cycle. He always trys to be the realistic person in all things. I always get really excited and always set myself up for disappointment. *sigh* it's just hard not to excited about the chance of getting pregnant.
2 more days until horrible AF is over!!! Can't wait!!!
Well, day 4 and it's hard to stay patient. I really want to be further in my cycle, but I know I can't just make that happen. dang it oh well.
Anyway, my dh had a tennis match yesterday with his men's league, and they beat the undefeated team in the district! I was so happy for my dh and his team. They aren't the best team in the district, but to beat the undefeated team really pumped them up!
The other team were such sore losers. They had the worst sportsmenship that I've seen. Men and losing...what is with that?!? They just can't handle it. I would give the sportsmenship award (if there was one) to my dh's team. They are such a nice group of guys and if they lose, they take it well.
So, where I'm living at now has a ton of mosquitos. I can't even go outside. I'm allergic to them and plus the West Nile Virus has been in that area. I hate to even think of getting bit and being pregnant. My bites swell up so big when I get bit. Most people just get a little itchy bump, but mine, ahhh!! They itch, get huge and then stay with me for at least 3-4 days and stay huge through all those days. I look like I have a disease when i get more than one bite!
sorry, that's my ranting and raving about mosquito bites
My dh and I are excited to start ttc soon. we are waiting until day 10 and then bding every other day after that. It worked last year that way, so we are going to do the same thing. I hope it works!! 6 more days to go. woo hoo!!
Yeepee Day 5 is here. But i'm not feeling so good. I'm really really tired today. My dh and I carpool and drive an hour to and from our house Monday - Thursday for work. And if I don't sleep well, then it ruins my week. I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow. I really need to get some rest or I'll just end up getting sick.
Well, my AF should be finished today. Mostly likely I will just be spotting by the end of the day. 5 more days and dh and I can start ttc. I still have a really good feeling about this time. I believe it's going to happen. I can't believe that in a couple months it will be a year since I got pregnant last. Lot's of things have changed since then, and really, I dont think any of these good changes would have happened if I had my baby. I would rather have my baby though, but I am not disappointed or upset with the changes that did happen after the miscarriage. I've grown a lot closer to my dh. We've moved closer to family, which if I had my baby we would have stayed in our previous location a lot longer. So, miscarriage bad, but changes good.
I'm drinking a coke right now, which i've cut out caffene almost from my diet. This morning I needed something to keep me awake. I can't keep my eyes open and still have 6 more hours of work!!
My dh has another tennis match tonight, and I hope they win again. It's not as hot today as it was Tuesday for their other match. It was sooo hot then.
Should get back to work now. I have lots of stuff to get finished before tomorrow.
My dh and I couldn't really wait until day 10 Couldn't help ourselves on day 7, but are waiting until tomorrow to bd again.
I'm more relaxed about everything right now. Not as obsessed about stuff. Dh and I were talking about what we plan on doing this fall. Right now we travel together and hour each way from our place, to go to work. If I do get pregnant, i'm going to be a stay at home mom. Dh makes just enough for me to be able to do that. I feel so lucky that I have that option.
Anyways, as soon as school starts we will not be able to carpool because our hours will change, and there is no way for it to work for each one of to drive. We are in need of a new car, but are doing fine because we just travel in one. We have a small pickup that we just use locally close to our place. We talked about that I could just stay home for awhile and not work because if I was to get pregnant, then I don't think the buisness would hire someone that was only part time. The other situation is that we live in a different state than we work. So, I dont' think it will be that big of a deal on taxes, but we aren't sure. We just dont' want to go through any hassels with taxes if necessary. I would love to take a break from work and stay home and just work around the house and stuff, but then I feel bad that my dh will travel everyday and make the money. He hopefully will get something locally that will be pay as much or more.
If I do get pregnant, then that will pretty much decide for me on staying home. I will only be a few months pregnant, but dh and I decided to really take care of me and the less stress in my life would help me out. I'm just a person that gets sick real easily when I become stressed. After having my m/c, i've made it a habit to really keep myself healthy. I want to be able to focus on being healthy and taking care of my baby while it's inside of me as much as possible. I know that a m/c can't alway be prevented, but being healthy always lessens the chances anyways.
So, we've got that going for us right now. I know all will work out the way it's supposed to.
I had a dream two night ago that I had baby boy twins I hope that is a good sign for me.
So on Sunday I went to church with my dh. The first reading had this line in it "this time next year you will be holding a son" or something close to that anyways...
That particular line stuck with me since then. I felt like it was a sign for me from GOD. I can't help but feel that right now. Last year when I was pregnant, before I knew I was, I prayed for sign during church to tell me that I was pregnant. And I got one!! All the readings had to do with the Virgin Mary and being pregnant and being mothers. It was the greatest feeling.
I've had a few slight cramps in my ovaries. I'm not sure if these are signs of ovulating, but I don't think I would ovulate this early. By taking those progesterone pills last year I ovulated around the 13-15 I think, I'll have to check my chart from last year. Could I ovulate this early??? I have sensations of wetness and shiney cm, so I know it should be changing into more fetile cm. I don't know...i'm just going to try and be patient. I'm doing better on that too...not so obsessed with getting pregnant. I'll just stress myself out if I become too obsessed about it.
Finally...passed day 10 That means I'm getting into the days that I could pregnant. DH and i started bding on day 7 and decided to bd every other day after that. We were going to start on day 10, but I was already getting lots of cm, so we thought we would start early.
My temp jumped up from 97.5 to 97.7 today. I don't know if that is just a weird temp, or is it ovulation? I'm not sure, but for sure bding tonight!!
My friend had her baby last Saturday, and I'm so happy for her and jealous at the same time. She got pregnant a couple months after my miscarriage, and it was hard to hear about it, but I did my best to be happy for her. I get to see her this weekend and i'm excited to see the new baby.
I also am visting my mom and I'm really excited about that. I'm really close to my mom and since moving, we haven't seen each other in a month. I dont' like to go that long without seeing her. My parents are divorced and now my dad is remarried, and my mom still doesn't have anyone. I just like to be there for her and spend time with her.
I'm excited for the 4th. I will be seeing some family that I haven't seen for a long time.
I guess thats about it for now. Just trying to be patient with everything. Doing well so far
Ok, so my temp stayed at 97.7. weird. they never ever rise this early. I'm not sure what to make of it. I'm still having these dull ovary pains...not too bad, but I can feel them.
I've been posting my temps here on the sites chart and it shows yesterday with a picture of an egg...ovulation day???? Is that what it means?? It would be crazy if I already O'ed, but dh and I did bd last night, so If I did, then maybe It's all good ahhh, who knows.
I don't work tomorrow, which is soooo nice, cause I get to sleep in. I love my Fridays off Plus it will be an extra long weekend with the 4th being on Monday. Woohoo!!! :P
I hope that I will have access to a computer sometime this weekend. My mom doesn't have one just cause she would never ever use it if she did. But, it's been helping me stay patient and less stresses when I get to post in the journal.