wow so much has happened since i posted last!!!! mikeys nana passed away on the 26th. the service was chaos for me, and my son was devastated. we are currently in our healing process, and taking it a day at a time! my cd21 prog was 12.5. then on cd26 it was 40. so my prog jumped way up there!!! we arent sure if i od cd16or19 but im gonna wait until sat to test, going by oing on cd19. im hoping this is it, but im really really trying not to get excited. the dr also told me that everything looks great and that i am oing beautifully on the clomid. she didnt need to make any adjustments to my med. if af shows i just call her and shell call in my clomid script. i cant see her again until the 15 for a bpt to confirm pg. if i get a pos. but that is ok shes not going to be in until the 15. lets just hope that i wont be needing that new script of clomid.
well i havent posted here in a while, so let me update this. i believe i had another early m/c. i wont confirm that until tues with the dr. i also had one in aug. which was a non medicated cycle. if i didnt have another m/c then something else bizarre has happened to my body.
but after very high levels of prog and more than 2 weeks of high temps, and all of the pg symptoms that i was having, i know that something has gone wrong. so im starting clomid cd3-7 in hopes of oing sooner. and hopefully having better egg quality. i really wanted to wait a cycle or so but dh really felt like we shouldnt give up now.
so im on cd4 and trying round 4 this yr, in hopes of having a sticky pg.
this is my third round in a row, and i only have 3 more to go. if this doesnt work out, the next step is seeing the re and possibly going for iui and injections. i just hope that we dont have to take that step.
well today i saw the ob/gyn and i asked her if my prob could have happened due to the poor egg quality pcos patients have, she said she doesnt want to make that diagnosis yet. actually she says she isnt going to make any other drastic changes until we have done 6 straight clomid cycles, then im off to the re. she says my chart is perfect, and should be put in a textbook of what a chart should look like. but she has said that my past two clomid cycles. she is working with a group of re's on my case and they are all in agreement with her treatment plan. i took it cd3-7 this mo. at this point, im really feeling bummed
todays cd 11 for me and im starting to feel icky. my breasts are starting to get tender and my opk was almost pos yesterday, so i know that o is approaching. i really was hoping for an early o this mo and i think that may actually happen for us. i dont want to write that in stone yet though because my body could fake me out and tease me with the thought. so i started the mucinex today and like always i take my vitamin, i really want the dr to put me on the metformin 3 times a day, but she refuses to do that yet because of my ibs, but i really think that third dose a day can really make a difference. my sugars are a bit elevated right now, and i think i will def demand it after my a1c comes back(esp if its higher than last time). otherwise im trying to stay optimistic about it all. just trying to take it one day at a time. im trying very hard not to obsess about ttc anymore. im not googling every little symptom like i normally would have. and dh and i actually bd twice in a row just for the enjoyment of it and not to ttc. we were starting to feel like baby making robots!!!
with all the rules that dr gave us, she took all fun and romance out, and i dont agree with her method at all. this mo she says oh do it two days in a row then skip a day. its so confusing, im just gonna do what feels right.
lets see what else i can comment on, since im feeling in the mood to write, this is the month that i concieved my son, lets just hope that i have that same fate this time around. i concieved in mid nov and found out dec 20th!!!!! so im just holding on to that bit of hope. next week is thanksgiving and ill be cooking my very first turkey and ham dinner! the family isnt coming because my nephew caught the chicken pox but we are still going to have a nice family dinner....me john and mike are going to have a good time anyways. i did get to look at john s/a numbers and that made me feel better. he is in the 90 percentile. 294 million swimmers/ml with 114 million being mobile. so we know that isnt an issue. more good news!!! so i think its only a matter of time before we have our sticky pg.
round three cd 14. well i had a pos opk cd 10-11. i also had tons of ewcm then too. dh and i bd cd 9 10 12 and 13. i hope that all this extra cramping is a sign of things to come. my boobs have also been tender for a few days now. i really didnt get any intense o pain this mo. which is unusual, but my cm has now dried up and my temp did rise today. so now we are waiting to confirm the o. we tried different positions this mo because i think my wacky uterus position is hindering the sperm travel. we will see if it makes all the difference this mo or not. there is no other reason that i can think of that is stopping us from having a sticky pg. on the up side of things, taking the pills earlier did cause me to o sooner, which is what ive been trying to tell my dr from the begining!!! i took clomid in 2002 and took it cd 2-6 to help me o sooner!!!!! so now she will see that it truely does make a difference in me!!!! so maybe now my egg quality will also improve!
i guess my opk faked me out, so i think i ovulated cd 15 instead, my cervix felt very high and open as well. i am not having the o pain like i did the other day, but had tons of ewcm. i am still having ewcm, so dh and i are bding until i either get a temp surge or the cm dries up completely. i am still tender in my lower abdominal area, and bd did hurt as it always does near o time, i am just not sure how many more rounds of clomid that we are going to do. it is getting to the point that we are dying to see the re and finally have more answers, maybe it is just going to take us longer to get our bfp, at least one that i can hold on to. man this has been a long journey, we are not giving up, but man it just feels so hopeless today, i woke up feeling bummed because of the temp drop. if i am going to have a chance at this, i have to o sooner, otherwise my egg quality is going to be bad. i did ovulate late when i got pg with my son and he turned out ok, so im still trying to find some incouragement through all of the disappointment!!!!
so last night and today i have been very tender in my lower belly/ left ovary, my temp is still playing tricks on me, and im starting to get frustrated with my body, sometimes i just want to throw in the towel, but at the end of the day i go to sleep thinking i have to do this, i cant give up, this matters too much to me and dh and my son too! it is so easy to become discouraged and i absolutely hate taking hpts with a passion, as a matter of fact i hate taking pg tests altogether. with every bfn i cry just a little bit more, and feel a little bit more hopeless every single month that we get nothing but disappointment.
so im still having dull aches coming from both ovaries, and tonight i had a set of very very sharp cramps that was very intense for maybe a couple hours, and then it settled down back into an achy feeling on my ovaries. this is very strange for me. this cramping was as bad as or worse than af cramps!!!! i couldnt even stand up straight, without doubling over from the cramps, and couldnt move either, it was just too painful.