So today is CD 9 (I think), and I am feeling crappy... I think it is mainly clomid s/e. I have had a headache for the last three days, my throat is sore, and now this morning I started crying on my way into the office... over absolutely nothing!! Oh well, give me a healthy baby, and it's worth it.
Oh, and have I told you all what a great DH I have? He is so fantastic, he called me this morning to remind me to take some oatmeal with me to work. (I haven't been eating at work and come home starving) So, when I got to my desk, I ate my yummy oatmeal and thought about how much my DH loves me! (of course, that got me teary-eyed, but I don't mind that one as much!)
Anyway, I started my OPK's, and I hope to O sometime in the next week!
CD 10, starting to get some more clomid s/e's... I still have a headache, ugh. And I am not sleeping very well at night. I am a very organic type of person, and I am not thrilled about using chemicals to make my body operate, don't get me wrong, I've obviously decided to use them because it is necesarry, but I still don't like it.
And now I have developed these fears that I can't get pregnant anymore. I feel like, I've had my chance, they didn't work, and now it is too late. I am worried about being on clomid for too long. Some of the long term affects are pretty serious... uterine cancer, hyper-ovaries (sp? name?).
I just read about a women who had a HSG and both of her tubes are blocked, and the doctor thinks it was probably because of her last m/c! And one of the risks of D&C's is that it can create scar tissue and prevent future pregnancies!! It just seems like everything you do can go bad on you.
Okay, that is enough paranoid ranting. I just really want to get pg and have a healthy baby. It's just so scary when you think of all of the things that can go wrong.
Well, I am just waiting to O.. I really want to O earlier this month, I think "bad" O's is a part of my problem. But, only time will tell. Also, I think I need to order some pre-seed. I am very dry "down there", sorry if TMI. But, that is not going to help TTC, so I need to fix it. I have also thought of going out and buying Robitusum (sp?). I have never tried it, but I'm willing to do anything at this point.
***WARNING - SOAP BOX***
I was lurking on one of the birth boards, and I saw a thread about vaccinations. They were debating wether or not it is healthy to get babies vac, because of some reports that it is linked to autism. Well, I didn't want to hijack their thread, but whoever is reading this, I will share with you how I feel. First of all, I do think that autism can sometimes be prevented. I definitely feel like it is often (but not always) due to environmental factors. But I think it has more to do with what we are eating than if you've been vac. or not. Do you realize how many antiobiotics, growth hormones, and other nasty things are put into the meat that you eat? It is really terrifying if you stop and read some of the information. Many symptoms of autism, alzeihmers, etc, are similar to Mad Cow Disease! And cows are often fed ground up bits of other cows!! Don't get me wrong, I am not a vegan or vegetarian. But, I do believe that the old saying "You are what you eat" has some truth to it. Anyway, I am willing to reduce the amount of meat we consume and we do pay for "organic" and "free range" meat and poultry.
Now, I know a lot of people feel like this is all kinda crazy, and you may be right. But I also think a lot of people simply don't realize exactly how much risk there is in our meat supply. So, for all of the hoops we all jump through TTC, I think this should be something that is given a little more attention.
Okay, so in the past I have always taken my OPK's twice a day, because I have a very short LH surge, and it is hard to catch. But I have a crazy work schedule lately, and today I did not get to test until 6 this evening. And on a whim, I decided to use the internet cheapie AND the Answer brand I bought at Walgreens this month. Well, the internet cheapie was a BFN, but the Answer one was a BLAZING BFP????
WTF? How can I get such opposite results? And which one do I trust? I have NEVER O'd before CD 17, so this early would be outrageous. And I don't temp, it's just too much for me.
Anyway, has anybody else ran into this problem in the past? I am having some slight O pains, but my CM is not EWCM yet....
CD 15, maybe I did O, that would be great! I am going to keep testing until CD 20 to make sure I don't miss another surge.
So I have started to think about what I will do if I am pg again (besides become a nervous wreck). You know, I have quite the collection of pg books. I even have a pg journal that I actually started for my second pg. But, I am so familiar with the progress through first trimester, I could recite it in my sleep. My thought is that I should become very busy with "other" activities, any kind of activity, to keep my mind off the first trimester.... Yeah, that will work!!
But if I was pg, the next few months do have a lot of things going on, so maybe I would have a chance. My little sister is getting married the first weekend of September, so that will be fun. And then my b-day is later in Sept. Then my other sister's b-days are in Sept and Oct. Then halloween, then Thanksgiving, and voilah! Second Trimester!!
Well, if you can't tell, I am a little ahead of the game. I'm not even sure I am in the 2WW yet.
Tammy, I can't wait for you to test!! I am praying that this is your month!
Dayna - I understand how you feel.
Ladies, good luck and I can't wait to see more BFP's!!
Well, I definitely got a pos OPK yesterday. But my poor DH has a stomach bug, and he is not feeling well at all. But when I told him I am o'ing, he shrugged his shoulders. I thought he meant that it was too bad, we would try again tomorrow. But even though he felt like crap, he was willing to "take one for the team"!!
However, it wasn't very romantic... not that it was bad, but I think that is the first time I felt the pressure of TTC while BD'ing....
Anyway, if he still feels up to it, we will try again tonight. I am pretty nervous about this cycle, so we will see..
Tammy, I am holding out hope for you! Keep your chin up, I'm thinking about you!
Guess who completely passed out last night and wasn't even interested in BD'ing??? ME! I was asleep on the couch at 7:30, and when DH woke me up for bed and asked about it, I said it could wait until tomorrow!
Well, if this cycle doesn't work, I will only have myself to blame.
Tammy, I'm still pulling for you! I hope you get your BFP soon!
Dayna, I have felt the same way about this site. As many times as I've told myself that I need to "move on", I am still here! Go where you are most comfortable.... don't worry about what the board is called.
Cazz, you are amazing. I'm glad you are feeling well, and that you have your eyes (and heart) facing forward!
Sometimes my emotions really surprise me. This morning, my boss and I were going from meeting to meeting, and she said there is a party we needed to go to. We usually have office parties for birthdays, so I figured there must be one today. So I walk into the room, and it is a BABY SHOWER!!! There is a girl in the building who is due in a few weeks, and they were throwing her a shower.
Well, I've been trying to ignore the fact that my EDD is Aug 28th, but sitting in this room, watching this girl.... it was too much. I had to get up and leave. I could barely hold in my tears until I got to the stairwell.. I felt like such a fool.. I know I shouldn't be so upset, but it really took me by surprise.
Anyway, I'm not really holding out much hope for this month. My body didn't seem to have a very clear O, and since I wasn't temping, it's really hard to tell.