room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

YEA, my dh will be going back to work after being off sick for 6 months!!!

He has been in construction for years, and he developed a bad hip this year. He is going back to work tomorrow, and hopefully taking some management courses next year.

As for ttc, nothing to report. I had the longest period ever, but now i'm feeling normal. Taking all of my vitamins regularly and looking forward to trying clomid next cycle. I wish we would just get pregnant this cycle on our own but I won't be shocked if my period comes in three weeks. I'm wondering if I should make an appt with my re or if there is any need. He gave me a prescription for clomid to use already.

Work is good, looking forward to being off for a long weekend next week, i'm going over to take care of my gf, the same one who treated me last week. She is going in for a lap surgury for her endometriosis so its my turn to take care of her and her kids.

Had a good day at work. I'm starting to get excited that its O time soon. I know that our chances are very low since we won't be doing anythign extra this month to help us along. I do feel good about taking my new vitamins and supplements. I'm taking Vitex, vitamin E, prenatal vitamins and red clover. DH is taking zinc, calcium, vit C, macasure and vit E.

I wonder if it will work for us, and how quickly. Is tomorrow soon enough??? :lol:

I havn't taken any opk's yet. Not sure If I will. I won't spend money on brand name ones this month, i'll save that for an IUI cycle. But you can be sure i'll be digging around my closet for $ tree tests. Hmm, I think I hear a few calling me. Maybe i'll start tomorrow.

Today I'm going to a wedding! My assistant manager at work is getting married, she is also 5 months pregnant and of course got preg the first month she "kind of tried". I'm going solo, with the other girls from work. DH is going to a friends house for a bbq.

Im sitting here this morning staring at my chart, wondering when we should time our bd. I didn't look for any opk's. I think I have two in my purse but I doubt i'd get any positives yet. I keep o'g later in my cycles.
A day/night out will be good for me.

Yesterday at work I saw a man walking thru the mall with his little kids. I totally envisioned my dh being the proud dad and loving his baby. Made me feel so good about us ttc. And more dedicated. I know he will be a great daddy, he already is. I can't imagine sharing this experience with him, having a child. Amazing.

Yesterday I took an OPK and got an almost positive!!!!! :D I'm really happy since my O has been getting later and later in my cycles. Today I got a more positive result, oh and yesterday I had a little bit of ewcm! I showed my dh the test from today, didnt say anything just held it out for him and he says " so we have to do it again?" I laughed, i'm like "have too??" he didnt mean it that way, he was just going with the program.

I got an even more pos OPK the next day. FF gave me crosshairs for the next day so i'm happy with that. I'm totally obsessing this month but i've learned this year that I'm probably not pregnant so I won't be devistated if I'm not. I'm just worried that if my period comes early (less than 10dpo) I shouldn't start clomid. Thats our plan for next cycle, clomid with an IUI. I'm excited to do that but not if my hormones are out of whack. I can't imagine that the clomid will be good for me if my cycles are screwy. Maybe it would fix it. Dont' know.

Anyways i've been away at my gf's house since wed night. She lives on Vancouver Island and had surgury on thursday so I came to help her out and keep her kids busy and out of her hair so she can get better. I"m missing my family though, cant wait to see my DH. Time away sure does make the heart grow fonder.

The other day I was talking to DH on the phone (since i've been away) I can't remember what it was about but he said "why, did you find out something I should know about?"
Hard to explain since i've forgotten most of the conversation but it was so sweet that his mind is on us ttc too. It made me feel so good that he's excited about us having a baby. :)

Back home now. I had a nice afternoon with DH, but It hit me once I was home that this week wore me out. So tired. I had to go to bed, like I was in some wierd funk. As i'm typing this I realize that maybe this is a symptom. I'm getting my hopes up this cycle. Sigh.

Back to work today, all is normal. I'm obsessing so much that tomorrow i'm gonna poas in the morning. I'll be 8dpo. Oh well, i've heard of a woman geting a bfp at 7dpo. Crazier things have happened.

I'm so glad to see some very deserving women getting bfp's on this site. I can't imagine what it will be like to get pregnant. But i'm not going to obsess with that yet till its my turn. Hmm, well maybe a little :lol:

OH and my dh told me that while I was away he was talking to my assistant manager (who's pregnant) and was telling her the boy names we have chosen for our baby, OMG. I wanted to keep it private, oh well.

Day off today!!! But im' so tired and I have a headache. I watched my Canucks kick butt, well that was until I couldn't watch any longer since they went to 4 ot. I fell asleep after two OT. I'm off to meet a friend in half and hour and its a gorgeous day.....but i'm here on the computer obsessing with this site. I called my RE to see if my blood work is back. At least i'll know early if this cycle is totally out and I can relax.

My best friend emailed me today all worried. She wants me to give vitamins and herbal remedies another month before going onto clomid. I understand, and I wish I would have tried them months ago. But I"m not sure that I can wait. Its only a month but after this long, i'm not sure If I can even consider waiting.

Another day done. I called the RE nurse to get my blood test results. She said she just received the report this morning and after putting me on hold she said she needed to give it to the doctor to look at and then call me back. :-?
So does this mean that only doctors give out results? Does this mean that I had a very slight positive pregnancy test? Does this mean that my progesterone wasn't where it should be? Does this give me reason to obsess more for a whole weekend?

Oh well, i'm busy all weekend with the family and work so I'll just have to wait until monday to find out that the test came back neg preg and normal hormones. I just was hoping for a miracle pregnancy and for the RE to say I guess we won't be needing you to come in for an IUI next month....
I'm gonna poas tomorrow just for fun.....

Well........ I poas Sat am with FMU and got a faint line! Very faint and it took a few min to appear. So I used another test with the same sample and got an identical line. VERY faint but visible. I had plans with my family in the morning and then went to the walk in clinic before going to work. The dr had me give a urine sample and his test was negative. I showed him mine and he said it looked positive but sent me for a blood test to be sure. :D I called today but they didnt have the results yet. So i'm getting my hopes up. I took a first response test last night and one this morning with fmu and got an even lighter line. I sure hope I'm not having a chemical pregnancy. I hope even more this is a bfp, my sister is coming into town this week and i'd love to tell her in person (we only see each other twice a year at most).

When I got home from work my DH hands me a shot glass full of malibu rum and I say oh i can't. He says come on, 3,2,1 so i put it too my lips and he drinks his. I say I can't honey, he says are you pregnant? I said I DONT KNOW but I might be. So I tell him about the tests and the doctor, and i hug him and i say can you believe you might have done this all on your own and we didnt need help? He says all serious "I knew I could do it"....."and we just saved alot of money not having to get IUI" Just like a man to say that :lol:

So this morning I took a test with FMU and went back to bed to wait for him to get up. When he awoke, he asked if I tested, I said yes and I'm waiting to look at it with you at the same time. I was so excited to look at it, but there was no dark line, not even a medium line, a VERY faint line and it was the same as the night before. Even with FMU and this was using a first response test. :(
AF is due tomorrow, I feel no cramps but my temp went down a little today. Can't wait for tomorrow since I will get the blood test results from 8dpo and 12dpo from yesterday....

Just to obsess some more, some symptoms are:

4dpo, I had this wierd feeling in my uterus and pubic bone, like I wanted to hold it, put a bit of pressure on it like it needed comforting.

8ish dpo, my boobs had grown overnight, hugely. I'm already a DD so they were really getting in the way.

Very vivid dreams and this morning 13dpo I woke up early and was very thirsty and somewhat hungry (i'm never hungry in the morning).