Had a good day of gardening today, until I stepped on a rusty nail. I 'think' I had a tetnus shot 5 years ago so i'm to too worried. Tomorrow the plan is to go into Vancouver for some Olympic strolling with the family after school. Hope I can walk on my sore foot :(
I'm finally ready to apply for $$$ assistance from the 'fertility hope fund' at the university. I just have to find my application or get a new one....
Dh agreed with my thoughts, lets try one or two more treatment cycles and then whatever the outcome we will put our efforts to rest and move on with our lives. Of course thats what i'm saying now. I think that is what I want though.... after all DSS will be graduating in 4 years.... to start over again hmmmmm
Got a new application already though I havn't started to fill it out yet. We have to send in copies of our last year's taxes among other stuff. Dh has been so tired working 7 days/week he's not in the best mood so we are not talking about that right now. He comes home, eat's, tv and sleeps.
I planted more seeds today and this time I will label them LOL I have a ton of seeds sprouting indoors but no idea which is which. It will be a mystery garden LOL
My boobs are sore.
I had to pee 5 times while visiting my bff.
I can't help but check online edd calculators..............
I obsessed over my boobies last night, they were sore laying in bed. I was thinking of testing and how wonderful it would to have a 'surprise' after all of this time....
My doggie got sick all night long. I had to get up to let him out , he had diarrhea really bad and it was over 24 hours. :( Needless to say I had a poor sleep and by the time I got up at noon... my boobies were not as sore and now i'm spotting a bit.
Its 3 am. I went to bed at 9 last night and fell asleep quickly. I woke up after 1 when pup and I heard something and he decided to bark. Then I couldn't sleep, there is a strong windstorm tonight.
My boobies are not as tender but still....... anyways I tested. It popped up with the word Pregnant..... but there was also the word NOT before it.
Oh well, next month is the last chance for a 2010 baby. I just realized that i've passed the 4 year mark of ttc.
Its now 4:20am and i've just spent an hour watching youtube videos of premature babies and surprise pregnancy announcements. Now i'll go back to bed.
I'm scared to fill out the application for funding because I don't want that to fail either.
Cramps. Light bleeding. Going into my 4th year of ttc now.
Update, I guess i'm going into my 5th year of ttc. WOW thats sad.
Why is it that i'm scared to fill out some paperwork? I'm scared of not getting the hope it represents..... I'd rather not get my hopes up at all.... hmmmm, no thats not how I feel.... I have to get it done.
I DID IT!!!! Today I hand delivered my application to the Hope Fund at my new RE's office. They provide financial support to those who are unable to pay for treatments. We were allowed to send a letter and this is what we wrote. We wrote them without consulting each other. We had to send in two years worth of taxes, all bank accounts/charge cards/debt/fertility history,treatment history etc. I added a photo of us on our wedding day hoping the RE would remember us since we have only had two appointments with him. I hope our 'sob' story will help our chances (hey i'm not too proud to play the sob story card if it means us having a child)
Thank-you for considering our application for assitance in our continued attempts to become pregnant. For the past 4 1/2 years we have been trying to get pregnant but have failed in our attempts.
Debbie and I married In October of 2005. Debbie is my 2nd wife. My 1st wife, Laura, passed away from a 3 year battle with breast cancer in August of 2001. I raised our 3 children on my own until I married Debbie. The heartbreak of losing Laura was overwhelming. We started very young to have our family and after our third child was born, we decided that I should have a vasectomy .After 18 months, shortly after she had stopped breast feeding our third child , she found a lump. She was told by doctors that it was nothing to worry about, that it was normal to find lumps after breast feeding. But the lump never went away. Laura went back and again was told not to worry , that a woman of her age and with no history of breast cancer in the family(the odds being 1-20,000) she had nothing to worry about. Laura returned to the doctors a third time and pleaded to have the lump tested. The doctors agreed and the result-breast cancer, level 3. She was scheduled for a mastectomy in 2 weeks. Laura endured 1 bout of chemotherapy as well as radiation, but it did not help, she was scheduled for a second mastectomy as the cancer had spread. Instead of a second bout of chemotherapy, we tried a natural way in Mexico. The money to find a cure was being spent as we tried to prolong her life. But the cancer kept coming. It was in her bones and soon found her liver. By August of 2001, after 2 ½ years of battling cancer and 12 years of marriage, I lost my love. It was very heart-wrenching. For four years I raised the kids who were 11, 9 and 5 when they’re mom passed away. Debbie and I met and we married in 2005. We moved to British Columbia so the family could start fresh and build a new family. While I was living in BC, I had a reversal of my vasectomy performed so that Debbie and I could have a child of our own. At that time we thought my simple operation would be the only thing that would hold us back from having a baby. We were wrong. That operation was in February of 2006 and since then we have not had any success. Our attempts have led us to fertility treatments at PCRM.. We went through several different treatments. Being a ‘guy’ I don’t recall the types of treatments. We attempted the treatments over a couple of years and it has exhausted our funds to continue. Then as a setback, at the beginning of January 2009 I hurt my back at work and was off work for most of the year until October. The only money that was coming in for me came from WorkSafe BC We desire to still have a child of our own and have now turned to UBC for assistance, a second opinion to help. Through our visits we were told of the Hope Fertility Fund. Debbie has been a wonderful step-mom to Chelsea , Haleigh and Seth but she has never had one of her own. I believe with all my heart that we would be wonderful parents for another baby.
I always wanted to be a mother. Growing up in a small Northern BC town, family and neighbours were very important. My parents married in 1969 (are still married) and had my sister three years later. They also had fertility issues. Eight years later I was born despite my mother having 10 miscarriages along their journey. As a teenager my "plan" was to marry at 23, after a few years of honeymooning have a child at 25 and live happily ever after. I ended up focusing on my career during my 20's and enjoyed my success in training hundreds of people to better serve both staff and customers in a positive way. Receiving several accolades from both my employer and the retail community, my heart was filled with pride and accomplishment. By 30 I began to realize that work was just work and it longer provided me with the satisfaction I once knew. It seemed to be holding me back from my deepest desires for love and family. I began to make changes including a move closer to my job so as to no longer commute, giving up the extra responsibilities I held at work so as to have more flexible schedule for socializing and charity. I was fortunate to meet my future husband in 2003 and two years later we married and I adopted his three children into my heart. I became an instant mother to three busy children. Since we were not going to have any 'honeymoon years' and also with my age getting on we decided to begin trying to conceive right away after Theron had his vasectomy reversal a few months into our marriage. I wanted our youngest to be as close in age as possible so that our newest addition would have a 'close' sibling. Being a healthy woman and knowing his surgery was a success I had no doubts that I would get pregnant within two months, three at most. I couldn't believe it after 4 months passed, 6 months... I was very discouraged over this and I threw myself into learning about infertility and what I needed to be tested for.
We were still paying for our wedding and so we charged Theron's reversal as it is not covered by medical. To save money I drove to Burlington, WA a few times to purchase ovulation predictor kits and HCG tests at an incredible savings. Imagine the look on the border guards' faces when I declared my purchases!
We were faithful in taking all sorts of supplements to become as healthy as possible to up our chances to conceive, also to help our future baby have the best start at life. I tested every cycle for the first three years several days to predict my ovulation, also I took my temperature every morning to chart my cycles. I even peed on a stick in the mall washroom!
I worked for a children's clothing retailer and ended up managing the White Rock store. After working there for so long and making several relationships with my customers I received lots of advice to help me conceive.... one special customer wrote down her RE's name and phone number... It was Dr. Rowe. This was also interesting because it was a few years since she had been treated at UBC (where she claims Dr. Rowe gave her two babies) and she still remembered your phone number! My job became very difficult as I had to serve new mother's, newly expectant mothers and I even helped ladies who were 'paper pregnant'.
After our first failed IUI, the very next cycle I conceived naturally! I gave Theron the following party invitation:
You are Invited
ON: December 26th, 2007
AT: Peace Arch Hospital
FOR: Pink or Blue we welcome you!
Needless to say we were very happy. My parents and sister just happened to be visiting us the following week and I was able to tell them in person which was extra special since they live over 12 hours away. Sadly I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks. Going back to work was unbelievably painful. After awhile of running into the back room in tears I was able to stiffen my upper lip and move on. I never forgot our little 'sprout'. I still have the pregnancy tests and stuffed doll my sister and niece gave us.
Our financial situation changed last year beginning with Theron's injury at work keeping him in physical therapy and off work thru the summer. I received one of the biggest shocks of my life in February when the first day back to work after visiting my parents up north I was told my my district manager "thank you for your years of service but we will not be continuing employment". I was the first of several senior management personnel to receive such news during the height of the recession. I had worked over 15 years for that company, even hand picked by the owner to work on special projects but in the end my success made me too expensive to keep on or so it seems. It felt like a death or divorce and so I needed to take some time off. ( The Vice President of Retail came to apologize for how things went) To make things even worse we were in the end of an injectable IUI cycle and 4 days later I had a negative blood test. I thought maybe some good will come from this, that the time off will finally let me relax enough to get pregnant like everyone told me would happen. I was wrong again.
After summer I found some part time work but we are still recovering financially. We have not been able to pay down my line of credit that was used for Theron's reversal and some of our treatments and medications. We are willing to sell a vehicle to pay down our debt however we have had no offers as of yet. Of course one of the cars needs a new clutch and so on.... and our middle daughter is graduating this summer so we are not getting ahead money wise. Our son is growing an inch every 10 weeks on average and wears a men's size 12.5 shoe so far....
We will be able to provide for a new baby i'm sure, our oldest two girls are almost taking care of themselves financially and with our support are becomming independant. We have family support for any children to come.
Rather than go on I will leave our plea for financial support in growing our family in your hands. I'm thankful to all who are considering us to benefit from the generosity of others. If we are blessed with a child I plan on becoming a breast milk donor in hopes of helping others where I can.
Thank you so much for thinking of us in this matter. If you have any questions please call us.
Thanks for reading. I'm hoping we get an answer within a month, they sponsor people every quarter and that is up next week.