BFN. I still havn't started AF. I really thought this would be it, using clomid and IUI together how could we loose? I got really upset and realized that this journey is not getting any quicker. I'm scared to think of how far we will have to go in order to have a baby. But one step at a time. My RE said its hard but to try to be patient and at least try a few more IUI's. This month my stepkids are away so it's like a second honeymoon and we will be going away for a few days. I've decided to use clomid but not to bother with IUI. Don't want to stress with that and need a month break from that.
oh Joy, af is here in full force. I'm actually happy since some ladies I've met on this site are having so much trouble with getting their cycles regular I feel fortunate. My gf is coming to visit with her son for a the weekend. Actually she's coming to help me at my store since i'm short staffed and its so busy. It will be fun working with her though. The last time I saw her was when I went to visit and told her i got my bfp. :(
Gotta get my prescrip for clomid today. Tomorrow starts round 2.
Today is day three of clomid. So far no s/e. The first cycle I had bizarre dreams and I was really hot but nothing major. Actually right now I do feel a tad warm. Maybe that was the coffee I just had :lol:
DH and I are home alone again. It is so nice to enjoy each other with no family stresses. I think he is really enjoying our honeymoon time too. I'm so tired and sore from working more than usual and way more physical than normal. Only three more days till i'm off for the weekend!!! Hmmm, lets see, when will I be o'g? One more week. Oh well, we can practice :)
Back from camping. We decided to spontaneously drive out to the campground wed night to snatch up a spot since all that was left for the weekend was "first come" sites. Couldn't reserve a spot anywhere around here. So we drove out there with some clothes and supplies and our tent. We ended up staying the night and driving home the next morning and went to work. Then we were off for the weekend together. But all hell broke loose when one of Dh's x friends did something to really upset us. I cant talk about it but it was hurtful and I was really upset at how dh handled it. SO, there goes our freakin honeymoon weekend camping. Sat was when it hit the fan and we had been invited to a bbq back home. Long story short, we went to the bbq but had to leave early because I was getting sicker by the minute with a bad head cold. I felt like passing out. We stayed home and I had a fever. The next day we drove out to the lake back to our camp. It was cloudy so we just sat around the fire and read quietly. I wish I could have relaxed. I know my body needs it. We made up but im upset that I didnt de-stress from work and now I have to go back tomorrow for another marathon week. Oh well, c'est la vie.
Oh and did I mention that Thursday I got a slight yeast infection? I get them maybe every 5 years. YUP, this is the week I get one.
Thank goodness i'm home, we are getting things organized for another week and then we have a nice week off together and going away.
Don't know what to say. I just wish someone could understand what my heart is going thru. TTC for so long, having my hopes dashed is really hurting me. DH doesn't get it, its hard on our relationship. Not to mention other problems.
I feel like things are being taken away from me. Like during O time we have in the past had fights. I would bd anyways but now I dont feel like I can bd just to have a baby. I want to work things out first. BUT that means missing a month of trying. Which in turn means that our fight 'caused" us to loose another baby even though it was only a chance at a baby. I don't know if anyone can relate to this. I have read other women talk about fighing during O time, the pressure it brings on couples is very common so I know i'm not alone in that regard.
Just feeling down and my window of conceiving this month is about to close without any hopes.
I'm feeling so much better and more relaxed. Thank goodness. I wonder if the clomid is effecting me more than i'm realizing. Not that its my fault for everything but it explains my "despair" lately. Anyways DH and I had a good talk. After my post yesterday I sent him a long email talking about my feelings and needs, then I sent a link to my journal. He read both and responded as I hoped. Things are good and we are moving forward to mending our feelings and looking ahead to a nice vacation next week. I hope it is nice and hot where we are going.
As for ttc this month, my temp was very low today but I slept with only a sheet and woke up freezing early in the morning so who knows. I'm hoping that meant I didn't O yet. Dh said he wanted to try last night to make a baby so we did. Tonight too.
We got invited to a bbq last night. It was so nice to visit with friends and laugh out loud. Tonight we are going to an older couples' for dinner too.
Today my temp went way up so I guess O time is over. On to the 2ww now.
Im so happy that one of my ttc friends just got her bfp. I'm really happy for her, so much that i'm not sad for me. :) IYKWIM
Hope I can join her club soon but i'm really hoping to enjoy the next week off work and honeymooning with dh. We will be touring the winerys and going to the lake next week. Can't wait.
after going in to work for 20 min, i'm officially on VACATION!!!!!
I havn't packed a thing yet, oh well we won't need much. We are staying in a little hotel and we will have a kitchenette so we can save money cooking. The hotel has a pool and is across the street from a lake.
The stress is already coming off my shoulders. I can't wait to feel totally relaxed, so far its getting pretty good. Now if I could just talk to my little eggie that released and hopefully has a spermie in it, PLEASE IMPLANT. I"ll try to take good care of you (again).
Hi Ladies!!! I'm back from vacation. It was nice to be away from home, no housework, just relaxing. It poured rain almost the whole time so that really "dampened" the trip. But we managed to enjoy a wine tour, went tasting to several wineries. It was a neat experience. We bought alot of bottles to cellar hopefully we will have a baby to celebrate by the time we want to open them.
My computer is a mess, won't stay on for more than 5 seconds so I'll be KUP from the library.
I'm back to work as of today. My assistant manager (the 20 year old) came in to introduce her new baby today. Noone told me she had her baby while I was gone. Actually she had the baby while I was still in town. I think the girls at work were nervous to tell me in case I got upset. That just makes it worse IMO. Like i'm not really existant, or like my struggles are not existant if we don't talk about them. SIGH
Oh well, onward and upward. I keep debating if I should get some tests, i'm thinking not to bother till i"M late. But its a hard habit to break :?
On to Round 3 of clomid this week. Lots going on in my family. We are all doing pretty good, its finally sunny here (been an awful summer so far) and my parents came down for a visit. First thing my mom does is poke my belly "anything growing in there?" SIGH
I havn't talked about DH's problems, which could be one more thing effecting our fertility. He had his "40 yr old" physical a while back and the dr said he felt a lump on his prostate. Months later he got into a urologist who agreed and offered to check him again in 6 months or go straight to a biopsy. DH chose the biopsy. Memories are flooding back to him and he's been scared and angry. Good news is the biopsy is done and we have an appt this friday to get the results. I'm not thinking the worst, but he is, I don't blame him. If it was me i'd be thinking of the "C" word too. At least we don't have to wait long to find out.
AFter his appt and if he gets good news, he will be driving up north with my dss to paint my parents house. He's been out of work a month now and my parents need some other work done around the house. I wish my dsd would go too then i'd have the house to myself and not have to do anything. KWIM? oh well, she's 15 and i'm sure she won't want to miss any summer weekends or plans with friends. At least she's a good kid.
My dad took a look at my computer, its probably fried. He might give us his computer so we will just come to the library. Maybe it will be a good thing for me, less obsessing being away from preg.org. But I miss my girls!