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Thread: room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

  1. #151
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Oh my, was I ever. Sunday I made turkey dinner for my parents visiting us. I started late and we didnt eat till 7:30 ish. I was hungry so I was snacking on some tomato and cucumber that I cut for a salad. DH came in and I fed him some after cutting the grass. After most of us ate dinner my dad say's Oh no I didnt save room for salad and i told everyone dont bother, salad doesnt really match turkey dinner anyways I just made for whatever. So noone ate it........................... bed early and the fun began for me at 11. Had a bad poop. Back asleep till 2 am when I had to puke..... joined 30 min later by dh who took turns with me in the bathroom. then the runs started. We both wanted to DIE. I've never seen him sick like that. My parents were staying with us and I had to ask for them to take care of us, they got us an appt at the dr's and drove us there to get a gravol shot, helped me but dh kept on puking. It was awful. I didnt move from bed till Tuesday late afternoon and that was only for 5 minutes. ITs wed morning and i'm feeling alive again, still weak and light headed but alive. I missed two days of work and fortunately i'm off today and tomorrow to rest. I hope dh is ok. Now dsd is puking and pooping. Great, i'm finally feeling a bit better and now......

    We thought it was food poisoning from the turkey. It was cooked perfectly, i'm very careful to use fresh utensils during the cooking but I wonder if when I washed my hands I got turkey juice on the faucet and then when i turned the water off i just put it back on my hands only to make a salad...... but now dsd is sick so maybe it was a vile flu. Never know.

    Oh and I tested yesterday and got a bfn.

    Life is normal.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  2. #152
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Ah yes, af arrived right on time, not even late this cycle. What a week. I think we had something like the Norwalk virus. Something is going around that hits violently just like what we had. I"m glad its over with for me. DH is still not himself. He slept alot yesterday, still had tummy pains. Last night he got a bit more energy. I hope it doesnt turn into something more.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  3. #153
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I've been suffering from problems with my 'hip' for a year and half now. First I tried the chiropractor. It felt good getting crunched but didnt help the issue. I've been to a physiotherapist and today saw a new one reccomended to me by my gp. He says the offiice is probably the best in Canada. So its the first visit with this guy (who 'healed' my dh) and he is examining me and says: have you ever been diagnosed with endometriosis? or a cyst? OMG. I said I know I have a cyst and today i'm going to get an ultrasound to check it for change. He said let me know what you find out and where it is. It might be related. OMG maybe this is what is wrong with me not getting pregnant! He did some acupuncture on me and he says that he expects me to recover from this in a few months with treatment.
    I'm going to stop by the hospital and ask for a copy of my ultrasound last year to compare todays scan. I hope my cyst hasn't grown significantly or multiplied. I havn't had a scan since starting clomid last year and I took it three or four times.

    I'm feeling positive after this, maybe there is something that can be fixed!!!!!!!
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  4. #154
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    So only a few hours later and i'm really depressed. Its wierd. I think that subconciously i've had alot building up on today. After my scan was done, the screen on the U/S machine said three numbers like measurements. I'm assuming it means three cysts.... 4.3 cm was the largest. I'm sure I saw two cysts during my scan and in other scan's I think I only had one.

    So I drove to the hospital to get a copy of last years u/s report. I'm planning on taking it to my clinic to compare this years from last years kwim? BUT the u/s was done for my miscarriage. So i've put it off all year getting the report. I was fighting (still am) tears on the drive. I get the report, waited till I got home and read it. It doesnt say anything awful just that the scan showed either it was too early to see a pregnancy in either my uterus or ectopic, OR a complete abortion. Well I know what happened there. It also says that my cyst is on my right ovary and thats what I wondered since I can almost always feel some sensation there esp after o to af. SO i've been reading up on cysts, but more importantly on fibroids. I remember my first u/s 18 months ago said something about a fibroid, this report says I have a subserosal anterior fibroid. Other kinds of fibroids are worse for fertility and this one doesnt necessarily pose problems. My RE said he didnt suspect it to be a problem. But in the back of my mind i'm hoping there is a reason to be found for me not getting pregnant and that it can be fixed.

    I'm sad too because its coming up one year since my m/c. One year ago now I was glowing..... not knowing what was to happen soon.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  5. #155
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I had a nice drive across the boarder today. I was so lucky, only one car in front of me!!!!!!! On the way back it was only 15 min wait. I didnt get much stuff, went to Trader JOes for the first time. I heard lots of people talk about it being great for organic and good prices. I didnt get much, EVOO and a bottle of wine.. what more do you need?

    I also got some cheese since its so much cheaper in america. Mozzarella for $7.99 and it would be $12.99 in Canada. Oh and gas. I filled up for 47.31 and in canada the same amount of gas would be $59.!!!!!! So thats good.

    I didnt have breakfast.... to be honest I was craving american drive-thru but I didnt have any american cash and didnt want to be charged for using my debit card so I just didnt eat till getting home at noon. Then I ate a frozen dinner I got while there.

    I have to get better at breakfast. I was in a routine of making smoothies with protien powder and fiber powder.... i'm just lazy to make it. I'll try to get back at it tomorrow.
    __________________
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  6. #156
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I just got my results from the clinic. I went in and saw the dr. (walk in clinic met her a few times, very nice)

    She said my test was normal. My cyst is a bit smaller than last year, only one cyst and they didnt mention a fibroid at all. The u/s tech didnt even spend much time on my left side though..............


    I lost it in the office. I hoped that there were too many cysts and it was something that could be fixed and boom i'd have my answer and i'd get pregnant. NOpe, "nothing wrong"

    So she said after I asked.... I should have a lap done. I'll call monday to get an appt with my RE. I'm upset too because my RE has told me 'nothing is wrong' and my cyst is not a problem and I should just move to injectables but I'm ovulating every month, why make 8 eggs when the one i make every month isn't working either... I dont want sextuplets....


    Shaking my head and throwing my hands in the air......
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  7. #157
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    CD12

    Yesterday I called the RE and made an appt. The next available is in one month!!! Even for a short visit! Oh well, at least its made. Of course that is probably when dh's parents are coming for a visit for the first time since we got married. It will be so nice to show them BC, take them to Seattle and Victoria. I know they will love it and maybe understand more why we live here and not in Ontario

    I was upset at how long i'll be waiting but the pressure is off a little now because I feel like i'll be taken care of again from the RE.
    Oh and my hip seems a bit better!!! I go back this week for more acupuncture.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  8. #158
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I'm enjoying my day off work. Started to go thru my packed bedroom. I have so many clothes and just STUFF that is literally all over. I'm feeling pretty energetic getting it done. Its a nice sunny and cool day. Nice to air out the house

    I keep forgetting that I should use an opk since its cd 13. I'll try to remember next pee break.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  9. #159
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    I ended up poas and got a pos opk!!!!!!!!!! I"m glad I caught that. I tested the next day and it was negative. My surges seem to be just that... surges and they dont last too long

    I had wierd dreams last night. I can't remember most of the details but I remember my mom being excited and she said to me that I should call TWICE next week. This is because I was in the 1ww in my dream and had symptoms. Very wierd. I dont talk to my mom IRL about ttc except for medical testing.

    Its saturday and I work till 4. Off sunday and then after a long shift on monday im' heading over to the island to visit bff for my days off.

    I just realized that today is the anniversary of my m/c. It's alot easier than the day of my edd. That was a big buildup and heartbreak. Today i'm ok. I feel good that I havn't obsessed about this anniversary. Its still real though.
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

  10. #160
    Posting Addict deborah74's Avatar
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    Well, hmmmmm what do I say. All i'll say is that dh and I are going thru some tough times.

    I really can't even start with it. Oh but I will paste something I posted on another board...

    I'm watching taking home baby on TLC and OMG.....

    Ok no offence but it just hurts and reaffirms how unfair ttc is. This girl and guy met in grade 9....4 years later their paths crossed, two months later they were engaged and ....expecting.

    So this show starts in the hospital and they watch the new parents for the first day or two .... in the hospital they say 'the father of the baby had to work so the mothers dad is driving them home OMG

    Then the grandfather is putting the baby in the car and the nurse is asking if he needs help... he says oh no i have 6 kids I know exactly what to do. and hes 34!!!!!!!!OMG

    They are all living together with the mothers siblings in a 1 bedroom appartment.......

    They interview the new mother and she says that most babies are unplanned at her age but she wanted this baby...... before the commercial she said that she was nervous to tell anyone because she always said she never wanted kids....
    And now she's sleeping on a pull out couch with no sheets for her first night home.... Lovely.


    They look so happy......


    I"m not....
    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/105fd1
    TTC since Feb 06 6 IUI, 4 rounds clomid, 3 rounds of injections, ultrasounds, HSG, Laproscopy, Hysteroscopy, Naturopathic Dr, tcm and acupuncture= BFN
    Natural BFP = m/c May 07 @ 6W6D
    BCP for IVF August 1
    Synarel August 15
    Stims August 29 Repronex 150
    September 11 ER 10 eggs=No eggs fertilized, rescue ICSI failed
    my journal: http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboa...ad.php?t=14537

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