Thread: room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

It's Tuesday and i'm up for my follie u/s. Its still dark outside, so wierd. I woke up dreaming that I was going in, and they stopped the u/s right away and said, I see a heartbeat! Somehow last month I O'd late and got pregnant but the test didnt show.. yada yada now poof, there is a baby. They gave me a big congrats bag with the sims in it to play making a family a pink and a blue photo album, music cd and I can't remember what else.

I'm excited about the prospects for today's u/s. Then I go straight to work. At least i'll know what day will be my IUI and we can prepare ourselves.

Good news, I have my IUI scheduled for thursday My lining is better than last time at 8.7
Not so great news, one of the three didnt grow, so I have two according to my dr. One is 18 and one is 15. I sure hope the smaller one grows enough to mature and give us a double chance but its very slow obviously. I'm glad he didnt decide to trigger me today, since last time I had a follie that size and it didnt work.
They said I could just take the trigger home once they mixed it and I could do it at home, problem is they want it done at 8am tomorrow and I havn't given myself any shots, my hubby does all of them. I'm too chicken, dont want to start tomorrow. So they said I could have him do it before work which is just before 6am. Good thing is i'll still be VERY sleepy.

Thats the latest. I keep rubbing my belly telling the eggies to get big and mature. Can't do much more than this right.


Update, Dh did my shot today, rather than let me stay sleepy he had to get me up to help with the needle, he couldn't draw out all of the medicine.

Oh and last night, I was on the phone and making dinner at the same time...... went to drain the pasta and somehow managed to poor boiling hot water over my stomach. I yelled and immediately tried to get my skirt off but couldn't get the zipper. I thought I was ok for one min but then it really hurt and was red. I had to ice it for awhile. One side was spared, so thats where both my injections went. Its still sore today. I'm such a clutz in the kitchen.

Its Wed night and i'm getting excited for tomorrow. I'm happy i'm off work, I just have to drive dsd to school and then i'll have the house to myself for a few hours before meeting dh at the RE's office. Yippee.

I gave dh his dinnertime vitamins, he takes 7-8 (yuck). He says 'are these gonna effect my swimmers tomorrow?" "like am I gonna have way more?"

I hope so. He doesn't know it yet but just because we have our IUI tomorrow doesn't mean he's off the hook for taking them anymore. Just in case it doesnt work, I want him to keep it up since it usually takes three months for vitamins to show any effect.......

My tummy is sore, the burn still hurts but its tolerable. My injection site is getting sorer by the hour. Right now the red patch is the size of a quarter.

But i'm still excited Can't wait.

IUI went well. DH's count was ok. Progression was 4/4 which she said was great, motility and morphology was around 75%. The IUI was fine, I think she went in and hit the inside wall of my uterus or something, there was a sudden cramp but it got better right away. Well there was a little cramping as I rested after in the office. When the nurse left dh was cute, he gets up and kisses my belly and started talking to his 'little buddies'.

I was pretty calm all day, got some bad bills but I tried positive self talking to not stress over it. I have to admit though, as I laid there staring at the ceiling for the 5th time, I couldn't help but think this will all end in dissapointment... but hope makes me keep on trying.

OH I asked about my follies and I was wrong. SHe said I have one at 17 on the right ovary and one at 15 on the left. I thought it was bigger. BREATHE, they wouldn't have triggered me if it wasn't big enough right?

TMI but need a laugh

In the room where I had my IUI I saw in the shelf there were packages of IUI catheders.... so that got my mind thinking hmmm, maybe I should take two and if this doesnt work DH and I can do it ourselves. I guess DH saw my mind churning and when I told him he needed me to explain what they were.... the long skinny thing that they put in me to put the sperm in...

took him 2 seconds to stand up and point at his penis and say BUT YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE OF THOSE...
MADE me laugh.

I guess I should have taken better care of my tummy after burning it though it will be ok. I did end up blistering on one corner of the burn. It doesnt hurt much, but my trigger site is really sore and made getting to sleep a bit of a struggle. Bit better today.

My bff called me this morning and invited me over for the weekend Yup i'm going. I always relax and rest there, maybe this will be the perfect time to implant a nice healthy embie. Guess i'll go tomorrow after work. Now to seeing if I can go early without getting into trouble.

I'm at my bff's.* She always' pampers me.* I had a good sleep last night and I can't help but wonder what is going on in my uterus right now, if anything.* Please let there be an embryo making its way into my uterus.* Please let its lining be so ultra comfy it wants to nestle in and stay.* Please let it divide and grow big and strong.Its hard at this stage in my cycle to let go of all ttc control and leave it up to my body.* The past two and half weeks have been spent driving at 6:30 am thru rush hour traffic to my appointments for ultrasounds, blood work... getting an injection every night carefully mixed and timed... taking vitamins twice a day and getting dh to take them three times a day (hard work in itself convincing him * )* but now there is nothing more I can do.* It feels almost like if i'm not doing anything it won't happen.* I can't blame myself for this helpless feeling due to my multiple dissapointments.* Breathe...

I had a nice time at bff's. They got a kitten while I was there so I got to kitty sit on tuesday while they were at work/school. She was so snuggly and let me hold her all day.... sleeping on my lap... Gotta be good for the soul.

Not so cute the last night I stayed there as she kept waking us up all thru the night. Hard to get mad at a little furry creature that just wants to play or lick your face or crawl into your arms while you are sleeping.

I'm feeling ready to post some symptoms. I have avoided it because every month I have 'symptoms' but it doesnt mean anything....

whats new this month is

very sore nips (might be from the trigger shot but they are not going away)
heavy bb's (same as above)
urgent poops (is this a preg symptom?)
sensation/pressure/almost like cramps but not quite in my uterus for a few days now

Thank you stepmum for your pm. It came at a very good time for me. It was very encouraging. Thank you

Thanks to everyone who reads my journal. Its nice to be in good company.


Well..... I tested. BFN. Of course up till that point I was feeling SO hopeful this month. It's GOT to work this month. But after the test even though it was early i'm still sad.

I got my progesterone levels back... I can't remember the exact number but its sixty something. 62? 67? Can't remember. But that's higher than last month which was 49. BUT the nurse said to me ' this is a natural cycle right?' NO, so does she think maybe it doesnt look good? I know that progesterone is not a predictor of pregnancy though I wish it was.

making plans for my bi-weekly visit at my bff's. This time i'm taking my dh and dss. I have a plan on how to surprise her if I get a bfp. I told her my test isn't till next monday which is AFTER my visit.

Last night I started thinking I was pregnant... stayed up late re-reading a pregnancy magazine my bff gave me over a year ago when I got my bfp. I kept it and look at it whenever i'm hopefull. Then today I tested again and well.....

Hope, its a powerful thing.

I'm excited. Not long till i'll know the results. My uterus is all calm now, not the pressure that I had last week. Now i'm nervous. I'll try to not ponder how i'll feel if its bfn.