Thread: room for more love (ttc after vr and loss)

Its friday, I had acupuncture today. THe plan was to switch to poking my stomach, but the dr said my back was too tight and she needed to work on that instead. SHe said if the back is in spasm then It will prevent me from getting pregnant. Hmmm, maybe that is another factor as my back is always giving me trouble.

I go tomorrow again for my stomach and on monday. That and taking the herbs i hope my body makes some good changes and makes a healthy mature egg.

DSS ended up getting worse on wednesday and i took him back to the dr. THe dr sent us to emergency thinking it could be appendix. SO he had bloodwork and urine test.... the ped said he didnt think so and when the tests came back he said his guess is possibly mono but wasn't going to bother testing because even if it came back negative he could still have it.

I took another day off work and spent it with him, he didnt eat much yesterday but had some soup. TOday hes a new boy. Feeling much better. Now i'm exhausted despite being off work. I went in for a few hours yesterday and today. Tomorrow will be a marathon.

I've been using opk's for the past three days, all negative still. THis is good I think, more time for the accupuncture to work.

Today was the first snowfall. ITs all gone now, just rain but i'm sure it will go back to snow by morning. ITs COLD.

Off to get some starbucks gift cards to suck up to the girls who covered my shifts this week.

yea, its sunday and i got a pos opk Its very cold today, couldn't get into the truck as the lock was frozen ??? WIERd.

Now dsd is sick with the stomach flu. Is there ever a moment when we are all ok? CRAzy.

I wish I COuld have been temping this week but my thermometer has been used by every sicky in my house..... never by my bed anymore. AT least I Got the opk result.

AFTER all this time, I STIll have hope...........

HMMMM i wonder what got spilled on this keyboard and is making the shift button stick/?????

I Started my day with acupuncture at 9. some of the needles really hurt this time. SHE Asked about my back and gave me a choice, either work on my back or my tummy.... i chose tummy. i got another pos opk today and i have the thermometer back and all washed up. i temped this morning and i think it was low. (gotta check, only looked without my glasses in bed)
DH came home from work and i told him i needed him for a min, i said before you have your bath.... i didnt want him to cook his spermies lol. i showed him my opk and he immediately said OK and headed for the bed

can't wait to see what tomorrow's temp is. I HAVN"T temped in so long. its been a nice break but it will be fun to have numbers to add to my ff chart.... yea, more to obsess over.

the tcm dr gave me some ginsing root to boil and i drink the liquid as a tea. its not that bad. what a relief. its supposed to help my immune system, something that definately needs help. she said its safe.... maybe i'll go check online just to be sure its ok for pregnancy. I don't go back for another week. that will give me time to figure out my medical insurance for all of these treatments.

i took puppy to the dog park and i let him run around without his leash for the first time. he did awesome. never took off or followed other dogs. now if i could keep him from grabbing stuff out of the garbage.

OH, after my acupuncture i headed across the border to my fav cheap store and got two packs of digital pregnancy tests. they are $1.50 each test!!! much better than $22 here in canada. back to work tomorrow.

let the 2ww begin!!!!!!!!! AGAin

IT SNOWED a ton today. So pretty. DH lost half a day's work though, they sent everyone home early because it was impossible to continue building in the whiteout. ITS A good thing and he got home safe, but he doesn't get paid for the hours missed....

I finally emailed his hr about our insurance problem, not getting reimbursed for our injections in the summer and we are short $2800ish. They are helping us but it might mean we only get $200

shaking my head. I should have yelled more i guess. cost us alot ofmoney. and still no baby.
breathe, i've lost way to many hours of sleep over this.

i'm off to have a nice bath and have some treats watching the canucks. OH and I couldn't help but reminice watching trevor linden's retirement party tonight, my grandma was a huge fan.

well, now i remember how temping = obsessing. i've only temped for a few days now.... and i'm already dissapointed with how my chart looks.... i'm kindof laughing at myself with all of this.

sigh

its -14 today BRRRRR typical temps for us this time of year are +6
I'm off to work rather slowly but thats the same no matter what the temperature is

My chart is def different than it used to be. I'm not getting a high rise in temp... this makes me worried. The naturopathic dr told me last year that low temps show problems with thyroid or something.... i'm thinking i might use an older test order for progesterone in a few days to see whats going on.

Yesterday I had a customer come in, she works at the lab across the parking lot of my mall and i've been a frequent customer of hers this summer. she said 'I havn't seen you lately?" I told her well there hasn't been much point to test hcg betas yet, but still hoping soon. She's so sweet, she said yes soon and said to stay positive. I think she told me before she took a long time ttc for her child.

Alright, off to work with the crazy xmas customers. Hope I don't loose it on anyone today,,, no promises

We had a nice snow day yesterday. Our sunday meeting was cancelled from all the snow so we had a nice big breakfast and stayed home most of the day. We started to walk to the mall to look for warm work boots for dh, got almost halfway there and turned around it was tough walking on uncleared sidewalks. the main roads were ok so we drove there. Totally sold out, then we went toSafeway for groceries. I made a roast beef dinner and it was really good. This morning I woke up to dh screaming downstairs, i thought he was getting mad at the kids for doing something. I guess he pulled my car out to get the truck for work and my car was stuck in the middle of the road. 10 min later he was able to go but of course everything was crappy for him. i was worried watching the news report about the roads, i called him every 5 min and he said he counted 5 cars in the ditch and he was only half way to work.

turned out good for him though as the main guy who has loader training didnt show up which meant dh was the only one who could drive the plow, and easy day for him. We got about a foot of snow. I'm watching puppy, he loves the snow, so cute. even kitty is outside. wish i could stay home today and play with pup out there.

today i have acupuncture on my dinner break. not sure how it will be going back to work after that but oh well... probably the last treatment for a few weeks.

Today I had a conference call at 8:30, since i dont work till 1pm i slept till right before the call. well I woke up with dh but dozed back asleep. I try to sleep as much as I can since I dont fall asleep well, up till midnight most nights. i suffer from an overactive mind, and its random anxious thoughts that are usually money or kid related, sometimes work.
So anyways on the call my boss was asking me if i had a coffee yet then when it was my turn to speak again my answer led him to say 'its called expresso' everyone was laughing. I just don't have energy, ever.

I guess I should pay some bills with my overdraft and get ready for work. My last night shift for a bit

This is the time of month that i start to loose hope. nothing to make me thing i'm pregnant. i've been thinking about the gross chinese herbs that come with a new cycle. I dont want to take them, but I think i'll try one more month. after that i just cant do it.

I got to play in the snow yesterday. Well walk around the back yard and throw a bit of snow at pup who LOVES it.

I had a meltdown at work yesterday. I felt so emotional, everything was upsetting and overwhelming me. I'm glad to have today to enjoy at home, then back tomorrow for a busy day at work. Lots of pressure on me to have high sales for the store.


And its sprouts edd. would be one year old now.

I've been avoiding posting here. I'm doing ok, one more year has passed..... I feel sad for the girl I was a year ago. I was devistated. Work made things so tough and I wish I didnt have to go thru that.

DH and i have been having a few bad days, of course in the back of my hopeful mind I think hmmmm, so if I test now and get a bfp, the 'experience' will be ruined by our disagrement.... and one more thing to be mad at him for, for taking away my wonderful bfp moment and surprise etc.

Don't know why i bother getting upset over it, 35 cycles of negative pregnancy tests should be making me lose hope by now.

My heart says keep trying.